The Shepherds Are Dense – Chapter 934

Chapter 933
I Love You, As Always
“Why?”

Eivass hesitated, offering no reply.

Yulia pondered for a moment before her face lit up with a bright smile. She patted her lap as she sat on the ground, signaling Eivass to lie down. “Brother has answered so many of my questions… so let me listen to your troubles. Perhaps I can help answer them too!”

Instantly, Eivass was momentarily stunned.

It wasn’t because of Yulia’s invitation for him to rest his head on her lap…

But because he suddenly realized that his recent melancholy and hesitation might, in a sense, be meaningless.

—The theme of this World is “self-separation.”

Hengwo had separated himself ten times, the Crown Lord, the Supreme Heaven, and the Great Philosopher had all undergone severing. The power Samsara Heavenly Envoy initially cut off became Amber, the many snake tails cut off by Ring Heavenly Envoy became his current self, and Fallen Heavenly Envoy was also a part severed by Lucifer. Not to mention Pillar Gods like the Hourglass, which could aid in such severing…

Fundamentally, it was because the Origin River was absolutely pure.

To become a Pillar God, the only path was to purify oneself to a state of purity. And the safest and most mature method was self-separation.

And once one pondered the philosophy of self-separation, the enigma of “What am I?” became an unavoidable topic.

Samsara Heavenly Envoy, Ring Heavenly Envoy, “Snake,” Shepherd, Ai Shiping, Eivass, Alistair… their essence might be the same, yet they were also absolutely different from each other.

If one couldn’t find what the true self was, it would merely be self-negation and self-struggle.

But at this moment, the words of the Lord of Scales and Feathers resurfaced in Eivass’s mind:

“—You come from another world, don’t you… This is your biggest secret.
—You haven’t told anyone this secret. Neither Isabel nor Yulia. Because in your memory, this world is merely a game… and you are not ‘Eivass Moriarty.’
—But is that really the case?”

…Right.

Eivass’s eyes widened slightly.

Come to think of it, why had he never shared this secret with them?

The answer was obvious—because Eivass worried that once he spoke it, their relationship would no longer be pure. They might think Eivass wasn’t the real Eivass, and might even grow distant because of it…

Both Yulia and Isabel were Eivass’s important ties in this World. He couldn’t bear the possibility of losing them—even just a possibility.

Therefore, he subconsciously chose to conceal it. He had not even considered “whether he should conceal it”…

And now, this question had surfaced from the lake of his heart.

Those words were self-evident—

“…If, I’m just saying, if… Yulia.”

Eivass asked softly, “Suppose… I have memories from another world, which allow me to predict the future to a certain extent. That’s why I could become the admirable person I am today… How would you see me?”

Yulia looked steadily at Eivass, then suddenly smiled. “No wonder… I understand. It’s from… the day you brought back the Shadow Demon, right? That ability to turn Tarot Cards into extraordinary items also came from then, didn’t it?”

“…No wonder what?”

Eivass replied calmly, his face expressionless, “This is just a ‘suppose.'”

But at this moment, his heart was pounding so fast.

Yet Yulia simply said lightly, “What are you worried about, brother?”

—The moment she called him “brother,” Eivass felt as if he were basking in the warm sun in the winter.

Yulia covered her mouth with her hand, squinted, and chuckled, “You don’t worry… that I’ll think you’re an outsider who stole my brother? Or, that I’ll cry and ask you to give him back to me? I’d be the one who’s sad if you thought that.
—My brother actually thinks I wouldn’t recognize the family member I love most in this world… Fortunately, you asked me. If you had asked Isabel instead, she might have cried.”

This was a playfulness and aggressiveness that Yulia had never shown Eivass before.

All along, when she was with Eivass, Yulia had always appeared soft and cuddly, needing protection, like a well-behaved child. She would always show a sweet smile, like a smiling angel, a cute little dumpling.

However, when Yulia spoke these “out-of-character” words, Eivass didn’t feel unfamiliar or out of place.

Because Eivass also knew that Yulia simultaneously possessed strong self-esteem, and was stubborn and tenacious. Even among strangers, she would sometimes display strong aggression… She even wanted to become a Heavenly Envoy.

But Eivass didn’t bind this impression to the Yulia he knew.

…Wait?

Come to think of it…

Eivass was startled, then suddenly realized something.

Seeing this, Yulia also smiled gently.

At this moment, she was yet another unfamiliar guise that Eivass had never seen.

She got up from the ground, patted the dust off her butt. She walked over briskly, stood on tiptoe, and reached out to stroke Eivass’s head.

She no longer used such aggressive words, and her voice returned to a gentle tone, but her demeanor was still much more mature than before. “See, brother. People pretend. They make themselves a little better in front of those they care about, whether it’s their personality or their self, it could all be a pretense… Even important family members are like that, they don’t have zero secrets.
Even I always hide some things from you, and don’t want you to see certain things…
But when I truly show this side, you don’t get surprised by it. Would you dislike me or think I’m not Yulia, but a monster occupying your sister’s shell, just because I’m not always as cute in front of you?” asked Yulia.

“…Of course not,” Eivass whispered.

“Me neither, brother,” Yulia said seriously, a brilliant smile on her face.

“No matter what you become, or what memories you obtain… I will never mistake you. You are my brother, you are the real ‘Eivass.’ Everything you do is what the Eivass in my heart would do.”

What Yulia was referring to was the “Eivass” she met at the Orphanage, not “Eivass Moriarty.”

—That was the Eivass she truly knew.

“I also believe, brother, that even if you have memories of the future, you won’t do anything bad. You must be trying to save everything around you… even me, right?”

Yulia sat on the ground and said leisurely, “That Mystical Art that saved me from the fate of the ‘Phantom Demon Egg,’ I just never asked… but I didn’t forget. That ability came from those memories from another world, right?
Since that is a power used to save others—I believe it must be right.”

She spread her hands, smiling calmly as Eivass had once comforted her, and openly asked for a hug. “If you’re still worried, come and hug me.”

In that instant, Eivass felt as if he saw another version of himself through Yulia.

What he saw was the Eivass before “awakening past life memories.”

Eivass looked at his past self, but felt no sense of estrangement or distance.

—Undoubtedly, that was the “true self.”

The hesitation in his heart instantly dissipated.

Whether he was Ai Shiping, Ring Heavenly Envoy, or a穿越者; whether he was a real existence, a created tool, a mere afterimage, or a key… it didn’t matter.

He was Eivass.

He was Yulia’s brother, Isabel’s husband, Edward’s younger brother, Sherlock’s unreliable friend, Lily’s Master, Alistair’s other half… He was the Prince of Avalon, the Pope of the Elves.

—No matter what he “used to” be, he was now the “Eivass” in the eyes of these people.

The real Eivass had already been born.

In the love of people.

Seeing Eivass still standing frozen, unmoving, Yulia took a step forward and hugged him tightly.

It was a heat as intense as fire, causing Eivass’s heart to feel another heartbeat.

“I love you, brother,” Yulia whispered into Eivass’s ear, looking up. “As always.”

(End of Chapter)