17. Are you gay?
America, San Francisco.
9 AM.
Su Yan walked out of the training room, leaning against the railing, the glaring sunlight making it hard for him to open his eyes.
He lit a cigarette.
The taste of nicotine entered his lungs, unpleasant, but helpful for improving his mood.
“Smoking, huh?”
A familiar voice came from behind, Su Yan didn’t turn around, just gently exhaled a puff of smoke.
He glanced at the newcomer: “Want one?”
“Quit.”
“Quit?”
Lin Qingyan said seriously, “You don’t understand, right? Quitting smoking helps improve reaction speed!”
“Hehe…”
Su Yan continued to blink those dead fish eyes, wanting to laugh, as if what he said was serious.
“And them?”
“Still inside getting scolded.”
Lin Qingyan carefully chose his words, looking at his old teammate: “Are you angry?”
Su Yan didn’t like smoking.
He also valued competitions.
Being able to light up a cigarette before a match indicated that something was bothering him.
Lin Qingyan suspected it was because of the earlier training match.
They played terribly.
To be precise, the other three newbies, excluding him and Su Yan, played terribly.
But Lin Qingyan could understand.
This international invitational was the first offline match since their team was formed, so it was normal to be inexperienced and lose.
“I’m not angry.”
Su Yan shrugged indifferently: “I’ve played for how many years? Is it worth getting angry over this?”
“Then what’s this…”
Lin Qingyan’s gaze settled on the cigarette in Su Yan’s hand: “Are you addicted?”
Su Yan didn’t respond immediately.
The ash from the cigarette tip was blown away by the wind, drifting towards the street below, dispersing in the sunlight.
“There were some issues at home.”
Lin Qingyan was his teammate for many years. Over the years, they had long become closer than brothers.
If Su Yan wanted to confide in someone, apart from him, he couldn’t think of anyone else…
Oh wait, there was one more person.
A friend he had known for many years, but they had met online.
Speaking of which, that guy was quite tactful; when he offered to buy him a gift, he didn’t accept.
“Something happened?”
Lin Qingyan’s tone grew serious: “Is it about your parents…?”
“They’re both healthy.”
“Then is it your mom who doesn’t want you to compete, wants you to come home to inherit the family business?”
“She can’t control me.”
Su Yan thought for a moment and added, “But it is related to her. Guess again.”
“Guess your mom!”
Lin Qingyan’s veins popped out: “If you have something to say, just say it! Can’t you be straightforward?!”
“See, you’re anxious again.”
Su Yan sighed, looking into the distance, the breeze blowing through, causing his tousled hair to be messy.
A perfect image of a gloomy young man.
“Actually…” Su Yan elongated the sound: “It’s my mom wanting me to go on a blind date.”
Lin Qingyan: ???
He stared blankly at Su Yan, his expression filled with pity, as if he were looking at a fool.
After a long while.
Even though Lao Da is dead, the spirit lives on. Lin Qingyan elbowed Su Yan: “Are you out of your mind?”
“Damn!”
Su Yan’s expression suddenly changed, covering the area that had been struck, trembling as he squatted down.
“What are you doing?!”
“You’re calling blind dates a family issue! Just going on a blind date and you’re acting like it’s a big deal? I thought something serious happened!”
“You’re really not funny at all.”
Su Yan slowly stood up, leaning on the railing: “Can’t I make a joke?!”
“Alright, stop being a smart-ass.”
Lin Qingyan rolled his eyes.
He should have guessed; this guy pretended to be aloof, but in reality, he was just a shy person.
In front of acquaintances, he behaved openly.
What kind of good person would act cool in front of friends, smoking and pretending to be deep!
Especially since he didn’t like to show up and didn’t participate in interviews, fans outside even gave him a title of ‘cool god’!
No, no, no, not just fans.
Even the few newbies in the team thought he belonged to the aloof category, really good at pretending!
Lin Qingyan wanted to laugh every time he thought about this.
“Back to the point, are you smoking because of this?”
“Yeah, is that wrong?”
“Is it necessary?”
Su Yan leaned his upper body over the railing: “You know what my family is like.”
Lin Qingyan smacked his lips: “That’s true.”
His family… was indeed quite special…
“In short, my mom is adamant about wanting me to find a partner.”
Su Yan sighed: “It’s frustrating…”
Lin Qingyan was puzzled: “But why is Auntie suddenly urging you about this?”
Su Yan fell silent.
“…My mom suspects I’m gay.”
Lin Qingyan also fell silent.
He patted Su Yan’s shoulder, his tone cautious and careful: “You’re not, right?”
“Get lost.”
Su Yan threw the cigarette down: “If I’m not, then what? Do I look like a gay person?”
Lin Qingyan shook his head internally.
Not really.
Then he nodded internally.
But it feels like it.
His friend, Su Yan, no exaggeration or insult, had been single for as long as he had been alive.
That’s what they called a ‘mother single.’
But he wasn’t bad-looking, belonging to the type who doesn’t care to dress up, but would look handsome if he did.
Just such a handsome guy.
Over twenty years without dating, no flings, never talking about these things, and hardly any women around him.
Lin Qingyan suddenly understood the aunt.
“Then just find a girlfriend. You’ve been single for so many years…”
“Find a girlfriend? Where do you expect me to find one? You want to turn into a woman to be my girlfriend?”
“Hehe.”
Lin Qingyan didn’t want to engage with him anymore.
He thought someone like him, who was so shy, probably couldn’t attract a normal woman.
He turned to leave.
Su Yan was in the mood to smoke; he still had things to do.
Like comforting the newbies.
That’s the captain’s responsibility. He took on this burden; some things were for him to do.
“Make sure to mock them a bit for me, especially Xiao Zheng. I think he’s gotten a bit too cocky.”
“Comfort yourself if you want comfort!”
Lin Qingyan’s annoyed voice came from behind, just like when he arrived.
“Ha…”
Su Yan chuckled awkwardly.
Clearing his mind, he leaned over the railing, enjoying the scenery of this foreign city until his vision blurred.
What Lin Qingyan didn’t know was that Su Yan still had things unsaid.
Some things he could only confide in this old teammate, while some things this old teammate couldn’t know.
The last year…
Su Yan touched his nose, lit another cigarette, and began to put on a facade for himself.
——————
Hospital.
The air was filled with a faint scent of disinfectant as Jiang Zhi walked out of the department, instinctively tightening her grip on the report in hand.
Her face was burning.
The conversation with the doctor still echoed in her mind.
She could still remember the surprised look on the doctor’s face when she said she used to be a man.
The doctor nearly popped her eyes out.
Seriously!
What’s the big deal about changing gender?!
In today’s society, with such a free atmosphere, is it really necessary to make a fuss?!
Jiang Zhi hated that feeling.
Luckily, the doctor was quite professional; upon understanding her purpose, they asked her a number of questions.
In summary.
She really had transformed into a genuine girl.
She had all the functions a girl should have, would have her period, and could naturally also get pregnant and give birth.
Jiang Zhi was not surprised by this.
After all, she crossed over, so changing genders didn’t seem that special.
But even if she wasn’t surprised, once she confirmed that she was truly a girl, there was still an unavoidable tinge of loss.
In short, her identity issue was resolved.
However, to get the hospital to issue her a relevant certificate, she still had to undergo a full medical examination.
Jiang Zhi was now on her way to get her blood drawn.
The hospital was bustling at noon, and Jiang Zhi felt a bit dazed. When was the last time she came to the hospital?
It seemed like it was still in her childhood, back when she was in the orphanage.
Every time the orphanage organized medical check-ups, when it came to blood draws, she was the most embarrassed of all the kids, crying so loud it could almost lift the ceiling.
Since then, she had developed a fear of injections; when she got sick, she would take medicine and never went for an injection.
Pretty embarrassing.
That was also the reason she didn’t have Qian Qian by her side, because anywhere she would be embarrassed should not be in front of her daughter!
“Hello, I’m here for a blood draw.”
Upon reaching the blood draw department, Jiang Zhi handed the report to the nurse through a window.
The nurse was an older woman, fully decked out in a mask, cap, and lab coat, with only her eyeglasses visible.
She received the report: “Wait here.”
While the doctor prepared the tools, Jiang Zhi sat down and took out her phone.
The air conditioner at home was broken, so she sent Qian Qian to Sister Jiang’s place, also unsure if the little girl was behaving.
I am a pigeon: Sister Jiang, is Qian Qian causing trouble?
Sister Jiang only sent her a video.
The protagonist of the video was Qian Qian, who was leaning on the table, swinging her little feet, chatting with a guest.
Jiang Zhi smiled silently.
It seemed she was worried for nothing.
After reminding Sister Jiang to let Qian Qian drink more water, she was about to put her phone away when Simai Lu sent her a message.
Hmm?
Isn’t this guy at work?
Simai Lu: Do you believe in love?
What does that mean?
What’s the point of sending this message?
Though the two would chat about random topics, discussing love seemed to be a first.
Could it be that Simai Lu has a situation?!
Human nature is to gossip; even if the person is just an online friend you haven’t met, there’s a saying—
Ignoring gossip is foolish.
Jiang Zhi’s curiosity was piqued, and she typed eagerly.
I am a pigeon: Do you have a situation?
Simai Lu: No, just inspired by reading your novel.
“Tsk.”
Jiang Zhi thought to herself, do you think I’m that gullible? 👎
I am a pigeon: Roll.
Simai Lu: Don’t! I’m counting on you to interpret it for me!
Interpret your great wall!
Jiang Zhi thought, I’m about to get stabbed, where do I have the time to be your military advisor?
Gossiping is fine.
But there’s no gossip, anyway!
She directly put away her phone.
The nurse lady seemed to have readied the blood-drawing tools. Jiang Zhi nervously swallowed.
“Stretch out your arm.”
Jiang Zhi obediently extended her arm.
Her dangling hair tickled her neck, and the nurse applied alcohol onto her arm, cold and eerie.
The bright, sharp needle glimmered under the bright incandescent light.
It’s coming, it’s coming, it’s coming!
Jiang Zhi sucked in a breath, her arm instinctively tensed. She wanted to close her eyes, but wouldn’t dare to.
Noticing this, the nurse lady paused.
“Afraid of needles?”
Jiang Zhi shook her head; she wasn’t fainting, just scared.
“How can someone your age still be afraid of needles?”
Jiang Zhi subtly curled her lip.
“You can’t do this, just think of something else to distract your attention, relax.”
Something else?
Jiang Zhi instinctively thought of the message Simai Lu sent her, since it just happened.
Do you believe in love?
Such a cliché question.
She felt thinking about that question was itself embarrassing; aside from literary youth, who would really ponder it seriously?
Of course, she believed in love!
But love seemed to not believe in her.
Not only did it not believe in her, but it also deprived her of the right to have love.
As she thought, she recalled Lin Shuwan.
Speaking of love, Lin Shuwan was the only one she could think of.
Her consciousness gradually faded, her arm muscles softened, and Jiang Zhi was filled with thoughts of Lin Shuwan.
“Hey, that’s it, relax.”
The nurse lady nodded in satisfaction.
“Jiang Zhi?”
However, just as the needle was mere millimeters away from her skin, Jiang Zhi suddenly heard someone calling her name.
“Eh?”
She froze, looking in the direction of the voice.
The light was too bright, and the person was backlit, so Jiang Zhi didn’t see clearly at first; she could only squint.
When she finally saw the figure standing ahead, her originally squinted peach blossom eyes widened in shock.
What the hell!
“Lin, Lin, Lin Shuwan…?”
