I’m calming myself.
Closing my eyes, I fall into meditation.
Two months have passed since Hitaki and Tiara disappeared.
During this entire time, I—Fafnir Helvishein—have been re-examining and organizing my own past.
I certainly believe I was blessed from birth.
Since I was old enough to understand, I was expected by those around me, and I quickly realized I would carry the future of the city on my shoulders.
My parents were influential nobles in the Fanian domain.
In an era when half of all children born suffered from some illness, I had no physical abnormalities whatsoever.
Not to brag, but I was a bundle of talent from birth, and I could have chosen any path for my future. I was convinced that the phrase “chosen person” suited me better than anyone else.
So why did I become the proxy of the “Thief of the Law of Blood”?
Why, in the first place, did I aim for the profession of “Theologian,” and why was I working as a “Senior Staff Member” that day?
My old memories are hazy.
It’s probably because I was summoned a thousand years later after passing through an unfinished “Labyrinth.”
Even so, recalling those memories was an absolutely necessary measure. Since being subjected to “Past Sight” was unavoidable, I had to find my own “Lingering Desire” first.
—When I was young, I, who had a promising future, was invited to the mansions of various nobles.
At first, it was merely social interaction between influential nobles.
However, I soon began to actively visit their mansions myself.
The reason was simple: the books I wanted to read were only available at the “Neisha Family.”
In proportion to my “Aptitude,” I had abundant intellectual curiosity and was interested in all sorts of academic fields.
Starting with languages, then noble education in literature, theology, philosophy, and aesthetics—I was a child who hadn’t even reached double digits in age, yet I surpassed the knowledge of the adults at the time, likely because I had free access to the Neisha Family’s estate from an early stage.
I recall that path.
With my household attendants, I would cross the gates of the Neisha Family’s mansion almost every day.
I would walk down the long corridors and be guided to a private guest room.
Along the way, I would also pass by important figures of that era.
There were two childhood friends with matching short, dark brown hair, always walking side-by-side.
They were Romis Neisha and Teeda Runs, in their early twenties.
Though they would become the lord of Fanian and the “Thief of the logic of darkness” a few years later, they had no interaction with my young self.
I only heard, through rumors, the heartwarming tale of Romis going to extreme lengths to save Teeda when he was in danger, a mere disposable member of a branch family. At the time, I naively thought how enviable it was to have a trusted, like-minded best friend of the same generation—but these two would be sent to investigate the “Lord Flame God” a year later, and there they would encounter the “Apostles.”
And then, only one of the childhood friends was chosen and transformed into the “Dark God.”
As a result, Romis would be exposed to the “Curse” of fire and darkness, have his memories of this mansion stolen, and be made unable to trust even his closest friend, forcing him onto a very long path of solitude…
I don’t feel pity for him.
Under Romis’s orders, I was subjected to an unreasonable “Demonization” experiment.
I will always resent that act. No matter what circumstances Romis had, it cannot be erased. Romis was truly a wicked person. He was a great villain worthy of being cast into hell. Otherwise, where would the resentment of the sacrificed “Demons” be directed? Bearing the souls of many “Demons,” I must never forgive him…
—Chapter Fourteen, Verse One: “No one has a pure end. However, no one has an impure end either.”
That is probably not very important.
Now, the representative of the “Neisha Family” that is important to me is not Romis, but Hermina.
Hermina Neisha, who would later become the “Thief of the Law of Blood,” was truly a beautiful person.
From the moment I met her, she had a bad look in her eyes, a difficult disposition, and peculiar mannerisms.
Nevertheless, she possessed enough charm to elicit the exclamation of “beautiful.”
My relatives and acquaintances would laugh, calling my taste bad or saying I was being deceived, but my feelings never wavered. I can boast of that much, at least.
If I had to describe Hermina Neisha in one word, it would probably be “wise.”
At the time, she was a medical apprentice, studying medicine while running around various parts of the city.
Furthermore, she would sacrifice her sleep, and after her work was done, she would compile her learned knowledge and experiences into books. In regard to the fashionable “Demonic Poison” illness swept through the land, her books far surpassed any specialized text. In other words, she was more of a “researcher” than a doctor.
She was truly wise and accomplished. That is precisely why it remained a mystery to me how she survived when Romis, driven mad by the “Curse,” attempted to usurp the lord’s position.
To secure his own position as lord, Romis unleashed a great purge upon the Neisha Family with the power of the “Lord Flame God.” He betrayed and led his parents to their deaths, and mercilessly expelled his accomplished relatives.
Under the “Curse,” he could no longer trust anyone but himself. His new way of life was that the Fanian domain should only be filled with fools… yet the accomplished Hermina had survived.
Even if she was a necessary person for the completion of “Blood Power,” it was a lenient judgment uncharacteristic of Romis.
In fact, a few years later, Romis had his lord’s seat taken by Hermina.
—Now, a thousand years later, I can think about it calmly.
I have not gained new information in this era, nor do I have any concrete evidence.
It is merely that I am viewing the story I saw on stage a thousand years ago with a slightly different perspective now.
I always thought that in the story of Fanian in the New Calendar Year 0, the protagonist was Kanami and the villain was Romis Neisha.
However, the truth is different for both the protagonist and the villain.
I suspect that the true mastermind who led the “Lord Flame God” and “Dark God” to ruin was—
—Chapter Twelve, Verse Two: “Protect your limited time. Your laziness will harm all.”
This, too, is probably not very important now.
What formed the foundation of my life was not those battles or tragedies.
It was much earlier than that.
The knowledge Hermina taught me in my childhood has shaped the Fafnir Helvishein of today.
As a child, I sincerely believed there was no one wiser than Hermina.
So, I would follow her around everywhere, and she would teach me her techniques and knowledge.
It turned out to be a perfect decision in hindsight.
The Neisha Family was the foremost noble family in Fanian, possessing many inherited books. Furthermore, the few traveling merchants who came by always made it a point to stop at the Neisha Family residence, gathering external knowledge and skills. Hermina had a kind and accommodating personality, and just watching her work as a medical apprentice provided knowledge that was difficult to obtain normally.
—However, during that period of observation, there was one place I couldn’t follow her.
It was deep within the “Demon Affliction Research Institute.”
I had been given the position of “Senior Staff Member” and could enter various rooms. But I was not allowed to accompany her to the deepest underground chambers where important experiments were conducted.
I was dissatisfied.
It wasn’t because I was being treated like a child, being told “later, when you’re a bit older.”
It was because, when she headed to the deepest underground part of the institute, Hermina brought along a girl about my age.
She was a girl with long, dark brownish-red hair, her pupilless eyes gleaming dully.
From her simple white clothes, it was clear she was a “Junior Staff Member.”
However, seeing her follow Hermina as if she were her assistant made me feel it was unfair. Although I was told she was just a cleaner, Hermina clearly trusted the girl and appeared to be teaching her various things directly. Protesting this favoritism towards someone my own age—
“—However, I am a ‘Candle that exists only in the abyss.'”
“Huh? …Eh? No, I just want to know your name.”
“Therefore, your meaningless, rude, and mistaken approach is unacceptable. Please, I ask for your understanding.”
“…………”
I clearly remember how I couldn’t communicate with the cleaning girl at all.
I had heard that as the “Demonic Poison” illness progressed, it was not uncommon for people to become like that. However, this was my first actual encounter, and it confused my young self, leaving me no choice but to accept the favoritism.
However, I didn’t give up easily because of that.
I tried to communicate with that girl several times—but with each meeting, her symptoms worsened, and in the end, I couldn’t even exchange self-introductions.
No…
I felt like I had heard the name somewhere, just once.
But the name… for some reason, I couldn’t recall it. It was an era where people generally didn’t introduce themselves unless they were of noble birth. It simply didn’t leave much of an impression. Was it Sheryl? No, was it Michelle? I felt like there was a “She” sound in there somewhere. Back then, I thought that “She” whatever her name was, the cleaner, was an “unfortunate” person, yet I also thought of her as my first friend of the same age.
She was also the one who first made me confront the sickness of Demonic Poison.
To be honest, I had always considered the sickness of Demonic Poison as something that happened to other people. It was probably because I was born into a wealthy family with a sturdy body. I was indifferent, thinking it had nothing to do with me, but I reflected that it was the arrogance of a possessor—no, I reflected while still being arrogant and started to turn my attention to the “unfortunate” people as well.
Then, I learned that the city of Fanian was barely being maintained.
Not only the girl who couldn’t speak, but even Herumina, who was born an aristocrat, needed help. After all, patients appeared almost every day, and they were made to promise, “I will surely save you someday,” and were forced to witness death repeatedly.
Even to an outsider, it seemed terrifyingly painful, “unfortunate,” and arduous for the child…
Naturally, I began to wonder how I could help Herumina.
Wanting to be of even a little help, I learned about the profession of a “theologian.”
Along with the word “theologian,” what came to mind was Herumina’s research laboratory.
Compared to an aristocratic mansion, it wasn’t a very clean room.
However, it was located in a place where both “upper-level staff” and “lower-level staff” could stay.
A cleaner who did the cleaning and served meals in this shallow underground room.
Herumina, who silently wrote her research results in books at her desk.
And me, leaning my back against the wall in a corner, reading a book.
The three of us could always spend quiet time there together.
Among the books scattered in the research lab that Herumina owned, I found one.
I think now that it might have been my beginning and my Lingering Desire.
As a child, I had a habit of muttering the contents of books I read.
At that time too, my habit of muttering made my voice echo in the quiet room.
“—Heh, a Winged Human, huh. Are these the gods that truly existed a thousand years ago? They split the sea with a single fingertip… And just by stroking the earth, fruit trees sprout, emitting divine light and healing all illnesses…? It’s like Magic…, geez…”
The book I found was the oldest religious text passed down in Fanian.
It was the “Scripture of the Hakuhi Religion.”
I became obsessed with that book.
However, what attracted me as a child was not the depth of the Hih’s teachings or the beauty of its precepts.
It was simply that the “gods” who appeared had overwhelming power, which tickled my childish curiosity.
But it was ideal as a first step in learning, and I soon began to research the “local gods” connected to the oldest Hih as well. The more I read, the more new “gods” appeared, so my hands couldn’t stop turning the pages.
“—This one is the Artofel religion, the Lord Flame God? Fanian has such land gods sleeping here. And a God of Harvest, a God of the Sun… there are so many. But the best one is the first Winged Human, right? They’re definitely strong, they’re messing with the World’s Principles.”
I devoured many “scriptures.”
Fortunately, many of the books in Herumina’s room were from outside Fanian, making it ideal for studying theology.
However, as I read on smoothly—at some point, one thing snagged my attention.
“But if there are so many gods… couldn’t even one of them… do something about the dark clouds over this world for us—”
If just one god would descend and generously bestow their Miracle.
Just that would save everyone.
The cleaner here, and Herumina too.
Not just Fanian, but all the people in the world suffering from Demonic Poison—
The two of them heard my muttering.
The cleaner, a lower-level staff member, stopped their cleaning.
Likewise, Herumina stopped her hand that was running across the paper.
It was the adult Herumina who answered my muttering.
Without mocking my childish wish to “meet a god,” she faced me directly.
“Gods don’t easily appear. The role of the gods is to watch over us as we overcome our Ordeals… Isn’t that written near the beginning? Uhm, I believe it’s in Chapter 1, Verse 7: ‘An Ordeal is a gift of hope and fortune. It will always leave proof that you have moved on to tomorrow.'”
“…Ah, that’s exactly what it says. As expected, Herumina! …But are they just watching? The gods?”
“Yes. Don’t you feel like you can do your best tomorrow if you think that the gods are watching over you?”
That is the most important spirit in theology.
Herumina gently conveyed that to me at the very beginning, but my childish self only pouted.
“No. I don’t feel that at all. I only think, why aren’t they helping me?”
“…But if the gods easily help with Magic, won’t it be difficult the next time something happens? It’s not guaranteed that the gods will help every time. However, if we overcome Ordeals, we can overcome many hardships with our own strength.”
“Even without doing that, it would be easier if the gods used Magic continuously…”
“That’s right. You’re absolutely correct. …But by overcoming Ordeals, I believe that Magic will someday no longer belong only to the gods. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone could use Magic? Then you won’t have to worry about anything anymore.”
“We, would use Magic? …Well, if we could really use Magic, that would be great. But it’s not realistic at all! It’s impossible for ordinary humans like us to use Magic!”
I was truly not suited to be a Thief of Principles.
It was probably because of this personality that I was never noticed by any Apostle.
And to my impolite and rude remarks, Herumina always patiently enduring them and gently advised me.
“It might not be possible in our generation. But in the generation after us, and the generation after that… if we try our best little by little, someday… perhaps in about a thousand years, we might truly be able to use it? If we continue to overcome Ordeals earnestly now, in the generation of our descendants, they will be able to use Magic and live very happy and prosperous lives. Isn’t that full of hope and good fortune?”
Herumina rebuked me like that.
I think she skillfully wove practical advice into the conversation, telling me to do what I could now, one step at a time.
However, naturally, I couldn’t accept that and continued to pout.
…
Thinking back, at this point, Herumina had already mentioned a thousand years. It was likely the period when she had begun to devise her “Five-Stage Thousand-Year Plan,” which would be completed after her death, judging that it wouldn’t be achieved within her lifetime.
Originally, that plan should have been much more realistic than wishing for gods to appear.
In reality, it should have been best for everyone to gradually work together.
“Eh… in a thousand years? That’s too late. It’s completely too late!! You need to save ‘our world,’ not ‘the world of our descendants,’ otherwise it means nothing! What needs saving isn’t in a hundred years or a thousand years, but now! We who are here now are wishing to be saved! But why…? Why—”
I raised my voice. However, I quickly realized I was being selfish and suppressed it.
Seeing my attitude, Herumina didn’t dismiss me as “young” or “foolish” but continued to consult with me earnestly.
“Why indeed. …There are many people like you now who ponder ‘why?’. For such people, most gods have representatives. They sometimes send down those who speak for them to the Earth through means like sharing their spirit or possession. —Could you lend me that book for a moment?”
Among that consultation, it was there.
The existence that would continue to haunt me from now until my death, and even after my death.
“That is what we in the Neisha Family call the ‘Great Savior’,” Helmyna said. Standing up, she approached me and, without hesitation, picked out the “Scripture of the Hakuhi Religion” from a stack of books. Turning the pages as if recalling distant memories, she showed me a line where the words “Great Savior” were written.
The speed at which she found the page suggested she had read the “Scripture of the Hakuhi Religion” many times. Perhaps she had even memorized it. That’s why she had so easily recited a passage during our conversation earlier.
“The, ‘Great Savior’…?” I asked. “Not an ‘Apostle’ or a ‘Saint’? How strong is this person?”
“They are people who spread the teachings of God, so it’s not about being strong or anything… They can borrow the power of God and perform various ‘Miracles’ to help people,” Helmyna explained.
“They can do what God does without being God? And they help us—?”
Hearing the explanation, my young self immediately understood with a “I see” and then became excited with a “This is it!” The appearances of the gods depicted in the book were all solemn and beyond compare. Some gods were so noble that just looking at them could make one faint, while others were larger and hotter than the sun, often causing trouble just by appearing.
Frankly, they were all difficult to even imagine. But if it were a representative, that would be a different story. In fact, I could finally form a clear image. It was an image of the “Great Savior” appearing in the land of Fanian with a divine light that heals everyone’s illnesses—
“However, I believe it’s better to overcome ‘Ordeals’ than to wait for the ‘Great Savior’. By accumulating knowledge and experience, and connecting our feelings, many people will be born who can become ‘Great Saviors’ in distant generations… That would be much more wonderful. After all, relying on just one amazing person… isn’t that a bit pathetic?”
For some reason, Helmyna spoke about the “Great Savior” with apparent unease. Of course, the young me couldn’t empathize with the feeling of “pathetic.”
“Everyone becoming a ‘Great Savior’? Ehhh… First of all, is this ‘Great Savior’ something you can become by trying? I feel like it’s something you’re born with.”
“You can become one. If you keep trying, anyone can reach their aspirations someday. …We have reached ours, …right?”
At that point, Helmyna spoke to the cleaning lady. The girl, who had been silent all along, smiled softly and slowly nodded. It felt like there was a secret connection between them as women. I felt a little jealous and, in my immaturity, tried to decipher their unspoken understanding by latching onto their words.
“You’ve reached yours? Even someone amazing like you, Helmyna, had people you admired?”
“Of course, many. For example, the person who wrote that book. And the author of this book…!,” Helmyna exclaimed, clapping her hands as if I had asked just the right question, and pointed to the books in the room one after another.
“And this book! …I’ve admired the people who passed down knowledge and experience to our generation since I was a child. They were all incredible, and I couldn’t easily understand them at first, they seemed so far away… But as I tried to become like them, I gradually began to understand. —I started to feel like I was becoming like them.”
“No, I don’t doubt you can become a scholar, Helmyna. But surely, everyone becoming a ‘Great Savior’ is a bit of a stretch…”
“…Perhaps. But by imagining and pretending, we gradually get closer to the ‘real thing’. I want to believe that. …Besides, it doesn’t have to be in our generation.”
Helmyna brushed aside my objection and again said “we,” laughing with the cleaning lady. I couldn’t quite grasp what Helmyna was saying, yet the two of them understood each other without words, through their eyes. I sensed a kind of connection I didn’t possess. And also, a slight sense of exclusion. It was more than enough for my young self to sulk.
“I think it’s faster to look for a ‘Great Savior’ than to work hard step by step! …Because there are so many religious books here, aren’t there? So many gods that people believed in. Then, it’s not strange for a savior to appear in this world shrouded in dark clouds. They should appear, they surely will—”
As a result of my sulking, I, like a true child, fully supported the ‘Great Savior’ and disliked the steady progress of science. My words, driven by emotion, were also my true feelings. After all, the slow, steady path was thoroughly unsuited for me. Just thinking about a thousand years later gave me a headache. Honestly, I didn’t care about future generations, not even the next child’s generation.
What mattered to me was “now.” Right now, Helmyna… and incidentally, the cleaning lady over there. If the ‘world we live in’ isn’t saved, nothing has any meaning to me. I don’t think I said anything strange. The smiles I wanted to see were not those of descendants I might or might not have, but the smiles of the two people standing before me—
Perhaps that’s why I chose theology. I finished digging up that memory from the word ‘theologian’. Looking back coolly, I feel like there wasn’t really a reason. I was simply drawn to the pleasant sound of theology and went with the flow. I probably thought that since I couldn’t possibly catch up to Helmyna’s medical skills or her research on the ‘Demonic Poison,’ I could help in another field. Simply put, it’s probably most accurate to say I succumbed to the prevailing trend at the time.
The dark-clouded era back then was truly desperate in many ways. Therefore, the only paths that seemed to offer a solution were “God” or “Miracles”—easy and clear options.
Ah, that’s right… If there was a reason, it’s because it was easy… That’s the most fitting explanation. At the time, it was popular and seemed like the easiest path, so I chose theology. Back then, my young self was definitely trying to take the easy way out.
—Even in a hellish era or place, finding a sliver of ease. That was one of the powers of the theology I chose. It was probably what Helmyna and the cleaning lady needed most—but I never realized it until I died, nor was I able to give it to anyone. Because, before I could realize it as an adult, a ‘God’ truly appeared before me.
The greatest misfortune—or perhaps fortune? Fortunately or unfortunately, one of the many religious books in Helmyna’s room happened to be the ‘real deal.’ The Hakuhi Religion’s god, ‘Noi El Lieberl,’ casually dispatched an ‘Apostle’ and, on the condition of saving the world, even summoned a ‘Foreigner’—who would then visit by chance. The ‘Light God,’ ‘Kanami Aikawa,’ who heals all illnesses with the power of light, would appear, and I would be his guide.
“—Welcome. If you called me, is this a special case?”
A ‘Foreigner’ with black hair and black eyes, and the ‘Princess’ of Fuziaze. I met the awaited beings with surprising ease. However, I mistook them. The true ‘Great Savior’ was Tiara, not Kanami. In fact, the fact that Kanami was a mass of ‘Curse’ was something I didn’t realize until I lost to ‘Rustiara Fuziaze,’ who was cheerfully laughing in a world a thousand years later.
I received a new character design for one person (surprised + happy)! I will report on my thoughts regarding the cover of Volume 12, which can be seen on the official website, in next week’s “Activity Report.” By the way, the cover of Volume 12 is Aid!
Now, for the usual reports—
* The manga adaptation of “Aim for the Deepest Part of the Otherworldy Labyrinth” has been decided. It will begin around the end of July on ComicGardo (I believe!). More details will be provided in the Activity Report. New information will also be there.
* Also, “Aim for the Deepest Part of the Otherworldy Labyrinth Vol. 12” will be released on July 25th. Thank you for your support.
…As for the main story, I apologize. It’s a bad habit. I’ll bring it to a battle in the next installment.
