I’m challenging myself with a past story.
I hope you enjoy it.
The person I was waiting for didn’t come.
That’s not quite it; rather, I was the one waiting, and Minami was the one waiting for me.
“Ah, ugh, you’re eating!”
“Talk after you swallow.”
I told her not to speak with a giant parfait spoon in her mouth at this hour, and after gulping something down, she spoke again.
“Is it alright if I finish eating first? The ice cream will melt,” she said.
“……Alright.”
Without complaining about the delay, Minami returned to conquering the parfait. I, having summoned her, had to accept this and swallow my urge to retort “You’re going to eat it?” Instead, I ordered a coffee to kill time until she finished. The cafe was mostly empty, so my coffee arrived quickly. As I sipped it, I watched Minami, who looked no different from any other happy female university student enjoying her parfait. Yet, she was the strategist of our party, a pillar supporting us with a wide variety of support magic tailored to any situation encountered in the Dungeon. She was a reliable presence inside dungeons, but seeing her so relaxed, one wouldn’t guess it.
“Well then, to reiterate, you were late,” she said.
“I admit I made you wait, but from my perspective, who was waiting for you to eat, that’s an unfair statement.”
Perhaps about thirty minutes had passed. Minami, having finished the last of the ice cream and wearing a satisfied smile, complained about my tardiness. Even I couldn’t let that slide. Just as I was about to sigh, thinking we were about to discuss a very important matter.
“Well, never mind that. You wanted to see me, right?”
“It’s about Katsu, isn’t it?”
Before I could even begin, Minami cut in, as if she had figured it out nonchalantly and with a hint of boredom. She swayed her parfait spoon, as if sensing the problem, without waiting for my reply.
“If I’m the only one summoned, I can usually figure that out. But judging by the leader’s demeanor, the situation doesn’t look good. Still, has Katsu started worrying again?”
Minami continued as if this had happened before.
“Again? Did you know about Katsu’s situation?”
“Saying I ‘knew’ is a bit off. It was more like half-confirmed speculation based on experience. A little thought and it’s a piece of cake. He’s probably feeling insecure now that I’m living a normal life and has free time, so he’s clinging to his current position. It’s just like before.”
She called it speculation, but I could tell Minami wasn’t exactly thrilled about the current situation. I couldn’t fathom why, but her way of speaking suggested she had anticipated this outcome.
“If you say it like that, does it mean your past complaints about it being troublesome were just an act?”
“No, that was genuine. I’m the type to not do things if I’m not interested or genuinely don’t want to. However, if you say I lack the minimum necessary life skills, that’s a different story.”
A being like mist. I had always thought her personality was elusive, and I believed I understood Minami’s character after spending some time with her. But I needed to revise that perception. Peering into the depths of her being, which she described as mist, I found myself more lost than ever, unable to grasp her intentions. When asked if she intentionally pushed Katsu into his current situation, her answer, while denying it, also seemed to imply an affirmative.
“I was reaching my limit. My relationship with Katsu, and Katsu himself.”
Yet, she continued to reveal the information I wanted, as if presenting a treasure chest from within that mist.
“Katsu seems dependable, but he’s not. That’s why when something affects his position, even slightly, he gets shaky. He relies heavily on others and lacks initiative. He never chases after things; he doesn’t step forward on his own.”
“Minami?”
The image of her happily devouring parfait had vanished, replaced by a sad look as she gazed out the window. When I called out to her, she turned to me, but her smile conveyed only sadness.
“Well, I can’t say much about myself either. I’m the same. I’m just a loser, a failure.”
Her words, unlike her usual presence that livened up the atmosphere, were like those of a clown standing alone on a deserted circus stage, speaking backstage stories.
“It’s the pathetic struggle of a foolish woman who fell in love with a younger boy admiring another woman.”
* * *
Another Side
The encounter between Tokorozawa Masaru and Shiretoko Min was merely through familial ties. If asked if there was anything special about it, they would both surely deny it. At the time, Minami was a junior high school student, and Masaru was an elementary school student. When adults engaged in difficult conversations, children would often be left to entertain themselves – a common scene. During such times, Masaru, the boy, unlike the children who would complain, quietly stayed by his parents’ side, waiting patiently for their conversation to end, as the adults praised him for his maturity. In contrast, Minami, quickly bored with her parents’ chat, busied herself with a game she had brought. The evaluations of the two children were diametrically opposed. Masaru was praised as mature for an elementary school student, while Minami was scolded for playing games. Though they recognized each other as relatives, they had no other connection. Moreover, they were an older girl and a younger boy. To Minami, the boy who was praised more than her was an irksome presence as she entered puberty. Masaru, on the other hand, had no desire to interact with Minami, who was constantly being reprimanded. If things had continued as they were, the two would never have crossed paths, but it was an older girl present there who brought them together. She was older than Minami, a high school student, and the person Minami least wanted to interact with at that gathering.
“Wow! I wonder if Katsu-kun is doing well!”
The girl pretended to stealthily approach, intending to play a prank. As the rest of the relatives watched, she crept up behind Masaru to surprise him, her expression turning into a smile as she saw his reaction. Her presence illuminated the room, her smile brought smiles to many, and her pleasant demeanor ensured no one harbored ill feelings towards her. Minami understood. This feeling was jealousy, a miserable heart yearning for what it didn’t have. Compared to her incessantly, Minami looked up from her game.
“Midori-san.”
There stood Masaru, the boy, with a relieved expression. The girl who spoke to him, Kawasaki Midori, and Masaru were known to be close. The feelings Masaru and Minami held towards her were almost opposite. One held admiration, the other jealousy for someone possessing what they lacked. Such childish emotions were of no concern to the adults around them. Masaru’s parents, feeling secure entrusting him to Midori, allowed her to take his hand and lead him away. Seeing this scene, Minami decided it had nothing to do with her and returned to her game world. Beyond the screen, a character she had nurtured was traveling in a world different from reality. Minami wondered when it started, that she began to expect something from beyond that screen, rather than from reality. Even though she understood it was futile, she couldn’t stop the anticipation.
“Here! Min-chan, come along too!!”
Bright words pierced her vision as she was lost in that different world. Hearing her name called, Minami at the time interrupted her game.
“No, I’m fine.”
She refused clearly, but carefully chose her words to minimize offense. The surrounding adults, frowning at her refusal of Midori’s invitation, whispered to each other. From their expressions, Minami seemed to be the villain, and even Masaru, though displeased that Minami wouldn’t join, couldn’t voice it with Midori present. Minami had no place there, no allies.
“Midori-chan is inviting you, why don’t you join her instead of just playing games?”
When even her own mother admonished her, Minami had no choice but to comply. Thus, Minami succumbed to the pressure of the majority.
“…Understood.”
“Wonderful!”
Suppressing a sigh, she went along with the opinions of those around her. This was a recurring scene where she was defeated by that sun-like smile. Or rather, it was only Minami who felt defeated; for Midori, it was an exchange that wasn’t even a contest. Unable to stand her ground, Minami continually told herself that this sun was right. This scene repeated every time she was called to family gatherings. Then, years passed, and Minami was a high school student. She had learned various things and acquired skills for navigating social situations. If her academic performance was above average, no one would complain. She wouldn’t defy her parents. That way, her own world would be protected. And so.
“Yo! Min-chan, it’s been a while! How have you been?”
“Hello, Midori-san. It’s been a while.”
She had reached a point where she could greet Midori, now a university student, without issue, having suppressed her feelings. She had attended the family gathering that day, even though she hated it, because she understood she would be criticized if she didn’t. Hiding her worsening headache, she put on a smile and exchanged greetings, then chatted with relatives instead of playing games. The conversation revolved around her past. They said she used to be a bit withdrawn but had grown. But.
“Maybe it’s thanks to Midori-chan being with you. You’ve become much brighter.”
Those words always clung to Minami. To the relatives, it was probably a casual remark, but for Minami, it was a statement that made her headache worse. She desperately wanted to deny it, but having learned to weigh the effort against the reward, Minami easily suppressed the feeling. She responded with a noncommittal “That’s right,” and let the conversation flow. However, the burden of self-restraint caused stress, and her physical condition gradually worsened. Already feeling unwell today, her poor physical condition became more pronounced as her mental state deteriorated. She excused herself to go to the restroom and stepped out into the hallway. “I can do this,” she thought, trying to clear her head with some fresh air. Just then.
“Min-san, are you alright?”
The door I thought I had closed opened, and Masaru, now a petite junior high school student, emerged.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
My heart skipped a beat for a moment, but I thought he couldn’t have noticed and forced a smile to get through this.
“Excuse me.”
Or so I thought. He stretched and a hand reached out, placing itself on my forehead.
“As I thought, you have a high fever.”
It was unusual for someone like me, who was rarely worried about, to receive such attention.
“Let’s rest over here.”
Even if it was a pretense, even if this boy was simply trying to get closer to that radiant woman, I was flustered by his concern.
“Ah, yes.”
His hand, holding mine, leading me to a place where no one would notice, left me bewildered. Masaru quickly prepared a futon, arranged things for me to rest, and brought a thermometer and water. Why was he being so earnest? Doubts surfaced in my mind. However, I didn’t voice them.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I simply offered my thanks. I thought this was the first word that connected Minami and Masaru. Masaru might not remember it. But on that day, Minami truly began to be aware of the boy named Masaru for the first time. And at the same time.
“Huh? Min-chan, what’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”
“Ah, hello Midori-san.”
“Hello, Katsu-kun. Sorry I’m late.”
Minami finally understood why Masaru had been so attentive in caring for her. Midori, who had popped her head out and now possessed an adult-like presence, looked surprised to see Minami unwell.
“Min-san looked like she wasn’t feeling well.”
“So you were taking care of her! That’s great! Just like a boy!”
And Masaru, praised unreservedly by Midori, blushed with joy. From that atmosphere alone, Minami understood. A boy’s fleeting love. The result of a boy’s efforts to appear cool, even just a little. Minami realized that even Masaru, whom she had always thought of as serious, earnest, and stern, had a cute side. Minami, too, was a blooming high school girl, after all. She wasn’t uninterested in romance. This was the kind of youth she had thought would never be hers. Seeing this, Minami found a small source of enjoyment even at this unpleasant family gathering.
“Well then, I’ll explain to the uncles and aunts!”
“Yes, please do!”
After being praised and seeing Midori off as she went to attend to the family gathering, Minami.
“Do you like Midori-san?”
“Eh!?”
Looking back, Minami teased Masaru, who was incredibly easy to read, for the first time in her life.
Today’s Word:
How you act, at the right time and place, can change the outcome.
This concludes this installment.
Thank you for your continued feedback and corrections of typos.
If you found this enjoyable, please consider leaving a review, rating, or bookmark.
* The first volume of the novel has been published by Hayakawa Bunko JA.
It was released on October 18, 2018.
The e-book version was released on October 31 of the same year.
Volume two was released on December 19.
The third volume was released on February 20, 2019.
The content has been revised and expanded from the original posts on Shōsetsuka ni Narō, with the addition of unpublished interlude chapters.
Please consider purchasing the new volumes!
A manga adaptation is also being serialized in Kodansha’s “Young Magazine The Third,” with its first chapter appearing in issue 9.
I hope you will enjoy that as well.
Thank you for your continued support of this work.
