Jiro Tanaka, 28, Married
Wife: Suella Handelberg
Memoria Tris
Occupation: Dungeon Tester (Full-time Employee)
Magic Aptitude: 9 (Quasi Demon Lord Class)
Position: Warrior
“Haa, Senpai, so you’re finally getting married too, huh? I kind of expected it, but it happened sooner than I thought, Min-chan.”
“From my perspective, it was already in the final countdown, so I can only say it was bound to happen. They say marriage is the grave of life, but that probably doesn’t apply to our leader.”
Kaido and Minami were conversing over my back as I silently filled out the necessary documents for my marriage.
News of my marriage with Suella spread through the company in an instant, all because of the place where I proposed. This was despite the fact that it happened during an event. As the saying goes, you can’t put a lid on people’s mouths. The day after I proposed, every employee I passed congratulated me, teased me, and even expressed their jealousy. Our company has a custom where gossip is a form of entertainment, but as the person involved, I now understand how annoying it truly is. A week has passed, and this situation hasn’t changed, and the two behind me are no exception.
“You two have been smirking and chatting away so happily. If you’re here to congratulate me, then drop those teasing expressions. If not, do you want to have a spar with me?”
“YESSIRRR!!”
If this were just happening yesterday, I might have let it slide with a wry smile. But after so many days, I’m frankly sick of this kind of response. That’s why I decided to put my foot down with a sharp tone, accompanied by an instructor-trained smile. I glance sideways to confirm their rigid salute and return to my paperwork.
Marrying an otherworlder involves more than a regular international marriage. For me, who has a household registration here, marrying them isn’t just a matter of praying to the gods and calling it a day, as a story might conclude. It requires extensive arrangements in various aspects, and the sheer volume of paperwork is several times that of the reports I usually create. To be blunt, the documents related to the marriage itself are minimal. Moreover, even after marrying Suella and the others, I will remain single in Japan according to official records. After all, if I report my marriage to them on public documents, the country wouldn’t just sit idly by, given our species. Or perhaps I should say race in this case? Therefore, most of the paperwork naturally consists of insurance procedures to handle any issues that might arise. Although we operate openly, our dungeon management business is top-secret. If it were to be exposed, things would get dangerous. There’s also the paperwork for vetting guests who I might invite to the wedding, such as my relatives and acquaintances, to ensure they are permitted to attend. The more people I invite, the more documents there are, forcing me to consider the number of people I can actually invite. Suella and the others are beings from the other side, so they have very little paperwork on their end, making these documents my responsibility. I could do this in my own room, but the Party Room is more convenient for urgent matters or when I need to move around. So, even while being pestered by these idle individuals, my hands don’t stop as I continue to create documents.
“You two are so foolish. You know it’s not like there’s no retort when you tease Jiro-san.”
“Honestly, I want to congratulate Senpai on becoming so fulfilled in life, but at the same time, I’m also jealous of him!”
“Exactly!! Nationality, gender, none of that matters!! Those who are fulfilled in life have a duty to accept envy!! They are bound to be envied!!”
“Isn’t that’s just the statement of a loser who doesn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”
“GUH!?”
Even on days when we don’t go to the dungeon, Kitamiya, who was reading a fashion magazine on the newly placed sofa in the Party Room where people tend to gather, scolds Kaido and Minami with an exasperated tone. However, her words hit their mark perfectly, sending the two, who had momentarily regained their composure, back down to the floor. But, like zombies rising from the dead, they quickly recovered.
“… You know, Kitamiya-chan, you don’t have one either!! I don’t want to hear that from you!! You probably just have unrealistic standards and can’t find a guy you like, right?!”
“… That’s right!! It’s not that I *can’t* find a boyfriend, it’s that I *choose* not to!! Unlike Kitamiya and Kaido-senpai, I’ve never been rejected!! Furthermore, I am undefeated. Kaido-senpai is on a losing streak, so don’t lump us together!!”
“Minami-chan!?”
“You two just said things you shouldn’t have to me. Especially you, Minami!! After I swiftly deal with Kaido, I’m going to completely freeze that smug face of yours solid!”
“Kitamiya-chan, why are you treating me so harshly too!?”
“Take it easy, all of you.”
I have willingly stepped on a tiger’s tail. Minami is subtly launching friendly fire, but it’s business as usual. I casually warn the noisy ones and continue writing my documents, using their chatter as BGM. Their playful antics, utilizing the full power of their Magic Crests, cause no damage to the room. The occasional cushion thrown at me is caught without looking and thrown back at the thrower. With this, I know how far I can go without them escalating further, and they’ll likely make up afterward. In the worst-case scenario, things wouldn’t spiral out of control. Normally, Katsu or Amelia would step in to mediate, but unfortunately, they are at school. Therefore, subduing them by force would be too troublesome, so I’ll just let them be. I meticulously move my pen.
“As for this document…”
Just as I was about to check the attached documents for content related to another matter, my phone rang.
“Who is it? … Oh.”
If it were someone from within the company, like Suella or Memoria, they would use telepathic communication. I have no memory of giving my personal phone number to other testers. Katsu and Amelia should be in class at this hour. I thought it was just a free acquaintance calling, but as I saw the number displayed on my smartphone screen, my body instinctively reacted.
“Yes, hello?”
Still, I couldn’t just not answer.
“What’s wrong, Mother? Did something happen?”
Especially since the person calling me was my mother. I pressed the call button, trying to sound as normal as possible, while wondering if it was a coincidence that she called at this particular moment, given her usual laissez-faire attitude.
“It’s been a while, Jiro. What do you mean, you found a wife? I felt like calling you like this. You’re getting on in years. How is it? Is she someone I might be able to see my grandchild from?”
“…”
Facing my mother’s hearty and boisterous laughter on the other end of the line, I was left speechless. She had precisely cut to the core of the matter, making it impossible to simply state that I already have grandchildren. Her words made me feel as though she possessed an intuition that would make even a stalker pale with envy, yet it’s all based on her intuition, which is unmanageable. It’s always been like this. She claims it’s just a hunch, but when she says it will rain, it will rain that afternoon, even when the weather forecast predicts clear skies with a zero percent chance of precipitation. When I’m driving, even on weekdays and at times when the road should be empty, she’ll say it’s crowded, and if I take a detour, there’s genuinely a traffic jam. I’ve basically never been able to hide anything from her. Even with test answers, she could accurately predict all the scores just by looking at random numbers. As a child, I truly believed my mother’s intuition was on the level of future prediction.
“Haa, is it your usual intuition again? By the way, if you called from this number, does that mean you returned to Japan, Mother?”
My mother’s job was a far cry from housekeeping, something akin to a bodyguard (provisional) for my father, a photographer who traveled the world. Because of this, she was rarely in the country, and the only times I could reliably contact her were when she proactively called or during our one-week New Year’s homecoming. For my father, who photographs uncharted territories, my mother’s intuition is a lifeline. I remember his words from high school, upon returning from overseas with my parents, about avoiding a sniper’s bullet. At the time, I wondered what they were doing, and simultaneously, I resolved as a child to pursue a normal job, no matter how famous or wealthy I became.
“You’re not denying it, so my intuition wasn’t wrong, then. Good, good, my plane ticket wasn’t wasted.”
It’s impossible to reach my parents through a regular smartphone. That’s why I had been postponing the news of my marriage, but it seems my mother saw right through that. With her cheerful laughter and newfound certainty, there was no way I could keep it a secret any longer. Regarding the plane ticket, I thought she should at least confirm before coming, but my mother is not someone who would be deterred by mere complaints like that. After all, she’s the kind of mother who, when I had just entered high school, tossed me a bankbook and sent me off to live alone with my father, saying, “You’ll be fine.” As a result, my housekeeping skills improved out of necessity, but it’s the kind of neglect that could have easily led to one or two wrong turns during adolescence. I still amaze myself for having exercised self-control. However, the amount in the bankbook was so daunting that I couldn’t easily spend it. Perhaps another reason I didn’t go astray was that, while not explicitly told, she would conveniently return from trips and attend school events like parent-teacher conferences.
“Yeah, that’s right. I wanted to introduce them, but you and Father usually only come back for New Year’s. I didn’t contact you because I figured you’d be unreachable otherwise. Also, if you’re in Japan, is Father back too?”
“He’s back. After all, it’s your only son’s major life event. When I told Ichiro that I felt you had found a wife, he even cut short his photography expedition deep in the Guiana Highlands.”
I can imagine the scene again, her likely saying that out of the blue while looking up at the sky in the depths of the jungle. It’s one thing for parents to act on such a hunch, but I realize lately that I inherited blood from these two. After all, the work I do now is hardly what one would call normal. I suppose that’s enough to know I’m their child.
“So? Where are you now? At the airport?”
“No, I was planning to come to your house, but… MAO Corporation? I saw this building and figured you must be here. I’m at a café nearby. Did you change companies from your previous one?”
“Wha!?”
I involuntarily leaped up from my chair. And then I realized that my mother’s intuition could even penetrate awareness-hindering barriers. While she’s my mother, I couldn’t help but feel her abilities were strange during this exchange.
“What is it? Did you do something you shouldn’t have?”
It’s a foolish question to ask “how” she knew, given her extraordinary intuition. Furthermore, it’s against regulations to discuss magic or the inner workings of this company with outsiders. That’s precisely why the frustration of not being able to tell her that she broke through the barrier to find my location is so maddening. Mother, you weren’t a hero in your youth, were you? If you told me you saved another world, I’d believe you with all my heart right now.
“Anyway, I have my own schedule. You’ll be free for a while, won’t you? I’ll sort things out, so just wait a bit. You’ve booked a hotel, right?”
“I figured as much and canceled my work. The hotel… I can manage. I’ll be staying in Japan for two weeks, so show me your wife during that time. Well, she’s a girl you chose, so she can’t be that bad.”
I’m sorry, Mother. It’s not just one daughter. It’s daughters. I never expected to bypass your intuition in this way, but adjusting my schedule is more important right now. With a final, hearty laugh of “I’m looking forward to it,” I ended the call.
“I was too lenient.”
“S-Senpai, what’s wrong? You suddenly raised your voice.”
“My mother’s back.”
“Whoa!? Your mother!? Could it be because you’re getting married, Senpai?”
“Yeah, I heard it from her directly. She said she just had a feeling, so she came back. On top of that, she even found my location.”
“What!? But this company has barriers in place, right?”
“Yeah, it should.”
“…Senpai, your mother is as usual, then.”
“Even though she’s my mother, she’s too unbelievable.”
Kaido, who has met my mother, knows her exceptional nature. So, when I said my mother was back, the conversation was understood. Minami and Kitamiya have question marks floating over their heads, but I don’t have time to explain. Besides the documents I’m currently working on, I need to create documents for meetings. I also need to inform Suella and the others. Whether the timing is good or bad, I don’t know, but regarding my parents… it won’t end quietly. If anything, my father might want to visit the other world if he learns of its existence. My mother might sense my intention to visit Suella and Memoria’s parents and decide to tag along.
“Well, let’s consider it a time-saver.”
At least I can’t just sit around. I have things to do.
Jiro Tanaka, 28, Married
Wife: Suella Handelberg
Memoria Tris
Occupation: Dungeon Tester (Full-time Employee)
Magic Aptitude: 9 (Quasi Demon Lord Class)
Position: Warrior
Today’s Quote:
Who would have predicted that rather than receiving a report, they would come to me.
This concludes this chapter.
I’ve always wanted to write about such eccentric parents.
How was it?
I hope you enjoyed it.
Thank you for your continued support of this work.
