Chapter 72: Everyone Is Lonely
“Huu… finally I can rest…”
After Leng Qing Qiu left, Lu Zhiyin closed the door, sighing with relief.
Pushing aside the hair that blocked her vision, Lu Zhiyin opened her phone.
After a period of arguing with Leng Qing Qiu, it was almost seven o’clock.
The rain outside continued to patter incessantly.
Feeling somewhat annoyed, Lu Zhiyin maneuvered her wheelchair slowly back to her bedroom.
Today, she had changed subtly; she could lie now.
She didn’t know if this was good or bad.
Back in her bedroom, Lu Zhiyin casually turned on the light. She rummaged through the wardrobe for a long time and finally found a thin pair of pajamas.
She was very tired today and wanted to rest comfortably.
Carrying her pajamas and phone, she slowly climbed onto the bed and began to undress.
Completely naked, she then put on her pajamas.
The sensation of her skin against the thin pajamas felt strange. In her previous life, she had worn pajamas before, but never felt so sensitive as she did now.
If she could, Lu Zhiyin wished her senses were more dulled.
If she weren’t so sensitive, perhaps enduring abuse would have been easier.
“…When will I be brave again?”
Closing her eyes, Lu Zhiyin looked at the mirror in the room.
Leng Qing Qiu’s favorability was at 60, Long Qinxin at 58, Qin An at 20, and Zhu Qing at 3.
Leng Qing Qiu and Long Qinxin’s favorability had increased dramatically, but Lu Zhiyin still didn’t know what stage these favorability values corresponded to. Perhaps, the higher the value, the harder it would be to increase.
The seemingly high numbers weren’t really that impressive.
Leng Qing Qiu saw her as a toy, while Long Qinxin saw her as a hard-won friend. Currently, there were no romantic feelings. As for Qin An… she probably just found entertainment in her.
Feeling a little melancholic, Lu Zhiyin opened her phone.
She clicked into the game called “Heroic Chronicle” and logged into her account.
Her first client, Ziyan, was not online. She hadn’t deleted her as a friend, which was probably a good thing. She might be able to earn money from her in the future.
After a small moment of joy, disappointment followed.
There were no new friend requests, meaning no orders to take.
“Boosting service available, price negotiable.”
Unsure of how she felt, Lu Zhiyin posted this in the public chat, followed by some vulgar language.
Most of it was directed at her gender due to her avatar, believing she was not skilled and only wanted to scam people.
It seemed to have no effect.
“Huu…”
Lu Zhiyin sighed, trying to calm herself down.
Outside, the rain continued to fall, the sound of raindrops hitting the ground and tiles incessantly noisy.
Exiting the game, she opened Qiuqiu. The only two friends she saw were Ziyan, her client, and Bai Mao, who was Leng Qing Qiu.
On a rainy night alone, looking at the almost empty friends list, Lu Zhiyin felt an indescribable emotion.
She could understand why rainy nights were always associated with homesickness.
She missed home again.
Being forced to change herself and do things she disliked was unpleasant.
Closing her eyes, Lu Zhiyin clicked on Ziyan’s chat window. She had sent a message at some point.
“Are you a student at Baihe High School?”
Seeing this question, Lu Zhiyin fell into a brief silence.
Although she was a bit slow, she wasn’t so foolish as to carelessly reveal her real address.
“No, I’m not a student.”
Lyng to be casual, because she wasn’t interacting face-to-face, Lu Zhiyin didn’t feel nervous.
“Then your avatar?”
Unexpectedly, the person replied instantly.
It seemed they were from the same school.
“Internet picture.”
Lu Zhiyin’s life was already messy, and she didn’t want anyone else interfering.
After a simple two-word reply, she stopped looking at the client’s messages and instead opened the chat with Leng Qing Qiu.
“Good night.”
She said good night, followed by a ZZZ emoji.
After doing this, Lu Zhiyin felt her mind becoming very tired.
She set an alarm on her phone and placed it next to her pillow.
“…I really… want to go home…”
Crawling into bed, Lu Zhiyin curled into a ball, burying herself completely in the blanket.
The sound of the rain outside was muffled by the blanket, becoming much quieter. Lu Zhiyin felt a rare moment of peace.
Hugging her immobile legs, Lu Zhiyin soon fell asleep.
…
“…Huu…”
Back at her own home, Leng Qing Qiu exhaled. She took off her school uniform jacket, tossed it carelessly by the door, and turned on the light.
The whole day had made her feel displeased.
The guilt of abandoning Lu Zhiyin, the anger of seeing Long Qinxin close to Lu Zhiyin, and various other emotions were all mixed together, making her agitated.
Closing the door, Leng Qing Qiu stood motionless by the entrance, listening to the rain outside.
She took off her shoes and walked barefoot into the room where her parents’ memorial portraits were displayed.
“…”
Standing at the doorway, Leng Qing Qiu stopped herself from entering.
“I’m sorry…”
She apologized to her parents.
What kind of person did her parents expect her to be?
Intelligent, cheerful, gentle, brave, and just.
It seemed she had failed to be any of them.
Always topping the class in exams, being able to commit serious crimes discreetly and unnoticed, and also being able to pretend to be someone else in front of everyone.
Seemingly intelligent, but she couldn’t see through her own heart; it was the same in all aspects.
She felt like an idiot.
Cheerful? Perhaps some people saw her that way, but only she and Lu Zhiyin knew how dark she truly was behind closed doors.
Gentle? That word hardly applied. Those she killed never found her gentle.
Brave? Not really. Boldness that walks on the right path isn’t enough to be called brave.
Sense of justice… perhaps a long time ago, she used the word “justice” to numb herself, but now, she knew very well that her actions couldn’t be called justice.
Killing those who had committed crimes might be justifiable, but bullying Lu Zhiyin? That was completely inexplicable. No matter what, Lu Zhiyin was innocent.
Even if she had Lu Zhiyin kill someone, it was her own fault, not Lu Zhiyin’s.
“…I really am a scumbag, aren’t I?”
Looking at her parents’ portraits again, Leng Qing Qiu closed the door.
She had already decided to stick to her path. No longer claiming justice, evil is evil. She was satisfying her twisted desires by killing others.
Clenching her fist, Leng Qing Qiu went to the kitchen, got two slices of bread, ate a few bites to fill her stomach, and then returned to her bedroom.
She took out her phone, opened Qiuqiu, and saw a message from her childhood friend.
Glancing at it briefly, Leng Qing Qiu’s heart was in turmoil, unsure how to reply, so she simply replied with an “mm.”
“Sleep, and tomorrow, perhaps you won’t feel so irritable.”
Accepting her true nature, only then could she live comfortably. A solitary life was difficult to endure. If she couldn’t make herself a bit more comfortable, then it would be truly terrible.
Leng Qing Qiu suddenly realized that she was also afraid of loneliness. Then why hadn’t she felt sad about being alone in the past? Probably because she had numbed herself with killing.
After all, she was only a child of a few years old when she lost her parents. It was not easy to grow this old. Her psychological state becoming so twisted wasn’t entirely incomprehensible.
…
“I’m home.”
Getting out of the car at her house, Long Qinxin returned home holding an umbrella. Pushing the door open, she was greeted by a dark living room.
As usual, she announced her return, but her parents responded as they always did—with silence.
Casually tossing her school bag by the door, Long Qinxin sat down in front of the entrance, hugging her knees, and quietly looking at the plants in the yard that had been thoroughly washed by the rain.
A thin layer of water had already accumulated in the yard, and the rain showed no signs of stopping. In this case, flooding was inevitable.
Outside the yard gate, the driver drove away, perhaps returning to the garage.
After watching the rain for a while, Long Qinxin stood up. She turned on the chandelier inside, bright lights dispelling the darkness.
The lights in the yard also came on, casting warm yellow light upon the gloomy yard. The accumulated water on the ground reflected the warm light, looking quite cozy.
Unfortunately, Long Qinxin didn’t feel cozy.
What was the use of warm light? This home was still so lifeless. Although there were three people in the house, most of the time, it was no different from being alone.
“…Classmate Zhiyin.”
She spoke the white-haired girl’s name again, unable to forget her.
Coming to the coffee table, Long Qinxin sat on the sofa and untied her ponytail.
Her waterfall of black hair cascaded down, resting on her shoulders.
“…”
Silently, Long Qinxin took off her school uniform jacket.
It was a bit cold due to the rain, but thinking of her only friend made it seem not so cold.
She thought of Lu Zhiyin’s home.
A small, old-looking bungalow, probably with not-so-good furniture.
Perhaps she could invite Lu Zhiyin to live with her?
With this thought, Long Qinxin went upstairs and pushed open the last door at the end of the corridor.
What greeted her eyes was a couple lying in bed, holding their phones.
These were Long Qinxin’s parents. Due to an accident they had suffered, they were now mostly immersed in the virtual world, as in the virtual world, they didn’t have to worry about people looking at them with strange eyes.
Her parents were considered darlings of heaven from childhood, admired and praised by others. It was normal for them to be unable to accept being called monsters.
“Dad… Mom…”
Turning on the room light, Long Qinxin looked at them.
Their skin was pale, and their exposed hands and faces had many red rashes, looking somewhat eerie.
“…”
In silence, the couple did not respond, only looking at Long Qinxin.
“Can I bring a classmate home to stay?”
As soon as Long Qinxin spoke these words, the pitiful couple’s faces showed expressions of terror.
They were afraid of being seen in their ugly state.
“No. You. Can’t.”
After a while, Long Qinxin’s mother finally gave an answer.
Her throat was probably injured, as her voice was drawn out, with excessively long pauses between words.
“I understand…”
Receiving her mother’s answer, Long Qinxin lowered her head and left the room, looking somewhat dejected.
Before leaving, she remembered to turn off the light and close the door.
“If not, will I really only be able to see her at school?”
Muttering to herself, Long Qinxin returned to her bedroom.
She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to spend most of her time alone. She wanted someone to accompany her.
Back in bed, she curled up under the covers. She had no appetite, so she decided not to eat dinner.
Her mind was filled with thoughts of Lu Zhiyin, constantly wondering how she could spend more time with her.
As she thought, Long Qinxin fell asleep.
…
“Father, you’re not coming home tonight either?”
In the living room of a high-end apartment, Qin An contacted her Judicial Officer father by landline.
While she acted imperiously at school, she became reserved when speaking to her father.
“Mhm, not coming back. I have work to do.”
A somewhat deep voice came from the other end of the phone, but Qin An clearly heard some suppressed moans and strange music.
It was obvious that what her father was doing was not what he claimed.
“…Mhm, I understand.”
Hanging up the phone, Qin An became irritable. She forcefully threw her school bag aside, scattering textbooks everywhere.
“Why, why, why do you always ignore me?”
She appeared very agitated, looking around at the expensive furniture in the house. There seemed to be nothing she could smash, which made her even angrier.
Quickly walking to the balcony of her home, Qin An allowed the rain-swept wind to lash at her.
Although she was accustomed to living alone, she was still unhappy.
If he didn’t care about her, then why did that scumbag give birth to her?
Qin An didn’t know.
She had also tried to gain her father’s approval, but had never succeeded.
Her father would scold and beat his subordinates, and extort bribes and “protection fees” from those in lower positions.
So, she imitated her father, scolding and beating her classmates. This clumsy imitation only earned her father’s contempt, but she successfully derived pleasure from these actions.
Thus, the bullying couldn’t stop.
“Why do you never care about me… Father, Mother… two scumbags…”
“Scumbags, scumbags, scumbags.”
She hit her knuckles against the balcony railing until the thin skin on her knuckles broke. The stinging sensation finally woke her from her frenzy.
Her mother remarried and ran off with another man long ago, so she no longer had a mother.
As for her father… that guy was a lecher who frequented brothels.
She hated her father, and by extension, she hated lechers.
While enjoying the benefits of her father’s status, she also harbored hatred for that man. Sometimes, she felt hypocritical.
But it didn’t matter. There were so many hypocrites in the world; she was just one more.
“Lu Zhiyin…”
A disabled name inexplicably surfaced in her mind.
She had just abused that person today.
Thinking of that person struggling and begging for mercy, Qin An felt a surge of exhilaration, and the pent-up dissatisfaction in her heart melted away.
She flopped onto the expensive leather sofa and closed her eyes.
