“Haa haa haa…”
When was the last time I collapsed like this, spread out like a starfish?
When I first joined the company, I was beaten up by Suella and rigorously trained by the instructors until my legs wouldn’t stand, lying on the ground like this every day. But it’s more accurate to say I was unconscious rather than just lying down.
Thinking about when else I’ve been so exhausted, I realize there are quite a few cases where I’ve been battered similarly, and a smile creeps onto my lips.
My breathing is heavy, my lungs ache from overuse, but my facial muscles seem to still have some room to move.
Beyond that, however, nothing seems to work.
My body is depleted of oxygen, and my heart pounds furiously, trying to supply the missing air.
My arms and legs have gone numb, and I can’t tell if I’m applying force or not.
The only thing I can feel is the weight of the Ore Tree I’ve been holding onto.
“Haa, haa.”
My gaze remains fixed on the sky.
My breathing is gradually calming, but it’s still ragged.
During a normal training session, the supervisor or Instructor Fushio would have called out to me, asking how long I planned to sleep, but there’s no sign of that.
“You’ve grown this much, I never would have expected it.”
“Hahaha! Look, Undead King! My magic sword has been cut!”
Instead, a cheerful laugh echoes from somewhere.
In my hazy consciousness, I trace the origin of the voice and see the supervisor, grinning as she looks at a severed magic sword, and the instructor, nodding in admiration with his hand on his chin.
She’s quite beautiful when she smiles, I dimly observe, and decide to recover my body while things are peaceful.
My entire being, every bit of my focus, concentrated on striking down the one thing I thought of. That single stroke shattered the supervisor’s imagination and unleashed a blow beyond her wildest estimations.
Cutting through a sword. It sounds simple, but cutting an object that isn’t even fixed in place is a feat that can’t be described with a simple word like “difficult.”
And it’s not like I could perform such a technique so easily.
There might be an element of luck involved, but more than that…
“…”
Something connected, and that feeling allowed me to sever the supervisor’s magic sword.
My breathing calms. In that moment, in that instant, the less than one second, no, the infinitesimally small fraction of time where I believed I could cut it, I seized it, and in that moment, I gave it my all, thinking this was my only chance.
And the remuneration for that was this state.
“I can’t feel any strength in my body.”
I feel a terrifying sensation as I realize I’ve used up my latent magic power for the first time.
I experience the real feeling of depletion.
Is it emptiness? Everything in my body feels hollow.
It’s not hunger, but an indescribable sense of void.
Yet, this listless feeling, this desire to not think about anything, is precisely what I need right now.
I don’t want to think. I just want to surrender to this sensation.
“He said, ‘Face him and do your best.'”
Still, Instructor Fushio’s words surface unexpectedly.
Why did he say such a thing to me? I couldn’t ask for details, and I can’t afford to dwell on it given my current situation.
The problem of my relationship with the supervisor changing.
I’m overwhelmed by the complexity of that issue.
So, the time I can immerse myself in battle like this has become a perfectly timed break for me, who struggles with how to worry.
“…What am I supposed to do?”
To be involved with three women, Suella, Memoria, and Himik, and then to consider the supervisor. It’s too much to ask of a former salaryman and corporate slave.
Furthermore, she, whom I had only seen as a superior until now, told me to see her as a woman, not directly, but the nuance was certainly there.
During this training, there were many times I consciously noticed her as a woman.
But each time, I chastised myself. However, the words the supervisor said to me the other day, and hearing about the political marriage, gave me a “get out of jail free” card, releasing me from the need to restrain myself. Now I don’t know what to do with this card.
The fact that it’s a legitimate excuse has only made my thoughts more tangled.
What should I do? What am I supposed to do? Lately, when I’m not training, this is all I think about.
Meanwhile, I continue my training, and time keeps passing.
There’s no deadline, but I feel it’s wrong to keep her waiting indefinitely. As I agonize over this, this training is finally reaching its climax. The end is in sight.
I catch myself thinking such trivial things while the supervisor happily rejoices, and I reflect on myself, wondering if it’s okay. But then I shrug it off, thinking I can’t move my body anyway.
And then, I rested spread out like this. However, my body’s recovery ability, honed by training, is nowhere near what it was. I was able to move again in no time.
Without much clarity of thought, the training for today came to an end.
“…Phew.”
I smoke a cigarette in my room, tired from another day, but my worries don’t vanish like the smoke.
Rather, like the smell of the smoke, they cling to me and fill my thoughts.
“A political marriage, I never even thought about that.”
In fact, I never imagined a day would come when I’d be in such a position.
From what I’ve heard, it’s an arrangement for the company’s benefit.
It’s beneficial for both me and the company. A win-win situation.
Normally, this would be an offer I’d jump at, but somewhere in my heart, I can’t quite commit, and so I continue to worry.
What should I do? Should I refuse?
If I want to advance my career, I should embrace this offer. But can I treat the supervisor like a political pawn? My feelings say I can’t.
Then, should I try to love the supervisor? But I only recently learned about her private life. Can that alone lead to a romantic relationship? My overthinking nature causes me to fret about such things.
Is this what having a harem is like? I let out a heavy sigh, feeling pathetic for my own clumsiness.
“If only I could just act on my desires without thinking, it would be so much easier.”
I haven’t discarded my Japanese common sense enough to even think that.
Haa, I sigh three times, and find myself falling into a loop of thinking, “Why did it have to turn out this way?”
“…This is troublesome.”
But I’ve recently been thinking more and more about why I have to worry so much, and the words finally slip out.
After all, I was originally an ordinary person who just wanted to build a peaceful, happy family.
Then, by chance, I started dating Suella. And before I knew it, I was officially dating the wonderful women, Memoria and Himik.
I don’t have high status or fame.
I don’t have a fortune either.
My appearance might be considered decent, but I’m not an exceptionally handsome man.
I want to have the capacity to give my all to the women who like me, but I constantly belittle myself, wondering if that alone is enough to satisfy them.
“…No, my thoughts are turning negative.”
It was the same at my previous company. When I couldn’t finish my work, I’d blame myself for my poor efficiency, and my thoughts would darken. The best way to overcome that is to resign oneself to it, but even that takes unexpected effort.
No, perhaps it’s better called decisiveness.
“…In short, it’s just that I can’t choose.”
I finally admit that I’ve been making excuses for myself for a long time.
As a man, my social status, public perception.
The common sense that is necessary in various aspects has been binding my thoughts, but at the root of it, it’s a matter of my will – what I want to do.
I’ve been neglecting that will and only caring about external influences.
Once I realize that, it feels like I naturally understand what I should do.
“Ah, what is it? It’s simpler than I thought.”
Do I like her or not?
Will I advance my career or not?
Who knows until I try? I laugh at my own thoughts, asking myself why I’m cowering without even trying.
The world might be complicated, but perhaps it’s because I’m overcomplicating things myself.
“Alright, if that’s the case, let’s tackle things one by one.”
It’s the same with work. Even if something is troublesome, if you just start with the first step, it will eventually be finished. It’s that simple.
I extinguish the tip of my cigarette in the ashtray. Deciding to act, I check the time. Judging that there’s still time, I quickly take a shower and change.
This is the time I used to meet the supervisor during training.
I haven’t made an appointment this time, but I should be able to find Tatte and check if I can get one.
Strike while the iron is hot. If you worry, act.
After confirming there’s nothing unusual about my attire, I leave my room and head towards the supervisor’s area.
I think about what I’ll say along the way.
I’ve come up with a means to resolve the issue.
However, when I reconsider, the experience I have is only based on common Japanese methods.
I don’t know if that method will resonate with the noble supervisor.
I don’t even know if it’s correct.
In addition, it’s undoubtedly an incident that would require me to prostrate myself before Suella and the others.
If I could refuse this offer, it might have ended without the slightest ripple.
But if I do that, I feel like I’ll regret something.
So, I choose to walk this path. My footsteps are firm, my resolve set.
As I enter the supervisor’s area, I stand before the door to enter it. After taking a breath, I knock.
I assume the supervisor knows I’m here.
“Lord Jiro, you weren’t scheduled to meet with the young lady at this late hour, were you?”
“Sorry to bother you at this late hour, Tatte-san.”
Perhaps that’s why, after knocking, the door opens almost immediately, and Tatte emerges.
She’s in her usual maid uniform.
A fleeting glance at my attire.
And then, seeing my expression, she likely began to ponder if something was amiss.
I bow once, in response to her words, which she probably cross-referenced with the schedule, and state my request.
“I apologize for this sudden Prequest, but might I meet with the supervisor?”
“…You learned during this training that it’s not advisable to meet without an appointment at this late hour, did you not?”
“I am aware. However, I believe I understand your circumstances as well. If it’s possible, that’s all I ask. If it’s inconvenient, I will come another time.”
Honestly, now that I’ve solidified my resolve, I wanted to move forward with the discussion, but this is solely my convenience.
The other party also has their own circumstances.
I can’t force my way through.
Probably sensing my sincerity, Tatte says, “Well then,” and is about to say “another day” before stopping mid-sentence. She glances behind her for a moment, and then says:
“…The young lady will see you.”
“The supervisor?”
“Yes, so please come this way.”
She gently opens the door and begins to lead me.
The supervisor must have understood that brief exchange and communicated with Tatte via telepathic call.
Otherwise, it’s unlikely that the diligent Tatte would have changed her words.
We walk down a familiar path and are led into a familiar room.
“Please, the young lady is waiting inside.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Please let me know when you are leaving.”
I thank Tatte.
And then I knock.
“Enter.”
Even through the door, I can hear the supervisor’s voice. My back straightens from nervousness about what I’m about to do, and with a slight awkwardness, I push open the door and step inside.
“We had no appointment, Jiro. Has something happened?”
Standing there is the supervisor, not in sleepwear, but in casual clothes with a cardigan thrown over them.
In other words, she’s shed her “superior” shell and is presenting herself fully as a woman. I’m almost mesmerized by her, but I shake myself back to focus.
“No, nothing has happened. I’ve come to ask the supervisor for a favor.”
“A favor?”
Without beating around the bush, I get straight to the point. I believe she prefers directness over evasiveness.
The supervisor, sensing my serious and slightly less casual tone than usual, tries to guess my intentions but seems unable to deduce anything outside of work.
“Tell me. If it’s within my power, I’ll grant it.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Save your thanks until after your favor has been granted.”
I never imagined I’d be in a situation to ask for such a favor.
At first, I was nervous, but now the words come naturally when spoken to Suella and the others. However, when it comes to the supervisor, I get nervous.
But what’s the point of hesitating now that I’ve come this far? I rally myself and open my mouth.
“Supervisor, no, Evia-san.”
“?”
The supervisor reacts for a moment at being called by name, but I tell myself to push forward.
“After this training ends, please go on a date with me!!”
With that, I feel a sense of accomplishment inside for having said it, mixed with regret, and surrender myself to whatever unfolds next.
Today’s word:
Sometimes, being bound by common sense prevents us from making our own decisions.
In such times, it’s good to break things down one by one.
That’s all for today.
Thank you as always for pointing out typos and for your feedback.
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*The first volume of this novel has been published by Hayakawa Bunko JA.
It was released on October 18, 2018.
The e-book version was also released on October 31 of the same year.
Volume two was released on December 19.
The third volume was released on February 20, 2019.
The content has been revised and expanded from the version originally posted on Shosetsuka ni Naro, with the inclusion of previously unpublished inter-chapters.
Please consider purchasing the new releases as well!!
The serialization of the manga adaptation by Kodansha in “Young Magazine The Third” is scheduled to be featured in the September issue.
I hope you will enjoy that as well.
I look forward to your continued support of this work.
