Chapter 396: 13. Eternal Loneliness (5k)
“Renee.”
“Um, what’s wrong? If we go a bit farther, I can take us away from here. We’re still quite close to the port, and the place we need to go is quite far, so there will probably be quite a bit of commotion later.”
Hearing Fisher’s call, Renee, who was at the bow of the ship, tapped her cheek with her fingers while resting her chin on her hand, thinking he was asking her to take them away, so she replied like that.
But Fisher shook his head. After a moment of contemplation with his dark eyes, he stood up and sat cross-legged in front of Renee, saying to her,
“I’m not talking about leaving; I have something else to discuss with you. In fact, Alagina is not just a friend I want to visit; I see her as a romantic interest. When I left the Southern Ocean on her warship, I had a physical encounter with her. This afternoon, Old Jack did not inquire about our whereabouts; that was just my way of speaking, to prevent Alagina from catching on.”
“And, I’ve had several other significant relationships with women: Raphael from the Dragon Race in the Southern Continent, Jasmine from the Whale Folk, Eil from the Demon Race, Valentina from the Phoenix Race, Elizabeth whom you have met, and Alagina who we encountered today. My relationships with them cannot simply be described as ‘friends.'”
At this moment, in front of Renee, Fisher confessed all his past mistakes.
Meanwhile, Emhart, who was sitting behind him and pretending to read but was actually eavesdropping, was startled when he heard Fisher recite the names from his recorded “ex-girlfriend list.” He immediately stopped reading, lay down as if dead, and turned invisible.
In fact, when Renee intercepted Alagina’s messenger, Fisher already understood that Renee was well aware of his relationship with Alagina; otherwise, she wouldn’t have been prepared with sweets as gifts for Kalma and the others. However, Fisher held onto a hope at that time, which indirectly led to the later confrontation between Renee and Alagina.
So upon reflection, if Renee knew about Alagina, she would have no reason not to know about the other women. Earlier in the Pirate’s Bay, Fisher didn’t outright admit everything but used evasive language primarily because of Alagina. Now that it was just him and Renee, there was no longer any need for him to avoid the topic.
He chose this time not to hide anymore and laid everything bare before Renee.
Upon hearing this, Renee cradled her chin in her hands, a hint of something unclear flashing in her wine-like purple eyes. She made no other movement and simply said,
“I already know everything.”
“When did this start?”
“Since we met. Every time we separated. But I didn’t go anywhere else; sometimes I would return to my point of stay in the material realm to grab something. Most of the time, I went straight back to the Spirit Realm, where I have duties to fulfill. I need to monitor the Spirit Realm pollution you encountered before, so I have to leave from time to time. When I have downtime in the Spirit Realm, I watch over you, just like the distant stars watch over this beautiful world. So I know a lot about you.”
“…”
Though he had long been prepared, hearing Renee admit it still left Fisher momentarily shocked, unsure how to respond. Seeing his expression, Renee’s gaze became vacant, and she continued,
“Don’t be so nervous. If I wanted to blame you or be angry, it would have erupted long ago. ‘All this can be attributed to the side effects of those manuals you possess,’ I explain to myself like this.”
Fisher raised his eyes to meet Renee’s vacant gaze, hesitated for a moment and then said,
“But actually, the completion manual I possess is not the real reason. The real reason is my greed; that is my fault.”
Renee, supporting her chin, crossed her long legs beneath her black dress. The high heels that had confined her feet in black stockings had mysteriously disappeared, revealing her perfectly shaped feet and full toes slightly obscured by shadows. Her fingers rhythmically tapped on her cheek as she smiled and said,
“I was trying to convince myself, but after you said that, I might have to blame you.”
Fisher sat upright, quietly watching her, a generous expression of submission on his face, causing Renee to chuckle and lightly kick his chest, her strength as always gentle, leaving just a little wrinkle on his shirt.
But beyond that, Renee showed no further indication. Fisher looked to follow her gaze but found her quietly staring at the distant bright moon. After a moment of silence, she softly spoke,
“Fisher, I have suffered from loneliness for a long time. I made a vow to the gods that I would not disclose a single detail to outsiders, thus I have my bindings and responsibilities. The first time I met you, perhaps I was drawn by your completion manual, or maybe to alleviate that eternal loneliness, I fabricated many lies just to stay by your side. I don’t know why, but when I’m by your side, I often have many little tempers, yet you’ve tolerated all of that and allowed me to stay beside you, and I have felt unprecedented joy and happiness.”
The cold moonlight enveloped Renee’s figure, making her shadow hazy. She turned her head with a smile, and Fisher’s reflection was still clear in her purple eyes.
“I have lived for a long time and view many things with indifference. The binds and thoughts that people argue about in this world are merely fleeting moments for me; I deeply understand the suffering of solitude, and I know it’s impossible to bind you because of our sporadic gatherings. Therefore, I have always tacitly accepted your encounters with other women.”
“I thought as long as there was mutual affection, enough tolerance, and an unspoken understanding between us, that would be enough. But I overlooked one thing I naively thought I would never possess—jealousy.”
Renee’s smile gradually faded. Her hands fell onto the wooden deck of the ship, allowing the night wind to stir her black hair, causing the bright reflections in the water to waver.
“When I see the sincere feelings you give to them, I often can’t help but feel jealousy, constantly comparing my interactions with you to your interactions with them. If there’s anything lacking, my heart inevitably fills with anger that can’t be rationally controlled, just like today.”
“Alagina helped you when you were isolated and helpless. I know the bond between you and her. I had already decided to return to the ship alone today, pretending to know nothing to let you reunite with her. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have deliberately brought you to the Pirate’s Bay. Don’t you find it curious why it’s such a coincidence that our landing day is also the day she returns? You even had time to send a letter to Nali?”
“I clearly arranged everything rationally because our long separation made me feel indebted to you, so I wanted to do this, even if you didn’t know it was my plan. But somehow, after landing, seeing your anticipation and fear of meeting Alagina, I felt that inevitable jealousy rising again.”
Although her words remained calm, Renee’s eyes began to appear pink under the cold moonlight. She seemed to harbor confusion and regret. Yet at this moment, she still looked at Fisher.
“Various emotional thoughts transcending my expectations ignited with jealousy. Clearly, she had her own intentions when she saved you; clearly, she depended on my help and arrangements to meet you; clearly, this time belonged to you and me. With such thoughts, I found myself unwilling to leave, blaming both her and you. Doesn’t that sound strange and funny?”
“However, just as I thought before, no matter how jealous I get, the fact remains that I haven’t always been by your side, and I certainly don’t have the right to assume I would do better if I were there. That’s my fault. Next time, if I make a decision, I will stick to it and not do any nonsense; I promise, how about it?”
Beneath the moonlight, Renee smiled and extended her pinky finger toward Fisher.
As long as he reached out his hand and made a promise under Renee’s will, this conflict would be lightly brushed aside, and next time she would also consciously step back, avoiding exposing him to risks.
But Fisher found himself unable to reach out his finger to hook her pinky.
He lowered his head, refraining from extending his finger. Instead, he reached out his right hand and gently held her hand, carefully wrapping her pinky within his grasp. Renee, caught by his hand, blinked in surprise, momentarily unsure of what to say.
Until the night wind blew, stirring her warmth, she felt that scent he had been pursuing for a long time, now within reach, confirming its reality. Fisher took a deep breath and suddenly said,
“You don’t owe me anything, Renee.”
“You haven’t always been by my side, not providing me with help, but conversely, I haven’t always been by your side either, offering you help. On the contrary, I’ve never made you any promises, and I haven’t established a proper relationship with you; the things I’ve given you pale in comparison to what you’ve given me. You had to coax me for a long time to see a play, and I often complained about you without saying anything sincerely sweet.”
“The reason for this is that I once thought you would never leave, that you would always stay by my side. It wasn’t until you suddenly disappeared that I felt fear—fear that something might happen to you, fear that you would blame me for my doubts, fear that you would never come back. Now that you’re safely back, I should remedy the regrets I had for you. I want to express my fondness for you, yet for some reason, I find it difficult to speak easily in front of you.”
“I want to kiss you, want you to stay by my side, want you to be happy and safe. But I didn’t expect that my greed would make you feel wronged. That’s already my fault. So, Renee, don’t make such a promise to me; it’s not something you should do. I should be the one doing that, really.”
Fisher lowered his head. He was not an inexperienced, shy young man; he had always been greedy in matters of affection and had never held back. Yet, in front of this lady, he found himself wanting to restrain that greed.
For this, he was willing to respect her purity, cherish her shyness, and forgive her concealment and deception.
Perhaps even Fisher himself did not know why this nearly infinite affection only bloomed for the lady before him, who shared such profound mutual understanding with him. Why did he, who once treated affection so decisively, hesitate now?
Perhaps he already had the answer but was unwilling to speak it out loud. Only now, after a long separation, did he want to express it to her.
But the courage for his outpouring still was not enough. Fisher tightened his grip on Renee’s hand and, after a long time of deliberation, barely managed to say a simple line he had never spoken to anyone else:
“I really like you, Renee.”
Renee’s pupils widened a bit as she felt as if she finally saw a crack leading to his heart in the reserved gentleman before her. The warmth bursting forth overpowered his instinctual desires, delivering the most sincere feelings of the moment to her.
Renee opened her mouth slightly, a color of pink, vastly different from the cold moonlight, began to spread along her neck and adorned her beauty. She averted her gaze slightly but repeatedly looked back at Fisher in her peripheral vision. She did not pull her hand away from his; instead, she held it a little tighter.
“Don’t use that sort of talk to placate my anger. I’m not mad anyway; it’s fine if you say so.”
As Renee continued to speak, she found it hard to articulate her thoughts because at this moment, Fisher was quietly looking at her, and she realized that what she had just said was merely an excuse to hide her shyness.
“Okay, I got it. You used words you’ve never said to anyone to lure me in, but… I’m really happy. However, if that’s the case, don’t expect me to restrain my jealousy afterward. Especially… especially when I’m beside you, don’t think about trying to please both sides. Otherwise, you know, those women wouldn’t be able to match up to me, so you’d better keep them away.”
Fisher smiled slightly and released her hand. Watching Renee before him, he promised,
“Okay, I promise you, Renee.”
Maybe to Fisher, Renee really is special enough that he would unconditionally promise her a different, eternal favoritism. But regardless, he did not want to lose her again.
With a flushed face, Renee looked at Fisher, rubbing the hand he had just held. Turning her gaze to the distant sea, she said,
“All right, all right, hurry up and row the boat. We need to set off quickly. Don’t forget you’re being pursued by death.”
Fisher nodded, regaining focus to grasp the oars and guide the small boat toward the open sea.
“Okay. By the way, Renee, you seem to have yet to tell me how to escape from the pursuit of death. Where is our destination?”
“Uh-huh.”
Renee tapped her still-pink cheek, turned to look at the profound moonlight, and then pointed northward, saying,
“The Eastern Ocean is a vast sea area that spans across the northern and southern hemispheres. Long ago, near the southernmost point of the Eastern Ocean, there was a towering tree known as the ‘World Tree.’ At the foot of that great tree is the long-lost Eastern Continent. And along the central axis of the Eastern Continent, thousands of miles to the north, there is a sky fortress known as the ‘Holy Realm.’ That is our destination.”
Upon hearing that familiar term, Emhart, who was huddled behind and pretending to be dead, immediately flew up, extremely excited as he approached Renee, incredulously saying,
“Wait, wait, wait. Are you talking about the Holy Realm? The Holy Realm where the Holy Spawn reside? Is it still here? My goodness, I vaguely remember its scenery, but I don’t remember how I ended up leaving it and drifting into this world. Um, Miss Renee, what exactly happened to the Holy Realm? Can you tell me? I really want to go back and see it, please.”
Meanwhile, Fisher silently picked up the oars and continued to steer the small boat into the distant sea.
Looking at the extremely excited Emhart, Renee cradled her chin and said to him,
“I was just about to say that. The Holy Realm was destroyed in the subsequent Mythical Wars; it fell from the high heavens to the sea, and the Heavenly Lock along with its angels did not survive. Even to this day, it has not revealed its true appearance to living beings.”
As Renee spoke, she reached her hand into the sea. With a gentle motion, they quickly entered the crevice just as they had come. A light boat swiftly passed through the strange sights in the crevice, surrounded by the projections of the Spirit Realm, where countless eyes arranged irregularly like stars blinked, seemingly watching them.
Soon, they left the crevice of the Spirit Realm and magically appeared in the center of a strange sea area.
Surrounding them was nothingness, yet Fisher felt a familiar sensation. He recalled the Parasol Tree in the Northern Region, where strange spatial turbulence had occurred due to the roots of the World Tree. Here, too, he sensed the presence of spatial turbulence.
“Is this the Storm Sea?”
Fisher recalled what Alagina had said to him this morning—that they had been blocked by spatial turbulence while searching for the Storm Sea.
Looking at the spatial turbulence before them, Renee’s expression grew serious.
“Yes, when the Holy Realm fell, countless relics from above plummeted down. Many relics simultaneously activated their effects, making the current Holy Realm extremely dangerous. The most significant effect comes from the experimental products created by the angels imitating the properties of the World Tree’s roots. This has enveloped the fallen Holy Realm, forming the spatial turbulence we see now.”
“The spatial turbulence created by these spatial relics is unpredictable. Fortunately, some lucky humans can enter through the gaps in the turbulence and see the full appearance of the Holy Realm. Thus, it has been given a new name: the ‘Storm Sea.'”
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(End of Chapter)
