Kanata’s discussion about breasts was lively, but it didn’t end peacefully, as expected.
My discussion about breasts with Axel-san turned heated. We agreed that conical breasts were the supreme and ultimate, but we differed on their rivals. I argued for bell-shaped breasts, while Axel-san insisted on hemispherical, so we couldn’t reach an agreement.
“Hoo, there’s still room for more consideration regarding the rivals to the conical shape.”
“Ah, the world of breasts is deep. It holds infinite possibilities. Let’s move on to the next topic: nipples. The difference in color and size significantly changes breasts, which is an important factor— Ouch!”
A fist landed on Axel-san’s head. It was delivered with considerable force. The one who administered the punishment was a white woman with short hair, wearing her cap backward and sporting work coveralls. And she was busty. My Breast Scouter actually smoked and broke.
Impossible! My Breast Scouter, capable of measuring up to 100 cm, is broken! Does this woman have breasts exceeding meters? Even Fujiko-chan’s are only 99.9 cm! This woman with her astonishingly ample bosom had deeply chiseled features, easily placing her in the beautiful category. It’s true, there are many beautiful women here.
“Axel! Don’t drag newcomers into the world of eros!”
“Ow, ow, ow. I’m not dragging him in. He was already a resident of the world of eros!”
Seeing me staring intently at her breasts, the busty woman sighed.
“…It seems so. Honestly.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s like moths to a flame.”
“Then, shall I extinguish your life like a moth?”
The busty woman pulled a wrench from her belt and tapped it against her palm.
“Please spare me a two-rank promotion to the infirmary.”
Actually, a two-rank promotion isn’t a thing unless you die in battle.
“We’ve got a useless newcomer. I wonder what Marika-san was thinking. Well, it doesn’t matter since he’s not joining the Mechanic Team.”
“Are you Axel-san’s colleague?”
“No. Although Axel and I go way back, we’re from the same hometown. I’m Lieutenant Tatiana Kazinsky. I’m the leader of the Mechanic Team. These guys mostly handle vehicle operation, and we handle their maintenance. We help each other out when they’re short-handed. Though, it’s mostly us mechanics helping them out. They really abuse the vehicles.”
“Complain to the boss who gives the unreasonable orders.”
They seem close. Are they childhood friends?
“I don’t have my own vehicle yet, but I’ll be in your care once I do.”
Maintenance is too high a threshold for me, let alone driving. I’m from the humanities and sciences, after all.
“Well, that’s assuming you live long enough.”
“Thanks to Tatiana-san, Axel-san, and Gen-san, I was saved. I was prepared to be alone until the welcome party ended.”
Gen-san, who first spoke to me, is fast asleep, face down on the table. Grandpa seems to retire early.
Tatiana-san said, twirling a wrench in one hand.
“Kanata, was it? I’ll call you that.”
“Yes, Kanata is fine.”
“I’ve been watching from a distance. If you want to fit in, don’t wait for someone to make a move; take the initiative yourself. If Gen-san hadn’t been thoughtful, you really would have been alone.”
I see, that’s right. It’s hard to fix ingrained habits of being a loner.
“Yes, you’re right. I’ve been alone for so long that I can’t quite gauge that sort of distance.”
“Don’t worry. There are many seekers in this base aiming to master the deepest secrets of breasts. If you’re stuck for conversation, start with breast-related topics…”
This time, Tatiana-san hit Axel-san with the wrench again, with no mercy. I think sparks flew. And then Axel-san joined Gen-san in his slumber. I hope it’s not eternal rest. Whoa, he has a manga-like bump on his head!
Despite the loud thud, Gen-san remained asleep, still holding his glass. I looked at his hand and was startled. Is that webbing between his fingers? Webbing, huh?
“Ah, Gen-san’s hands. It’s webbing. We’ve modified him that way.”
“Can Bio-Metal do that?”
“It’s not just that. Don’t you notice how thick the body hair on his forearms is? You can’t see it, but his leg hair is the same. He can grow that out to form fins. Gen-san is an expert in underwater combat. He can fight for 30 minutes without breathing.”
With a name like Gen-san, meaning dragonfly, it’s no wonder underwater is his domain.
“It’s a good example of a name reflecting its owner.”
“Apparently, only Marika-san from Unit No. 1 can defeat Gen-san in underwater combat. I’m not a combatant, so I don’t know the specifics.”
“To be able to fight and win on an expert’s home turf. The Hundred Unit is incredible.”
“Did you enjoy the chitchat? It’s time for practical education.”
The burly white man who first approached me stood there.
“Vodka, stop it.”
“Maintenance crew, step aside. this is a matter for us combatants.”
Vodka, huh. I assume it’s a nickname. Like Axel-san, there are many Russian-looking people here. However, these Russians are not friendly. He’s clearly eager.
The Unit No. 1 members efficiently moved tables to create a space in the center. Vodka gestured with his chin toward the space and walked to the center of the impromptu ring. Don’t order me around with your chin. Only Marika-san can order me around with her chin!
The unit members cheered him on. It seems I can’t escape. I’m going to have an exhibition match in the special ring set up in the cafeteria.
“Shorty, I’ll let you enjoy the liquid diet of the infirmary for a while.”
To him, who is probably over 2 meters tall, someone like me, at just over 170 cm, might seem short. As a man of letters, I don’t want to lose a verbal argument.
“I envy your large size. I guess all that nutrition going to your body means less for your brain. I should have done the same.”
A vein popped on his forehead. Yup, the reaction of a brute.
“Marika-san, won’t you allow me to teach this shorty a painful lesson? You told me to do it later, but you didn’t say not to do it?”
Marika-san, while drinking a bottle of strong liquor, replied,
“Fine, do as you please. It could be entertaining as a sideshow.”
“It won’t take long enough to entertain me.”
I have no grounds for this, but he’s incredibly confident.
“However, do not use your Nenshin Strength.”
“I’m not so degraded as to use Nenshin Strength on a raw recruit like you.”
“You don’t understand, Vodka. I’m telling you this for your own good.”
“Huh?”
“Kanata’s Nenshin Strength is 1 million n. Got it? Even with your limited brainpower.”
Murmurs rippled through the crowd. The unit members looked like the black suits from Kaiji. Apparently, 1 million n is a considerable figure. I should press my psychological advantage.
“You can stop if you want. I don’t want to waste unnecessary calories.”
“You think I’ll back down because of that?! Don’t underestimate Unit No. 1!”
Well, I didn’t expect him to back down. Thank you, Marika-san. I’m not yet adept at coating my limbs with barriers. She’s set up a stage where I can actually compete.
“Alright, then it’s agreed: no Nenshin Strength.”
“Agreed. Are you ready, shorty?”
“Whenever you are.”
Vodka clenched his fists and charged. As expected of an elite unit member, he’s quite skilled. He’s a bull fighter, just as he looks. His physique is a head taller than mine. Naturally, his reach is longer. Two left jabs, then a downward right. I evaded with a sway and a duck. I wish I could fight opponents with a size difference using weapons. In close combat, physique and weight play a significant role. But there’s no use crying over spilled milk. The battlefield is always a free-for-all free-for-all. Evading Vodka’s attacks isn’t difficult. There’s a world of difference compared to Marika-san; even Unit 10 and Unit 13 were far faster than him. Ducking under the downward strike, I landed a hook to the liver. It hit, but Vodka smirked. He’s not going all out yet. He was just testing my hardness and weight. Evading Vodka’s hooking punches with a backstep, I created distance. Vodka appears to be a heavy-weight Bio-Metal type; he’s inferior in speed but excels in power. Most large men would be heavy-weights, but I should confirm.
Alright, the plan is set. Let’s go! While dodging Vodka’s punches, I lightly tap him. First, I’ll make him misjudge my power, then I’ll enrage him. For that, words will also be used.
“Shouldn’t you be on the shelves of an appliance store rather than in the army? As a large oscillating fan?”
“Shut up! Are your punches only enough to sting a mosquito?!”
“You’re less than a mosquito.”
I lightly slapped Vodka’s forehead with an open palm and retreated.
“A beautiful autumn foliage has bloomed. Please give them a round of applause!”
As I clapped my hands, the Unit No. 1 members burst into laughter. “Get it together, you’re being toyed with by a newcomer!” shouts were heard. Yes, I can see more veins appearing on his forehead. He should be coming soon. Vodka charged again, swinging both arms. And there it is! A kick! I expected him to hold back his kicks. War isn’t a sport; anything goes. I didn’t expect a member of an elite unit to be limited to boxing-style fighting. I wanted him to throw a kick while losing his composure! Everyone has two legs; when you kick, you only have one supporting. Dodging somehow, I landed a full-force low kick to his supporting leg! He fell over. I stomped on his fallen face, aiming for his nose. A bloody nose further derails composure. It’s infuriating, you know. A bloody nose is the worst.
I tried to continue stomping, but I got carried away. My right ankle was grabbed. Vodka then stood up and slammed me to the ground. Being slammed onto the ground, I couldn’t breathe for a moment. Before he could slam me again, I kicked Vodka’s face with my left leg and managed to escape. That was too close.
Now, how do I defeat this guy? I always find myself in a predicament like this.
My favorite part of Jojo is Golden Wind.
