To be a Childhood Sweetheart that You will Regret for Life – Chapter 363

Chapter: 185. The Unfinished Story, A New Chapter

The reception room of the Special Ring SEMA.

The spotless white walls, the floor covered with shiny white tiles reflecting the white lights from the ceiling, create an icy atmosphere in this predominantly white space.

As Kanade stepped into the reception room, his gaze naturally fell on the only splash of black in this pure white space.

It was Sayaka Hoshimiya in a black formal dress.

However, in Kanade’s view, Sayaka was merely a darker spot in this gray space. Even so, it was glaring enough for Kanade, almost like a reality he was most unwilling to accept.

Sayaka sat quietly at the table, her fingertips caressing the coffee cup in her hands. The liquid inside had long grown cold, yet she seemed indifferent.

The sound of Kanade’s approaching footsteps caused her to lift her head and look at him.

This was their reunion after many years apart.

Sayaka’s dignified and stunning features looked just as he remembered, yet this remarkable beauty that could catch the eye of anyone made Kanade feel an overwhelming emptiness.

Because it brought back memories of a girl who bore a similar resemblance.

With complicated feelings, Kanade pulled out the chair directly opposite Sayaka and sat down.

He didn’t know how to face someone from the Hoshimiya family, for he had been the one to take the life of that girl from them.

“Kanade, you’ve lost weight,” Sayaka said, her voice still gentle and calm, reminiscent of Kanade’s memories.

Today was supposed to be Nagi’s funeral, and he had not attended, yet Sayaka didn’t seem to intend to bring it up at all.

Her comfort felt like a knife twisting in Kanade’s heart.

If she knew he was the one who had taken her beloved younger sister’s life, how would she treat him then? Certainly, she wouldn’t be this gentle anymore, would she? Mocking himself inwardly, Kanade opened his mouth—

“Actually, I…” A hoarse voice escaped Kanade’s lips.

He was startled, almost unaware that it was his own voice.

This was the first time he had spoken since then.

Seeing this, Sayaka gently placed her hand on the back of Kanade’s hand and softly interrupted, “You don’t have to force yourself. If it’s about that matter… Mana has already told me.”

Sayaka’s words made Kanade shiver, but the warmth he felt through his hand was akin to a gentle breeze blowing through his heart, allowing him to remain calm.

“Is this… what the child wished for, right?” Sayaka whispered, “So, I won’t blame you, never—”

“B-but…” At Kanade’s confused gaze, Sayaka withdrew her hand and pulled out a stack of bound notebooks from beneath the table.

In Kanade’s view, this deep gray stack of notebooks was slid across the smooth table to him.

“Perhaps, this thing… is more suitable to stay with you.” As she spoke, Sayaka revealed a reluctant bitter smile, “And this must also be what— that child wished for.”

Before Kanade could ask why with his hoarse throat.

Sayaka had already stood up, seemingly intending not to continue the conversation with him.

“Kanade, goodbye… and if it’s that child, she definitely wouldn’t want to see you with a look like this.” Sayaka gently nodded at Kanade and turned to leave the reception room of Special Ring SEMA.

It was only at that moment.

Kanade noticed that he had been enveloped by a strange power and authority since the beginning. Only after Sayaka walked away did he realize that something felt off— it was a feeling starkly different from the power and authority he had come into contact with.

This realization brought back a flicker of movement in Kanade’s brain, long trapped in despair.

However, in the end, he chose to abandon the thought of reporting this discovery to Special Ring SEMA.

Kanade carefully held the stack of notebooks Sayaka had given him and returned to the empty room.

This was a guest room at Special Ring SEMA, decorated with minimalism, featuring only a bed, a wardrobe, a table, and a chair.

On the table near the window sat the ring that belonged solely to him.

The other half of that ring lay buried alongside its owner.

The room remained unlit.

Kanade had no intention of turning on the lights, as he had never intended to read the contents of these notebooks.

He could guess what they were.

What had once been a source of curiosity for him now appeared in a circumstance he had never expected.

Kanade placed the stack of notebooks on the table and was about to turn around and lie back down on the bed.

But at that instant.

The starry sky outside suddenly seemed to emit a brighter light, with starlight streaming in through the window, illuminating the stack of notebooks on the table. It felt as if even the stars wished for him to open these notebooks—

In the brilliant starlight, the outline of the top half of the stack emerged from the hazy view.

Though Kanade couldn’t see the color of the notebooks at the moment, their simple and unadorned design instantly overlapped with a part of his memories— he recognized this notebook; it was the gift he had given to Nagi on her first stage performance.

A wave of nostalgia accompanied by guilt surged into his heart.

The first gift he had given to Nagi was not only well-utilized by her, but she had even kept it until now. In contrast, he had already forgotten what his first gift from Nagi was, let alone where it was placed.

Kanade placed his hand on the cover of the notebook and gently caressed it.

He didn’t know if it was just his illusion.

But he felt a warmth from the girl’s exclusive diary.

(“—What that child wished for.”)

Sayaka’s words flashed through Kanade’s mind.

Unconsciously.

Kanade had taken a seat in front of the table, with Nagi’s notebook quietly set before him.

He knew that if he opened this diary, there would be no escaping the reality that “Nagi was no longer here,” for that child would surely not wish for anyone, especially him, to see her diary.

(Kanade-kun.)

Her gentle and melodious voice seemed to resonate in his ears.

“… Little Nagi.” Kanade’s throat moved, producing a hoarse sound.

At that moment, the starlight spilling onto the ring inadvertently reflected into Kanade’s eyes.

His gaze instinctively shifted to the silver ring, the light reflected from the ring mirrored the starlight in that girl’s eyes.

This caused Kanade to reach for the ring, gripping it tightly in his hand.

Through this ring, a sudden courage surged from deep within Kanade.

(Kanade-kun is so gentle, are you still thinking about my feelings at this time?)

Nagi’s ethereal phantom seemed to stand beside Kanade, teasing him in a playful tone:

(Let me make an exception this time— let Kanade-kun see the contents inside.)

Under the vast starry sky, Nagi’s semi-transparent arm covered Kanade’s arm, guiding him to place his hand on the notebook before him—

—————–

The contents of the diary began from Nagi’s elementary school days.

But that wasn’t surprising.

Because this notebook was a gift he gave to celebrate Nagi’s successful stage performance in elementary school.

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

Today, Kanade-kun gave me a notebook!

He said seriously, “If you have anything you want to write, just write it in there.”

I don’t really understand, but I’m still very happy.

Since it’s a precious gift from Kanade-kun, I want to write more and more things related to Kanade-kun in this notebook!

Hmm… today’s weather is great, Kanade-kun is also great, so I’m great too.

Something feels off… Oh right, let’s write down the promise we made before~

On the day of kindergarten graduation, Kanade-kun and I promised— “When we grow up, I will definitely marry you!”

The most important promise.

“… That’s not true. Can you please not fabricate things that don’t exist?” Kanade couldn’t help but mutter softly.

(Hey~ Are you going to criticize me in a place like this? How inconsiderate of you, Kanade-kun! It won’t hurt to indulge a child’s dream!!!)

After the influence of Garuda’s storm authority faded away.

Kanade had recalled all his past memories.

So he knew he had never said such words; before he and Nagi reached a “deal,” he had not been such a innocent and naive child, but rather a reticent, unlikable guy.

“A diary meant to be read by me, right?”

(Oh? Have I been exposed? No, cough, cough, Kanade-kun, how could you say that about a girl who doesn’t want her diary to be seen?)

His fingers gently brushed over the paper, flipping to the next page.

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

I watched a horror movie with Kanade-kun; he seemed to really enjoy it.

If I could learn to like horror films too, would our relationship become better?

But it’s so scary… I almost cried.

However, with Kanade-kun beside me, I tried hard to hold back my tears.

Next time, can we watch together again?

“This idiot… don’t you think it’s strange for an elementary school student to like watching gory horror movies?”

(… It is indeed a bit strange~)

Kanade knew this was something he would do; the unlikable version of himself as a child was one who would enthusiastically indulge in bizarre horror films.

Before Nagi had guided him to grow into an ordinary boy, he had been that kind of weirdo who would sit in the dark living room watching 18+ horror films.

“Isn’t it strange to take this as an opportunity to become a horror film child star? Little Nagi, don’t you think it’s strange?”

(Shh, shh~ Huh? Did Kanade-kun just say something?)

Kanade raised the hand gripping the ring to his forehead, supporting his head, while the other hand continued to flip through the diary.

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

Today, the teacher asked everyone to write about their future dreams.

Kanade-kun said he hadn’t thought of one yet.

I didn’t really know what to write either… but if I could become a movie actor, wouldn’t that allow me to act in horror films?

Then I could watch the movie I acted in together with Kanade-kun, right?

That would be so much fun!

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

Kanade-kun’s attention is always drawn to Mana lately.

Although I know she is very cute and popular… I still feel a bit sad.

If I could become a little more beautiful, would Kanade-kun glance at me more?

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

Today during our acting practice, the teacher praised me for being talented.

Kanade-kun also said, “Nagi acted very well.”

Hearing him say that made me so happy.

If I could stand on a bigger stage, wouldn’t Kanade-kun continue watching me?

“Doesn’t a little elementary school girl constantly thinking about her childhood friend sound too infatuated… Little Nagi…?”

(What’s wrong with that?! The most adorable girls talk about “liking” all the time!)

Even though he knew everything was false… upon closer inspection, it was riddled with inconsistencies.

But until an unexpected tear fell onto the yellowing pages.

Kanade only then noticed he was in tears.

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

This morning, I woke up as usual, but Kanade-kun didn’t come to take me to school like he used to.

He’s no longer in this city.

We used to greet each other every day, I had grown accustomed to seeing him every day…

How lonely.

I wonder if Kanade-kun is okay over there?

Is he having trouble?

… Is he… already acquainted with another girl?

Though Kanade-kun promised me he would wait, I’ve heard that boys are fickle creatures—

If Kanade-kun has a girlfriend… No, no, don’t think any further!

But still, I can’t help but be afraid…

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

I heard this year’s fireworks festival in Kawano City is larger than in previous years, with a new firework artist making an appearance.

I wish I could go see it with Kanade-kun.

When we were young, we went to see the fireworks festival together, right?

Although I can’t remember the details of that day, I remember Kanade-kun holding my hand, afraid I would get lost in the crowd.

His profile while watching the fireworks, illuminated by the flames, was especially handsome…

If I could go again with Kanade-kun, this year’s fireworks would surely be more splendid than ever, right?

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

Today, I became a high school student.

The moment I put on my high school uniform, I wanted Kanade-kun to see it right away.

If it’s Kanade-kun, he will definitely compliment me by saying, “You’re so cute!”

After all, when I first became a middle school student, he earnestly praised me.

Just imagining his praise made my face unavoidably turn red.

But I also really want to see Kanade-kun…

I wonder what he looks like in his high school uniform now?

He must look really handsome, right?

It would be great if I could stand next to him and go to school together.

But now, he isn’t here.

This fact truly makes me a bit sad.

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

Winter is approaching, and it seems this year will be colder than usual.

If it snows, then I could build a snowman with Kanade-kun, right?

Ah… Kanade-kun isn’t in Kawano City anymore… he used to build snowmen with me each year.

I wonder if Kanade-kun will receive a gift this Christmas. If I knitted him a towel and offered it to him, would he be happy?

This winter feels colder than ever, could it be because Kanade-kun isn’t by my side?

【▍▍▍▍ Year ▍▍ Month ▍▍ Day】

Soon, I’ll be going to the school Kanade-kun attends.

Finally, finally, I’ll get to see Kanade-kun again!

Just thinking about it makes my heart feel so light.

… But, will Kanade-kun remember me?

After such a long time apart, will he have forgotten me?

What if when we meet again, he just greets me politely… what should I do?

How should I face him?

Should I act like nothing has changed as before? Or pretend to be more mature?

So conflicted, so nervous…

But no matter what, I’m really looking forward to seeing Kanade-kun again.

That’s right.

This is not a diary at all.

Just as Nagi’s final apology stated— this is something left behind to evoke anger and obsession.

I’ve long known that this is merely a tool meant to manipulate my emotions…

However—

How I wish this were true.

I wish that Nagi was indeed just an ordinary girl as recorded in the diary, and not some elemental sovereign, nor a protagonist or savior, unconnected to the fate of this world.

What is recorded here is not Nagi’s past.

But her longing for the future.

Somewhere deep within her soul, there has always been a yearning for such days, naively believing that if she penned it down, it could come true, that even if she could not experience such normality in her lifetime, the diary could annotate her life after she passed— even a life she could never experience while alive could become a reality upon her death.

The lies recorded in the notebooks were indeed beautiful, and the reality for this girl was all the more cruel.

This was a wish Nagi knew she could never fulfill in her lifetime, but if after her death, these words were seen by me, then her tragic life could have a perfect ending.

Just like the messages carved into stones to relay to the future, this was Nagi’s self-crafted happy ending.

But I extinguished even her little hope.

She left this world, not as the ordinary girl she wished to be.

All because of me; she was still the savior crushed by a cruel reality, even at the moment she departed from this world.

“I’m sorry… Little Nagi… I’m sorry that in the end, I still disappointed you…”

Thump— thump—

The premonition of awakening reverberated throughout the space.

In Kanade’s golden eyes, the pupils ignited with a jet-black flame.

At the same time, everything in the room seemed to become intangible.

The table in front of Kanade and the chair he sat in gradually turned transparent, non-overlapping lines floated around their outlines.

The specter of Nagi, who had always existed beside Kanade, seemed to become real at that moment—

Only at this moment did Kanade realize this was no fantasy; this was the “Retrocausation” bestowed by the Box of Kaora upon himself, akin to the silver blades of “Retrocausation” time and time again. He yearned to see Nagi once more, subconsciously recognizing her as his “possession,” and if it was something he owned, he could “retrocausate” it to be by his side, to be with him forever.

“No, no, no! You’re not Nagi!!!” Kanade shouted at the shadow of Nagi.

He would not accept this was Nagi.

He couldn’t accept this was Nagi.

Nagi was not a mere illusion existing in his cognition; she was a real being with her own dreams and hobbies.

Absolutely not this ethereal phantom!!!

Kanade’s will made Nagi’s apparition instantly vanish, while the notebook on the table and the sitting Kanade were at that moment rendered unrecognizable by the table and chair, directly falling to the ground— Kanade knelt before the open diary.

The ring tightly gripped in Kanade’s hand dug into his palm, blood seeping through, dripping onto the pages of the diary.

In that instant, the words written by Nagi were drenched in vivid blood—

【As long as I stay with Kanade-kun—

Staying by ▍▍’s side, nothing is to be feared】

“…” Kanade stared blankly at the smudge of words now obscured.

In his colorless view, this drop of blood was like a drop of ink, completely “rewriting” the content of the diary.

“Rewrite…”

Kanade gazed at the smeared writing, thoughts of what is known as the Book of Futures surfaced in his mind, messages crossing from the future to the past.

It seemed he realized something, murmuring softly.

Tick-tock— tick-tock—

The familiar sound echoed in the depths of Kanade’s soul.

【Warning】

【Rewriting the world line will invoke singularity】

【Warning】【Warning】【Warning】

Rarely, the Box of Kaora breached the white space, incessantly warning Kanade.

I want to rewrite, I want to cover, I want—

「Reverse▍▍」☆

「Reverse▍▍」☆

「Reverse▍▍」☆

The massive sound of his heartbeat resonated as if in harmony with the world.

New crystal pointers were shaped in Kanade’s soul. Along with the number of times Kanade had already used it, there were a total of 13 crystal pointers.

That was the thirteenth pointer not belonging to a clock, seemingly representing a world that shouldn’t exist—

【Warning】【Warning】【Warning】

【Rewriting▍▍▍▍ will invoke▍▍▍▍▍▍singularity】

I want to rewrite all of this, reset the collapsing possibilities? Who cares about those? If this is the so-called rule, then I will rewrite everything, including the rules. Regardless of the future and the present, I will completely cover everything as I wish—

“Kanade! What’s happening?!” A frantic voice from outside the door belonged to Kurokawa.

Evidently, Kanade’s second awakening had plunged the entire Special Ring SEMA into panic.

Upon hearing his voice, Kanade retracted his rampaging power in an instant; everything that had been rendered intangible in the room regained its form, reverting to being “part of this world.”

Only the diary that had fallen on the floor and the words covered in blood remained unchanged, as if the diary had always been in this state.

Kanade slowly stood up and opened the door behind him.

Outside stood a frightened Kurokawa, along with Nyarlathotep, who had revealed his true form behind him.

Before Kurokawa could speak.

Kanade coldly asked first, “Mr. Kurokawa, I would like to ask you some questions—”

“What?”

“About Special Ring SEMA and the protagonist plans of the three major academies, how much do you know?”

The three major academies had all once planned to resurrect the elemental sovereign; if they could “revive” the elemental sovereign, then I could too—

In the center of Kanade’s golden eyes, the black flames ignited everything in sight.

—————–

—————–

A space that does not belong to any world line.

Nonexistent in any time and space.

This is the “one and only” existing realm.

The only throne stands in the void, where light and shadow intertwine beyond the world lines.

This is the one and only existence independent of endless possibilities.

The black-haired boy sitting on the throne seemed to sense something and slowly lifted his head, from his opened eyes, an exceedingly brilliant golden light burst forth.

“Is it coming again?”

He rose slowly, beneath his feet lay an endlessly expanding circular tree diagram.

As he moved, dark flames erupted from beneath him.

“Unrelenting me… once again planning to rewrite in pursuit of the ending I can never achieve?”

The black-haired boy lightly waved his right arm, a vibrantly glowing blade formed instantaneously from his arm— the Blade of Life.

“Is it time to work again… everyone, I’ll be back soon.”

The black-haired boy turned his back on the lonely throne and walked toward a grand and majestic door before him.

This is the complete form of the Box of Kaora, a space beyond countless world lines.

And here stands the collective of all “Tsukimi Kanade” entities from countless possibilities, wielding all rewriting directions and abilities, the sovereign of all world lines—

The one and only— Tsukimi Kanade.

In the player community of “Star Pull 2,” he was referred to as— “Kanade-nii.”

—————–

No one knows how many springs and autumns have passed.

On a night adorned with brilliant starlight.

The silver-white starlight traced back over the tranquil cemetery beneath.

A shadow in a black dress descended elegantly from the sky.

The sky she turned her back to— purple-black stars hung high in the shattered night sky.

“My sleeping beauty, the holiday is over~”

The End of Shadows Nagi strolled toward a quiet corner of the cemetery, finally stopping in front of a neatly maintained gravestone, atop which lay a still-fresh bouquet, indicating someone had visited this grave not long ago.

The gravestone, made of deep gray granite, bore the name of the deceased clearly— Tsukimi Nagi.

The End of Shadows Nagi smiled and half-knelt, placing another bouquet of purple flowers on the grave.

“He’s coming, this world cannot stop him—”

“We need you, father, mother, the great creator—”

“Only you, who doesn’t belong to this world, can stop him from denying this world—”

The End of Shadows Nagi closed her eyes, praying before the gravestone like a humble pilgrim.

“This is our last chance to save this world—”

“We cannot let this world line fall into nothingness—”

“One more time, together with me, let’s save this world, My esteemed creator.”

Upon finishing her words.

The End of Shadows Nagi opened her eyes, the purple-black starlight bursting with brilliant light within them.

She then gently placed her hands on the ground, pouring a vast amount of magic through the earth, infusing the coffin beneath the gravestone— pure magic activated the influence of authority still present in that girl, the power of Hydra, for just before Nagi’s demise, she had one last chance for “restoration” to return to her original body.

At this moment, the last “restoration” was activated.

The deceased body restored in a form beyond imagination, and the soul residing within that body— at the call of the purple-black stars, countless starlights fell from the shattered starry sky into the grave.

This was precisely why the End of Shadows Nagi had previously willingly killed Nagi to fulfill her lifelong plan.

The true savior was destined not to die so simply because her mission in this world was still incomplete; fate would not allow her to perish completely. All the details seemed to be arranged by an invisible hand.

“Welcome back, Tsukimi Nagi.”

“Your world needs you—”

The unfinished story opens a new chapter at this moment.

To be a Childhood Sweetheart that You will Regret for Life

To be a Childhood Sweetheart that You will Regret for Life

只想成为让你抱憾终身的青梅竹马
Score 8.6
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024 Native Language: Chinese
I was once reborn as the protagonist of a crappy galgame, only to meet my end by overworking myself to death trying to save the world. But when I opened my eyes again, I found myself reincarnated once more—this time as the female protagonist in the sequel. Determined not to become a wage s*ave again, my familiars, who shared my disdain for working overtime, came up with a cunning plan. By becoming the childhood sweetheart of the original male protagonist, creating perfect memories together, and deepening our bond through our youth, I could turn him into someone who couldn’t imagine living in a world without me… Familiars: Now, for the final step. On the night of his proposal, when the ring is slipped onto your finger, a monster will appear and tear you apart before his very eyes. This will surely leave him with a lifetime of regret. Nagine: ??? Congratulations. You’ve created the strongest protagonist, who will now ruthlessly eradicate all evil.

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