“I know I’m being selfish. We’ve only been together for a little over three months, and our relationship is still developing. That’s precisely why… I’m afraid.”
“What could Olivier Alway possibly be afraid of?”
“Only three months. We met in the spring, and no matter how much has happened, in terms of time alone, it’s not that different from Lily, is it?”
I understood the quiet confession of my older childhood friend. Olivier and Jared had undoubtedly spent intense days together. However, in terms of time, it was less than half a year. Looking ahead, perhaps anyone who met him from now on, including Lily, could think the same.
Looking back in ten years, Olivier and Lily would both be simply described as “ten years ago.” The young lady of the Ducal Family’s anxiety stemmed from the fact that she had met her younger Fiancé a little too early. It was true that Olivier was special to Jared, and there was no need to worry about such things. But she wouldn’t listen to reason, and the heart of a maiden is such.
“You… truly love Jared, don’t you.”
“Yes, I do. I love him, and I’m fully aware that I’m possessive. It’s a shame for Jared to be caught up with a woman like me. But I can no longer live without him.”
Olivier’s feelings, while not quite dependency, were stronger than simple love. It was clear that the Olivier who stubbornly kept everyone except her Family at bay was no more. She had finally learned of affection beyond familial love and met an opposite sex individual with whom she could feel safe to rely on.
The former Olivier was gone, and some might see her as having become weaker. But her younger childhood friend reassured her that this was fine. She no longer had to pretend to be strong. She didn’t have to suppress her womanhood and sacrifice her happiness in order to protect her mother.
“But even more than that… I’m afraid Jared will be taken by someone else. And I hate myself for even thinking such things.”
“I think that’s perfectly natural. When anyone experiences love and meets the one they love, they will surely think the same things.” Lily felt the same way. Despite saying it was okay not to be Jared’s number one, she envied her beloved Fiancé.
“Nobles are terrible, aren’t they? Why do we have this system of Consorts?”
In the end, Olivier was simply afraid. She worried that as more Consorts were added, Jared’s heart would stray from her. Her fear of a “what if” that might never happen was solely because she didn’t want to lose the affection she had finally managed to obtain.
“You know, Olivier, talking with you, I’ve realized… I have feelings of affection for Jared as one woman to another.”
“… I already knew that.”
She replied without surprise to Lily’s abrupt confession. Both of them were inexperienced in love. Had their meeting been different, perhaps Lily might have received Jared’s affection.
“If you dislike it, you should say so clearly. It’s more painful to have things left ambiguous.”
“I know… but you’re not the type to give up just because I say no, are you?”
“That’s harsh; I have some discretion, you know. But yes, I don’t want to ruin your relationship, but I’m equally unwilling to give up.”
Having acknowledged her affection for her beloved and her envy towards her childhood friend, she stopped pretense. Believing today was her last chance, she confessed without hiding anything.
“I like you, Lily. We drifted apart once because of me, but I’m happy we can meet again like this. If you truly love Jared with all your heart… I won’t reject you.”
“Frankly, I’m surprised… is that alright?”
She gazed at her childhood friend with rounded eyes, not expecting such words from the one who had repeatedly said she disliked the idea.
“I intended to say no, but I couldn’t. I understand intellectually. I know that to support Jared, someone like you is necessary. But because of my own selfish feelings… I apologize.”
It wasn’t just that. The thought of having more Consorts, especially from the same Ducal Family, inevitably brought to mind her mother’s past struggles. She had endured such painful times.
“You don’t need to apologize. It’s natural. Anyone would feel anxious about the future.”
She murmured “Thank you” to her childhood friend’s considerate, kind voice. While she felt guilty for potentially hurting Lily by being selfish, she felt an even greater desire to share her own feelings honestly with the one who was confiding in her. They were childhood friends, and they were equals. She wanted to stand tall regarding Jared, too. That was her wish. Despite the fear of being replaced and the terror of being left behind, she was prepared to face it.
“I’m grateful to you. Thanks to you, I’ve recognized my own feelings and can face them. I believe Jared will need you too.”
“Does that mean…”
“But please give me a little more time. I don’t want to proceed further, conveniently leaving Jared behind. Also—you should tell Jared your feelings directly, not me.”
Olivier suppressed all the emotions brewing in her heart and spoke. It wasn’t for her own sake, but for the sake of the boy she loved, she accepted Lily. It was truly great progress.
“…Thank you.”
Lily’s eyes welled up at her childhood friend’s resolve. It was unexpected. “You’re tricky,” she thought, on the verge of tears. Olivier loved and cherished Jared. But Lily now knew that Olivier also cherished her, her long-time friend. All Lily had to do now was act without regret. Fortunately, she still had plenty of time.
“Come now, don’t cry. Let’s both move forward little by little.”
“—Yes, yes! Thank you, thank you so much.”
“It’s nothing. I also wanted to thank you for warming up Jared with your bare skin, even to the point of being in your undergarments, as a young lady of the Ducal Family.”
Time stopped for an instant. The tears she had been shedding froze, and instead, cold sweat broke out.
—Calm down, Lily Rüdiger. I’ve done nothing wrong!
She chided herself and looked at her childhood friend with more spirit and courage than when she had faced ghouls.
“—Ah, ha ha ha, you knew?”
“Yes, I know. I’m waiting for Jared to tell me himself.”
For now, she decided to deflect with a laugh. But only her laughter echoed emptily in the room. Like a frog stared down by a snake, she sweated and her heart pounded. Suddenly, Olivier broke the tense atmosphere with a bitter smile.
“Just kidding. I wouldn’t be jealous of a life-saving measure. I’m sorry, I just wanted to tease you a little.”
Perhaps Olivier was trying to break the ice. But it certainly made her heart race.
“Please don’t be angry with Jared. It was an emergency life-saving measure, and I’m sure he found it difficult to tell you.”
“I’m not angry. It’s just—”
“Just?”
“It’s cute when Jared nervously approaches me to confess, and I’m pretending not to know.”
“Yeah. You’re still as wicked as ever.”
The Olivier she knew so well was still here. She couldn’t help but sigh at her childhood friend, who was reveling in the sight of her Fiancé looking so flustered. She supposed this was also a form of affection, and she wondered what love truly was.
And so, through the conversation between the two young ladies of the Ducal Family, unbeknownst to Jared, the decision of whether Lily Rüdiger would become his Consort was left entirely up to him.
