Chapter: 30. Fight!
Everyone has a scale in their heart, placing various beautiful or not-so-beautiful things on either side, and by observing which side tips, they can draw conclusions about which is heavier or lighter.
Timani also has a scale in her heart.
The fluctuations in the weight on both sides are the source of her restless emotions.
“You all seem to be living quite happily every day… isn’t that good?”
“Well, it’s okay. We have food and drink, we can fish, there’s Xiya, there’s Belis, and there’s family, a bunch of noisy little friends. So what do you want to say?”
“What I want to say is just these things.”
Princess Xue Fei casually sat cross-legged opposite Timani, listening to her pour out the burdens weighing down her scale.
Timani gave a self-deprecating laugh.
That “it’s whatever” expression seemed to scoff at her past thoughts.
She lowered her head, almost as if apologizing to Princess Xue Fei.
“Me… maybe I’m quite selfish. Even though I portrayed my past thoughts in such a righteous manner, it doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to use you guys…”
“Use?” Princess Xue Fei raised an eyebrow, lowering her stance to bring her head closer to Timani’s lowered head, “What strange thing are you talking about? Oh… well, it’s true that you’ve eaten a lot of my food without paying. Now you want to just leave after enjoying it all, you are indeed using my food. I haven’t even asked you to settle the meal expenses yet.”
“You… are clearly so smart, why do you always pretend to be silly? Are you sick?”
“Eh heh heh… thanks for the compliment… I’m actually not that smart… uh, you’re the one who’s sick!”
“Ha…”
“You’re laughing? Hehe, it’s only when you’re laughing that we can continue to talk properly.”
The reason for her pretense was quite clear.
Timani had just been struggling with whether to clarify her thoughts, but Princess Xue Fei’s bizarre antics stripped away all her hidden thoughts.
Princess Xue Fei’s head moved along with Timani’s as she slowly raised it, finally meeting her gaze levelly.
Timani’s inability to hold back her laughter was like warm water in the cold wind, gradually tinged with desolation.
Her peripheral vision often glanced outside the window, as if she would resolve to fly away at any moment.
“I just… sometimes ask myself why I’m traveling and acting alongside you all.”
“Princess Xue Fei, you said you would go with me to Northern Region Flame Land to explore matters related to some deities, to help me investigate the truth behind my parents’ deaths, and I actually believed that claim.”
“No… maybe deep down I knew that you were saying this just so I wouldn’t have any psychological burden. The more I interact with you all, the more I understand that you are such a ‘strange’ group of people.”
You said you were just doing it as a side task.
And for that, you’re willing to travel to the most dangerous place in this world.
There, every single thing you do, even if it’s just as an aside, bears enormous risks.
That “side task” isn’t as simple as drinking water while eating; it could literally mean risking your life.
What made Timani feel uncomfortable and look down on herself…
Was that she had actually accepted such a notion.
Those words that advised her in her heart brought her guilt every time she thought of them.
— It should be fine, right…? Um… if it’s just a little side help in the investigation, as long as there’s restraint, everyone should be safe…?
— Princess Xue Fei said… she was helping me
Just as a side task, just as a side task… I didn’t ask them; I already advised them, and they didn’t listen to me. It’s absolutely not that I didn’t want to persuade them more…!
— Although the chance of uncovering the truth is small, but what if… Princess Xue Fei is someone who can always invoke miracles, who can guide the people around her together, so maybe it really could…?
Perhaps, maybe, possibly.
These words were Timani’s rhetoric to persuade herself every time she grew anxious.
Yes…
If she encounters these slim chances, Timani could unravel years of emotional knots, maybe even take revenge on the ones responsible for her parents’ deaths.
But what if she fails…?
Every time she imagined those noisy girls, the ones who joked with her daily and called her for meals at mealtime, lying in pools of blood, gasping for breath like her parents did back then…
A chill would invariably rise within her.
“Living together with you all these days… I’m really fed up… I’ve been too happy every day, what should I do…?”
“Be happy, don’t you think that’s bad?”
“But thinking about my parents dying! I’m the only one who gets to enjoy this life! I feel sick!”
Princess Xue Fei’s heart tightened.
Because Timani suddenly looked up and shouted these things, tears of a dragon scattered all around, striking fear in those who watched.
She didn’t interrupt Timani’s emotional outburst.
She patiently awaited as the fierce determination in Timani’s voice gradually turned into weakness and she began to cover her face and cry.
“But… but… when I think about using you all to accomplish revenge… I feel even more sick… what should I do… Princess Xue Fei… I feel so uncomfortable… is it better for me to just disappear? Perhaps I shouldn’t have told you these things today…?”
Maybe I should leave alone in the wind and snow while you all are sleeping.
No need to pack my bags since I’m all alone, just as when I came.
So that you wouldn’t be able to find me. Ha… wrong. How could I be so arrogant to think that after just a few days, you’ve taken me seriously? Would you even look for me?
— You would, right?
Because Timani knows this group of people is so “strange,” deeply emotional and loyal, that’s why she feels so troubled and uneasy…
“Hey.”
“Wha… what?”
“In any case, first take a bite, calm down, and then listen to me. Seriously, you’ve managed to say a lot in one go; at least give others a chance to speak, right?”
That’s why I said, Princess Xue Fei is strange.
In Timani’s understanding, she should feel rejected when she goes crazy like this, and the other party should kick her away, right…?
More realistically, Timani had never vented her emotions like this to anyone other than her parents.
But Princess Xue Fei, she didn’t know where she got a donut from, pressing it gently against Timani’s cheek.
Timani didn’t refuse her kindness, still crying with a messy face, tremblingly took the donut into her hands and held it close.
Because of companionship, they gradually began to understand each other.
If it were someone else, this action would have been seen as disrespectful.
But Princess Xue Fei was different, for her, a donut’s weight was equivalent to sincerity.
Princess Xue Fei looked at this fire lizard, holding the donut but not eating it, just blinking those big watery eyes, seemingly seeking answers to her tangled problems.
Really… don’t have such high expectations of me, I really am not good at comforting people, let alone such a big fire lizard.
Princess Xue Fei stood up.
She patted her ethereal dream-like azure skirt and then made her hand into a knife-like shape, lightly tapping it on Timani’s head.
Smack.
Crisp and light.
“I can only say, your definition of ‘using’ is a bit too distorted.”
“What… do you mean?”
“Just the literal meaning.” Princess Xue Fei slowly drew back her hand with a mischievous smile, “Why don’t you recall who first suggested going to Northern Region Flame Land?”
“It was… you?”
“Yeah, it was originally suggested by me.”
Now answering Princess Xue Fei’s question was the only option for Timani, whose thoughts were somewhat confused.
“Don’t you know that it was me who suggested it? Hey, then let me ask you, if someone outside the city is fighting and someone getting beaten is from your family, and I hear about it and say I can’t stand to not intervene, do you think if you don’t stop me, it would mean that you’re using me? You didn’t encourage me to intervene.”
“Intervene…?
Of course not… but that’s different; that’s outside the city, this is Northern Region Flame Land, a place where one careless move could cost you your life!”
“No difference. I’m just telling you that to be ‘used,’ your selfishness must make others uncomfortable.”
You’re just a mere fire lizard. What do you know about being used?
Leaning closer to Timani, Princess Xue Fei subtly took back the donut she hadn’t eaten from her.
Then she stuffed it into her own mouth, eating it with gusto.
“Mmm… mmm… but clearly, you haven’t made me feel uncomfortable. Intervening is something I can’t stand; it makes me feel uneasy, while you are simply an unintended beneficiary of the circumstances. All you have to do is lie at home waiting for your beaten family to return, and you don’t have to do anything, so naturally, you wouldn’t need to feel guilty about it, right? It really has nothing to do with you.”
“Huh?”
What logic is that?
Even Timani’s not-so-active brain could understand this—this is just robbery logic!
Does helping others also mean you can use robbery logic to forcefully help them!?
Timani blinked her eyes, which now sparkled more than before, watching Princess Xue Fei’s cheeks bulging as she chewed the donut, feeling increasingly astonished by the demon princess’s uniqueness and difference.
But that was a separate matter.
The more she witnessed their happiness, the more she saw their uniqueness.
Timani’s resolve was strengthened not to involve them in danger.
She didn’t want to witness a tragedy repeat itself; she didn’t want to see her cherished ones die before her eyes.
Even if… she had to wander, suffer, or sleep under the stars, she wanted to protect their rare smiles in this chaotic world.
But she also didn’t want to talk about leaving anymore.
Just as Timani’s resolve began to solidify, thinking about persuading Princess Xue Fei to find another way instead of going to Northern Region Flame Land, or to think about trying other methods…
Princess Xue Fei suddenly said something that surprised her.
“Alright, hurry up and wipe your tears, otherwise, it’ll look like I’m bullying you, and if Xiya and the others see, they’ll have something to say about me. Also, get ready to come to the open ground where we fought the Wind Demon Dragon Fish yesterday.”
“Do what…?”
“We’re going to fight, no holding back, give it everything you’ve got.”
“Oh… a fight…? A fight?!”
“Otherwise?”
Actually, from the very beginning, Timani’s primary concern had some minor deviations.
You think our trip to Northern Region Flame Land is perilous, full of danger and devoid of strategy.
From your perspective, indeed, it seems that way.
But haven’t we become companions by now?
Since we are companions, there are some things you should know, so don’t stay in the dark and keep suffering.
So.
Let’s go! Fight!
