Chapter 33.3 The Urban Legend of the “Eavesdropper (Advanced)”
The Urban Legend of the “Eavesdropper (Advanced)”:
During the Qingming Festival holiday, I arranged to go shopping with Hua and Ying.
Shopping was secondary, though. The main purpose was to comfort Hua and help her shake off her messy thoughts so she could relax.
However, Hua, who was supposed to be the protagonist of this outing, looked rather glum.
Previously, Hua loved shopping and would always buy many trendy clothes. Being sensitive to fashion, she always dressed up vibrantly.
But today, she spent most of the time staring into space. When I called her, she’d only respond blankly.
What was wrong?
She’d been like this since Friday. Was it really because her confession failed and she’s been downcast… Hmm, what could I do to cheer her up? Should I just invite Juncheng An out?
“Uh, uh, you guys walk slower… I can’t keep up…”
“Honestly, you can’t even handle this much walking. Your body is really frail!”
I was trying to think of ways to cheer Hua up, and you, don’t make things worse, okay!
“It was you, the tomboy, who insisted on dragging me out… Besides, there’s no man who finds shopping with a girl easy!”
“Hmph, what’s there to complain about when you’re accompanying two beautiful girls?”
“You guys just want me as a porter, right!”
“Tch, look at your scrawny little frame. You’ve gotten as thin as a rake from staying home all the time! It’s good to carry things for us and also get some exercise, isn’t it?”
“I’d rather stay home and play games…”
“That’s why you don’t have a girlfriend!”
“It’s none of your business! Busybody!”
“You say what!”
In a fit of rage, I grabbed A Liang by the collar and shook him violently back and forth.
He flusteredly adjusted his glasses, opened his mouth wide, and yelled.
“Waaaaah! Let me go! You crazy woman! Violent girl! Dino girl! Waaaaaaaah! Stop shaking me! I’m, I’m going to throw up… Ugh, *cough*…”
“Throw up your sister!”
Without thinking, I grabbed a wad of tissues from my bag and stuffed it into his mouth.
“Let’s see you throw up now!”
As a result, A Liang pointed at his mouth, making muffled sounds with an expression that was about to break into tears.
It was so funny, like a mute.
“Mmm! Mmm mmm mmm mm!”
Hmm? Why is he looking at me like that? What is he pointing at? Following the direction he was pointing, I looked into my bag… and found that the tissue was still in the bag.
Huh? Then what did I stuff into A Liang’s mouth… was it a sanitary pad?!
Yaaaaaaah!
“Spit it out quickly! You pervert!”
I sharply brought my hand down on his neck, dislodging the sanitary pad stuck in his throat.
“Cough! Cough, cough, cough, cough! *Cough*… Ugh… *Ptooey*…”
After coughing violently a few times, A Liang spat out the sanitary pad from his mouth, crying and rubbing his neck as he yelled.
He wasn’t really crying; those were just tears squeezed out during his retching.
“Wow! Are you being unreasonable now! You’re the one who stuffed it in, uh… this isn’t used, is it…”
“No! It! Is! Not! Used!”
How could I have a used sanitary pad in my bag! Don’t you even think, you idiot! And you actually *hope* it was used! Pervert! Pervert! Damn pervert!
“Nnngh… I’m… gonna… die…”
This is so infuriating! It’s all your fault, you skinny shut-in!
All you do is stay home and play games, even talking about aspiring to be like the “God of Strategy” and conquer the female leads of all dating sims… Are you sick! And seriously sick!
A living girl is right beside you, and you want to conquer virtual girls?!
Besides, the God of Strategy you worship also conquers real-life girls, right? Can’t you learn that much!
Can’t you put more effort into me! You dense idiot!
You’re so sensitive about others’ affairs, even playing matchmaker for several couples, so why can’t you consider yourself first!
You even claim to be an FFF member, never betraying your companions… Are you an idiot!
What’s even in your head! Do you think staying a virgin until thirty will grant you true magic! Let me tell you! It’s completely impossible!
If you want to learn magic so badly, why don’t you just go find that dim-witted idiot Mengfa! Though you might end up being an idiot too after you learn…
I can’t say any of this to him.
So, I can only silently roar in my heart.
“Um, Sakura, I think A Liang is about to keel over…”
“Hm?”
When I came to my senses, I realized A Liang was already twitching with his head askew, frothing at the mouth like a salted fish.
I quickly slapped him a couple of times, pulling him back from the brink of death.
A moment later, a recovered A Liang, rubbing his neck, glared at me and said.
“One day, this violent girl will be the death of me…”
“Hmph! That would be your good fortune!”
Sigh… Why do I always end up speaking to him in such a harsh tone…
When it comes to love, Hua and I are pretty much the same…
“Ahaha… you guys really get along.”
Seeing us bickering, Hua suddenly laughed.
This was the first time she’d laughed today.
“No, no, no, I only get along with you, Lan. As f<0xE1><0xB5><0xA3>r that dinosaur girl, we don’t just not get along, our relationship is as bad as it gets! You saw it just now, right? She almost killed me!”
“Heh heh, I’m actually envious of you. Even when you’re arguing… no one can interfere between you two.”
Hua smiled a little lonely, and A Liang pushed up his glasses and fell silent. The atmosphere felt a bit awkward, so I quickly changed the subject and said to A Liang.
“Having two beautiful childhood friends like us is a blessing from your past life!”
“Yes, yes, yes…”
Hmph, saying it so perfunctorily, he really deserves a beating.
However, Hua’s mood seemed to have improved a lot, so I’ll take advantage of this momentum and tell them some interesting stories I’ve ‘overheard’!
And so, I pulled Hua and A Liang into a cafe, ordered a pot of fruit tea, and prepared to tell them stories like a storyteller.
Storytelling sessions like this have been happening countless times since we were kids. I’m the storyteller, and they are the audience. We’ve never repeated a story; if compiled, it could fill several books. My storytelling skills have definitely improved.
If they asked me to perform stand-up comedy in public, I could probably do it vividly, *heh~*
I took off my earphones and hung them around my neck, beginning my usual opening.
“A quick disclaimer: these are all stories I’ve heard from others, urban legends based on hearsay. While they have some credibility, you can’t believe them entirely?”
“Ah, you always act all mysterious… Don’t keep us in suspense, just tell it.”
“Don’t interrupt! I’m about to start!”
After flicking A Liang on the head, I cleared my throat and began today’s story.
“Today’s theme is… Urban Legends!”
Hua seemed a little interested and asked cooperatively.
“Urban legends?”
“Yes, urban legends!”
I said proudly in a refreshing voice.
“Did you know? This city is full of all sorts of urban legends?”
“For example? Like a headless rider in a black jacket on a black motorcycle with cat-ear helmet roaming the night?”
“I told you not to interrupt! Don’t mix anime with reality!”
“Tch… they’re all fake anyway…”
“Hmph, the urban legends I’m going to tell this time have all been documented!”
“Oh?”
Heheh, all these are urban legends I’ve pieced together from eavesdropping on the conversations of those guys in class. Nine times out of ten, they’re real!
“Yes, the urban legends I’m going to talk about this time are quite extensive and varied. They might even become a long-running serialized story, so I plan to classify them and tell them bit by bit.”
The amount of information contained in the conversations of those guys in class is no joke. It took me a lot of effort to sort out the cause and effect of the events from their conversations and summarize them.
Thanks to that, my story bag, which was almost empty, is now full again.
So, let’s start with ‘locations’ today~
“Today, I’m going to talk about unknown mysterious places hidden in the city!”
“Mysterious places?”
“Um… have you guys heard of ‘Black Street’?”
“Black Street refers to lawless areas, right? SAVAGE STREET, that’s the translation, meaning streets where the law doesn’t reach, filled with violence and organized crime.”
A Liang scratched his nose and said confidently.
Oh? The shut-in is showing off his useless trivia? Heh heh, too bad, you guessed wrong!
“Unfortunately, that’s not it~”
“Huh?”
“The full English name of that street is BLACK TECH STREET. The real meaning is ‘Black Technology Street’, short for ‘Black Street’.”
“Huh?! What the heck is that!”
A Liang’s jaw dropped, and he let out a strange cry, while Hua more rationally asked.
“So, how is this street different from ordinary streets?”
Here we go, Hua’s interest is piqued by me~
“The most magical thing about this street is… it connects all corners of the city!”
“Isn’t that Doraemon’s Anywhere Door…”
“Not quite. The Anywhere Door can be used anytime, but with Black Street… it’s all about fate. Because you have no idea where its true location is!”
After hearing my explanation, A Liang rolled his eyes and retorted.
“What’s the point! After all that, it’s just a street that doesn’t exist!”
“No, Black Street might be a real street! In fact, quite a few people have already been there!”
“Hmm, that doesn’t add up, Sakura. If people have really been to Black Street, why don’t they know its exact location?”
“Well… that brings us to a group of people.”
I deliberately played coy, slowly finished the fruit tea in my cup, and then continued.
“Legend has it that there’s a group of people in the city who can play any role for money. And they play it so flawlessly that ordinary people can’t tell the difference!”
“What kind of legend is this… Aren’t they just extras…”
“No, no, those actors aren’t filming; they’re just acting.”
“What’s the difference…”
“The difference is… ‘acting for whom’?”
“Uh…?”
“Now for the main point. I heard that all the pedestrians in Black Street are played by this group of people.”
“What!”
“Hehehe, scared you, right? That’s why people who accidentally wander into Black Street don’t feel anything strange, because they themselves don’t know they’ve entered ‘Black Street’! They just think it’s an ordinary street! Then, when they exit Black Street and arrive at another end of the city, they realize, ah, so I just passed through Black Street!”
“Wow, this…”
“So, no one knows where Black Street is… How is it? Interesting, right~”
“Hmm… It’s so boring.”
“What! How dare you say my story is boring!”
“No, I mean the guy who created this street is boring! It’s pointless! Hiring so many people as extras, is that necessary?”
“Well… Hmm, existence is reasonable. There’s always a reason for its existence~”
As for what Black Street is used for, I don’t know either. I haven’t heard anything about its purpose.
Anyway, my story ends here.
