“Haa,” I sighed.
My university classes were finished for the day, and I didn’t have any part-time work either. I had gone out with Minami yesterday, so I decided to head straight home to rest my tired body. Not that I was completely exhausted, but it’s always good to rest when you can.
I had just finished showering and was drying my hair.
“Right then, if I finish this, I’ll be done,” I said, starting up the laptop on my desk and opening a file. Most of my credits were secured, so once I finished my graduation thesis, my university life would finally come to an end. Thinking about it filled me with a sense of deep emotion.
“It’s over, huh?”
Being a university student felt like a title that constantly reminded me I was still a child. Some of my classmates seemed so mature they could be mistaken for working adults, but seeing the adults at my part-time job made me realize how much of a child I still was.
I was an adult, of course, but that simply meant I was over twenty. While this age was generally considered adult by society, I was still incredibly immature compared to those I worked with at the company. Stepping forward from that immaturity was what a full-time job symbolized.
“What should I do?”
I had told my friends I had a job lined up, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I should really join that company. That company needed me, and I felt a sense of purpose there. The pay was good, and the benefits were excellent. I knew it would be incredibly difficult to find a company that offered more. If I were to search for a job now, it would be hard to find a place that could offer the same conditions or an environment that would satisfy me more than the one I was already accustomed to.
“…”
Before I knew it, I was staring blankly at my graduation thesis, but the words weren’t sinking in. It was a sign of my scattered thoughts; I knew I wouldn’t be able to produce anything good if I tried to write like this. I couldn’t concentrate.
“Haa, I’ll stop for now.”
There was no point in forcing myself when I had no motivation, so I pondered what to do next before quietly lying down on my bed.
“Tomorrow, I have a morning lecture, then work in the afternoon, and when I get back…”
I thought about my schedule for tomorrow. Staring at the ceiling, I easily recalled the schedule written in my planner.
“Tomorrow’s part-time job is basic training, right? Lately, Minami has been using some strange techniques, so it’s been tough.”
Basic training to build stamina. Afterwards, there would be training in a virtual reality room simulating combat against opponents or monsters. Finally, a debriefing session would conclude the day. It was a routine I had grown accustomed to.
“Haa, was there anything else?”
I tried to recall any other scheduled events, but my memory clearly stated that everything else was free.
“I have plenty of time, maybe I’ll go out for a meal tomorrow.”
I tried to schedule something else, but my brain refused, as if it wasn’t in the mood.
“I’ll stop.”
Whether I needed rest or time to think, I abandoned the idea of going out, as I had no desire to do so. However, just as I was about to close my eyes and fall asleep, a nagging doubt arose: was this really okay?
“Is the future this heavy?”
My moratorium period as a university student was nearing its end. At first, I thought I was just being naive about it, but that wasn’t it. It was a vague anxiety about the future. I wondered if I should really be involved with that company. From what Jiro-san had told me, that company would eventually step into the global spotlight. He had mentioned that they were already starting to build connections with the Japanese government and other countries. These connections weren’t just on the surface; they extended into areas I was unaware of. Jiro-san had told me that the time for them to remain a hidden existence would be shorter than I thought. I remembered a time when we happened to be alone together.
“Kitamiya, is it job hunting season? Do you have anywhere in mind?”
It wasn’t that we had never been alone together before, but it was rare. We usually talked about work, but for some reason, that day we spoke about something different. The trigger was Jiro-san’s stories about his university days, which then led to a conversation about my future.
“I’m planning to get a job at this company.”
“That’s good to hear from my perspective, but are you sure?”
Up until then, I had a vague idea of joining this company and getting closer to Katsu-kun. I didn’t think that idea was wrong, nor did I think it would change. That’s why Jiro-san’s question, “are you sure?” was so unexpected. I expected him to simply be happy with my answer and move on. I never thought he would ask me to elaborate.
“Are you sure? Is there a reason I shouldn’t be here?”
Perhaps because of that, I found myself asking Jiro-san back with a slightly sharp tone. I knew that speaking like that to someone you weren’t close to would surely cause discomfort, but I believed it wouldn’t bother him, so I didn’t give it much thought.
“No, no, it’s not that you shouldn’t be here. Well, Kaido is a full-time employee, so she’s an exception, but you’re part-time, right? Maybe now you don’t, but didn’t you want to do other jobs in the past?”
“That’s… I can’t say that’s not the case.”
When asked about my future dreams, the conversation naturally turned to what kind of work I wanted to do. Of course, as a child, I had thought about it extensively. Cake shop owner, nurse, florist, idol. I had thought of all the typical jobs a girl might consider.
“Right now, I feel more rewarded by what I’m doing than those professions I once dreamed of.”
“I see.”
However, my current job, which was more stimulating and rewarding than those childhood dreams, didn’t lead me to choose them.
“You see, you’re the one who asked, aren’t you, Jiro-san?”
My slightly annoyed retort, not out of投げやり (resignation) but rather a lack of enthusiasm, didn’t faze him.
“Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I was suddenly worried.”
“Worried?”
“Yeah, I was worried I might be restricting your future. Even though things are going well now, this job is still dangerous. The time you can spend on the front lines is overwhelmingly shorter than in ordinary professions. Unless you become like me and essentially quit being human.”
He said he was worried about me.
“You’re a young woman, Kitamiya. There are probably many things you want to enjoy while you’re young. You’d want to travel, right? And hang out with friends, and maybe find love… oh, that’s already happening, so I’ll exclude that. But you’re still only in your early twenties. There must be so many things you want to do.”
As he spoke, holding a cup of coffee, I recalled his career history and understood what he meant.
“When I was in college, I did quite a bit. But after becoming a working adult, I joined a so-called black company. I went through a period where I had almost no personal time. This company offers more freedom, relatively speaking, but the work itself is no different from working at a black company, and it’s certainly not the kind of content that a young woman should be involved in.”
With that, I also understood what Jiro-san was saying. It was true that fighting monsters wasn’t something a young woman should be doing. I admit I’m starting to feel a bit of thrill when unleashing powerful magic, but there’s blood, the sound of bones shattering, and the sensation of flesh being crushed. I don’t think my sense of being a woman has gone awry, but I have experienced many things that are far from ordinary.
“It’s a bit late for that now.”
“Indeed, it is rather late.”
But it was also true that it felt “late.” I had been working here for over a year. What Jiro-san was saying felt like ancient history.
“My future is my decision, Jiro-san. It’s not something you need to worry about.”
“That’s true, but we’re colleagues, aren’t we? I’ve worked with you enough to want to help if you were in trouble.”
“Then, can you offer me a salary and environment that’s better than this?”
“Hahaha! Impossible.”
“Then, you don’t need to worry.”
That’s why I had brushed off the conversation so easily back then, without giving it much thought…
“What’s this? I am thinking about it quite thoroughly.”
The catalyst of my university graduation. The talk of employment from my friends. And most importantly, Jiro-san becoming a general and the constant changes in my environment. Is this really okay? Is this how it should be? I told him not to worry, but look at me now. It’s almost comical.
“But, there isn’t a problem, is there?”
However, it was also a fact that I didn’t think I needed to quit my current job. Jiro-san was right. The work was dangerous, and it wasn’t the kind of content a young woman should be involved in. But the people at my workplace were good, and they were considerate of me. The salary was more than adequate, and I found it fulfilling.
“Going back to being a regular person now would be too much.”
In the future, that company would surely become famous. In that sense, there was probably future potential as well.
“Then there’s no problem. Yes, that’s fine.”
I couldn’t completely shake off my anxiety, but I was convinced that this was the right path, so I went to sleep for the day.
“Oh, what a coincidence.”
“My, if it isn’t Kitamiya.”
The next morning, one of my university lectures was canceled due to the professor’s schedule change, leaving my day open. Since the timing was awkward for stopping somewhere, I ended up coming to work and ran into a colleague. Kanzaki Meg. She was in my year, and she led an all-female party. It’s hard to say if she’s a veteran, given the short history of Dungeon Testers, but considering how many parties break up and disband in this profession due to various issues, her ability to maintain hers and survive spoke volumes about her talent. As another female tester, we had quite a few opportunities to talk.
“How have things been since then?”
“Compared to your party, I still have a long way to go, but I’m doing well in my own way.”
“Our party is just above average because Jiro-san is exceptionally skilled. We’re normal.”
“Yet, against the ‘normal’ Kitamiya, our party loses one-sidedly.”
“If you experience that hell, you’ll change too.”
I was quite friendly with Kanzaki, to the point where we would sometimes eat together.
“If you’re willing, could you spar with us again sometime? Our newcomers are getting stronger, and we can’t afford to be complacent.”
I occasionally agreed to spar with her. Partly because it was better for us as female testers to cooperate, but purely on a personal level, I found Kanzaki easier to get along with than Miki. She was serious, ambitious, and sincere. The fans of Kanzaki’s party, who called her cooler than most men, made it relatively easy to provide guidance, so there were no issues there.
The only real problem was her difficulty interacting with men. She mentioned that her struggles in this regard had lessened with her current job, but in the past, she apparently had financial difficulties. Because of that, she had attracted some unwanted attention from strange men, leading her to be somewhat distrustful of men. She had mentioned that asking Jiro-san for guidance was a last resort, but apparently, given various circumstances, it was okay with certain members. As a result, we had become close enough to spar together like this.
“Then, shall we do a little now? I happen to have some free time until my own training session.”
So, this unexpected free time felt like fate. I had considered just passing the time in the party room, but moving my body a little felt healthier.
“Really? That would be a great help. My party should be gathering soon too.”
“Then it’s settled. Where should we go?”
“We have a training room booked right after this, how about there?”
“Which one?”
“Third.”
“Understood. I’ll change into my gear and head over.”
“Sure, please do.”
My unexpected free time was now filled with a plan. After parting ways with Kanzaki, I headed towards the party room, but I found someone already there.
“Oh, Kitamiya, you’re here early.”
Minami was sprawled on the party room sofa, playing a handheld game.
“Hey, that’s the outfit I coordinated for you yesterday, isn’t it? Don’t lounge around in it like that.”
“It’s fine! I’ve coated it with magic so it won’t wrinkle, stain, or lose its shape. It’s perfect!”
“Such a wasteful use of magic.”
“Heh! You should call it innovative. Even the important people said that magic is meant to be used in everyday life.”
“Who are these ‘important people’?”
“The President.”
“You…”
Slipping past the usual scene, I headed for the changing room, but suddenly glanced in Minami’s direction. Minami, lying on the sofa with a smug look on their face.
“Hey.”
“Hmm?”
Even when I called out, the response was half-hearted.
“You’re bored, right?”
“I am currently busy saving the world.”
“You’re so bored. I’m going to move my body a little, so you’re coming with me.”
This was also typical, so I didn’t mind as I stood in front of Minami’s sofa, blocking their escape.
“No, I cannot. I have to move my body later, I don’t want to waste extra stamina.”
“I don’t care!”
I had decided to drag this loafer along with me.
Today’s thought: Worries about the future are endless, but you can’t stand still forever.
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I am also currently serializing another story: Pandora Pandemic Panic – Pandora’s Box Has Been Opened Again, But We’re Fighting Back From Our Secret Base and More!! Please check that out as well!
