Chapter 39: Ouyang Qing’s Heart is Troubled
Lu Zhiyin closed her eyes, her forehead resting on the desk.
She didn’t know what she truly wanted at this moment. Revenge? No, she no longer wished for revenge.
Returning home was impossible, and as for death… She wouldn’t die before the deity grew tired of her.
At the same time, Lu Zhiyin feared death.
She had died twice. The first death was painless, but the nothingness of her second death left a deep impression.
It was an experience a hundred times more painful than her current state of living.
Death was as terrifying as life.
“I really want to live a good life…”
Lu Zhiyin didn’t dislike living; she just disliked living as a toy.
Murmuring to herself, Lu Zhiyin’s slender shoulders trembled.
“…”
Although Lu Zhiyin hadn’t spoken, Ouyang Qing heard her clearly.
She stood up, positioning herself behind Lu Zhiyin, looking down at the girl’s messy gray-white hair.
As if possessed, Ouyang Qing leaned down and embraced Lu Zhiyin from behind.
She used her divine power to heal the wounds on Lu Zhiyin’s back.
Her warm divine power contrasted sharply with her chilling body temperature.
“…What are you doing…”
Sensing Ouyang Qing’s approach, Lu Zhiyin paused for a moment before asking.
“…”
This time, it was Ouyang Qing’s turn to fall silent.
Ah, what was she doing? What did she want to do? Ouyang Qing herself was unsure.
She felt a sense of confusion.
She disliked the current Lu Zhiyin.
Images from since she arrived in this world flashed through her mind, both her interactions with Lu Zhiyin and what she observed when Lu Zhiyin wasn’t around, the communication between others.
This world was dirty, but it also had its redeeming qualities.
Ouyang Qing had witnessed many instances of people forming pairs, poking at each other’s sore spots, only to reconcile after a noisy argument.
Such relationships were probably what people called… friends?
When Ouyang Qing saw such pairings, she would softly call them foolish and quickly leave.
But Ouyang Qing didn’t truly dislike such relationships; she noticed those people were happy.
These people reminded Ouyang Qing of herself when she went out to have fun with Lu Zhiyin, and the warmth she felt when holding Lu Zhiyin’s hand.
Ouyang Qing realized that humans could be more than just toys to her.
“…”
Lowering her gaze, Ouyang Qing’s heart was in turmoil.
She despised humans, viewing them as ants. She was unwilling to abandon her established values and become friends with humans.
Of course, she knew how to bring the girl’s soul back.
She only needed to destroy the world she had created with her own hands. She only needed to tell Lu Zhiyin, “You can go home now, the game is over.” She only needed to apologize for her capricious actions that caused Lu Zhiyin suffering.
“…”
Caressing the turtle doll beside her, Ouyang Qing finally seemed to understand what she wanted. She no longer wanted toys; she wanted a… friend?
Achieving this goal wouldn’t be difficult for her.
However, her inherent pride prevented Ouyang Qing from speaking the words.
She needed some time to consider.
Separating from Lu Zhiyin, Ouyang Qing stiffly reached out and grabbed Lu Zhiyin’s hand.
Feeling the warmth in the girl’s palm, Ouyang Qing’s heart was in utter chaos.
She was facing a very difficult choice.
After much deliberation, Ouyang Qing ultimately chose to evade the issue.
“I’m going back.”
Ouyang Qing left the classroom.
She wandered through the corridors of the teaching building.
Before long, students started arriving in the classrooms one after another, and the previously empty corridor became lively.
Ouyang Qing could see students walking into the classrooms, arm in arm and chatting happily. She felt a flicker of envy.
As a deity, she envied humans whom she had created with her own hands.
Ouyang Qing found it incredible.
…
Inside the classroom, Lu Zhiyin shifted her body.
A warm current flowed through her, and the pain in her back had disappeared.
However, her legs were still weak, and her spirit remained fatigued.
Ouyang Qing had healed her injuries, but not completely.
This might be because Lu Zhiyin had refused Ouyang Qing’s offer of a second chance…
“So tired, so tired…”
Lu Zhiyin buried her head in her arms.
“Good morning, dirty thing.”
Long Qinxin’s detestable voice rang in Lu Zhiyin’s ears, disturbing her peace.
Long Qinxin entered the classroom and noticed the empty seat next to Lu Zhiyin.
With Ouyang Qing absent, she had no one to fear.
She had driven Lu Zhiyin away that very morning. She disliked Lu Zhiyin’s lifeless spirit, but Lu Zhiyin’s face still made Long Qinxin unable to resist approaching her.
Long Qinxin thought of herself as pathetic.
“…”
Without replying, Lu Zhiyin raised her head, glanced at Long Qinxin, and then wearily lowered her head again.
She couldn’t be bothered to retort.
“You!”
Long Qinxin was angered by Lu Zhiyin’s dismissive attitude.
She grabbed a strand of Lu Zhiyin’s white hair and pulled, trying to elicit a reaction from Lu Zhiyin through pain.
Unfortunately, she failed.
Even after the strand of hair was pulled out, Lu Zhiyin remained unfazed.
“Sigh… I’m really going crazy… If her attitude were even slightly better, she would feel so much better.”
Clutching the strand of white hair in her hand, Long Qinxin sniffed the hair in her palm. The scent was exactly the same as the person she yearned for in her memory.
Momentarily dazed, Long Qinxin thought of a way to provoke a reaction from Lu Zhiyin.
“Hey, I say, if I tell Leng Qing Qiu that I took your first time, what will she do to you?”
Long Qinxin leaned down and whispered into Lu Zhiyin’s ear.
“…Don’t you find me disgusting? Why are you still coming close…”
Lu Zhiyin finally spoke.
As her despondent words were spoken, Long Qinxin was overjoyed.
She didn’t care what Lu Zhiyin specifically said; as long as the girl, who had been silently unresponsive, spoke, she felt happy.
The more the person in front of her didn’t want to do something, the more Long Qinxin insisted on forcing her to do it.
She was acting like a spoiled child craving attention.
Getting up wearily, Lu Zhiyin didn’t want to stay under the same roof as Long Qinxin.
To have her chastity taken and then be kicked away would make anyone uncomfortable.
Lu Zhiyin was simply despairing, too tired to communicate or resist, not foolish.
She was not a proper doll; her heart still ached.
Long Qinxin watched Lu Zhiyin sway as she left. She was about to chase after her when the class bell rang at an inconvenient time.
Long Qinxin gritted her teeth and chose to return to her seat.
She thought, “Since ‘Lu Shiyu’ is still attending this school, I can always find her, no need to rush.”
…
In the corridor of the teaching building, Lu Zhiyin saw Ouyang Qing.
She was leaning against the corridor railing, looking troubled.
Lu Zhiyin ignored Ouyang Qing and walked aimlessly.
As she walked, she arrived at the school library.
Why did she come here? Perhaps because Zhu Qing was one of the few people who held no ill will towards her, and Zhu Qing often stayed in the library…
Lu Zhiyin pushed open the library door. The library was empty; Zhu Qing was likely in class.
Dragging her weary body, Lu Zhiyin sat down next to a row of bookshelves.
She curled up, intending to rest in this place that was at least a little bit gentle towards her.
