He brought up Captain Tozen of the 4th Unit, and as they say, speak of the devil. Tozen himself seemed to have come to Snake Eyes.
It was fine that the bar “Snake Eyes” was participating in the drinking party of the 4th Unit’s company captains, but when they started badmouthing their superior, Tozen-san, he appeared.
“Speak of the devil” really is fitting. But the company captains showed no signs of awkwardness, not even a change in their complexion. Was I the only one turning pale?
“Oh, isn’t that the boss? We were just talking about how he’s a hopeless human from birth.”
Sanpin-san, please don’t drop such a bombshell as a greeting. It’s bad for my heart!
Uroko-san, with a casual gesture, pulled out an empty chair. “Since you’re here, sit down, Tozen. You want the usual snacks?”
“Yeah, and cold sake.”
“Master, Tozen’s usual, and make the sake cold.”
The somber master in the bow tie behind the bar counter silently acknowledged Uroko-san’s order.
“Um, aren’t you angry, Tozen-san?”
“Huh? Why should I be angry?”
“Wouldn’t anyone normally get angry if they were called a hopeless human from birth?”
I know Tozen-san isn’t a normal human, though.
“It’s the truth. I’m a man who’s hopeless from birth. It’s a strange way to put it, but if you’re hopeless from birth, you’re hopeless, right? These guys who switched from the right track to a shitty track are far worse. Don’t you think so, kid?”
“If I say they’re bad, I’ll die, so I have no comment.”
“I dare you to say you could take them down. What a useless brat.”
There’s no way I could win against four of the 4th Unit’s company captains. Don’t say such unreasonable things.
Tozen-san’s order arrived. That was fast. Was it a speed menu? Laid out on the table were dried squid, cheese tarts, canned grilled saury, and cup sake.
Huh? Is this a joke?
“I can understand the dried fish and cheese tarts, but shouldn’t the canned food be oil sardines instead of saury? And cup sake! Couldn’t you at least get sake in a masuraku cup?”
This is just a cheap home drinking menu. There’s no need to come to a bar!
Viper-san, picking up the can, and Python-san, opening the cup sake, replied.
“The boss likes this stuff.”
“He says fancy, elaborate things don’t suit his taste.”
Sigh, if it’s his taste, there’s nothing I can do. I remember him chewing dried squid like a cigarette during the operation. He really likes it.
“I’m from the slums, so it’s understandable that my palate is impoverished. But that’s not always the case; some, like Uroko, have good taste.”
“Are you two from the same town?”
“Let’s just say, Tozen and I are from the slums, but not the same town. In this day and age, there aren’t any megalopolises without slums. Tozen was a drifter who came to the area I controlled. He was strong, so I hired him like a bodyguard. As you can see, he’s cheap to feed and drink, so it works out.”
Controlling the area, huh? So it was the relationship of a yakuza boss lady and her bodyguard instructor. That makes sense.
“Then, Uroko-san’s subordinates…”
“Ah, these are the guys who came with us when Tozen and I were scouted by Iska. They’re quite eccentric.”
Scouting from the underworld? The Commander is really unreasonable. Too powerful.
“Weren’t there any problems with past convictions?”
“Tozen and I are clean. We haven’t been clumsy enough to get convicted. Some of my subordinates might have a record, but…”
“You don’t need to say it!”
The Commander must have covered it up. It’s better not to ask.
Tozen-san, skillfully opening the cheese tart bag with one hand, said, “It’s not that surprising. There are even people scouted from prison for the Legion.”
“What? From prison?”
“He’s the captain of the 4th Unit’s Hellhorns in the Legion, ‘Mad Dog’ Mardock. He seemed to be a prisoner serving a sentence of, like, 400 years.”
Not only the 4th Unit of the Asura Unit, but the Legion’s 4th Unit is also unlucky! 400 years in prison? That’s Devil Reversals, isn’t it? No, Devil Reversals is 200 years; his sentence is twice as long. What could he have done to get a 400-year sentence?
“And he’s 240 cm tall. I’m surprised there’s someone 40 cm taller than me, Elder Brother.”
“Yeah, and his Nenshin Strength is 6 million n. It’s the same strength as your little girlfriend, boy.”
“240 cm tall with 6 million n Nenshin Strength?! Is this Mad Dog, Mardock, really human? And by the way, Lilith is not my girlfriend!”
What kind of monster is that! Calm down. Devil Reversals is 20 meters tall. 240 cm is cute in comparison. It’s only about 1/8th. Not a big deal. Not a big deal… What do you mean, not a big deal?! It’s a very big deal! …No way…
“The ‘Mad Dog’… he couldn’t possibly be a Hundred, could he?”
Tozen-san, still holding the dried squid in his mouth like a cigarette, replied.
“Hey, kid, you’re kidding, right?”
“Right? And on top of that, if he were a Hundred, it would be too much. There would be no joking about it.”
“Or were you thinking it’s naive to believe that someone with all those conditions wouldn’t be a Hundred?”
“So it’s true! I’m running! If I meet the Mad Dog, I’m running! Absolutely!”
“No one is telling you to fight the Mad Dog. Don’t yell out your cowardly resolution so loudly. It’s pathetic. Do you even have balls?”
I’m a virgin, but I do have balls. Unlike you, Tozen-san, I don’t have hairs growing on my heart.
Uroko-san comforted me, the scaredy-cat.
“Don’t worry. When the 1st Unit engages the Hellhorns, Marika will handle the Mad Dog. But be careful. The Mad Dog’s subordinates are also tricky. Especially ‘Crazy Bitch’ Dora.”
“Crazy Bitch? Is there really someone like that?”
“Yeah, Dora, the Crazy Bitch. She’s the Mad Dog’s mistress and a former SM performer.”
“Alhambra, who came from a circus magician background, seems quite normal. A former criminal and a former SM performer? Is the Legion a group of eccentric soldiers?”
“Not a former criminal, she’s an active one. The Legion’s 4th Unit is basically composed of prisoners. They just serve under the condition of reduced sentences. We’re similar in that regard.”
“How do they obey orders?”
“The Legion isn’t stupid. They have bombs implanted in the heads of the Mad Dogs.”
“So if they go against orders or try to escape, they explode? I see.”
It’s a sobering thought. I have no intention of running, but who knows what would happen to me if I did.
“There’s also ‘Genius’ Yuerun, ‘Feral Beast’ Kottus, and ‘Hook Nose’ Hammond. The Mad Dog’s subordinates are all dangerous individuals. It’s best to assume that not just the Hellhorns, but all of the Legion’s captains and company captains are dangerous.”
“We in the Asura Unit are the same.”
“That’s right. We’re the strongest units of the Alliance Army and the Mechanist Army. The captains are bound to be strong.”
Speaking of captains, it’s been a while since all the Asura Unit’s captains gathered in Garden. About half a year? It’s not like we’re all here to celebrate the Commander’s birthday, is it?
“Everyone? Has the captain of the 3rd Unit also returned to Garden?”
“Yeah, he and Elder Brother just met Bakura-san.”
“Because Commander knew that Ikkaku-san and Bakura were returning soon, he decided to commit all available forces to Operation SNC to ensure victory.”
“So that’s why. The captain of the 3rd Unit is Captain Kidouin Bakura, also known as ‘Lion-Haired Bakura,’ right? Does he really have lion-like hair?”
“He has hair that truly looks like a lion’s, so you’ll recognize him when you see him, boy. Well, the reason for the ‘Lion-Haired’ moniker isn’t just his appearance.”
“Oh, Marika-san told me that you and Shigure-san have known each other for a long time. She said Shigure-san was the one who recommended Bakura-san to the Asura Unit.”
“They should have known each other since they were kids. Shigure’s father, Mibu Kansai, and Bakura’s master, Kidouin Souen, were friends.”
Tozen, with a displeased expression, grumbled to Uroko.
“Don’t talk about Mibu’s father! It spoils the taste of the sake!”
Tozen seems to have some history with Shigure-san’s father.
“Alright, alright, I get it. Bakura is a master of the Kidouin-ryu Gou-Soujutsu, a spear art. Since there are many enemies who use spears on the battlefield, you might want to learn spear techniques from Bakura while he’s in Garden.”
Kidouin-ryu Gou-Soujutsu, huh? In my old world, it would be like Sohei’s Hozoin school, right? Souhei sounds like a monk’s name.
“Since he knows Shigure-san, I’ll ask him to teach me.”
“Bakura has a rough and friendly personality, so I don’t think there will be any problem asking him normally. Bakura, Todd, and Curtis, who have similar mentalities, are known as the Garden’s Big Three Idiots.”
“Is that so? Ah, it’s already this late!”
“I’m not letting you go, boy. You’re with me until morning.”
“I’m not running away. I’m just going to contact Lilith on her Handycom.”
“I think you only do that for your wife or girlfriend? Are you a lolicon, man?”
“Nooooo! I have to contact her, or things will get scary later! She’s persistent and jealous!”
I took out my Handycom and left a message for Lilith using the call app.
“You only contact people about being late if it’s your wife or girlfriend. Hmm? Kid, you’ve got a nice strap there.”
Wow, even Tozen-san is interested in straps. Unexpected.
“It’s from a game center prize. It’s rare, right? A saber-toothed tiger strap. I like it quite a bit.”
“It seems out of place for a cowardly kid who declared he’d run if he met the Mad Dog.”
“Do you like saber-toothed tigers, Tozen-san?”
“Hmm, maybe. Kid, do you know why saber-toothed tigers went extinct?”
“Yes, the theory that their long, sharp fangs were their downfall is widely accepted. How ironic. The very fangs that made them saber-toothed tigers led to their extinction. They must have died unwillingly.”
“I don’t think so. Wouldn’t they have preferred to perish with their fangs rather than survive without them? That’s what it means to be a saber-toothed tiger.”
This is the second installment of the Tozen’s Sayings. Perish with your fangs rather than live without them, huh? Combined with the first saying, “Since you were born, you must die sooner or later,” it’s heading in a refreshing, destructive direction. The catharsis of destruction; the stylish atmosphere this person exudes might be like fireworks. Doomed to bloom spectacularly in the night sky and disappear into darkness.
“Since you seem to like saber-toothed tigers, I’ll give you this strap. In return, please teach me next time.”
“That’s impossible. I don’t do training. To me, training and practice are just misplaced.”
“Misplaced?”
“Yeah, they’re misplaced. What’s the point of mock sword fights with blunted blades, or shooting clay pigeons with a gun? If you want to get better at killing people, you have to kill people.”
“You’ve never trained at all, Tozen-san! Only real combat!”
Tozen-san’s expression turned displeased at my question.
“I was forced to train at a dojo for a year for regrettable reasons, but everything else has been real combat.”
“But with that method, don’t people die before they get strong? I believe training is important. In fact, wasn’t that regrettable training you received beneficial?”
“It wasn’t, no! It was just a shitty year! People die before getting strong if they don’t train? Such guys will die eventually anyway. They were just too weak to begin with.”
Hmm, I wonder if there’s any way to get Tozen-san to train me. It would be beneficial for me to get stronger, and I have other ulterior motives.
Alright, though I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll put my brain’s natto bacteria to work.
Dora, the Crazy Bitch was initially written as “Crazy Bitch Dora” before writing. I thought it was too much, so I changed it to “Crazy Woman” (lol).
