Chapter 44: Ordinary days until school starts
Lu Zhiyin and Qin An spent some time peacefully. During this period, she took care of Qin An’s daily life, cooked for her every day, bickered with her, and offered small suggestions on interpersonal relationships. This life continued for a long time.
Qin An seemed to have gotten used to Lu Zhiyin’s presence, and their conversations became much more familiar. She was no longer displeased with Lu Zhiyin’s occasional teasing, or rather, she had simply gotten used to it. Lu Zhiyin could sense their relationship growing closer, which made her feel at ease. This life continued until the new semester was about to begin.
Lu Zhiyin woke up from the sofa as usual. The wound on her neck had already scabbed over.
“Yawn~”
She yawned and prepared to make breakfast for Qin An as usual. However, before she could move, the door opened, and Long Qinxin, whom she hadn’t seen for a long time, returned.
“Zhiyin.”
Long Qinxin had changed out of her down jacket and was now wearing an excessively long white sweater, with black stockings on her legs. Lu Zhiyin was a bit dazed. She looked up and met Long Qinxin’s increasingly haggard face. Lu Zhiyin could imagine how exhausted she was taking care of her parents, and she could also anticipate how painful it would be for her when her parents died. This was exactly what Lu Zhiyin was looking forward to – to deliver another blow to Long Qinxin when she was at her most painful. Thinking of this, Lu Zhiyin became a little excited.
“Good morning, Qinxin. Why are you back today?”
Climbing onto the wheelchair, Lu Zhiyin was still in her pajamas, which were a bit loose. Long Qinxin’s gaze followed the girl’s faintly visible collarbone. She walked slowly to Lu Zhiyin’s side and adjusted her collar. As she leaned closer to Lu Zhiyin, she could smell a familiar subtle fragrance, and the smell was no longer that of rotten flesh, which made Long Qinxin feel relieved.
“School starts tomorrow, so I need to register.” Explaining her reason for returning to Lu Zhiyin, Long Qinxin pushed Lu Zhiyin back into the bedroom and began busy changing Lu Zhiyin’s clothes.
“Hmm? Is that so? I almost forgot the time.” This was true. Lu Zhiyin’s current life had no hope. The only thing she could count on was for Qin An to get Leng Qing Qiu out of prison as soon as possible, and then die in front of Long Qinxin, ending her disabled life. She hadn’t been abused for a long time, but life was still a torment for her. She didn’t seem to be living for herself, which made her feel lost from time to time. She had actually experienced the feeling of death once, but it had been too long ago, and she had forgotten. She thought she might need to reawaken her fear of death. This was also one of the reasons she looked forward to the day she would commit suicide in front of Long Qinxin.
“…My parents, their condition is not very good.” Long Qinxin didn’t notice Lu Zhiyin’s distraction. While putting on a light pink, cute hoodie for Lu Zhiyin, she whispered to her about her parents’ condition. “They wake up less and less, and they are in a lot of pain every time they wake up. The pain from their skin disease is almost unbearable, and painkillers are not very effective.”
“I… I don’t know what to do. I don’t want them to continue suffering like this, but I don’t want them to leave me either…” Long Qinxin’s voice was tinged with sadness.
“I still remember, my mother hurt you once, Zhiyin. Can you tell me what I should do?” After helping Lu Zhiyin change into formal clothes, Long Qinxin picked up the necessary documents. She pushed Lu Zhiyin downstairs.
“…What else can be done?” Lu Zhiyin could probably guess Long Qinxin’s dilemma. She might be struggling with whether to keep her parents alive in pain or to end their suffering in a more humane way. Logically, Lu Zhiyin should suggest euthanasia for Long Qinxin’s parents, but Lu Zhiyin didn’t want to do that. Long Qinxin’s relatives couldn’t leave so soon. If they died too early, her own death would probably have much less impact on Long Qinxin. Thinking this, Lu Zhiyin made a decision that was somewhat unscrupulous.
“You are their daughter. Besides continuing to support them well, what else can you do? No matter what, they are the ones who raised you, Qinxin. Don’t make a decision that you will regret for the rest of your life.” Lu Zhiyin closed her eyes slightly.
“But… they seem to be really uncomfortable…” Long Qinxin hesitated.
“No matter what, living is better than death. No matter how much pain your parents are in, didn’t they choose not to end it themselves? It’s better not to make decisions for them.” Lu Zhiyin touched Long Qinxin’s hand.
“…Mm…” Her voice was barely audible. Long Qinxin pushed Lu Zhiyin to the stairwell, picked her up horizontally, and prepared to carry her downstairs.
“I understand… I will continue to take care of them.” Long Qinxin was a little unhappy.
“But school is starting soon, and if I have to take care of them…”
“Compared to family, academics are not important.” Lu Zhiyin interrupted Long Qinxin.
“Hmm? I don’t mind. Actually, I’m mainly worried about you, Zhiyin. If I go to take care of them, there will be no one to take you to and from school. You can’t go upstairs yourself… Ah, wait a moment, I’ll go get the wheelchair.” The conversation paused here temporarily. Lu Zhiyin was placed on the steps at the entrance of the stairwell. She looked out at the bright street outside the corridor. The pedestrians were still passing by, almost invisible. Everything seemed unchanged. She waited for a while. It took Long Qinxin about ten minutes to bring the wheelchair down.
“Phew… phew…” She panted slightly, put Lu Zhiyin back into the wheelchair, and then pushed her towards the nearby school.
“Where were we? Oh… it’s inconvenient for you to go to and from school alone. Shall I ask for a long leave of absence for you after school starts? Or should we just not register this semester?” As Long Qinxin finished speaking, Lu Zhiyin frowned. She always felt that preventing her from going to school was Long Qinxin’s true intention, and indeed it was. Long Qinxin hadn’t been with Lu Zhiyin lately, and she had become mentally fragile, very afraid of losing Lu Zhiyin.
“…Ah, I still have to go to school. Perhaps… I can board at school? The school seems to have an elevator, which would be more convenient and safer. If I don’t study, I’ll become stupid.” Lu Zhiyin didn’t want to return to Long Qinxin’s apartment. She disliked Long Qinxin and the place that was full of Long Qinxin’s aura. Of course, if Long Qinxin insisted on her dropping out, she wouldn’t have much room to resist.
“…Okay, let’s see. I’ll try my best to take you to and from school every day.” Long Qinxin didn’t intend to force Lu Zhiyin to stay in the apartment. She chose to make herself more tired.
