Chapter 68 Shaya: I Have No Feelings (Seeking First Subscription)
Blood flowers fell with the wind,
Dyeing the tranquil night red.
Sylvia, enduring the sharp pain, leaned to the side, her eyes widening as she looked at Shaya behind her.
“Why?”
She stared directly at the black-haired youth before her, her dry lips moving slightly, uttering a silent murmur.
The soft words transformed into an ancient Word of Power, and dark shadows began to flow out.
Within her deep violet beautiful eyes, there was only confusion, doubt—
Shock, and bewilderment.
More than half a year ago.
Sylvia had considered ending her own life on that cold winter night.
It was the black-haired, black-eyed youth before her who had saved her from the bone-chilling waters of the Grant Sea.
It was he who told her—
Whether a person is righteous or sinful does not stem from their origins or where they will ultimately go; it depends solely on Sylvia’s own choices.
It was he who gave her the courage to live amidst boundless malice and darkness.
It was also he who made an agreement with her: once she could fully control the monster deep within her heart, he would take her to the end of the sea, to see the myriad waters and mountains beyond the Royal Capital, and the splendor of the starlit sky.
The myriad memories surged into her heart in an instant.
This past half-year had been the most beautiful time Sylvia had experienced since her mother’s death.
On countless pitch-black nights without stars, it was precisely this memory that allowed Sylvia to maintain her original resolve and not waver in the face of the pain and temptation of the Bronze Cross.
She had thought this beauty would continue forever.
She had thought she could grow old with Brother Shaya like this.
When they were both too old to walk, sitting on lounge chairs in a mountain cottage, basking in the sun, they could look back at their first meeting and smile at each other.
Simple, yet enduring.
But at this very moment.
Those beautiful, sweet, and timeless scenes were shattering like a dream.
Behind the myriad collapsing fragments was the black-haired youth slowly withdrawing his blood-colored blade from her back.
This familiar figure had once brought Sylvia immense peace, but now, he was icy cold and utterly strange.
The weakness from severe blood loss made her consciousness hazy and blurred, and she stumbled, falling to her knees.
But Sylvia continued to look directly into Shaya’s eyes, awaiting his answer.
She hoped Shaya would give her a reason, even if it was fabricated and weak—
Perhaps Shaya was being blackmailed and forced to do this, or perhaps he had no choice but to act this way.
Or perhaps Shaya’s mind was controlled by an illusion at that moment, and someone manipulated him to thrust the blade into her back.
However, as if seeing through Sylvia’s thoughts.
Shaya sighed faintly, his black eyes still icy and indifferent.
“So, Sylvia.”
“You are truly foolish and naive, so much so that it makes me want to laugh.”
“The ironclad facts are already before you, and yet you still want me to give you an explanation.”
“Very well—”
Shaya paused slightly, the guilt within him rising steadily.
Women were such creatures; once they gave their true hearts, the thing called love would madly wash away their rationality.
Sylvia had no experience interacting with outsiders since childhood, and her emotional intelligence and experience were close to zero.
So when she fell in love with him, she gave her all, trusted him blindly, and would believe anything he said.
Even though Shaya had stabbed her in the back thoroughly just now, Shaya was certain—
As long as he gave a few random excuses, Sylvia would unconditionally forgive him and even fill in the logical gaps herself.
Just like now, Sylvia offered no resistance, no struggle, and showed no anger of betrayal.
She merely looked at Shaya with confusion and bewilderment, her deep violet eyes even tinged with a hint of pleading.
It was like a kitten abandoned by its master, running desperately behind the departing car, hoping the owner would change their mind, stop the car, and pick it up again.
But Shaya steeled his heart.
He would only do what he had to do now.
This was for Sylvia, and for Shaya himself.
So at this moment, Shaya would not be burdened by emotions like guilt.
“Since you are so stubborn, I will give you an explanation.”
Shaya looked down at the maiden kneeling amidst the blood-colored sea of flowers and spoke word by word.
“Sylvia, there has never been unprovoked love in this world, nor unprovoked hatred.”
“My parents died because of you; this is an unchangeable, ironclad fact. There may be saints who repay evil with kindness in this world, but I am not one of them.”
“The reason I chose to save you when you jumped into the sea was simply because of Lord Norton’s mission directive.”
“A living you is more valuable to us than a dead you.”
“That is all.”
“Then, those words you said to me, the promise to take me to the other side of the Grant Sea…”
Sylvia’s soft murmur was cut off unceremoniously by Shaya before she could finish.
“Yes, they were all just lines to appease you while carrying out the mission.”
“Sylvia, you are even more foolish than I imagined, easily swayed by a few common sweet nothings, allowing me to control you.”
“I should really thank you for saving me a lot of trouble.”
His indifferent words were like sharp knives, cutting into Sylvia’s soul.
The blades were not physical but caused more pain than the stab wound.
So, it was all fake.
The words by the bonfire that winter night that gave me the motivation to live…
The promise to take me to see the myriad waters and mountains.
Since birth, Sylvia had lived in a lightless tower.
Once, someone had opened a window for her on the tower wall.
Sunlight streamed through the window to the bottom of the tower, and for the first time, Sylvia, accustomed to darkness, yearned for light.
But now, that window was closed.
Heavy iron shackles once again sealed the lightless tower, colder and more solid than before.
The last shred of Sylvia’s resolve dissolved.
She could no longer maintain her posture and collapsed into the sea of Night Orchid flowers covering the mountainside.
Her consciousness gradually faded, dissipating into the boundless darkness, deep and directionless.
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