Staring at her form for too long, my Status comes into view against my will.
【Status】
Name: Rustiara Fuziaze HP 895/895 MP 442/442 Class: Knight
Level 23
Strength 19.54 Stamina 18.12 Dexterity 9.98 Speed 11.61 Intelligence 17.98 Magic Power 13.89 Aptitude 4.00
Condition: None
Innate Skills: Weapon Combat 2.22 Swordsmanship 2.13 Divine Eye 1.00
Magic Combat 2.28 Blood Arts 6.23 Divine Magic 1.05
Acquired Skills: Reading 1.45 Physique 1.00 Concentrated Convergence 0.22
I felt a slight discomfort that her level hadn’t changed much since I last saw her. With a whole year having passed, it felt unlike Rustiara for her level and skills to remain largely the same.
However, according to the ‘Display,’ there was no doubt that she was Rustiara.
Rustiara, with Ragune-chan and Sera following behind her, first addressed Fedelt.
“There was some strange stalling during our journey, so I figured it had to be Fedelt.”
“La, Lady Rustiara…”
Fedelt immediately turned from me to Rustiara and offered a bow.
“…You, go down now.”
Rustiara sighed at Fedelt, who remained looking down without a word, and urged him to leave.
“But, these people—”
“I am currently in charge of this place by the Senate’s decree. And they are my guests. Therefore, there is no place for you here.”
“Hmph…”
From Fedelt’s expression, it was clear that Rustiara now held more authority.
Fedelt had no choice but to grind his teeth and bow to us.
“…Master Kanami. We shall meet again someday. I have not yet used all my strength… Yes, I still have ways to go. Still more.”
“Ah, yes. Until then.”
Unlike some wicked Guardians, he gave a very human-like parting remark, which was oddly reassuring. I saw him off with a sigh of relief.
Perhaps he mistook my attitude for confidence, for Fedelt’s expression was one of bitter regret. He then turned to leave the room, glaring at me.
“Ah, leave them behind. I want servers.”
Midway, Rustiara ordered him to leave the Magic Stone Human girls behind.
“Guh, ugh… U-Understood…”
Unaccustomed to losing control and being ordered around so freely, Fedelt reluctantly left the room, leaving the girls behind.
And so, in the room, it was only my acquaintances and the four Magic Stone Human girls.
Naturally, I first addressed the person I was closest to—Rustiara.
“Um, Rustiara… That… Welcome back.”
“Welcome back, Kanami. It’s been so long.”
We exchanged greetings.
Just a simple ‘Welcome back’ and ‘Welcome home,’ but I felt it was the most comfortable greeting of my life.
“Well then, let’s sit down. Oh, everyone, please bring our drinks as well. And put away your weapons.”
With a smile exactly as I remembered, Rustiara sat opposite me as if a year’s blank space had never existed. The fact that she would have the girls who were just fighting to the death serve drinks reminded me of her.
The girls who were called upon hurriedly returned to their original duties.
“Y-Yes! Living God!”
The girls sheathed their weapons and brought new glasses from the wagon, placing them before Rustiara. They then tidied the slightly messy table and began to welcome us anew.
“Yes. Thank you, everyone.”
“No, it’s a great honor to be able to serve the Living God.”
The girls looked at Rustiara with a mixture of admiration and respect.
They seemed more at ease serving Rustiara than they were dealing with Fedelt. As I pondered the relationship between these Magic Stone Humans and Rustiara, our glasses were replaced.
“Master ‘Aikawa Kanami Christ Eurasia Fuziaze von Waltwalker.’ Please, have this. The drink on the other side contains medicine.”
As I suspected, it contained poison or something similar.
Hearing this, Titty, who had been eating and drinking heartily beside me, wore a stunned expression. However, she musingly said, “Eh, ee? Will my stomach hurt…?” so I didn’t worry too much.
What worried me more was my own name.
“…Ah, ah. Thank you.”
I still wasn’t used to being called by a name I so strongly disliked. I thanked her with a pained expression.
Seeing my expression, the girl apologized with apparent anxiety.
“Pe-Perhaps, was my pronunciation of your name poor…? If so, I am truly sorry. We are combat-oriented Magic Stone Humans who do not have general education inscribed in our blood…”
“No, I don’t know the pronunciation either, so it’s fine. But, from now on, when you call me, could you just call me Kanami? I don’t like that name.”
“Just call you by your first name…?”
“There’s no need for hesitation, please. That long name is so itchy…”
“Then… Master Kanami…”
“I don’t need ‘Master’ either. Ah, why did it turn out like this…”
Rustiara laughed upon hearing our conversation.
“Ha, you’re still the same, Kanami. It’s amusing when I look away for just a moment. Don’t try to charm my children, okay!”
She spoke with a gentle smile, like a blooming bud.
“—Hearing this conversation makes it feel like you’ve truly returned, Kanami. Yes, you’ve finally returned… And, of course, you came here first after returning…”
Rustiara looked at Titty and Rainer, my companions, and seemed to deduce my actions since my return.
Honestly, it wasn’t the reaction I had imagined. Rustiara was too calm for someone I hadn’t seen in a year.
Her words were as if she had anticipated my actions.
“Expected…? Rustiara, did you perhaps know where I was during this past year?”
“Hmm. I don’t know the exact location, but I was sure you were alive somewhere. Because it’s you, Kanami.”
Despite my year-long disappearance, Rustiara showed no agitation.
I found her calmness a little odd.
Then again, perhaps I was just overreacting. I resolved to try and be as calm as Rustiara.
“Why were you so sure…?”
“I can only say it was a hunch? My experience and intuition.”
A sense of unease crept in, and I reflexively used ‘Gaze.’
…But it looked the same as always.
The ‘Status’ in ‘Display’ also showed no abnormalities. Using all my skills, I confirmed she wasn’t lying.
It seemed repeating this conversation would only yield the same answers.
I reluctantly steer the conversation back to the main subject.
“…I understand. I’ll take that as you trusting me. In that case, shall we move on to the next topic right away? I’ll tell you what happened after that day.”
“That’s right. That’s what you want to know the most, isn’t it? Alright, let’s take our time and talk. I’ll tell you about what happened a year ago, after the battle with Palinkron ended and the『Shaka Hōkan Jin』was activated…”
As she begins to speak, Rustiara picks up her glass. However, she doesn’t bring it to her lips, only swaying it in front of her chest.
She seems to be carefully digging through her memories as she gazes at the fruit wine’s surface in the glass.
“—On that day, except for Maria, no one else could keep up with me in the battle against Palinkron. I could only wait for Kanami and the others to return by ship, so I waited desperately. I waited, and waited, and waited, and continued to wait… but only Maria returned. Wait, Kanami sent her through《Connection》, didn’t he?”
I recall the battle in the center of the Mainland.
Defeated by Palinkron only with words, I couldn’t save Maria. However, it wasn’t me who used《Connection》at that time.
“No, Hairi did that. She said she sent her to a safe place…”
“Ah, is that so? That’s why Maria-chan appeared near the ship, rather than directly on it. I’m a little convinced now. So Hairi really went there…— risking her life.”
“Yes, Hairi and Rainer risked their lives to come to our aid. Hairi… died there, but Rainer and I managed to defeat Palinkron between us. However, we couldn’t make it out in time and were swallowed by the『Shaka Hōkan Jin』before falling underground. What awaited us beyond was the Labyrinth’s deepest floor, which is why it took so long to return.”
“I see. So that’s why Kanami ended up underground after being swallowed by it. It makes sense that I couldn’t find him anywhere around.”
It was a brief explanation, but Rustiara seemed to grasp the sequence of events after the battle. In turn, she began to talk about the movements of Rustiara and the others.
“On our end, as soon as Maria-chan recovered, we headed to the site of the battle. Even from the edge of the continent, the light from that『Shaka Hōkan Jin』was tremendous, so everyone was in a state of confusion… When we arrived, the place where I thought Kanami had been fighting had turned into a great void, and the surrounding area had become a lava field. I was shocked to see that tens of kilometers around had become barren land where not a single blade of grass grew. The ground was cracked everywhere, so it was difficult to get to the great void.”
I had a faint premonition of such devastation. The last sight I saw was like the end of the world. Rather, I felt relieved that it was limited to just cracks in the earth.
“You probably already know, but we couldn’t find anything there… Honestly, it was terrible back then. Maria-chan was regretting it immensely, Snow was scared of what the future held, Reaper looked lonely, and I was in a daze… Sera-chan, you were quite flustered too, weren’t you?”
It’s easy to imagine.
I know all their expressions better than anyone.
My heart aches… but without hiding my face in regret, I continue listening to Rustiara’s story. Regret may be important, but I can’t afford to be held back by it.
“By the way, Snow was the first to recover.”
However, the words that came back to me, who had been bracing myself, were brighter than I had expected.
“Recovered…? Snow…?”
“It was like Kanami… no, with more reliability than Kanami, she led everyone. So that was Snow’s original personality, huh? I was surprised.”
It’s impossible to imagine.
Certainly, I thought Snow was suited to be a leader. However, I only meant she was suited because of her timid and cautious nature. I can’t believe that lazy Snow led everyone.
“Um, and then… after that, we found out that Aid was at that place on that day, so we went to find him to interrogate him, right? Aid had been acting conspicuously, so it didn’t take long to find him.”
Rustiara continued her story, confirming with Sera-san behind her.
“But by then, the『Ruling King』was already by Aid’s side. Dia, who had been taken over by an Apostle, was also there.”
When I heard the words『Ruling King』, Titty, who had been silent until then, almost sprang up from her waist.
It’s highly likely that『Ruling King』is the body—my body—infused with Hidaki’s soul. I can infer this from what Rainer told me on the 39th Floor.
Coincidentally, I also learned that Apostle Sis formed a cooperative relationship with Aid afterward.
“I thought it was a stroke of luck that Dia was with Aid. First, we decided to get Dia back, and we challenged Aid and his group to a battle. If we could capture Aid, we could slowly extract information about Kanami, so I thought it would be killing two birds with one stone at that time.”
Finding one of our missing companions, it was a natural challenge. It was also the best choice to defeat Apostle Sis there before she could disappear again.
“—But, it was no use. We didn’t have the slightest bit of leeway to capture the enemy. In the end, we fought with all our might, intending to kill both Aid and Apostle Sis. Even so…—”
As the battle with Aid and the others began, a shadow finally crossed Rustiara’s face.
Then, she squeezed out,
“We lost… I couldn’t do anything…”
It was an expression I had never seen before.
She gnashed her teeth, cursing her own powerlessness.
“Ah, I wish I could have saved Dia with my own hands like the heroes in books… But I couldn’t… At that time, without a doubt, I was the least useful…”
After their defeat—it seemed Rustiara was completely useless in that battle.
I was surprised by that statement.
With that group, Rustiara should have been the most active. I wanted to ask in detail what kind of battle it was, but my curiosity was stopped by Rustiara’s distorted expression.
“『The Ruling King』easily brushed me aside with one hand…! As if I were a child…! As if to say I wasn’t on the same level as them…!!”
『The Ruling King』—Hidaki’s Level, the last I saw, was in the single digits.
Judging by the story, not much time should have passed since then.
And yet, there was no contest?
“In the end, how many times did we fight that『Ruling King』…? I think we fought about four times and lost every single one… Every time we fought, the outcome became more and more pathetic, I remember it vividly. Ah, it was so frustrating… Seeing『The Ruling King』get stronger at a terrifying speed felt unreasonable… So, we had no choice but to withdraw before we were completely crushed.”
It seems certain that they never won.
If they had won, Dia and Hidaki would likely be here.
“And then, we were at a loss. We couldn’t get any information out of Aid, and we couldn’t retrieve Dia, so we had to think of another way. Yes, another way—”
When she mentioned that, Rustiara’s expression brightened just a little. Then, with her usual smile, she said something unbelievable.
“However, when thinking about another method—we had a fight with Maria-chan over a slight difference in policy. That’s why only Sera-chan and I are here right now.”
“Huh? Y-you had a fight…?”
I didn’t want to imagine Rustiara and Maria fighting. Only recently, Maria had scraped the surface of the continent with her flame sword. If that had happened where people were, it would have been a major incident.
“Ah, well, things got pretty heated! Everyone was getting frustrated because we kept losing.”
“W-was everyone around okay?”
“Yeah, everyone was safe. Snow did a great job of mediating. And Maria-chan, I think she’s aiming for the deepest part of the new labyrinth that just opened in the west. Reaper is probably there too.”
“…Wait. The story’s moving too fast. A labyrinth that just opened in the west? Is there something like that now?”
“That’s the Great Void that Palinkron and Kanami fought in earlier. For some reason, even though I don’t know why, a similar thing to the labyrinth here has appeared there. Maria-chan chose the ‘method’ of conquering the western labyrinth to gain the strength to recover Dia, and also to search for Kanami.”
Since I disappeared in that Great Void, searching there is a natural course of action.
However, I’m concerned that only Maria and Reaper took that approach. I’ll confirm each unknown point one by one.
“Maria and Reaper are in the new labyrinth, and you and Sera-san are here… Then, where is Snow…?”
“Snow is kind, so she’s helping both me and Maria-chan. Uhm, I think she’s on the mainland right now, running an errand for us? She was supposed to be acting as a proxy for the frontline commander who was injured.”
“Snow is at the frontline of the war…? And she’s even the commander…?”
“Even so, she’s more accomplished than many generals. Things happened, and that’s how it turned out.”
Although I easily found out everyone’s whereabouts, I couldn’t imagine Snow in that role.
A commander is a position that requires uniting people of various personalities and making crucial decisions many times. I couldn’t imagine her handling it.
“Please, Kanami. First, go and bring Snow back. And I’ll apologize in advance. …I’m sorry. Because of us, Snow must be very tired, so please take great care of her. After all, Snow looking that cool isn’t like Snow at all.”
“Ah, I understand. Of course, that’s what I intend to do, but…”
“Once you rendezvous with Snow, it’s Maria and Reaper in the Second Labyrinth City Daril. Will you use a ship as before for transportation? The ‘Living Legend’ is docked at Griad’s port, so feel free to use it. I can issue the transfer deed right away, so don’t worry. Once you rendezvous with everyone, head straight north and take care of Dia. Oh, and—”
“N-no, wait. Just wait a moment.”
I stopped her from efficiently setting up the plan.
It wasn’t that I had a complaint about the route. It just sounded like Rustiara wouldn’t be coming along.
“Could it be, Rustiara… you’re not coming with me…?”
“…Yes.”
She nodded casually.
Then, Rustiara calmly explained the reason.
“Because I’m not strong enough anymore… All I can do is maintain connections with various countries here and support Maria-chan and the others on their journey…?”
“Not strong enough… How can you say that? Didn’t you say you were special?”
“I’m not special anymore. In the past year, the world’s average level has risen sharply. ‘Magic Stone Humans’ are no longer rare. With my current abilities… I’m sure I’d be easily defeated even by Rainer or the Guardians standing there.”
Rustiara must have seen through the abilities of Rainer and Titty with ‘those eyes.’ And she concluded that she couldn’t win against them.
Seeing her overly timid attitude, I couldn’t help but raise my voice.
“Levels are something you can raise from now on! You can catch up quickly!”
“No. Raising my level would be useless. My strength is too complete; there’s no room for growth. While everyone is learning new magic and skills, my basic stats just increase… Compared to Maria-chan and Snow, my growth is far too slow…”
She muttered regretfully in an emotional voice.
I remembered how Arte, the Guardian of the tenth floor, once said that Rustiara’s ‘blood’ had no room for expansion. That might be the fatal delay here.
Emotions I couldn’t understand seemed to be swirling within her.
“So, you’re giving up…? Even though you wanted to adventure so much…”
“That’s why Maria-chan and I fought earlier. When I told her I was giving up because I couldn’t keep up, she got incredibly angry.”
Indeed, Maria would be angry.
Maria surely looked up to Rustiara. Of course, she wouldn’t accept Rustiara giving up and retiring due to her lack of strength.
And so, Rustiara and Maria fought with all their might… yet Rustiara stuck to her decision. She brushed aside Maria’s attempts to stop her and has continued to do so even now, a year later.
When I understood that, I knew that I couldn’t persuade her with half-hearted words.
“There’s no doubt I can’t be of help in battle anymore— That’s why I decided on a different ‘method’ to counter Aid and the others. By using my authority as a Living God, even if I can’t make the South win against the North immediately, I might be able to create a situation where I can talk with either Aid or Apostle Sis on equal footing. If fighting doesn’t work, let’s negotiate.”
*Is that why you returned here and are proactively working?*
The story made sense. I could see it was an effective means.
It might take time, but if I were in a position to decide the fate of Aid and the Apostles when the North won the war, the original objectives of ‘interrogating Aid’ and ‘recovering Dia’ would likely be easily achieved.
However, it was far too roundabout.
And it was too unlike Rustiara.
I thought.
Rustiara accepted my suspicious gaze and looked at the girls standing beside her.
“…Of course. Now, that’s not the only reason I’m here.”
Before I could ask, she stated the reason.
“A lot has happened in the past year. While it’s true that I can’t keep up with everyone’s strength anymore, I also want to stay here to protect these ‘Magic Stone Humans’… These children were born because of me… I believe I have a responsibility to save them. And I believe it’s a battle that only I can fight.”
The girls blushed as Rustiara, a senior ‘Magic Stone Human,’ gazed at them. They were embarrassed with faces mixed with gratitude and admiration.
Judging by their reactions, I understood that there was a very deep bond between these girls and Rustiara.
I can easily imagine Rustiara saving these girls, who must have been treated unfairly in this country. Over the past year, she has likely been helping people like a hero.
Even if she fell behind against “Guardians,” “Ruling Kings,” or “Apostles,” Rustiara would never fall behind against any other enemies. I can picture her protecting the “Magic Stone Humans” with her words and power, just as she did when driving off Fedelt earlier.
I’m starting to understand what Rustiara is trying to say.
It’s a matter of putting the right person in the right place.
Here, Rustiara can save many people. She can also provide rear support for Maria and the others. It’s not wise to foolishly confront overwhelmingly powerful enemies. Therefore, it’s a good strategy to leave those overwhelmingly powerful enemies to those who can defeat them—there’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s not wrong, but…
I want to confirm it because I don’t want to accept this not-wrong reality.
“Is that truly your will…? You’re not lying, are you? It’s not like something’s gone wrong with that Tiara ritual you mentioned, is it?”
“Haha, nothing’s gone wrong, so don’t worry. I’m here of my own volition. Besides, why are you making that face? I’ll always be here, and Kanami can come to see me anytime he wants, you know? Why are you looking like that?”
That’s true.
It’s not like we’re parting ways forever.
There’s no room for argument.
I looked pleadingly towards Sera-san in the back, but she kept her mouth shut and said nothing. As always, Rustiara seemed to be her priority.
Ragune-chan was the same. She didn’t seem inclined to intervene beyond her role.
“—…!”
A strange sense of desperation washed over me, and a bead of sweat trickled down my forehead.
If I remain silent, things will proceed according to Rustiara’s plan.
Rustiara will stay here, and I will head for the mainland.
And I don’t want to accept that plan.
Is it really okay to back down like this…?
—It can’t be.
If I go back now, I will definitely regret it.
The memories I have up to today assure me of that.
…Rustiara is a precious companion.
Now, she has become an even more special companion than that.
When I recall, Rustiara was the first person I met when I woke up in the labyrinth.
Back then, she saved me when I was on the verge of death. It was also thanks to Rustiara that I was able to “Level Up” for the first time.
I reunited with Rustiara soon after and we started exploring together. To me, when my level was low, the presence of a companion was reassuring. She was a little scary, but we got along even better. There was no better companion for labyrinth exploration than her.
And she helped me a lot in the labyrinth.
Because we had a “Contract,” I did many fun things with Rustiara. We went to festivals together, played together, ate snacks together, and talked about various things. I had fun too, not just Rustiara. It was the first time I felt happy in another world.
That’s why, when Rustiara returned to the Cathedral, I went to help her even though she had the skill “???”.
That’s right.
I wanted to save her no matter what.
Later, when I lost my memory, I was able to regain myself thanks to my match with Rustiara. If it weren’t for her, I would probably still be lost in Laura Via now.
I can vividly recall my life on the ship heading to the mainland.
We even hugged on the ship experimentally, blushing at each other. We also practiced magic together. Come to think of it, though it was a rescue, we kissed in the labyrinth. Just thinking about it makes my heart pound even now.
If I’m not mistaken, Rustiara must have felt the same emotions as me at that time.
However, those feelings were lost due to the second skill “???”. But it’s different now. I have upgraded the skill “???” to “The Oath Taker of the Deepest Part” and returned.
Now, having stored up my feelings for Rustiara twice, my feelings burn three times stronger than an ordinary person’s.
And I’ve already realized the true nature of those feelings.
I want Rustiara to come with me not because of her strength.
There’s another reason.
I already knew that before fighting Palinkron that day. That’s why I promised Rustiara that day that I would return to tell her those feelings.
Ah, that’s right—!
I’ve been waiting for this day, this time, this moment for so, so long!
I stand up from my chair.
And, baring my heart completely as if in an “Incantation,” I weave my words—!
“…But! Even so, I want you to come with me!”
“Eh?”
Rustiara was surprised by my sudden shout.
There’s no need to sugarcoat my words.
I know I’m being selfish, which is why I have no choice but to shout directly.
“Let’s go together! Even if you don’t think of yourself as special, you’ve already become special to me! The days I traveled with you were fun! They were incredibly, incredibly fun, and I remember it vividly! That’s why I want to travel with you! I want to be with you forever and ever!! Because, I—!!”
I translate everything I intended to say from this morning into words.
I can tell that the people around me are also surprised by my suddenly rough voice. If it were the old me, I would have hesitated, looking at the situation and the other person’s complexion.
But I won’t do that anymore.
I won’t stop.
My heart races, and my whole body is hot.
Despite the unbearable heat, an icy fear creeps up my spine.
I can feel the mix of excitement and fear in this first challenge of my life.
My legs feel like they’re about to freeze.
But I gather strength in my entire body and shake off that hesitation.
I’ve overcome this level of fear many times.
With my current self, I can shout with all my might.
—I can “Confess” to Rustiara!
“Because! I like you!!”
I like you, so I want you to stay with me.
Yes, I said it clearly.
Rustiara’s mouth hung open in surprise.
It’s natural. After she had so rationally explained why she couldn’t accompany me, she was met with an emotional confession.
It was a confession too straightforward, lacking any pretense or consideration for mood.
Overcome by this almost violent affection, Rustiara’s eyes widened, and then her face gradually turned red.
Her skin, which had been clear and white moments before, now had hot blood coursing through it.
Rustiara nervously darted her gaze from side to side, her body trembling. I could see her mind racing with thoughts.
However, she soon fixed her gaze and body and looked back into my eyes.
“…R-really?”
Then, she asked back softly, her voice trembling slightly.
Doubtfully, like a small animal, she questioned the sincerity of my words.
Really, you say—?
Are you saying these feelings are fake?
That can’t be! How could that be—!
“Ah, it’s definitely settled! Aikawa Uzunami likes a girl named Rustiara Fuziaze! That’s why I’m inviting her now, like this!!”
I repeated my confession.
There was no turning back now.
However, I believed I had made the best choice available to me right now.
Unlike in the past, I hadn’t lied to myself or put it off.
If I hadn’t confessed today, I might never have gotten another chance. I believed I had confessed my feelings cleanly at the perfect moment.
So, no matter what answer I received, I had no regrets.
There was nothing to regret.
Or so I thought—
“—!!”
Upon hearing my second confession, Rustiara’s expression changed.
However, her expression didn’t match any of my predictions.
I had never seen her face before.
Her mouth seemed to curve in happiness, yet her brows were furrowed as if in sadness.
But her eyes were sharp—staring at me.
I clearly felt what lay deep within those golden eyes. It was an overflowing emotion that couldn’t be hidden.
It was neither joy nor sorrow.
If categorized by the emotions, it was ‘anger.’
—Upon being confessed to, Rustiara became angry.
I was bewildered.
It was an unexpected reaction.
And then, in the end, Rustiara averted her gaze and gave her answer to my confession.
Very casually.
Clearly.
She answered.
“—But, I dislike Aikawa Uzunami.”
The answer I received was ‘rejection’—
It was a straightforward ‘rejection’ without any pretense.
Rustiara became angry at my heartfelt ‘confession’—and then ‘rejected’ me.
I couldn’t process that entire sequence of events.
Cracks appeared in my previously fervent expression, and I let out a pathetic sound.
“Wha, what—?”
Leaving me behind, unable to comprehend, Rustiara looked up from her lowered gaze and calmly explained the reason for her rejection, her voice tinged with a hint of anger.
“It’s not a lie. I dislike Uzunami for leaving us behind that day. I’m not saying anything strange, am I?”
I couldn’t retort.
A year ago, I had declared I would win against Palinkron and return, but I ultimately couldn’t.
Rustiara was saying something perfectly logical… or so she should have been, but her words weren’t reaching me.
I didn’t even know what expression I was wearing right now.
Even though I had resolved not to regret any answer I received, I couldn’t move my mouth properly and could only freeze.
A void, as if a chunk of flesh had been ripped from my chest, washed over me.
Fortunately, it was a sensation I was familiar with, so I quickly recognized it as the impact of emotional shock.
But even though I was used to it… I couldn’t process it properly.
The reason for that became clear immediately.
Somewhere in my heart, I must have believed that Rustiara wouldn’t reject my confession.
Arrogantly and unilaterally, I had expected that a connection would remain even after a year. I had naively thought Rustiara would definitely take the hand I extended… I hadn’t properly understood the weight of the battle from a year ago.
I was stunned by the impact, as if holes had been ripped through my body and soul. And Rustiara, seeing that I had no response, offered an alternative.
“…I can’t do it, but I’ll let you take one of the other successful ones. There are plenty of girls who resemble me.”
As Rustiara tried to offer a replacement, I managed to force out a trembling voice, conveying that it was impossible.
“Th-that’s not it…! It’s not about that! Don’t you understand!? It has to be you, it can only be you! I want to be with you, here, now!!”
“But, the others and I aren’t that different… Besides, I’m not as good a person as Kanami thinks. I’ve only ever seen Kanami as the protagonist of a book. I never saw Kanami himself. Just as the protagonist in one of many books… So, if I get tired of that book, I’ll throw it away. That’s the kind of person I am.”
As she explained her reasons, Rustiara’s expression began to change.
Gradually, her angry expression softened back into a smile, and finally, she smiled faintly—
“I guess our book, Kanami’s and mine, have become separate books now. That’s all there is to it. So, that ‘Contract’ is over too.”
Even the ‘Contract’ we shouted in the Cathedral was being severed.
She told me that the connection between us was broken and that our paths had diverged.
“O-over—?”
The sudden and merciless declaration accelerated the chaos in my mind.
Rustiara’s ‘rejection’ had precisely shattered my support, and I had nothing left to rely on. I didn’t know how to fight against this reality.
Perhaps it’s because this isn’t a battle… My mind isn’t working properly.
This time, it’s not about holding onto my feelings powerfully. It’s not about not giving up. So, I don’t know the solution.
While I couldn’t find a way out, my heart only grew colder. My breathing became shallower. Unpleasant sweat continued to pour from my palms. I wanted to scratch my throat.
Why is it… I feel so much like dying. I want to jump from somewhere. I want to disappear.
To be told “I dislike you” by the person you love.
Just that alone… makes the world so, so dark…
“Good luck with your fight, Kanami, between Guardian Aid and Apostle Sis. I’ll be cheering for you from here. So…”
The world was dark and distant, but only Rustiara’s voice could be heard.
“This is goodbye, isn’t it.”
Only the words of farewell were clearly audible.
They were followed by ‘rejection’—words of ‘parting.’
It felt like my heart was being ripped out root and stem.
And so, my ‘confession’ ended, and Rustiara’s response to it also ended.
Seeing me standing there, Rustiara prepared to leave, indicating there was nothing more to say.
I couldn’t stop her.
I could hear Rustiara telling the girls next to her, “Please attend to our guests properly. And please guide them on their way back,” and telling Sera-san, “Grant Kanami and the others permission to use the ship in Griad. And make them an introduction letter too,” but I couldn’t stop her. I could only watch as the situation unfolded.
And as I was swept along by the situation, I slowly began to understand.
I had confessed to Rustiara for the first time in my life, and I had been thoroughly rejected.
Perhaps, what might have been my first love… had withered away.
Watching the darkened world move forward, I came to grasp that reality—
I find it strange that I wrote such a development in the second chapter and then previewed the next chapter as a triumphant march. Perhaps there was something about this protagonist that made this outcome inevitable.
But, looking back from a distance with half-closed eyes, the sixth chapter will undoubtedly be the most triumphant march of all time. Probably.
