Chapter 194 Chapter 189 The Hero Everyone Hates 4K
Entering the page, the first line reads:
“Teemo has always been seen as a “joke” hero in the eyes of people. He seems to have nothing to recommend, and while his damage isn’t high, he has consistently occupied a high position on the top lane win rate chart, combined with his adorable appearance, making him quite popular among female players…”
Now, Ji Ma’s gaze no longer lingers on the words “female players.”
She skims through a few lines of nonsense, her eyes passing over the skill introduction, and some memories come to mind.
She remembers that the reason this hero is irritating is because for enemies, his ultimate after level 6 is like planting land mines; stepping on them slows and causes damage.
For teammates, this hero is not much use in team fights.
Based on her experience in another world, Ji Ma concludes: so he is a trap assassin-type hero, no wonder he is so hated.
Her eyes continue down to recommended talent skill points.
Summoner talents require Flash and Ignite; he looks like a fierce hero in lane.
Talent points are 18/12/0.
Wait, when could talents go up to 18 points?
Ji Ma takes a closer look at the date; the guide is from three years ago, and the hero has changed.
She exits the webpage, preparing to search for other guides when the sound of entering the game comes through her pink bunny-ear headphones.
There’s no time to check guides now.
Ji Ma enters the game, slowly clicks into the shop, buys Doran’s Ring and two health potions, points to the top lane, and cuts back out.
“Ding ding ding.”
A signal sound comes from the headphones, but Ji Ma ignores it and continues searching for guides.
However, her computer skills aren’t so refined yet. As she finds the most recent guides and checks the equipment builds…
The pink bunny-ear headphones announce in English:
“First blood!”
Someone has died; from the tone, it sounds like a teammate. Ji Ma is very familiar with this voice. She switches back into the game, and the second voice from Summoner’s Rift indicates that two teammates are dead. She checks the map.
The opposing team of five invaded the jungle at level one and took down two teammates.
“Ding! Ding! Ding!”
Several question marks appear above Teemo (Ji Ma)’s fuzzy head.
“Swift Scout – Survives”
“Why didn’t you go for the level one team fight?” The newly colorful avatar of Yasuo types.
“Can you play?”
The player who previously claimed it was a promotion match types: “Hold steady, hold steady, brothers.”
Ji Ma intuitively mutes Yasuo’s signals, throwing question marks over his head as he walks toward the mid lane, continuing until the question marks are too frequent.
Minions spawn and the laning phase begins.
Ji Ma stares at Teemo’s fuzzy head, contemplating how to use it to extract more painful energy.
As her hazy memories become clearer, she recalls one of Teemo’s irritating traits. She presses Ctrl + 4, and Teemo immediately bursts into laughter:
“Hahaha, hehehe.”
It sounds like a mischievous child.
As the laning phase begins, Teemo (Ji Ma) hops along with the minion wave.
Despite her two teammates dying at the start, Ji Ma’s mindset remains unaffected. She’s here to play games, not caring about winning or losing, as long as she can torment the opponent or her teammates.
The life and death of her teammates are none of my business?
No matter how bad her teammates are, can they stop me from slaughtering the opponents and spreading pain?
Just as Teemo (Ji Ma) merrily walks to her lane, there’s no one on the opposite side.
From the nearby bush, Ji Ma senses a faint murderous aura, a result of her “Conspiracy Intuition” gained from being the “Chosen of the Lord of Deception.”
Without hesitation, she quickly distances herself from the bush.
A stone golem emerges from the brush; it is wide at the top and narrow at the bottom. It swings its hand at Teemo (Ji Ma), and the stone plate grinds deep marks into the ground, heading for Ji Ma, but its speed is extremely slow.
What a ridiculous ambush.
Teemo (Ji Ma) twists her butt to dodge the stone golem’s direction, but the stone plate surprisingly changes direction and hits Teemo (Ji Ma).
It’s actually a locked skill? Can’t dodge it?
Ji Ma’s confidence in laning comes from her ability to dodge slow skills 100% of the time.
So that shouldn’t be his main damage skill.
It seems she guessed right; the golem rarely throws its stone plate.
Ji Ma continues laning, maintaining a safe distance, occasionally approaching to throw a few poison darts, but the stone golem consistently prefers not to last-hit minions and stays in the back.
After some time, a stone flies from the ground and lands on it, giving it an additional shield.
That should be a tank-type hero; a solo kill would be somewhat difficult.
As Ji Ma thinks this, she last-hits minions, charging forward with a poison arrow, shattering the stone shield on the golem.
The golem retaliates with a swing, throwing the stone plate which lands on Teemo (Ji Ma)’s head, reducing her health.
She lost the trade.
Utilizing her control over the distance between the two, Ji Ma continues to last-hit while maintaining pressure, with both sides barely even.
At this point, she feels a murderous aura coming from the river bush. Without a word, she immediately retreats.
From the dark bush, a “Sound Wave” bursts out, narrowly grazing Teemo (Ji Ma)’s behind, crashing into her minions.
Foolish mortal.
Teemo (Ji Ma) laughs, “Hahaha.”
A figure rushes out from the bush, quickly getting next to the minions.
He is lean, wrapped in red cloth around his eyes, it’s none other than “Blind Monk.” Seeing that he missed hitting Teemo (Ji Ma), he slams the ground, sound waves splashing outward, landing on Teemo (Ji Ma), reducing her speed and charging at her.
Teemo (Ji Ma) has already run back into the range of the turret, laughing again, “Hehehe.”
Originally, the rules of the land dictated politeness.
Yet the Blind Monk charges under the turret, kicking Teemo (Ji Ma) in the butt. Teemo (Ji Ma) immediately turns around and fires a blinding dart at him. The Blind Monk swiftly dodges and leaps to the arriving stone golem.
The turret’s attack and the blinded dart strike him simultaneously. He would rather lose half his health than let Teemo (Ji Ma) off without a kick.
Teemo (Ji Ma) can only recall back to base, and the stone golem also retreats, losing no gold or experience.
Ji Ma is in a good mood, even when news comes of a double kill in the bot lane.
She reacts faster, casually dodging skills, sensing that someone might gank her in lane, and feels absolutely no pressure in her laning phase.
But once in lane, she realizes things aren’t as simple as she thought.
The stone golem bought double Doran’s rings, regenerating mana quickly, frequently using the stone plate skill, making it impossible for Ji Ma to dodge, while it can constantly regenerate shields.
Let alone securing a solo kill; Ji Ma can only last-hit and farm. With her health still trailing behind the stone golem, she can only control Teemo to dance a little in front of the minIONs, laughing occasionally.
When both sides reach level seven, Ji Ma’s health is down to less than four hundred, and her most expensive sports car is nearly out of health.
Naturally, Ji Ma won’t let that opportunity go, rushing in for a last hit, gaining over seventy gold.
The stone golem immediately rises from the ground, randomly crashing toward Ji Ma; the distance between them is less than 500 and shrinking rapidly, with a speed of 1835. The average person’s reaction speed is around 0.2s to 0.3s.
Without a read on it, dodging is extremely difficult.
While the stone golem is still in mid-air, he thinks he can flatten that annoying fuzzy little thing into a meat pie; then he will do a dance on it and show off his badge. He has already endured this laughter-filled Teemo for several minutes!
“Hehehe.”
Teemo (Ji Ma) neither dodges nor dies, laughing in place as the stone golem tries to slam into her. A golden light flashes, and Teemo (Ji Ma) disappears into the golden light.
The stone golem slams into empty air, leaving a large crater in the ground. Enraged, it throws out the stone plate and ignites Teemo (Ji Ma).
Teemo (Ji Ma) is engulfed in flames; she looks back and spits a poison dart at the golem, bouncing back to the turret, hopping and laughing:
“Hahaha, hehehe.”
In a fit of anger, the stone golem also flashes with golden light, slamming the ground, but unfortunately misses, failing to catch up, and can only watch helplessly as Teemo (Ji Ma) escapes.
From this, Ji Ma feels a faint surge of painful energy, and her mood brightens. After running a few steps behind the first turret, she starts recalling back to base.
An ominous intuition surges in her heart.
Teemo (Ji Ma) immediately runs toward the second turret, but it’s too late. From the dark corner, the Blind Monk dashes out, running a few steps before targeting the fleeing Teemo (Ji Ma). He raises his head and unleashes the Sound Wave.
The Sound Wave locks onto Teemo (Ji Ma)’s path. Ji Ma instantly turns around to dodge, but the Blind Monk flashes with golden light, closing the distance, spinning in mid-air to kick, ultimately kicking the low-health Teemo (Ji Ma) to death.
Teemo (Ji Ma) is just a step away from the second turret’s range.
Standing on Teemo (Ji Ma)’s body, the Blind Monk trembles grotesquely, proudly displaying his badge, and leisurely departs.
Ji Ma takes a breath; that feeling, where no matter what, they chase-attack you until you die, is really uncomfortable. If there were a balance sheet for painful energy, Ji Ma’s balance would currently be negative.
No worries; I didn’t slack on last hits and still have opportunities to torment the enemy.
At this moment.
Yasuo, who is infatuated with the mid-lane, has completely overlooked the situation in the top lane.
The opposing Void Prodigy floats in the air, swaggering toward him, continuously shooting purple beams from above, locking Yasuo in place.
The Blind Monk emerges from the shadows behind Yasuo, raises his hand, and hits with a Sound Wave, leaping up to kick and directly killing Yasuo.
Yasuo – survives
Yasuo – survives
…
Yasuo: “The jungler has come three times!”
“What can I do against that Prodigy?”
Yasuo: “Waiting to help you.”
Two minutes later.
The Void Prodigy locks Yasuo in place, and the Blind Monk kicks, directly killing him. Yasuo arrives just a moment too late, using his ultimate to try to save him, only to be caught and killed instead.
The Blind Monk gets a double kill.
Yasuo – survives
Yasuo – survives
Yasuo – survives
Yasuo indicates that the enemy has disappeared.
Ji Ma remains in a good mood, not missing any last hits and keeping her health up, although she feels a bit uncomfortable in lane—perhaps because she has encountered her natural enemy.
Several red exclamation marks light up around Teemo (Ji Ma).
Yasuo: “Switch lanes”
Teemo (Ji Ma): “No”
Yasuo: “You’re feeding; you’ve never played a single game, you’ve fattened up the Blind Monk.”
Yasuo: “What are you pretending to be a god for?”
Ji Ma really wants to curse at him, but considering that she primarily plays games to explore and gather painful energy, a way to restore her magical powers…
One hand steers in lane while the other hand types in the chat box, engaging in a verbal exchange with Yasuo.
But Yasuo arrives on Ji Ma’s lane, weaving through the minions, creating whirlwinds and easily stealing Ji Ma’s minions, tossing out skills as if they cost nothing.
Ji Ma watches the figure passing joyfully through the minion wave, harvesting all the minions, feeling a surge of disgust rise within her.
She suddenly remembers that this hero is the most irritating one. From the very beginning, she picked the wrong champion.
Ji Ma failed in her lane, defeated.
Although she didn’t lose out in the verbal exchanges and could still press a bit ahead, Yasuo shows through his actions that he’s just better at stealing minions.
Ji Ma can only run to the mid lane, finding the opposing Void Prodigy much tougher to deal with compared to the stone golem.
His main damage skill can spread infection and is locked on, completely unavoidable. What’s even more annoying is that his ultimate can freeze enemies in place, unable to move, which is also unavoidable.
Ji Ma finds it necessary to place her feet down from the computer desk, focusing more intently on the game.
Keeping her distance from the Void Prodigy.
But the Void Prodigy pushes the wave quickly, clearing the minions in one go. Ji Ma has to use her ultimate skill—mushrooms that act like land mines—by tossing them into the minion wave.
What’s even more annoying is that the Blind Monk makes frequent trips to the mid lane, showing up every minute without reason.
Now Ji Ma has no choice but to take her other leg off the desk, awkwardly adjusting her position.
Suddenly, the Void Prodigy flashes, trying to lock Ji Ma down. Ji Ma simultaneously presses Flash to create distance.
The Blind Monk, who gains nothing from the futile endeavor, steps out of the war fog before the minions, hearing Teemo (Ji Ma)’s laughter, typing:
“Cheat?”
Void Prodigy: “It’s a cheat.”
Void Prodigy: “I R-flashed.”
In League of Legends①, when using a skill on an enemy beyond the skill’s range, the hero automatically moves closer to the enemy, and if Flash is used to close the distance while within the skill range, the skill will be cast immediately, leaving no reaction time.
But Ji Ma’s conspiracy instinct sensed the small plot of the Blind Monk and Void Prodigy, allowing her to press Flash simultaneously.
Teemo: “If you can’t play, just say it’s a cheat.”
“Report me; feel free to report.”
“Scrubs, hehe.”
At this moment, news arrives from the top lane—it turns out the stone golem has slapped the wind-like Yasuo to death.
Yasuo: “20”
“Still cheating and so trash.”
The bot lane’s Caitlyn: “20”
Yasuo’s ally: “Don’t lose in my promotion matches, hold steady.”
Yasuo: “The jungler just wanders and feeds.”
Ji Ma initiates Plan B, controlling with one hand while typing.
Teemo: “A bunch of scrubs, can’t carry.”
“Even I, with Teemo I’ve never played, am better than you guys.”
Yasuo’s ally: “Aren’t you specialized?”
Teemo: “Yes, just tricking you all, you bunch of noobs.”
“20!”
“20!”
The painful energy from her teammates is somewhat delightful, albeit slightly.
The biggest source of pain comes from the Manatee player who is eager to promote; that makes sense, as the others are not that competitive.
A miscalculation; the painful energy is so little that I’ve even lost a bit.
Meanwhile, the mid-lane first turret explodes, taken down by the Rift Herald.
Ji Ma lets out a sigh, controlling Swift Scout to become invisible in the brush.
The opposing hero, armed with a black bow, strides confidently alongside the minion wave, passing by the brush and stepping on a mushroom, causing it to explode and slow him down.
Teemo (Ji Ma) emerges from the bush, spitting a blinding dart at his face.
The bow-wielding Varus is startled, and as Teemo (Ji Ma) unloads several shots at him, he hurriedly flashes away.
Teemo (Ji Ma) chases and finishes him off, hopping away while laughing:
“Hahaha, hehehe.”
Varus glances at his nearby second turret, wondering how Teemo made it all the way to the second turret.
Just as Ji Ma smiles at the painful energy she has collected…
“Knock knock knock.”
The door knocks.
“Ms. Fang, we received your emergency call.”
“Here they come!”
Ji Ma turns to see Fang Shiyun running like the wind toward the security door.
Oh no, the police have arrived.
————
①In some version, for example, the stone golem could still R-flash, allowing the hero to perform the flash R very quickly; that is no longer possible now.
