I’m not King Hassan, but an author who’s about to go bankrupt.
With my last bit of money, I made a wish to get him, and when the gacha showed a rainbow effect, I cheered, but out came Rider, not Assassin… huh?
Though I’m grateful for finally welcoming the Child of Prophecy, Pharaoh, I’ll be posting this with a farewell to the Okinawan and a look forward to the next summon.
Jiro Tanaka, 28 years old, single, girlfriend: Suella Handelberg
Occupation: Dungeon Tester (Full-time Employee) + Recruiter
Magic Aptitude: 8 (General Class)
Position: Warrior
“Tonight, I won’t let you sleep!”
“Minors should just go home!”
It was a garden bar on a wood deck.
Despite how much they’d played and frolicked during the day, Minami was still full of energy.
Even now, with a glass of ginger ale in hand, she was high-spirited.
It was impressive how she, despite drinking non-alcoholic, had more energy than us who were drinking alcohol.
Perhaps that was also thanks to her magic crest?
“Are you guys always like this?”
“Pretty much, it’s our everyday life.”
“From what I’ve seen, you always seem lively and happy.”
We didn’t question how Kitamiya had naturally blended in among the drinking group.
“By the way, Kaido, aren’t you going to do your usual trick?”
“Huh? What are you talking about, Senpai?”
“Is Kaido-kun going to do something?”
“I’m curious, what kind of things do people here do?”
Of course, at a drinking party, one or two unreasonable requests are bound to happen.
I knew that Kaido and I had never done such things before, but the other members, unaware of this, egged him on.
The gazes of those around us gradually gathered, not just from our table, but also from the other non-human employees who, relying on their excellent hearing, sensed that something was about to happen.
“You planned this, Senpai!?”
“How should I know?”
“Jiro-san, your lips are smiling.”
“Whoops.”
It seemed my facial muscles had loosened up due to the alcohol.
Meanwhile, the expectations for Kaido continued to rise.
“So? What are you going to do?”
“Hmm, this older sister is really looking forward to it!”
“Kuu, I’ll do it! Man Kaido Tadashi will chug a whole sake barrel!”
It was unthinkable to disappoint the expectations of women. In a fit of desperation, Kaido ordered a sake barrel with the help of a devilish waiter.
“Behold! If I succeed in chugging it all at once, I’ll treat you all!”
With that declaration from his place on the table, the bar erupted in excitement, and cheers erupted from all around.
His arm, reinforced with magic power, lifted the full sake barrel as if it were a baby, and to the sounds of chugging cheers from the surroundings, Kaido’s reckless act began.
Fortunately, the table was mostly clear, and we were all wearing clothes that wouldn’t matter if they got wet, like hoodies over our swimsuits.
There was also a shower nearby, so it was fine if we spilled some alcohol.
Even if he threw up, our physical abilities were sufficient to avoid it.
“Oh, he’s going through with it.”
“You’re a bad person.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, if you look at what you’re holding in your right hand, it’s obvious.”
“You found out, want some?”
“Yes, I’ll have some.”
Even so, I made preparations.
“Chug, chug! Chug it all!”
“Come on! Put some spirit into it!”
“Show this older sister your cool side!”
Although three people had seemingly blended into the surroundings and were making a ruckus, I stood a step back, holding my mug and a plate of snacks.
Suella, noticing this, came over.
When I offered her the plate with cheese on it, the number of snacks decreased.
“Can you drink that much alcohol with magic?”
“It’s a type of body reinforcement. There’s a spell that enhances absorption, so if you combine it with a spell that enhances internal combustion with it, it’s theoretically possible.”
“But?”
“If you ask if I can do it while drunk, it would be difficult even for me.”
“Then staying away was the right choice.”
This isn’t a manga or anime.
There’s no way that amount of alcohol could fit into Kaido’s body, no matter how hard he tried.
“Mugh!?”
“““Eh?”””
“Goblofo!?”
“““Gyaaaaaaaaah!?”””
In the not-so-distant future, a scene of infernal screams would unfold.
He probably stopped drinking due to a burp or something.
It was the calm before the storm, followed by a great eruption.
It was merely the carbonated gas in his stomach exploding like Mentos and cola.
Facing the great disaster, some screamed like women who shouldn’t be screaming, some retreated with all their might, some erected magic barriers to defend against the grand something, and some used the bystanders next to them as shields.
It was interesting to see people avoiding the expelled substances based on their own judgment, and others laughing from a distance at the sight.
“Well, this is what happens.”
“If you expected it, you should have stopped him.”
“I was hesitant to ruin the mood.”
“That’s a lie. You’re laughing again, aren’t you?”
“Ahaha, what about you, Suella?”
“Hmm, I just wanted to be by Jiro-san’s side.”
“Ugh, that’s unfair.”
At her cute actions, I, as a man, couldn’t say any more.
After the disaster, I watched the swirl of laughter, unable to point out who did what and when.
“What are you doing!?”
“Yubara!?”
Kitamiya’s full-power straight punch was quite something.
“Haa, you’re causing trouble for the store.”
“I don’t think it’s a problem. This much dirt can be cleaned up in an instant.”
“How convenient.”
“Oh, Katsu and Memoria, you guys are alright too.”
“Somehow, I predicted this.”
Katsu’s crisis detection skills must have been honed by Minami, as he anticipated the outcome and secured drinks and food.
“I didn’t expect you to make me use my mistification.”
“Were you caught up in it?”
However, this vampire girl seemed curious and was watching from up close.
Who would have predicted that a vampire’s ultimate technique would be performed at a bar disaster like this?
Perhaps she thought she could handle giants or ogres, did she not think it was impossible for a human?
“You said you’d show me.”
“Yeah, he lives on impulse and momentum.”
“I’ll put up a defensive barrier next time.”
“You’re going to watch?”
“Humans are endlessly interesting.”
“Do people call you an oddity?”
“They do. Why do you think that is?”
It might be the alcohol, but I’m aware I’m saying rather rude things.
Yet, Memoria tilts her head cutely, and her appearance…
“That face is asking me if I know the reason, isn’t it?”
“It says in a Japanese book that this is how you charm human men.”
In short, it was manipulative.
“That’s so artificial. By the way, what was the reference material?”
“A hundred techniques to win over the opposite sex (Expression Edition).”
I don’t know where to start with the critique.
Should I criticize the publisher who created it, or this fantasy resident who bought it, or the fact that she’s trying to practice it on me?
Well, either way, what I can say is…
“How was the result?”
“You’re the one experiencing it, so you should know.”
“Then, think of a different method.”
“Then I will consider another method.”
I’m forced to inquire about the results.
“Ideally, I’d rather you didn’t do things like that.”
Oh, my right arm was enveloped in the sensation of happiness.
“I’ll yield the first seat, so if you could give me the second, I wouldn’t mind.”
“If you say so, I can’t help but consider it.”
Hold on a minute, fantasy people.
This is Japan, so why is the conversation proceeding based on fantasy standards, ignoring the person’s will?
Suella glances at me, so at least I’m included in the conversation.
“Ah, as a man, I’m happy, but unfortunately, I don’t have the financial means to support two people right now.”
“In Japan, isn’t working together a common practice? And don’t worry. I have enough savings to raise my own children.”
“Ah, that’s right, damn it! You’re strangely knowledgeable about Japan! But my male pride is in tatters!?”
Was it my mistake to respond in a way that could be interpreted as either a Japanese person who can’t say no or a indecisive Japanese person? I’ve been indirectly proposed to.
“…Why me?”
This might be rude to say, but while my face is above average, it’s not so perfectly sculpted that I could be a model, and my personality isn’t particularly good, nor do I have financial power.
From the Demon Lord’s Army’s perspective, my strength is probably at the bottom.
Objectively speaking, it’s strange that I can create an atmosphere where I can marry two beautiful women, even indirectly, like this.
I take a sip of the sake in my other hand and try to calm down a bit, then ask why.
As far as I’m concerned, I don’t remember doing anything in particular. It felt like we were just friendly shopkeepers.
“? Didn’t you approach me? I simply responded to that.”
“Huh? What’s with the pain, pain!? Suella-san, there’s evidence that I, as a man, did the worst thing! Can I have a chance to explain!?”
“What are you doing!?”
“Oh? Is this a scene of impending doom, leader?”
“You’re having fun, Suella~ What are you doing?”
Suddenly, it turned into the plight of a man caught cheating.
At that inopportune moment, the rest of the members, except for Kaido, arrived.
“I demand an explanation.”
“No, I have some idea, Guk!?”
“Ex-pla-na-tion?”
“What exactly did you do? Did you cheat too?”
“Ugh, leader’s…”
“Leader.”
“Jiro-kun? Let’s decide on the second wife after explaining to Suella at least.”
I feel like my stock price has plummeted infinitely!
Also, Keiri-san, what you’re saying is somehow wrong!
The feeling of happiness tightened my right arm, making it creak, and I had the robustness to endure it, which allowed me to recall my memories while enduring the pain to explain. However, I couldn’t remember anything.
Approach?
Approach, approach, ah!?
“……!?”
“You remember, don’t you?”
“The very first time!? But that was just… I did that just because!?”
“Is that so?”
The moment I remembered the incident, I thought my arm had broken, but miraculously, it was unharmed.
It seems they are willing to listen, which is better than being judged without question. But if I were found guilty, it would be no laughing matter.
“Haa, haa, it was that, wasn’t it? When you couldn’t get the store ready, and I helped you with the product display. It was when I was just starting out.”
“That’s it.”
Recalling it, from an objective viewpoint, or rather, from Memoria’s perspective, it might seem like a man clumsily trying to approach a woman.
Even after that, I sold all the dungeon spoils at Memoria’s place.
Since there was no convenient exchange office like the Adventurer’s Guild, I ended up selling them to Memoria, the shopkeeper, which could be seen as persistent attempts to approach her. I also remember chatting and asking about Memoria while she was appraising them.
“That’s how it was, right?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, that was…”
“How should I say this…”
“Can this be dismissed as a misunderstanding?”
“Ah, about that guy…”
When I explained the circumstances of the approach, the members, excluding Suella and Memoria, were caught between understanding and doubt.
Only Keiri-san, who is in charge of personnel, seemed to have a recollection of something similar.
The decline in my stock price was prevented, but my pride as the older one felt somewhat wounded.
“So, Jiro-san, what will you do?”
“Do what… No, Suella?”
What am I to do? If I think about it normally, she’s asking if I plan to cheat or not?
If that’s the case, the answer is no.
I still like Suella and have no intention of cheating.
Doesn’t she understand that?
No, Suella was calm.
Me cheating? That seems different from actions before we started dating, but she seemed to calm down when she realized I had no such intention.
“As for me, if you are serious about it, I don’t mind.”
“Huh?”
“The first wife has officially approved! Hooray!”
“Wow, it’s amazing that you’d approve of two-timing.”
“Hey, Minami, don’t pinch my ears suddenly, it hurts. And I can’t hear you.”
She dropped an explosive bomb as if no one else was there.
As a result, I began to panic, but she showed no signs of stopping.
“If you reject her for my sake, it would mean I twisted your feelings. And I don’t want that.”
“Ah, how sweet.”
“Ah, waiter. Beer, please. I can’t handle this without drinking.”
“I’ll have an iced coffee.”
“You’ve really grown up.”
Without paying attention to the onlookers, the conversation continued.
“Besides, she must have thought about it seriously, and I don’t think you would neglect me. So please, think seriously about her feelings.”
For the residents of Isal, like them, it’s common sense that as long as both parties agree, there’s no problem.
If that’s the case, her words are probably true feelings.
Perhaps there’s a possibility that I’m being tested, but…
“……”
There’s probably no such possibility.
I looked straight into Suella’s eyes, and she was serious.
“““……”””
“Disperse, you bastards!”
“““Tch.”””
Unnecessary onlookers gathered, so I scattered them with an application of a monkey’s roar.
I wish my party members would also refrain, but…
“This is exciting! Haa!?”
“Oi, let’s go eat something over there.”
“Maa-sa-ru~”
“Ah, yeah, yeah, I’ll go have a drink over there too.”
“Ah, I’m going too. Suella~ good luck!”
My members are reliable.
After seeing them leave, only I, Suella, and Memoria remained.
In a corner of the bar, by the window, with a superb view of the sea.
There, Memoria waited silently for my answer.
“Ah, I have a girlfriend, you know?”
“I know.”
“I’m not exactly a top earner, you know?”
“I don’t mind.”
“I’m not exactly dreaming of a harem, you know.”
“Get used to it.”
“I’m not confident I can treat you equally.”
“When you feel lonely, I’ll come to you.”
“I’m human, you know?”
“I guess I’m an oddity then.”
“……I’m the one who’ll die first.”
“Then, please leave behind proof that you existed.”
“You’re quite manly.”
“This is the first time anyone’s told me that.”
All the answers leaned towards yes.
At this point, I’ll have to brace myself.
“Alright, I’m going to say the worst thing now.”
“Yes.”
“I like Suella.”
“Yes.”
“I only thought of you as a friendly shopkeeper.”
“Yes.”
“Honestly, I don’t know how to interact with you.”
“Yes.”
“So…”
“Yes.”
“From now on, I will come to like you.”
“Yes.”
I’ve officially declared I’m two-timing.
“Haa, is that okay?”
“If you hadn’t let out that last sigh, it would have been perfect.”
“Don’t be unreasonable.”
With her behind me, I don’t have the nerve to openly two-time.
I’m still on edge, wondering when magic will fly from behind me, and even thinking about the worst-case scenario of combat between these two, I wonder if this choice was the right one.
“Ah, sorry, Suella.”
“No, I somehow had a feeling you would.”
“You think I’ll cheat?”
I thought that was harsh, and in fact, from an outsider’s perspective, I am currently cheating.
I can only smile bitterly and admit that I can’t deny it.
I pick up the sake on the table and take a sip.
“No, Jiro-san won’t cheat.”
However, Suella gently denies it.
“On what basis?”
“That’s a secret.”
“What do you mean?”
“Women have secrets. It’s common sense here and there.”
“Is that so, Memoria?”
“Yes.”
I don’t understand what’s going on, but Suella and Memoria seem to have reached some kind of mutual understanding.
They are smiling at me.
“I never expected to have such a popular phase.”
One is a Dark Elf, the other a vampire. Their types are different, but both are undoubtedly beautiful women.
This unusual combination wouldn’t happen in reality.
“Are you happy?”
“That’s a mean question, Suella. Normally, I couldn’t deny or affirm it, but yes, I am happy right now.”
“Then my confession was worthwhile.”
“If possible, I wish you had picked a different timing.”
“I’ll reflect on it. However, I have no regrets.”
“Please do.”
“Yes, but I’ll reflect on it a little later.”
“Huh?!?”
“Hmm, is this a kiss? It’s not bad.”
“You…”
“It’s fine. I’m trailing behind Suella by quite a bit, or rather, by several steps. Next time, I’ll take the atmosphere into account too.”
The first kiss with the vampire wasn’t the taste of blood, but a cold, yet passionate kiss.
It was only a few seconds of contact, a swirling, licking motion that evoked a different kind of heat than the alcohol’s intoxication.
“Jiro-san.”
“Yes, yes.”
“Ah.”
And even I know what comes next.
Isn’t it that harem protagonists are often dense to reduce this kind of mental strain?
Well, the men in the world would probably complain, saying, “What are you complaining about when you’re getting perks?” and I myself am choosing and enjoying it, so I’ll answer.
“For now, please be satisfied with this.”
“Yes.”
This is the limit of how proactive I can be.
“Seeeennnpaaaai~ What are you doing~?”
“Oh, Kaido, you’re alive?”
“Don’t talk about being alive! What’s this, a solo rom-com development!? You gained girlfriends while I was covered in alcohol and ended up in a disaster, then took a shower!! Mogeloss!?”
It seems the rom-com development is over.
“Is it over?”
“Haa, I’m probably been rejected, why am I here, this is such a bad day.”
“Ahaha, congratulations Jiro-kun, now you’re a proper member of the Demon Lord’s Army.”
“Senpai Kaido, would you like to eat?”
They were ready, perhaps sensing the atmosphere, or perhaps called by Kaido’s scream, the original members reassembled.
“If that’s the case, I’ll eat my feelings out!! Nobody can stop me now!!”
“The god of competitive eating is born. Hmm~ The title is a bit lacking, though.”
“That’s why you won’t get a girlfriend.”
“You said something you shouldn’t have just now!! A rejected woman wouldn’t understand my feelings!!”
“Fine, I’ll take that challenge. Are you prepared to be frozen?”
“Take it easy.”
““Senpai (You) shouldn’t say that (it’s like that)!!””
The usual boisterous commotion resumed, and thus, the day ended noisily.
*Click*
“Huh? A power outage?”
“……This is?”
“Suella?”
“Impossible. We’re inside the dungeon, there can’t be a power outage.”
It seemed like it was going to be a long day.
All the lights went out, and the entire area was plunged into darkness.
While we testers naively thought it was just a power outage, the Demon Lord’s Army members reacted differently.
A tense atmosphere began to permeate the murmurs.
A foul smell hung in the air.
The bad premonition I felt when I worked at a black company, and my crisis detection ability as a tester, were sounding alarms.
“Haa, I wish I could just relax on my day off.”
Though my tone was casual, my drunken haze was instantly blown away, and my expression became serious.
Jiro Tanaka, 28 years old, single.
Girlfriend: Suella Handelberg.
Memoria Tris.
Occupation: Dungeon Tester (Full-time Employee) + Recruiter.
Magic Aptitude: 8 (General Class).
Position: Warrior.
Quote of the Day:
A working adult’s wish is to fully enjoy their day off. Being called in on a holiday is the ultimate no-no.
This is the end of this story.
From the everyday life arc, I plan to proceed to the combat arc from the next installment, incorporating reinforcements.
Please continue to support “Let’s Create a Dungeon That Heroes Can’t Conquer!”
