I believe that whether or not someone can love one woman is a matter of personal values.
Expressed directly, it means whether one can have children with that person. In a more poetic sense, it means being able to spend one’s entire life with that woman.
There are various reasons why one can express affection towards someone of the opposite sex.
So why did I declare that I could love Keiri-san, or rather, Keiri?
“Your face is bright red.”
“I-I know! But what can I do? After you said something like that, my face would naturally turn this color. I could blame it on the alcohol, but honestly, it was a confession that might have shattered me, so my happiness is overflowing. Is that a problem?”
“No, I’ve also decided to be honest now. If you’re happy, then I’m happy too.”
“…Is that your personality? You seem strangely adept at handling women.”
“I think it would be more problematic if I wasn’t good with women, having four wives already.”
While pondering how to explain the reason, I teased Keiri-san a little and spoke at a relaxed pace.
“That’s true.”
“Right?”
“Yes, I understand and accept that.”
A bar, not a noisy izakaya, where we could enjoy time alone in a spacious environment.
The atmosphere also heightened our awareness of ourselves as man and woman.
I wrestled with questions in my mind.
Is this okay? Is this the right answer?
I realized I should say it when a small internal instructor, like kicking me to make me speak, appeared, telling me that if I’m making Keiri-san confess her true feelings so clearly, why am I not doing the same.
I took a sip of the strong liquor in my glass.
I’d tell myself later that it wasn’t an excuse for being drunk, but a justification for revealing my honest feelings.
“Keiri.”
I deliberately dropped the honorific and called her name.
She flinched, straightening her back at my sudden serious tone, and nervously fiddled with her hair.
“It feels… unfamiliar, you calling me by my name.”
“Do you prefer me to use ‘-san’?”
“No, it makes me feel lonely, like you’re keeping your distance.”
I wondered why she was so honest today. Her actions, which stirred my masculine heart, made me feel a flutter, and I thought my own cheeks might be turning a little red.
I suppose the magic of alcohol is frightening.
“Besides, after you said you could love me, I don’t want you to do anything so uncool.”
“Even without telling me the reason?”
“I don’t know everything about you, but you wouldn’t say something so flippant as a joke or a lie. I know you’re thinking about it seriously.”
“…You think pretty highly of me.”
If we’re talking about whether I can love Keiri, then probably, yes.
I’m confident I can, both for emotional and physical reasons.
The reason, in short, is about our sense of distance. She, who maintained a distance as a female friend, had stepped closer, and I felt no aversion to it.
If I couldn’t love her, I would have rejected her at this stage. So, if asked if there’s a specific reason I can love her…
“I simply thought I’d be happy if Keiri were by my side.”
There’s no such thing.
Intuitively, emotionally, I was just happy that she wanted to be by my side.
Despite being constantly asked if there were any good men and told I wasn’t on their radar, I harbored no ill feelings towards her, who had supported me in many ways, both in work and in my personal life.
Rather, even when she took on various troubles, she would confront me with her emotions directly, showing a smile like a sunflower, and I often harbored faint feelings for her during work.
However, I thought there was no possibility. And after being told she didn’t see me as a man, I decided to encourage her to find happiness, to push her forward.
And then, a sudden reversal of that situation.
Maddened by Keiri’s words that she was oblivious and didn’t realize her own feelings, I was completely swayed.
I was just trying to organize my thoughts by forcefully swallowing the taste of the alcohol.
“There’s no deep reason. It’s a simple reason. I want Keiri to be happy. And I would be overjoyed if I could bring her that happiness with my own hands.”
The old me would never have said this, and if Kaido and the others heard it, they’d burst out laughing. Such cheesy lines came out of my mouth.
“…Have you ever been told by Suella that it was unfair?”
However, since I couldn’t think of any other reason, I decided to say it. A few seconds later, she leaned her body against me, resting her head on my shoulder.
“Who knows? I’ve been told many times that I’m hard to take my eyes off of, though.”
“Lies. Suella definitely thought that.”
“On what grounds?”
“As a best friend, or perhaps, it’s my own small pride at the moment.”
She pressed close, hiding her face but letting me feel her warmth.
“If you say that, I can’t go back anymore.”
“After you said what you did, I had no intention of going back.”
“You won’t run from your responsibility, will you?”
“I won’t gladly accept it. But I don’t have the courage to abandon it either.”
Honestly, could I have imagined this morning what would happen today?
No, I couldn’t have.
The only one who probably could have predicted it was Kirie-san.
I realized that was the reason for her profound smile.
“What do you mean by that? Am I a reluctant choice for you?”
“My wording was poor.”
Addressing Keiri’s slightly displeased voice, I chose my words carefully.
“I don’t think I protect people I’ve decided to protect out of responsibility, including Keiri. I protect them because I *want* to protect them. There’s no sense of obligation or duty. I simply do it because I want to. That’s all.”
My carefully rephrased words.
“Haa, no. Those words are bad.”
For some reason, she vetoed them.
“Absolutely, don’t say those words to any other woman. You might not understand in Japan, but if someone with your abilities said that, women would flock to you no matter how many there were.”
Keiri looked at me with moist eyes and an upward gaze, her expression making me aware of her womanhood.
“I don’t say that to just anyone, though.”
“I know. I’ve seen you distance yourself from noble ladies. But, when you say something like that in such a refined atmosphere…”
And then Keiri kissed me.
“I can’t help but think I don’t want to lose to Suella or Evia-sama!”
“Ideally, I’d like you all to get along.”
By not refusing it, I became an accomplice.
“I know. I’m the last one. I’ll make sure to follow the order.”
“No, I treat you all equally.”
“I know that too. But there’s a hidden hierarchy among women that men don’t understand. Especially in cases of infidelity like this, you need to follow the proper procedure, or it will become troublesome later.”
Even though we kissed, the atmosphere wasn’t sweet.
Nor did it turn cold.
One woman was simply born with a burning desire to never let go of this connection.
“Besides, Evia-sama has probably already figured it out.”
“She probably has. This is her dungeon, after all.”
“Did she think I was having an affair?”
“If she thought that, a magic sword would already be embedded just inches from my face.”
Without separating herself from me, Keiri began to talk about the future. We had confessed, and confirmed our intentions.
As if to say that all that’s left is to follow the proper procedure, she began to think about the plan.
“Perhaps I was too obvious?”
“At least I didn’t notice. Even if you call me dense, I’m the kind of man who might think that, so I’m not a good reference. But…”
“But?”
“When Suella confessed to me as a joke, after you left, she said this.”
“‘She’ll have a hard time because of her personality.'”
“That girl…”
“I’ll say it now, given the situation, but I think Suella probably predicted that Keiri’s marriage hunting parties wouldn’t go well.”
“Haa, it seems so.”
Knowing Evia, she probably knows we started drinking at the bar and suspects the situation. If she wanted to interfere, she would have appeared by now and questioned us.
The fact that she hasn’t means she’s tacitly approving. And as for Suella, the principal wife, she seems to be exasperated with her best friend’s inability to be honest.
“Maybe I should just give up thinking about all this and beg on my knees to be included in Jiro-kun’s harem. I feel like it might work with just Memoria-san and Himik-san.”
“Please stop. That would create a situation where I’d have to beg alongside you.”
“Oh? You won’t beg with me?”
“Why are we focusing on begging?”
Perhaps finding the thought absurd, Keiri reached for the remaining liquor on the counter, took a sip, and said.
“Logically speaking, it would be best to report to Evia-sama first thing in the morning, arrange a meeting with Suella, gather Himik-san and Memoria-san, and explain the situation.”
“That would be normal. There’s no need to do anything strange or out of the ordinary.”
She withdrew her insistence on begging and began to consider a more sensible approach.
“Yes, and I suppose I should just be prepared for how much Evia-sama will tease me.”
“It will be talked about for a hundred years.”
“Will it only be a hundred years?”
“We should consider ourselves fortunate if it’s only a hundred.”
“I just want to avoid reaching a point where I can’t look my child in the eye because they’re born.”
“Even Evia wouldn’t go that far, would she?”
“I’m becoming like a homewrecker, you know!”
“If I abandon Suella and the others, then yes.”
“What if I say, ‘Look only at me’?”
“I would refuse, even if it damaged our relationship.”
“As expected.”
“You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, I know I stand no chance against Suella with her child, or me who just appeared out of nowhere.”
The sensible thing to do is to prepare an opportunity later and have a serious discussion to obtain permission. I will naturally attend Suella’s explanation and am willing to do any prior explanations.
“Did you think I was a troublesome woman?”
“Would you prefer a sad truth or a happy lie?”
“Between those two choices, I’ll take the sad truth.”
“It seems easier than preparing myself to fight an instructor.”
“The comparison is strange.”
She laughed cheerily, creating a bright atmosphere rather than a pessimistic one. But she was also facing reality squarely.
“I’m glad we’re in another world. If this happened in Japan, you’d just be a scumbag.”
“Even in another world, a man who goes around sleeping with women indiscriminately is a scumbag.”
“…What about me?”
“You’re not a scumbag yet. If you can make everyone happy, including me, then you’ll be a capable man.”
“That’s a life worth living.”
I downed the last of the remaining alcohol. I gave a knowing glance to the master, who began preparing the bill.
“What time?”
“I’d say first thing in the morning, but there’s preparation involved. I’ll explain to Evia and Suella beforehand, so come around noon.”
“Understood. Don’t get stabbed, okay?”
“Even if it looks like I’ll get stabbed, I don’t think I’ll dodge.”
“In that case, I’ll get stabbed with you.”
“That’s a heavy burden, but I accept it.”
Exchanging jokes, we quietly rose from our seats. We gazed at each other, but did not kiss. She slipped from my arm, gave my chest a gentle tap, and left the bar without looking back.
“Well then, rather than waiting until morning, I’ll go explain now.”
For my part, I began to act in accordance with what I wanted to do.
Today’s word: The process accompanies the conclusion.
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