Chapter 83: Qin An’s Confusion
In the dim apartment, the blonde girl slowly stood up from the sofa.
Her mind, still groggy from just waking up, was filled with the artificial scent of instant noodles.
How long had she slept? She couldn’t remember, probably since she learned in the morning that she didn’t have to go to school.
She had spent the entire night alone, and then the entire day alone.
Qin An stood up, adjusted her school uniform, and carelessly zipped it up.
The front of the sleeves was flipped inside out, making her wrist uncomfortable, but she didn’t care, too lazy to deal with such trivial matters.
She also didn’t bother to flip the collar, as she was in her own home, and it didn’t matter how unkempt she was; no one would scold her.
The anger that had accumulated yesterday because her father wasn’t coming back was intended to be vented on that crippled white-haired person today, but the school unexpectedly declared a holiday, leaving her anger with no outlet.
The bottled-up anger made her less angry and more inexplicably uncomfortable.
“…A bit annoying… Tsk…”
Muttering to herself, Qin An turned on the light, and the white light illuminated the room.
On the coffee table in front of her was a stainless steel electric kettle and the packaging of Bai Shi Fu instant noodles; the artificial scent in the air came from the leftover soup of this bowl of instant noodles.
The smell wasn’t very good. As the daughter of a Judicial Officer, she shouldn’t be eating this kind of food, but being home alone, she was too lazy to cook and didn’t want to order takeout.
She didn’t like outsiders appearing in her home, not even in front of her door.
“…”
Silently, Qin An walked onto her own balcony, pushed open the floor-to-ceiling window, and stood on the balcony, letting the rain fall on her as her mood grew more and more irritable.
She took out her phone, which had very little battery left since it hadn’t been charged for a long time.
She dialed her father’s number.
“…”
With the busy signal, the call was hung up.
“…Why… Damn it…”
Cursin, Qin An felt as if something was blocking her heart, making her feel terrible.
She dialed the number again.
This time, the call was connected.
“Hello… are you coming back today?”
After the call was connected, Qin An’s words were a little hesitant. What was this? Fear? Or some other emotion?
Qin An wasn’t sure.
The middle-aged man on the other end of the phone did not hesitate and quickly gave an answer, but it was not an answer that satisfied Qin An.
“No, I’m busy.”
“Are you hanging up again?”
Before her father could hang up, Qin An’s question interrupted his action.
“Mm.”
A devoid-of-emotion “mm” made Qin An’s hand go weak.
She didn’t understand why she had such a father.
“You’re lying to me, right? Going to a prostitute again?”
Trying to suppress the dissatisfaction in her heart, Qin An made her tone as calm as possible.
“…”
Silence was her response.
“Why? Why are you always like this? Don’t you have a home? Why do you always prefer to spend the night at a brothel outside instead of coming home? Why do you always leave me alone? Why won’t you even glance at your daughter?”
The long-suppressed emotions suddenly erupted, and the “why”s tumbled out one after another.
She hated her father.
Her mother had left because of her father’s neglect. She longed for even a little bit of her father’s attention and importance. She tried to clumsily imitate what her father did, but only received more neglect and contempt.
Her words were almost shouted.
A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, briefly illuminating the sky, and then the world was shrouded in darkness again.
“Because you are too childish, and I don’t see any magnanimity in you. You don’t seem like my daughter, and I don’t intend for you to take over my position. You just need to spend my money, use the convenience I provide, and continue playing your pretend games. Isn’t that enough? What more do you want?”
The person on the other end of the phone didn’t seem angry. The man’s voice was very calm, which made it seem a bit cold. A biting coldness surged up from Qin An’s feet.
“Heh… Heh… Magnanimity? What is so-called magnanimity? Do you have magnanimity? Do you know how many absurd things you’ve done? You…”
“Enough.”
Before Qin An could finish, her father’s reprimand interrupted her.
“I will adopt a son later to inherit my position. You… take care of yourself.”
Giving Qin An no room for rebuttal, her father hung up the phone, leaving Qin An with a series of busy signals in her ear.
“…Hah… Haha…”
For some reason, she suddenly felt like laughing.
She couldn’t understand what magnanimity meant in her father’s words. She only found it absurd.
Her clothes were completely soaked, but the biting coldness came from within. She probably would never receive her father’s praise, and even in the future, it would be difficult to see him.
She touched her face, and her hand felt wet; it was probably just rain.
Her nose felt a bit sore. She stood blankly on the balcony for a while before moving.
“…Trash, bastard, if you don’t like me, why did you give birth to me? Damn it…”
Furious, Qin An disliked her own weakness. She cursed her father.
She threw the phone in her hand. The phone drew a beautiful arc in the night and then fell downwards.
Because the floor was very high, she didn’t hear the phone falling into the water.
She also wasn’t worried about the phone hitting someone. In such terrible weather, even stray dogs knew to find shelter from the rain and not wander around outside. Moreover, even if someone was hit and killed, she wouldn’t be held responsible.
She hadn’t killed anyone in all these years since she was young, not because she feared the consequences of killing someone, but simply because she didn’t want to kill.
Or rather, she feared it.
“Hoo… hoo… hoo…”
After letting go of the phone, Qin An remained on the balcony, letting the large raindrops hit her face.
She was panting, not from fatigue, but simply from anger.
Turning around, she returned to the living room, closed the floor-to-ceiling window, and slowly walked towards the bathroom, letting the raindrops drip from her clothes. A long water trail appeared where she walked.
She returned to the bathroom, filled the bathtub with hot water, and then, without taking off her clothes, lay down in the bathtub filled with hot water.
“…”
Silently, looking at the warm yellow light above, Qin An covered her inner emptiness with anger.
Compared to the children of other high-ranking officials her age, she was indeed unconventional.
She didn’t have long hair like other officials’ daughters, nor was she as well-behaved as them.
But in reality, her father had already started neglecting her before Qin An became the thug-like person she was now.
“Why… why won’t you even look at me a few more times?”
Covering her eyes with her forearm, Qin An muttered to herself.
After a short while, she fell asleep in the bathtub.
