Chapter 31: Breakdown and Care
“Zihua,” a name I’d never heard before, but the style of the name felt very much like “Daohua.”
Her expression was incredibly stiff, not like her usual self at all.
I looked around, but I couldn’t see anyone. Yet Lanhua continued to stare into emptiness. This wasn’t the usual Lanhua.
“Why do you always show up out of nowhere and say such things! Why, why do you have to appear at a time like this! Why do you have to use that face! Please, just disappear!”
Her hysterical scream was a complete release of her rejection.
…Who was she talking to?
“Lanhua?”
I looked at her and asked, and she seemed to snap back to reality, realizing her outburst. She covered her face with one hand and said,
“…I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“What’s gotten into me? It was such a good opportunity.”
She apologized to me with guilt-ridden eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. Then she began to cry her heart out.
I didn’t know what had happened, but seeing a girl cry, there was only one thing to do.
I tentatively wiped away her tears and hugged Lanhua, patting her back to comfort her.
I reached out to caress her cheek and wiped her tears,
“There, there, don’t cry, don’t cry… You’ve been sweating so much, and now you’re crying. It must be uncomfortable.”
I also wiped my own body. I was drenched by Lanhua’s saliva. My clothes were even more soaked than hers, a large part of them…
As for my pants, there was no helping it. Not only did I need to change into a new pair, but Lanhua also needed to be changed. Her pants were completely soaked.
The wet marks… Her pants, which she had taken off (actually mine), were still there.
In short, Lanhua seemed to have completely broken down mentally. No matter what I did, she didn’t react. It was as if her spirit had left her body.
Because I already had experience taking care of Xueqing, I didn’t find it too difficult.
But I couldn’t change her pants for her.
If I helped Lanhua change her pants, I would have to help her take off her underwear. I couldn’t guarantee that either she or I wouldn’t lose control. Of course, if we both lost control, it would be even worse.
“Here, change into these pants first? Just put the clothes you take off in the washing machine.”
Lanhua nodded blankly, took the pants I gave her, and started changing right there.
Ah… forget it.
I quickly walked out of the bathroom first. As I closed the door, I caught a glimpse of her wet underwear.
“Humph, see no evil.”
I leaned against the bathroom door, holding the towel, and contemplated the reason for Lanhua’s sudden change in temper.
From the name she shouted, it seemed to be directed at someone called [Zihua].
It seemed to be anger directed at someone; from the name she shouted…
After a while, I heard Lanhua talking to herself inside again.
“Why! Why could you say such a thing!”
“No… I didn’t… Shut up, you…!”
“Huh? What happened again?”
I frowned and opened the bathroom door. I saw Lanhua curled up on the floor, only her pants half off.
She seemed to be crying again, and I could hear faint sobs.
“Lanhua! Lanhua! What’s wrong?!”
I called her name, but she didn’t respond. It was the first time she had ever ignored me. No matter when or where I called her name, she would always respond.
But now, in front of me, she was actually ignoring me.
What kind of blow had she suffered to become like this? Was it that person named Zihua?!
This is…
Lanhua was crying again, her whole body trembling.
This… I couldn’t help her.
I gently put her in the bathtub and then threw her clothes into the washing machine, selecting a quick wash, set for thirty minutes.
Then I picked up her clothes, along with my pants, and put them in the washing machine.
I quickly went back to my room and changed into a new pair of pants.
…She didn’t seem to be “acting out” anymore, so now was the time to…
I wrapped her in a bath towel and started to dry her.
After washing Lanhua’s hair, I pulled her out of the tub. My mind was in a daze as I picked up the towel.
The soft touch and the shy moans, intended or not, were torturing my spirit.
My heart skipped a beat like an electrocardiogram.
It was simply torment.
My mind was on the verge of collapse, so I tried to recite the Heart Sutra silently. It had an unexpectedly good effect. The fire in my heart was extinguished, and my mind was as calm as still water.
Speaking of which, I used to mock people who had a sister complex, calling them perverts. I never thought I would be able to do this.
After this, I would have to dress her. I tried to put on my pants, but they were too big for her.
They were too loose. My clothes were the same. Zi’ai, who was the same height as me, could wear them, but Lanhua…
Half of her body was exposed. In a panic, I directly pulled out a clean cotton underwear and a thicker pajama dress from Lanhua’s closet and put them on her first.
I didn’t know how to put a bra on her, and Xinran and Lanhua’s cup sizes were…
Anyway, the pajama dress covered most of it, so the revealing parts and the underwear wouldn’t be very visible. Some of these were a bit too much.
These pajamas were too short for her. Although I understood that girls liked pretty, cute, and fancy things, wearing them on a young girl was simply a crime!
…Could it be that they were meant to seduce me?
It seems I can’t relax just because they’ve been well-behaved lately. I can’t relax at all.
After dressing Lanhua, I carried her out of Xinran’s room again and back to my own room.
I covered her with my quilt, and finally, all my actions were complete. I had successfully managed the incapacitated Lanhua.
My mind was confused. Should I say I finally got her settled? That still didn’t feel right. Ah, whatever.
I couldn’t even be bothered to think about it.
It felt like I had done a lot of strenuous physical labor. I was exhausted.
But the biggest exhaustion was mental. Reflecting on what I had just done:
“Ahhhhhh!”
What have I done!
These actions were not excessive at all. I was hopeless!
Only a pervert could feel good about doing such things.
“I’m sorry, Zi’ai! It’s not that I don’t want to be confident.”
“I’ll kneel and apologize to Xinran later.”
I hope she doesn’t ask for too much…
There were still two exams tomorrow. It seemed unrealistic for me to keep her here. It seemed like she could only sleep in my bed tonight.
I glanced at the time. It was almost 11:30.
Sitting on the chair, I leaned back and let out a long sigh. She was now lying on my bed.
It seems I had achieved something incredible in these two days when the whole family was out.
Suddenly, I remembered Xinran’s parting words: “Don’t let any strange women into the house.” And the smiling face of Lianbing flashed in my mind.
I suddenly felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff.
No matter how understanding Lianbing was, constantly adding members to the harem would only make her more unstable.
And now I had touched and kissed Lanhua. The only thing left was to… but going to… Lanhua now would be too insane.
After all, if Lianbing found out about this, it wouldn’t be a joke.
It’s not that I’m afraid of my wife, because this is a predictable BAD END!
She was no longer the “Killing Goddess” of the West. She was now the “Witch of Calamity,” capable of controlling death.
If that power went berserk, everyone, including me, would be dragged into her “dark abyss.”
“…Sorry to have troubled you.”
“Oh, are you feeling better?” Lanhua said.
“…I was… but Youcheng suddenly looked at me like this. Oh, it felt…”
Lanhua blushed and covered half her face with the quilt.
“…It felt like facing Ruansui.”
“I’m not exactly living right now…”
“Ah, Ruansui, I miss you… I’m living so well right now… Ah, right now…”
“It’s okay. Since you’ve perked up, tell me?”
I moved to her bedside, leaned down, and asked her seriously.
“What exactly happened?”
“…Youcheng, I might be… schizophrenic…”
“…Schizophrenic? I did consider that possibility when I heard the name ‘Zihua’, but…”
“Are you saying you might have schizophrenia too? Like Lianbing. But you can actually see her?”
I had never heard of schizophrenia allowing someone to see another self in reality. I had only heard Lianbing say that her communication with Ruansui was in her consciousness.
It seemed too strange.
“…I can really see her. Youcheng, can you see her?”
“Is that the ‘Zihua’ you were talking about?”
“She’s right behind you, with her hands… embracing me.”
My heart lurched, and I sprang up like a coiled spring, turning around sharply.
I couldn’t even feel anything.
I looked around my room again, but I still couldn’t see anyone.
She said she was embracing me, but I felt nothing.
It seems to be a split personality or an illusion created by Lanhua.
Even I, who possessed the Yata no Kagami, couldn’t see or touch this existence.
It’s not possible that Lanhua was acting, right?
She was crying so hard… it didn’t seem like acting. And the status bar showed that her emotions were real.
I brushed aside Lanhua’s wet hair. I should have blown dry her hair; it must be uncomfortable.
Lanhua nuzzled my hand and smiled.
Now I should be able to ask.
“What did she say? To make you so sad?”
Lanhua, her emotions having stabilized, slowly recounted.
“…She’s mocking me… She wants me to do something terrible to you, Youcheng… It really was a terrible, terrible thing… But in my heart, I had the urge to do it… Under the self-loathing, I became a little out of control.”
“She also told me that my other self would disappear… She also told me that now is the best chance to take your virginity…
“Right, Youcheng, that…
But I wasted it.
“That was a great chance… Yes, it was indeed the best chance.”
“Hmm? Zi’ai disappearing… No, it’s not like that. No…”
She’s a split personality, not a real person! Unlike Lianbing and Ruansui, who are in special circumstances.
Wait, didn’t I discover this because she actually saw me acting out, when I was talking about…
…It seems the situation is a bit complicated.
“I love you, Youcheng. I miss you. I love you. It’s not her. No!”
“I just don’t want to be her puppet. It’s me who likes you. It’s her! It’s not her!”
Lanhua became agitated again, tightly gripping the edge of the quilt and gritting her teeth.
“This feeling belongs to me. What do you say, Youcheng? …It’s not her, right?”
…So that’s how it is.
It’s different from Lianbing and Ruansui. Ruansui was split from Lianbing, so although she rejected her, she didn’t fear her. The dominant position was still Lianbing. But Zihua’s appearance was not due to Lanhua’s own emotions; it was sudden and without warning.
Anyone would be troubled to see another self. It’s rare to get along as harmoniously as Zi’ai and I.
As I said before, most people would feel repulsed when they see another self, and Lanhua is probably like that. She’s been in a daze for the past few days because of this.
…She must have encountered herself, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience. It must have been both troubling and confusing.
Unlike my encounter with Zi’ai.
It made her uneasy.
That sense of loneliness that couldn’t be shared with anyone.
“Of course, you are you, and I can only see you, Lanhua.”
I stroked her head and continued. “You must be tired. Go to sleep. Don’t think too much. I’m here with you now. Be at ease.”
I leaned down and kissed her forehead, then lightly pecked her lips.
I shouldn’t have done this normally, but today, I’ll be a little gentler with her.
“…You…”
Lanhua smiled with relief.
“I love you, Youcheng.”
She closed her eyes and soon began to breathe evenly. She must have been very tired from crying so much earlier and then again.
I turned off the light and returned to my chair, closing my eyes to rest.
Even if I couldn’t sleep, closing my eyes could help my spirit recover a bit.
When Lanhua was fast asleep, I would leave the room so as not to disturb her.
Just… in the darkness, I heard…
someone’s voice.
My eyes, which could see in the dark, still saw no one.
I looked around. My night-vision eyes still…
