It felt like I was walking on the dark seabed.
It was too deep, a domain where no light could penetrate. Moving a finger was a struggle, and each step took several seconds in this world.
So, I quickly relaxed my body and decided to drift in the water. Trying to move forward in this dark, heavy world on my own volition was too difficult.
Little by little, my body began to ascend due to buoyancy. Rising higher and higher, light gradually began to filter into the water.
Various things were reflected within that light.
A black-haired girl standing on a frozen lake… a black-haired boy living with only candlelight in a dimly lit basement… an elderly beastman sitting on a swaying chair surrounded by thousands of books… a blonde woman singing a poem in agony at the top of a tower… and a princess from a small country with dazzlingly radiant hair…
Here, I realized I was dreaming.
And I also understood that everything I saw was old memories.
I had a similar dream a little while ago. That time, my past memories were being sorted.
It seemed a similar phenomenon was occurring today.
The fragments of Primordial Kanami’s memories, which failed to be inherited by Apostle Legacy, were resurfacing.
There was no doubt that my memories were being restored, triggered by the rise in my Magic Power. Like bubbles rising from the bottom of the water, memories were returning one by one.
From these memories, I chose one.
Instinctively, I chose the memory that was most connected to me now.
The memory of meeting her…
What appeared was… a green-haired girl, being welcomed by countless people, triumphantly returning.
A young king, riding a ferocious-looking giant beast, leading thousands of soldiers, charging through a storm of admiration.
All those countless people were beastmen. And I realized that the city resembled Viais. The main street in Viais, which I also know, was now filled with a procession of soldiers who had likely won a war, led by the green-haired girl.
—This was my first encounter with Rowen.
Among the cheering populace, four travelers were mingled in.
For some reason, they were disguised by magic, but I knew all their names.
The blonde woman was Apostle Sis. The black-haired girl was Hidaki. The youngest girl was Tiara. And the masked boy was Primordial Kanami—that would be me.
For some reason, everyone was wearing cat ears and a cat tail.
Perhaps only beastmen were allowed in the North during that period, but from that choice, I sensed my own eccentric taste. I was annoyed at my past self for doing something so foolish.
However, my gaze, standing amidst the victory parade, was serious.
I was seriously watching the green-haired girl—Rowen—from afar.
Unlike the Rowen I knew now, that green-haired girl was filled with dignity and spirit.
Instead of her usual plain clothes, she wore fine silk, and over it, thick armor that must have been crafted with exceptional skill. A crown adorned with abundant jewels sat on her head, proudly proclaiming her status as king to those around her. Of course, her tail and ears, like those of a town girl, were gone, and her elegant, long green hair floated towards the sky. And, without hiding the wings on her back, she spread them out grandly.
Seeing that figure, anyone would think her worthy of being depicted in a painting.
—Ah, what a magnificent king.
To such an extent, there was not a single flaw in Rowen’s face.
Naturally bringing back victory, she coolly received the thunderous cheers of her people. Truly, the king among kings. Although she was a queen, Rowen’s face was so gallant, noble, solitary, and stern that she seemed to possess no feminine qualities.
That king was being evaluated by ‘Apostles’ and ‘Saints’ mingling with the crowd.
“…Yes, is that the ‘Mad King’? Certainly, she seems to have the bearing to be called that. …Tiara, what do you think of her?”
“She’s so popular! In the South, she’s called the ‘Mad King’, but here, she’s ‘The Ruling King’. Hmm, rumors really can’t be trusted!”
When Apostle Sis asked Tiara, perched on her shoulder, a very clear answer came back. Hearing it, Apostle Sis gave a wry smile and said, “That’s right.”
“Should we stop believing rumors that cross country borders from now on? I never imagined the King of the North would be this beautiful…”—
And then, her sister, Hidaki, continued the conversation.
But she trailed off midway. The reason was that the condition of the older brother beside her—that is, Primordial Kanami—was strange.
Primordial Kanami was gazing intently at Rowen.
“Is something wrong, Older Brother?”
Hidaki asked with concern, and Primordial Kanami replied.
“No, I was just surprised because she was different from what I imagined…”
“Was she more beautiful than you imagined?”
Hidaki replied, sounding a little sulky.
“No, that’s not it! It’s not about that!”
“Then, what was different?”
“It’s just… that King looks like she’s suffering. It feels as if she’s asking for help from someone, even now…”
Primordial Kanami’s assessment, as he earnestly stared at Rowen, was the same as my current one.
I thought that the girl, Rowen, was suffering now, just as she had in the past, and was continuously seeking help.
However, the reaction of her companions to that earnest statement was terrible.
“Oh, again? Don’t you say that every time you see a beautiful woman?”
“Sigh, this ally’s bad habit is quite troublesome.”
“Master, again?”
From their words, I could tell he always picked fights about beautiful women.
Even though I was struggling deep in a labyrinth right now, I felt indignant wondering what this Primordial Kanami was doing. No, I knew this Primordial Kanami was also myself.
“No, that’s not what I mean. It just looks like it… But he’s the King of the Northern Empire…”
“Absolutely not, Master. We’re mere travelers, and we can’t reveal our identities either. If we get too close to that cool king, we won’t be able to stay in the North, will we?”
Kanami, the Shiso, persisted, but the reactions around him were cold. It seemed no one believed the Lord was asking for help in the first place.
“There is only one thing we should be doing now. Collecting ‘Magic Power.’ We must not mistake that, my ally.”
Reassured by the Saint and the Apostle, Kanami, the Shiso, reluctantly nodded.
“Yeah, I get it. I get it…”
Amidst them, only Hidaki—Hidaki alone—watched Kanami, the Shiso, without saying a word. She fixed her dark eyes on him, trying to see through the expression hidden behind his mask.
Then, the King’s triumphant return proceeded, and Kanami, the Shiso, and the others lost sight of the Lord.
Even after the King passed by, the people’s fervor did not subside.
The four of them walked away amidst the commotion. In the end, Kanami’s story was dismissed, and they decided to stay as far away from the Lord as possible.
—Yes.
Our first meeting was just a fleeting encounter.
And I clearly remember regretting it deeply.
I believe Kanami and the Lord’s cooperation was supposed to happen much later.
After Hidaki became a monster and separated from Apostle Sis and Tiara.
So, the dream of our first meeting ends here.
I am returned to a dream, like the bottom of the water.
The water was gradually being filled with light. I had a premonition that my dream would end when this light filled everything in the water.
Before the dream ended, I desperately looked around, trying to recover as many memories as possible.
And then, the next thing I found was—a memory of a boy and a girl walking inside a mansion surrounded by castle walls.
The boy and girl had black hair that was very long.
For a moment, I couldn’t tell who they were. But looking at their faces, there was no mistaking their names.
It was Kanami, the Shiso, and Nosfy.
This time, it seems to be a memory of their meeting.
However, both looked slightly different from how I knew them.
Nosfy was still the beautiful girl in a black dress with frills. The only difference would be her hair color. It seemed a little lighter in tone than now. However, as it was a color that seemed to contain all colors to begin with, it was not very noticeable.
Kanami, on the other hand, now had black hair that reached around his chest. It was closer to the body he appeared in from the Shaka Hōkan Jin than I am now. It seemed his hair had grown with the passage of time.
The length of his hair suggested that considerable time had passed since his meeting with the Lord. This was likely the period when his sister had become a monster, and he was acting alone to seek revenge on Apostle Sis. According to Nosfy’s story, I was in a state of despair after being defeated by Apostle Sis once. This scene might be from that time.
Kanami’s lifeless, vacant eyes proved it. Kanami, the defeated Shiso, stumbled around like a sleepwalker. Nosfy held him from the side, assisting him. I had heard about it, but seeing it again was terrible. It was so bad that I couldn’t believe it was my own appearance.
“…Lord Uzunami, this way.”
The two continued to walk through the corridor of the mansion, lined with brilliant furnishings. Nosfy repeatedly readjusted her hold on Kanami, who stumbled often.
And then, walking alone, they entered one of the large rooms in the mansion. In the center was a long table that could accommodate twenty people at once, and meals for two were prepared on it.
“This is your breakfast. Come, let’s eat together.”
Nosfy diligently took care of Kanami.
The room was too vast for just two people to use. On the floor was a finely patterned carpet that looked like it could be displayed in an art museum. A luxurious chandelier made of magic stones hung from the ceiling. Several paintings, ten meters high, lined the walls. Honestly, the room was extravagant to the point of being tasteless. It seemed to exist solely to flaunt wealth, and it was strange that there were only two people in it.
“Is it delicious? I woke up early to make it. Lots of your favorite dishes, Lord Uzunami…”
Even though she knew she wouldn’t get an answer, Nosfy spoke while scooping soup with a spoon and bringing it to Kanami’s lips. Kanami ate, his unfocused eyes wandering.
It was a painful sight. Even more so than Kanami’s pitiable condition, it was unbearable for Nosfy to watch.
Though a smile was constantly plastered on her face, it was utterly devoid of life. Was she happy spending time with Kanami? Her cheeks were slightly flushed. But there was undeniably a sorrow that far outweighed that happiness. Her eyes were so watery that it looked like tears were about to fall, even though she was smiling.
She continued to feed him, her smile on the verge of tears.
It was then that it happened.
“Ah, your mouth…”
Kanami shifted slightly, and soup splattered beside his mouth. Nosfy reached out to wipe it. But she stopped abruptly.
His faint expression deepened.
The ratio of joy and sorrow remained the same, and he could feel his emotions swelling.
Then, he repeatedly reached out towards Primordial Kanami’s cheek only to pull his hand back. After several minutes of hesitation and decision-making, he finally wiped his mouth with the table napkin.
Tears fell at the same time.
It seemed even the slightest bit of joy had vanished. Nosfy, consumed by sadness, lowered her eyes, and tears began to fall from the girl’s obsidian eyes.
“Father…”
Looking up at the sky, the words she uttered were “father.”
He didn’t understand the meaning of those words, but he could tell from her tone that they were very important.
Yet, even seeing this, Primordial Kanami said nothing. He didn’t move. He didn’t react at all.
This fact only made the girl grieve more.
It was a memory he wanted to look away from.
But this was how Nosfy and I met. This was undoubtedly our encounter.
Even knowing it was a dream, he felt an urge to reach out his own arm to stop the girl’s tears.
But he couldn’t reach.
This was something that had already ended. Something from the past.
Therefore, he couldn’t stop the sound of the falling tears, and finally… at that moment.
Something wet touched my cheek.
(――――!?)
For me… but this wasn’t Primordial Kanami in the dream. It was my senses as I slept, dreaming. That sensation interrupted the memory of meeting Nosfy.
Like a water surface hit by a stone, the memory dissipated.
…
I feel like the part that came next was a very important memory.
I wanted to see more of my memories with Nosfy, but what had dispersed couldn’t be recovered.
The warm, wet sensation that spread across my cheek was accompanied by a gradual filling of the dream water with light. I realized I was slowly waking up from the dream. Being disturbed during an important memory conversion, a feeling akin to the irritation of waking up swelled within me.
And the painfully bright light that met my eyes lifted my heavy eyelids—
—and I was fully awake.
◆◆◆◆◆
I opened my eyes.
The moment I lifted my eyelids, I saw almost the same scene as yesterday.
Nosfy’s face was inches from my nose, and her obsidian eyes reflected me as I slept.
Almost the same scene—but there was a slight difference. That slight difference, however, was fatal.
Unlike yesterday, Nosfy was straddling me as I slept, and she was extending her pink tongue from her small mouth, licking my cheek.
The sound of saliva spread out, and I heard her tongue tracing a path.
“—!”
The moment I understood the situation, I instinctively tried to push Nosfy away.
However, my body wouldn’t move. There was a clatter, and pain shot through my arms and legs.
《Dimension》 and “Sensation,” which had activated automatically, appraised my current condition.
I was now lying spread-eagled on a large bed. My arms and legs were bound by sparkling, rope-like magical constructs. Upon closer inspection, the rope on my right hand passed behind the bed and connected to the rope on my left hand. The same was true for my legs.
It was a restraint that couldn’t be broken by simply struggling with brute force.
“…Good morning, Lord Uzun.”
Nosfy, who had stopped licking, greeted me with a smile.
“N, Nosfy—?”
I understood that the wet, lukewarm sound and sensation from the dream was Nosfy’s doing. But I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t understand the reason for this situation. Perhaps because I had just seen the diligent Nosfy, the contrast was striking.
“H-hey, Nosfy! What are you thinking, doing this—!”
Utterly bewildered, I sternly questioned Nosfy.
“Yes. It’s the result of much thought…”
However, she didn’t seem flustered and merely continued to stroke my cheek.
“No, think again, why is this happening! Just release me from this immediately!”
I demanded freedom while moving my bound arms, but all I received was a shake of her head, her cheeks flushed red.
Then, throwing aside my request, Nosfy voiced only her own.
“I-it’s fine, isn’t it?”
She was trying to confirm with her mouth, but it was obvious she wasn’t listening to my answer. I, who didn’t even understand what was fine, had my cheek stroked, my neck traced by a finger, and my collarbone caressed by five fingertips. With a lustful, hot breath, Nosfy’s face drew near again.
Gradually, I began to understand what the current Nosfy was trying to do.
If my guess was correct, it was far too sudden, far too unconventional, and far too unsanitary.
“Yes, we are former husband and wife…! In a marital relationship, there’s nothing strange about it, is there…? Right, Lord Uzun…!”
“No way—!”
I understood what Nosfy was trying to do.
It was so unexpected that even my heightened senses—”Sensation”—couldn’t detect any premonition.
This is bad.
This is really bad.
It was a different kind of premonition than the one I felt in combat, but a chill that rivaled it ran down my spine.
“You were trapped in Another World… in a Labyrinth, weren’t you…? Then, you must have had many troubles. All I ask is that you release your sexual urges with me.”
I was convinced by Nosfy’s words.
I don’t know the reason or the circumstances, but this chestnut-haired girl wants to “do that kind of thing” with me. I could feel my face contort for a moment.
And then my cheeks turned not red, but blue.
The girl before me is beautiful. To be comparable to Rustiara is, for me, the greatest beauty imaginable.
Her translucent skin is flawless, and her chestnut hair shimmers captivatingly with each strand. She possesses an allure that draws everything in, like a porcelain flower in full bloom.
And her obsidian eyes remind me of the familiar people from my original world. If she were in my world, she would reign for a century as the pinnacle of idols and models.
I am being desired by this overly beautiful girl.
Normally, one would be flustered but also a little happy. That would be the normal reaction for a boy. Yet, what I feel now is not excitement, but fear.
It’s a harsh thing to say, but I even feel a physiological aversion.
For some reason, I felt I must not lay a hand on Nosfy.
No matter what happens—
Of course, with common sense, I understand that this situation is also criminal.
So, I slowly try to persuade Nosfy with general arguments.
“O-Okay, Nosfy… That’s something for people who like each other to do with mutual consent, not something for us who just met. You understand that much, right…?”
However, she doesn’t stop. Nosfy frowns but continues to move her creeping hands.
“…If there’s mutual consent, that’s fine. Then, Lord Uzunami, please acknowledge it now. Please make it so that this is not one-sided, but a loving nurturing. Yes, right now.”
“Right now… in this situation!?”
“Yes, right now. —’Light Knife’.”
Nosfy smiles sweetly and chants a magic. She generates a blade, resembling a very sharp kitchen knife, with light, and gently places it at my throat.
“Don’t point a weapon at me! That’s not what mutual consent means!”
“Ah, excuse me. It’s just a habit…”
“—A habit!?”
She looks embarrassed, like a child chewing her nails being scolded, and dispels the blade of light. Her practiced threat only accelerates my confusion.
“Please. I beg you, let me fulfill my lingering desire…”
“Wait… Please, seriously calm down. You call *this* a lingering desire…? Really?”
“Yes, I’m sure I want ‘proof’. Just ‘friends’ doesn’t clear my heart at all! After all, there’s no one but you, Lord Uzunami! That’s why I want ‘proof’ with you, Lord Uzunami! ‘Proof’ that we were truly connected! ‘Proof’ that I fulfilled my mission! If I have that ‘proof’, I will surely—!!”
Finally, Nosfy lets out an uncharacteristic scream.
Fearing I’ll be overwhelmed by her force, I scream back.
“But, do you think it’s right to tie me up and forcibly attack me, Nosfy? Is this really okay?! It’s impossible!!”
Exposed to my angry voice, Nosfy’s momentum is slightly blunted.
“Of course, I don’t think it’s right… However, didn’t you say that just doing what’s right isn’t enough, Lord Uzunami…”
“That’s not what I meant! At least, I didn’t mean I wanted you to do something like this!”
I continue to shout, trying to push through this situation, but Nosfy quickly regains her resolve.
“Then, what did you mean…!? To me, Lord Uzunami was ‘absolute justice’ and ‘perfect’! When the great Lord Uzunami wavers in his own words, I become confused! I wanted to get closer to that wonderful Lord Uzunami! I have always wanted to get closer and touch you, both then and now…! Yes, after all, that is my only lingering desire…!! That is also my regret…!!”
As she screams, Nosfy’s face draws nearer. Her small lips are about to touch mine imminently.
There was no longer time for exchanging words.
Feeling that I would be at her mercy if this continued, I activate the ultimate magic.
“—Magic ‘Distance Mute’!!”
‘Distance Mute’, a magic that penetrates the walls of dimensions.
Its power is not limited to attack. As I used it to pick a lock a little while ago, its applications are wide-ranging. Instead of covering my entire arm, I deploy it momentarily to my hands and feet for a rope escape.
This clumsy and forceful magic construction drains a significant amount of magic power. A pain like a drill hole runs through my head. But this much is usual for me.
Maintaining my composure, I use my freed hands to grab Nosfy.
Nosfy must have been confident in her capture with the ropes of light. Unable to counter my counterattack, I switch places with her and am thrown onto the bed.
As I am, I try to escape the room.
“Lord Uzunami! —Magic ‘Light Staff’!!”
However, the entire exit, including the window, is crisscrossed with bars of light. Realizing that an absurd amount of magic is imbued in each of these lights, I am forced to stop.
Knowing that a direct escape would only result in me being caught from behind, I turn my body back towards Nosfy.
“Nosfy! Now isn’t the time for that!? At least wait until I get my memories back! You’d prefer me remembering Nosfy from a thousand years ago, wouldn’t you!?”
As she stood up from the bed with a sway, Nosfy continued to smile.
“Yes, I initially intended to do just that. By order of things, my lingering desire should be resolved last… So, I planned to first return to the ground, save Sister, rescue Rowen, and then slowly regain Uzunami’s memories before finally pouring out my feelings. Yes, I still believe that is the correct course of action. Without a doubt, that would be the most proper path—”
“Then why aren’t you doing that—!!”
Nosfy’s response was more rational than I had anticipated. The difference was stark when compared to the enemies I’d dealt with so far, with whom I couldn’t even have a proper conversation. However, that only served to accelerate my fear. It meant Nosfy had calmly chosen this situation.
“But, watching Rowen and Lord Uzun, I realized something. No, I’ve thought this since a thousand years ago.”
There was no sign of confusion on Nosfy’s face as she spoke plainly. As she said at the beginning, it was clear that all her actions were the result of careful consideration. And then, Nosfy revealed the reason for this rational yet misguided rampage.
“Because the ones who do the right thing always lose.”
“—What!?”
With a tearful face, she smiled and stated the reason briefly. I was speechless at the overwhelmingly clear explanation. I had braced myself for a more complex and bizarre reason, so this was far too unexpected.
“A thousand years ago—while I was trying to act mature, I lost everything. That time, I had the chance to win over Uzunami, but I missed it. Because I was taught to do the right thing, and because I did the right thing, all that was left in the end was ‘death’ and ‘regret.’ I cannot accept that outcome. A world where good deeds don’t return good. A life where the more good I did, the more unhappy I became. There’s no way I can accept such an ending—”
Her plea was too fitting as a lingering desire. It was too common a tale in the midst of life. The weight of words from someone long dead added to it, turning into an uncontrollable scream. I couldn’t easily retort “That’s wrong.” I couldn’t offer any easy comfort. All I could do was lose my words, as Nosfy’s heartfelt cry continued.
“If being an adult and living means losing out. Like everyone else, I want to be a child. I don’t want to live understandingly. Pretending to be good is just too painful for me. It really, truly is agonizing…”
The trembling Nosfy was likely envying me and Rowen. Perhaps due to her innate personality, there was no trace of malicious emotions like jealousy; she simply envied us. And so, she was simply trying to imitate us. And then, I understood. It was a series of my own misjudgments—I realized that the one most shaken by yesterday’s turmoil was not Rowen, but the girl standing before me. Right now, Nosfy was crumbling. She was breaking from the very roots of her heart.
“Yes, Rowen was right. As expected of Rowen, who was more mature than anyone else. He truly understands life. Just pretending to be good changes nothing… Doing the right thing alone will never lead to happiness…”
Pressed down by her raspy voice, raw like undiluted liquid, I was paralyzed. To the point where I, who had tried to persuade Nosfy, was being persuaded in return.
“Be good, be good, I was taught! I lived righteously as taught, lived righteously! And at the end, I died righteously! I finally realized it! ‘Be good’—those words are just for the convenience of the person who taught them! Yes, I’ve vaguely known it! That the better a person is, the more unfortunate they become!!”
Frankly speaking, what Nosfy was saying was easy to understand. It was the story of how people who strive hard to live are not rewarded. The story of how no matter how much you try, the world only prepares merciless endings. The story of how villains inexplicably live happily without punishment, while good people are punished by the fate of death. I had too many experiences that resonated with it, and I was inevitably swept away by her momentum.
Nosfy approached me, who couldn’t move a single step. I couldn’t reject her. Because this girl was purely seeking happiness. There was no malice in her. Of course, no hostility either. Only affection. She was too pure to be pushed away.
“So, I thought about it. Yes, now, I will honestly tell you. All along, I—wanted to make a mistake.”
And then, the lingering desire of the ‘Thief of the Principles of Light’ was revealed. The answer that the girl seeking happiness arrived at was far too distorted. It was as if she resented it, overturning her entire life. I could see she was even overturning her lifelong pride. But she couldn’t breathe otherwise—her expression made that clear.
“To make mistakes, to make mistakes, even as I continue to make mistakes, I want to be happy. And I want to end happily, while being happy. That is my lingering desire—”
Before I knew it, the ‘Thief of the Principles of Light’ had reached a distance within my grasp.
