## Chapter 32: She Wants to Leave
Staggering back to the dormitory door.
My abdomen was still throbbing with pain, and my mouth still tasted of blood.
Lu Zhiyin’s tears had almost dried up, her eyes feeling parched.
Her legs felt as if they were filled with lead, incredibly heavy.
Had nothing changed? Was she still as weak as before? Perhaps, Lu Zhiyin didn’t care.
She didn’t want to hide herself; she was who she was. The events she had experienced, whether meticulously plotting against others, being forced, or personally killing people, were not the true Lu Zhiyin.
But it seemed, in this terrible world, she couldn’t be herself.
She could only force herself to become fierce, learn to scheme, and cast aside the goodness that should reside in her chest.
“Cough, cough…”
She coughed twice, spitting out some crimson blood.
She had already tried to walk down that path once. After learning she couldn’t go home, Lu Zhiyin didn’t want to tread that dirty road again.
Lu Zhiyin pushed open the dormitory door. As soon as the door was open, she could no longer support herself, and her body collapsed limply.
The tip of her nose was filled with the smell of blood, and the front of her clothes was stained red.
Leng Qing Qiu had hit her very hard, showing no mercy.
Lu Zhiyin couldn’t help but wonder, would she die? Would death bring release? The answer was, of course, no.
Ouyang Qing, who hadn’t tired of her yet, wouldn’t allow her to escape the countless torments she was subjected to.
“You’re back?”
A cold voice echoed in the pitch-black dormitory.
It was Ouyang Qing.
“Ah… you, cough, cough… you’re not asleep yet…”
The pain made Lu Zhiyin’s speech slurred.
She slowly raised her head. In the darkness, a figure was sitting on a bed not far away.
In the darkness, a faint golden hue revealed the person’s identity.
It was Ouyang Qing.
“Mhm.”
With a soft “mhm,” Ouyang Qing’s voice was devoid of any joy or sorrow. It was this Ouyang Qing that Lu Zhiyin feared the most.
Ouyang Qing had waited for Lu Zhiyin all night, and Lu Zhiyin had only returned now.
Ouyang Qing was very displeased.
The selfish, young deity never considered others. She would take revenge for any displeasure she felt.
Standing up, Ouyang Qing snapped her fingers, and a bright white light illuminated the room.
Having been in the darkness for so long, the sudden light stimulated Lu Zhiyin’s eyes. She closed them, and it took a while for her vision to slowly adjust.
“…”
In silence, Ouyang Qing stood before Lu Zhiyin, appraising the disheveled girl before her.
Her hair was slightly messy, and her gray-white long hair was stained with dirt and blood.
The girl’s face bore evident tear streaks, her eyes rimmed with red, making her look pitiful.
A trace of dried blood marked her lips. Following her gaze downwards, Ouyang Qing’s eyes landed on the school uniform collar soaked in blood.
What was once white was now stained red, a shocking sight.
Ouyang Qing thought, if the person before her wasn’t her toy but an ordinary person, she might have already died?
Keeping her alive with divine power was as simple as breathing.
She wouldn’t let her die before she got tired of playing with her.
Squatting down, Ouyang Qing took Lu Zhiyin’s hand and dragged her to the bedside, sitting on the edge herself.
“I’ve waited for you for a long time.”
Ouyang Qing’s expression was not good, and Lu Zhiyin could tell this was a precursor to her anger.
“…”
Her heart filled with bitterness, she thought, she probably couldn’t escape another torment. Last time, she was turned into a doll; what humiliation awaited her this time?
It was so painful, so painful.
In this terrible world, who would be worried about her? Zhu? And who else? No one.
Perhaps there were people who had genuinely liked her in the past, but for the sake of a so-called mission, she had to destroy that affection with her own hands.
Having decided not to wear the mask anymore, Lu Zhiyin no longer suppressed her emotions.
Joy was joy, and sorrow was sorrow.
Ouyang Qing saw the sorrow in the girl’s eyes. Those red eyes could no longer shed tears.
Hidden behind her back, her clenched fist suddenly relaxed.
She gave up the thought of punishing the girl before her.
For the first time, she was not so self-willed.
Suddenly standing up, Ouyang Qing felt she was going mad.
What a joke! She actually felt pity for a mere toy? She had done countless cruel things before, so why couldn’t she go through with it now?
Ouyang Qing paced back and forth in the dormitory.
The frequent footsteps made Lu Zhiyin’s mind hazy.
She just felt so cold, so tired, and she wanted to rest.
But she didn’t dare to sleep, not knowing what Ouyang Qing might do once she did.
“…*Hoo*… So annoying…”
Ouyang Qing ran her hand through her golden hair, showing a rare moment of discomposure.
“…”
Without a word, as Ouyang Qing walked past her, Lu Zhiyin grabbed Ouyang Qing’s ankle.
The touch on her foot made Ouyang Qing pause. She looked down, and what greeted her eyes was the girl’s increasingly pale face.
“Ouyang Qing… you never intended to let me go home, did you?”
Lu Zhiyin asked softly.
She felt a little nervous.
What kind of question would she face for asking this? Would Ouyang Qing kick away someone who dared to touch her? Lu Zhiyin knew that Ouyang Qing looked down on her.
“…”
Ouyang Qing didn’t answer, but often, silence was the best reply.
Lu Zhiyin sighed silently. She let go and, supporting herself on the ground, struggled to get up.
Her abdomen was still throbbing with pain, and Lu Zhiyin couldn’t stand up straight.
“Cough… Can I… stop doing missions? I want to leave this city and go somewhere else. You just want to have fun; leaving here is the same, isn’t it? I can take you to eat many delicious things and play many fun games.”
Since she couldn’t go home anyway, Lu Zhiyin didn’t want to do those damn missions anymore.
She also didn’t want to be threatened by anyone. Being photographed in an indecent manner was nothing. If she left this city, wouldn’t it be like a bird flying freely in the vast sky?
Ultimately, Lu Zhiyin’s only obstacle was the deity before her.
“…”
Ouyang Qing did not answer. Time ticked by, and she remained silent.
The silent atmosphere continued for a long time. Lu Zhiyin’s heart sank little by little. When Ouyang Qing shook her head, Lu Zhiyin’s meager hope was completely shattered, leaving only despair.
She could do nothing.
Why, why couldn’t she accomplish anything? She couldn’t go home. She wanted to become evil but couldn’t bear her hypocritical self. Now, she just wanted to shed her hypocritical mask and live peacefully as herself, but she still couldn’t escape the fate of being toyed with.
Her body felt heavier and heavier, her heart nearing death. Lu Zhiyin seemed to have no strength left to sustain her life.
The goal she had just found, which could sustain her, was shattered in an instant. Lu Zhiyin mechanically shuffled her feet, returning to her bed.
Holding tightly the doll she had wanted to give Ouyang Qing but was rejected, Lu Zhiyin buried her head in the doll.
Ouyang Qing simply watched this scene.
Her heart was filled with mixed emotions as she looked at the girl clutching the doll, her shoulders shaking slightly.
Ouyang Qing wanted to do something, but she didn’t know what. She reached out as if to pat Lu Zhiyin’s shoulder, but halfway through, she withdrew her hand.
She still couldn’t let go of her divine pride.
The agreed-upon matters couldn’t be changed, and neither could the chasm between deity and human.
Ouyang Qing returned to her bed, feeling dejected.
