Keiri-san stated her resolve, and Evia spoke.
I understood the meaning of her words so clearly that there was no need to ask what it was.
And I was no longer a child who would scream and deny those words like a starving demon, spewing out blue words.
“Is there no way to save Suella and the child?”
Those words weighed down on me with crushing force. Grasping my heart as if despair had become pressure, I felt breathless.
However, I hadn’t abandoned all hope to the point where I could surrender to those words, accept them, and move on. Leaning against the wall, head bowed, even as despair threatened to consume me, I was searching for a way in my mind to save both parents and child.
Knowledge from Earth and knowledge gained since joining this company offered little on childbirth. Medical and pharmacological knowledge was also scarce. That was only natural. After all, I was just an ordinary salaryman in my previous job, and now I am a combatant. I am not someone who saves lives, like a doctor or pharmacist.
“The doctor estimates that Suella’s delivery will be within a month at the earliest. They say it’s a premature birth even then, but it’s on the borderline of what’s healthy for the child.”
Wanting to deny the words “I don’t know,” I clung to any possibility, searching my mind. Even as I was confronted with the stark reality of my powerlessness, my desire not to give up compelled me to ask Evia for a method.
Knowing I would ask, she knelt and spoke to me gently as I sat there. All I could see was Evia crouching, unable to discern her expression as she spoke.
“And the current situation can be maintained for at most two weeks. This isn’t about money, medicine supply, or the inability to continue treatment. Beyond that, Suella’s stamina won’t hold.”
“Tch.”
Though her voice was gentle, she delivered a harsh reality. I knew she was telling me this because it was necessary. The hand resting on my shoulder was the best proof of that. I knew it was wrong to blame Evia. But where was I to direct this overwhelming emotion? It would have been easier if I had been blamed, told I was at fault. Evia was keeping me from falling into self-loathing.
“We are in a dungeon. With my authority, I can ensure an environment with no issues with magic power supply itself. However, no matter how much magic power is supplied, it must pass through Suella’s body to reach the child. There is a limit to the amount of magic power that can be supplied through the magic crest. Even if magic power is sent into Suella’s body, it will constantly be supplied to the child.”
Evia asked if I understood, and I could only nod helplessly. If there was a way, Evia would have found it.
“If Suella is strengthened with magic or medicine haphazardly, we don’t know what kind of effects it will have on the mother or the fetus.”
She would undoubtedly show me the path I needed to take, albeit sternly. And the inability to do so meant…
“And beings without magic power will gradually lose stamina and eventually begin to weaken.”
Evia then, with a voice tinged with regret, showed me the future.
“……”
But I couldn’t even nod, let alone respond to those words. Even if there was a way to save Suella by abandoning the child, I remembered her face, smiling every day, anticipating the child.
“……”
“……”
“……”
“……”
I wasn’t the only one who knew this. Memoria was sobbing quietly, her sobs barely audible. Keiri-san was likely beating the wall in frustration. Himik had probably collapsed to her knees. And the vice-like grip on my shoulder showed Evia’s own frustration. What was the point of power, overwhelming magic, or authority if one didn’t know how to save them?
“Must we give up?”
It felt like a voice similar to mine echoed in my mind. No, that voice was undeniably coming from my heart. And as I desperately willed it away, I thought,
“Then, will you abandon Suella and kill the child too?”
I wanted to scream that I didn’t want that either. There was a way to save one of the three lives. But two would not be saved. If I struggled to save all three, none would be saved. One or zero. That choice was cruelly tearing at my heart.
“Is there… time to think?”
Amidst such turmoil, that was all I could manage to utter. It was impossible to make an immediate decision.
“The limit is three days. To save Suella definitively, we cannot wait any longer than that. As time passes, Suella’s stamina will be steadily eroded and depleted. It takes a large entity, the child, to be expelled from the body.”
Evia answered my question without a hint of judgment for my indecisiveness. And then, she cruelly told me I had to make such a crucial decision in just three days. What could I possibly do in three days? Was I to pray for a miracle cure for a pregnant woman with identical symptoms?
“Can I see… Suella?”
On the verge of collapse, after thinking about what I should do, the only desire that surfaced was to see Suella. My mind couldn’t come up with any solutions; it was the most I could manage.
“Yes.”
Evia granted my wish. To pass through the tightly shut door, I forced my wobbly legs to stand, cast a purification spell, and enveloped in a faint barrier-like film, we were led to where Suella was.
“Suella.”
It was not the intensive care room I knew. The first thing I saw upon entering was something like a shallow bathtub. Apart from small, spirit-like beings floating around, there were no medical devices. A pale green liquid was constantly flowing into the tub, appearing to be replaced with fresh liquid. Suella lay there, clad in what looked like a bathing robe, immersed in the pale green liquid, asleep. She didn’t respond to my call, sleeping silently.
“It’s a magic potion to efficiently absorb magic power. The magic element concentration in this room is set high. However, even with that, the absorption of magic elements is poor. So, this was the only option in the current situation.”
Evia stood beside me, explaining the treatment. I could only vaguely think, ‘So this is the treatment.’ I had imagined a drip being inserted, with magic power being supplied through her veins, so I was slightly relieved it wasn’t like that. Standing by the tub, I peeked in. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, I thought she might just wake up if I shouted.
“…Is it okay to hold her hand?”
Though reason told me I couldn’t, the mere proximity made me want to touch her. I glanced at Evia, who then subtly signaled to the Dark Elf female doctor accompanying us. After a moment, the doctor nodded, and the gloved physician wiped Suella’s hand, which had been taken out of the tub, and indicated for me to take it.
“Suella.”
What could holding her hand accomplish? As if to say reason didn’t matter, I held Suella’s left hand with both of mine. Her faint warmth was proof that she was alive, bringing a sense of relief to my heart.
“What… should I do?”
That relief, however, unlatched the restraints I had held back, allowing my weakness to surface. My sleeping wife couldn’t hear my words. Only silence answered me. Suella’s life and the child’s life. The fate of three lives. I felt utterly incapable of making such a decision. I was Suella’s lover, and soon to be her husband. And I could declare that I loved her. That was becoming an impediment. Evia had said the deadline was three days, but I intuitively knew that as time passed, I would only become more incapable of making this decision. If I had to make it, it had to be now. I knew intuitively that any decision made at any other time would be wrong and lead to regret. The doctor’s allowed time was a few minutes at best. I had to decide within that time. Thinking this, my grip on Suella’s hand tightened.
“Tch.”
“!”
Suella!”
It might have been a reflex. It might have been simply that my grip hurt her. Even so, for a moment, a sound escaped Suella’s lips, and I instinctively called her name. As if noticing the reaction, the gazes of those around us turned towards us.
“…Jiro-san?”
She then slowly opened her eyes, looked around, and noticing me holding her hand, called my name.
“Yes, yes.”
Suella was awake. That alone filled me with joy, and I couldn’t hear the female doctor’s words of disbelief from behind me. I could only nod and affirm my name.
“What… happened to me?”
The awakened Suella seemed unable to grasp the situation, trying to recall what had happened. As I hesitated on how to explain, Evia stepped forward without a word.
“Suella, listen carefully.”
“Evia-sama?”
Evia began to explain the situation simply and clearly to the newly awakened and disoriented Suella. It was Evia’s kindness, understanding that Suella couldn’t stay awake for long and that her chances of waking again if she fell back asleep were slim, trying to prompt a decision in the interim.
“……”
“Did you understand?”
“Yes.”
After Evia had roughly explained that Suella and the child’s lives were in danger and there was no way to save the child, Suella, though still weak, held my hand tighter, conscious of her grip, trying to maintain her awareness.
“Jiro-san.”
She then called me.
“Yes.”
I could only quietly await her words. And within me, a resolve had formed. I felt that the words she was about to speak would determine my future actions.
“I don’t want to die.”
She confessed her feelings in a faint voice.
“Ah.”
That meant she was willing to give up on the child.
“But.”
No.
“I don’t want to be saved by sacrificing my child.”
It was Suella’s heartfelt cry, her desire to live with her child. Despite the magic continuously draining her, leaving her with little strength, she squeezed my hand, conveying her feelings.
“I was so happy when I learned I was going to have a child with you, Jiro-san.”
“Ah.”
“I was so happy when you rejoiced upon learning about the child.”
“Ah.”
“I was so happy when I felt you cherishing me and our child.”
“Ah.”
I listened, etching her words into my heart and nodding. Suella’s time awake was rapidly dwindling. The grip on my hand loosened for a moment, and then she tightened her hold on mine again, as if to say, “Not yet.”
“I was happy when Keiri congratulated me, even while teasing me.”
“Ah.”
“I was happy when Memoria rejoiced as if it were her own child.”
“Ah.”
“I was happy when Himik cooked for our children.”
“Ah.”
“I was happy when Evia-sama worried, so I could focus on raising our child.”
“Ah.”
I could feel my time with her slipping away like sand in an hourglass. The weakening grip compared to when she first held my hand indicated this. Yet, Suella, as if having more to say, summoned her last ounce of strength and squeezed my hand.
“I was happy that everyone wished for these children to be born.”
“Ah.”
It might have been a given, but for her, it was undoubtedly the most joyous thing.
“So, I want to live with these children.”
Suella said, looking me directly in the eye one last time.
“Me… and the child in my womb.”
Even with no strength left to even whisper. Suella, to the very end.
“Help me.”
Gathering her will.
“Jiro.”
She entrusted herself to me and fell asleep. I gently squeezed the hand that had gone limp, but she did not wake. To an outsider, it might have seemed a reckless or impossible wish. But my resolve was set. The woman I loved had asked for help. If I faltered now, I wouldn’t be a man.
“Ah, I understand. From now on.”
I gently placed her hand back into the tub. My reflection in the liquid’s surface was no longer that of a man filled with anxiety, but of a man who had made up his mind.
Today’s Word
My resolve is set.
Now, I just have to do it.
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*The first volume of the book has been published by Hayakawa Bunko JA.
It was released on October 18, 2018.
The digital version was released on October 31 of the same year.
The second volume was released on December 19.
The third volume was released on February 20, 2019.
The content has been revised and expanded from postings on “Shosetsuka ni Naro,” with additional unpublished intermissions.
Please consider purchasing the new releases as well!!
A comic adaptation is being serialized in Kodansha’s “Young Magazine The Third.”
We hope you enjoy that as well.
We ask for your continued support for this work.
