Chapter 600: 78. The Origin of Eil
On the second floor of Hela’s residence, at the end of the library filled with bookshelves, Fisher leaned against a soft leather chair that Hela might have once sat in. His back rested against the cushion behind him, his head tilted slightly back as he gazed at the somewhat dark ceiling that had not been illuminated by the light from the first floor.
On the table that Hela once used to read, now barren except for a continuously burning candle, the Soul Supplement Handbook lay open, having fallen to its final section, thick in the front and thin in the back, which indicated he was nearly finished reading everything Jahl Uzz had left behind.
However, at this moment, the words on the pages seemed to sprout legs and escape his gaze, or perhaps he wasn’t reading at all but merely looking at the pages while thinking of other matters.
Yes, he was contemplating his relationship with Hela.
Maybe he was aware of it himself; he indeed had feelings for Hela, but knowing so little about her, unlike with other ladies he was familiar with, brought forth doubt and unease.
Even with Renee, the reincarnation of the Mother and bearer of infinite authority, Fisher understood her situation and personality, having spent much time together and shared heartfelt conversations.
Yet it was only Hela, who seemed to have experienced so much, that Fisher could not fully grasp; it felt as if she were very close to him yet forever out of reach.
He didn’t know why she was fond of him, but what he saw upon arriving here was all her seemingly genuine longing.
This contradiction made Fisher struggle, ultimately erupting due to the deceit he had discovered earlier.
“Tap tap tap.”
It was at that moment that footsteps echoed from the stairs leading up to this place, a sudden noise in the silence that made Fisher quickly open his eyes and look towards the end of the library. The black mud of his soul extending from his hand gradually retracted into his body.
He looked at the stairs and soon saw Eil coming up from below. She quickly scanned the bookshelves hidden in the darkness before fixing her gaze on Fisher, who sat beneath the portrait of “Baemon.”
She pursed her lips, seeming to want to say something immediately, but it turned into a yawn instead. After her “awoo,” she neither commented on the decor of Hela’s second floor nor mentioned the name “Baemon,” but simply asked Fisher,
“What are you doing here? It’s pitch black.”
Fisher blinked, rubbed his temples, hastily closed the Soul Supplement Handbook, sat up, and said to Eil,
“Just thinking about some things.”
In the dark, Eil’s bright eyes, like fiery snakes, slightly twisted in their sockets. Only then did she glance at the portrait of Hela behind him and asked,
“Thinking about Baemon?”
“Not at all.”
Fisher instinctively replied like a typical scoundrel, never mentioning other women in front of another woman, but he soon realized this was a lie, and his expression changed somewhat.
He had indeed been thinking about Hela.
Eil crossed her arms, merely watching Fisher in silence, while Fisher, glancing up and noticing her gaze, understood she had seen through his words. He could only smile wryly and admit,
“I am indeed considering her.”
“What else is there to consider? The things she left downstairs should be very much to your taste, right? Although I do have some bias against her due to her demonic nature, even I have to admit that what she did could very well be from the heart.”
Eil stepped closer, her bare feet lightly stepped on the carpet of Hela’s second floor, making no sound like a cat. She approached the desk where Fisher sat, “But it seems you still remain confused and conflicted.”
“I don’t know, but it shouldn’t be considered confusion and conflict.”
“Not knowing means confusion and conflict, Fisher.”
Fisher opened his mouth, then stopped rebutting, leaning back against the soft chair again. After a moment of silence, he confessed to Eil,
“I’m just a bit puzzled.”
“What are you puzzled about?”
Eil ungraciously leaped onto Hela’s desk, which was almost empty save for a candle.
With the flickering candlelight, Fisher easily noticed the brighter fireball on her tail, swaying in the dark, likely caused by her tail’s antics.
And Fisher was still honest with Eil. He pondered for a moment and then said,
“Both you and Emhart previously mentioned that Hela paid attention to me because she had a special purpose, that is why she placed that mark on me. Although I verbally denied you before, deep down, I couldn’t find a proper reason to explain her special attention and feelings for me, as if those feelings came from nowhere yet somehow depended on something I didn’t understand.
“And the same goes for you. When I first met you, it hadn’t been long, and even my rank was merely slightly higher than an ordinary human. I genuinely cannot think of a reason why you, a demon ranked at eighteen, would choose to give me your first time.
“I have witnessed the immense power of mythical beings and know that crossing the rivers of time, you can achieve what ordinary people can hardly imagine. That’s why I doubted everything I experienced, everything I considered as feelings, might all be fabricated and disguised, leading to my sense of unease.”
Eil listened quietly, then smiled as she said,
“I am a bit surprised, firstly that you still consider yourself a human, and secondly that I had always thought someone like you only cares about possessing without considering why.”
At the same time, her long tail brushed lightly across Fisher’s chest with her laughter. Fisher didn’t reach out to pull it but simply followed the fireball’s dim sway in the dark and thought, “I didn’t expect you to always have your little schemes hidden within yourself despite the earlier indifference. Is this what male bravado is?”
The little doubt that had barely bubbled to the surface was caught by Eil, but since it had already been spoken, there was no chance to take it back. He could only smile helplessly and continue to ask,
“Is there anything wrong with me believing I am human?”
“No, nothing wrong; in fact, it’s a good thing.”
Eil retracted her tail and said, “For those who are about to exceed their ranks, especially humans like you who twist rules relying on the supplement handbook, it’s easy for them to forget their初心. Once they forget where they came from, the path ahead will become extremely bewildering. Thus, those who possess the handbook are unquestionable madmen and calamities; since the time I was born, I have seen and killed too many.”
Fisher swallowed a bit of saliva, suddenly recalling the first time he met Eil in Old Jack’s tavern; that bone-chilling tremor was not an illusion but Eil’s genuine killing intent.
“As for your other question, what Baemon thinks or why she treats you like this, I don’t know, because in essence, she is not a demon. Although I regard her action of placing the mark on you as a kind of kin rivalry, that is merely part of the long dynasty culture; whether or not she, as an angel, is influenced by our culture is yet to be determined. However, Fisher, I can tell you why I chose to give you my first time.”
Fisher slightly stunned, raised his head to meet Eil, who sat on the desk slightly higher than him, her laziness slowly fading away, leaving only her once valiant visage staring seriously at him, seemingly waiting for his answer.
Though he had spent little time with Eil, her lazy, cat-like demeanor left a deep impression on Fisher, so when her expression was particularly serious, he felt somewhat unaccustomed, even unconsciously adjusting his posture and asking,
“Didn’t you refuse to say when I asked you before?”
Eil smacked her cheek lightly and pouted,
“If you ask Baemon the same question directly, she will definitely tell you the reason, but as for its truth… haha, no one can guarantee that. I indeed didn’t want to tell you directly before because I had my own considerations that I did not wish to share with you, nor did I want to deceive you. But now I have thought it over, and I will tell you everything.”
“Was there something I did during this time that changed your mind?”
“No, it’s just that according to my original plan, I thought not telling you was better than telling you.”
“I thought it was because of Hela.”
“…” Eil blinked, then added, “Well, it’s partly her fault; it really was quite unpleasant to feel her pressing down on me.”
“…”
After that, Eil didn’t yawn again, but thought for a long time, hesitating before throwing out a question that led her to explain her answer. She asked Fisher,
“Fisher, do you know why I love to sleep so much?”
“Because it’s in your nature?”
Like an insatiable kitten.
Eil shook her head and her tail, denying it,
“That is not my inherent nature, Fisher. On the contrary, my choice to sleep is a result of my conscious decision.
“In fact, I, Cidi, and every demon except Baemon do not have any fundamental differences. He has his nature, and I have mine. He needs lust to feed, while I need ‘conflict’; be it conflicts generated by myself or others, either will do. My power invisibly forces those around me into inevitable competition, and even my kin cannot escape this. I can only draw endless power and sustenance from this (Fallen Nature).
“So, even while I sleep, anyone praying to me will be influenced by my power, causing them to slaughter each other, let alone when I manifest. Long ago, the seeds of authority already sprouted within me, just a step away from the Nineteen Rank, well aware that with a large-scale war, I could step into that realm. But I detest it; I loathe my nature and the endless conflicts born from it.
“Call me hypocritical or excuse-ridden, but indeed, like Cidi, I detest this primal instinct that is as simple as eating and drinking for you humans.”
Eil looked at Fisher with an expressionless face and spoke calmly,
“When I was first born, I was unaware of this point and instead, like a glutton, tirelessly satisfied my nature. To that end, I fought against strong and weak opponents alike. I could defeat elves and angels with all my might, and skillfully outmatch humans far beneath me. Back then, I wallowed day and night in the pleasure of defeating others, enjoying the humility of those who were far inferior to me, washing my victories with their blood of defeat.”
Her words reverberated in the quiet library, as if at that moment, the long-sealed armor and weapons in her fortress were being polished to a shine.
“It wasn’t until I sank deeper into victory, and my power grew stronger and stronger, relishing the world’s praise of my name while acknowledging others’ lesser joy, that I suddenly realized my nature was distorting everything I hadn’t originally intended.
“Under the influence of my nature, everything around me began to change, and at the time, I didn’t realize this wasn’t what I wanted until my servants killed all the others to prove their excellence, until my followers slaughtered their wives, children, and parents to offer on the sacrificial altar for the sake of proving who’s sacrifice was superior, and until men and women harmed their own bodies in seeking love, cutting flesh to prove they were better than their counterparts, that I finally recognized this was not right.
“When I saw all of this, my inner self immediately told me that this absolute competition with no bottom line was not what I wanted; yet my body felt an irresistible pleasure from absorbing this continuous Fallen Nature, craving more from me, anticipating my compliance with my nature to bring conflict to more innocent lives.”
Eil, the Demon God, had once shaken the world with her name, especially in the time when past myths had not yet perished and the world was still tumultuously unsettled. Such a powerful and combative being inevitably had numerous followers and countless enemies.
But when she herself began to realize the adverse consequences of her nature, the Demon God who ruled over war and consciousness of warriors vanished, replaced by a demoness who quietly slept through the long years, akin to a cat.
Perhaps even today, she still battles against it, but since she had grown accustomed to this, it allowed others to feel not a whiff of her bloodthirsty nature.
“I possess an innate aversion to external matters, enough to dissolve them by themselves; that is the true source of my conflicts. And once I realized this, I began my relentless fight against it. I tried countless futile methods, ultimately resorting to putting my consciousness to sleep, using unconscious slumber to counter my nature and its influence.
“That way, as long as no one approached, there would be no conflicts arising from me. No matter how the wars of myths raged, no matter how the Mother became enraged and sealed our entire race underground, I never revealed myself again. Even when I was sealed, I felt fortunate because passively being confined provided a safeguard for my not-so-steady will.
“But nature is nature; I can endure but I must inevitably overcome the pain, a pain that is difficult to describe, difficult to suppress. No matter how many times I endure, the sparks of conflict still ignite within my heart, threatening to burn me completely. So, when Ag came seeking my aid, I accepted the task, and with my soul leaving the abyss, I went outside to hunt down that human with the supplement handbook to alleviate the hunger I had endured for so long with no outlet.”
Fisher swallowed once again, suddenly recalling the previous records and summoning methods regarding Eil on Solomon’s scroll, finally understanding the true meaning of the phrase “summoned but unresponsive.” He couldn’t help but ask,
“Didn’t Saint Nali at that time also feel the influence of your nature? Why didn’t I feel anything at all?”
Eil smiled slightly and replied,
“No, at that time, I was adequately sated. Don’t forget that when I left the Southern Continent, the humans there and other races were engaged in a war over their homeland. When I awoke, I drew enough sustenance from there; although in some sense, it accelerated the intensity and progress of that war, by the time I arrived at Saint Nali to officially undertake Ag’s task, I began again in overcoming my nature’s cycle.
“Fisher, you must understand, the process of overcoming one’s instincts is a painful cycle for a warrior. For me, it is even more so; I see no end to it, only struggling through repeated endurance, bursts of indulgence, and relief following each indulgence. Of course, what occurred in Saint Nali had nothing to do with me; aside from my state of endurance, another reason is that I encountered you in Snakehead Street at that time.”
Her bright, fiery eyes swept across the darkness, landing directly on Fisher at the table, making him unconsciously murmur,
“Me?”
“Ah, you. Fisher, do you know why Cidi is so infatuated with Barbatos?”
Eil’s gaze drifted downstairs, as if the temperature was slowly dropping, and she answered her own question,
“Because after meeting Barbatos, Cidi’s uncontrollable instincts were finally restrained. He no longer needed to draw sustenance in such a despicable way, nor fight against his instincts; he gained freedom. This can certainly be interpreted as ‘love,’ but he is only at the fifteenth rank, so such weak instincts can be easily overcome. But I hold no hope for myself because of the strength of my instincts; I believe there’s no existence that can accommodate me.
“But you are different, Fisher. Knowing you possess the supplement handbook and recognizing that you locked my soul with that chaotic power (the process of binding her via the Subhuman Girl Supplement Handbook), my instincts gradually awakened, subconsciously influencing those around me, which is you. At that time, I didn’t see anything wrong; I initially thought you were just like others who possessed a supplement handbook; I even wanted you to provoke conflict with them, as you all inherently harbor rejection.
“However, I gradually discovered that you were not affected by my nature, not even a little, and this trait was not limited to you; it allowed me to be alongside you without influencing anyone due to my nature. You can completely accommodate me, diminishing my nature to incite conflict, making me not feel hungry. Even without receiving any Fallen Nature, I still wouldn’t feel pain.”
Fisher’s pupils constricted, staring at Eil, who was sitting on the desk looking at him, and he heard her continue,
“You are special to me; even based just on your existence, I discovered this pleasure for the first time. But back then, I didn’t realize this was your uniqueness; I just felt comfortable and content being around you. Indeed, at certain moments back then, I wanted to stay by your side like this and cast aside Ag and everything else. It wasn’t until that guy (Erwind)’s horrid concoction showed up at your doorstep that I realized you might be in danger, forcing me to leave you.
“So, my decision back then may have been impulsive, but it was not made casually. Whether you say I lacked feelings or was being opportunistic, at that time, I genuinely handed over everything to you for the sake of that comfort and relaxation I felt when I was with you.”
It was like that back then, but perhaps before that, a cat must also determine whether it liked the scent of the person.
At this point, Eil’s expression also appeared somewhat embarrassed. Even in the darkness of the library, Fisher could distinctly see her wheat-colored face beginning to rise with a bit of unnatural pink.
Then, like a mischievous cat that had done something bad, she stole a glance at Fisher and then pouted, insisting,
“Is there anything wrong with noticing you because of these external reasons? Don’t tell me that when we did that kind of thing, it was due to understanding my nature. Isn’t my appearance also attractive to you? I think the effect should be… well, pretty good?”
In fact, Fisher hadn’t been thinking about that; instead, he was reflecting on Eil’s apparent lack of experience in this regard. If that was the case, it stood to reason that a bad angel like Hela could act with countless schemes to ensure Fisher would fall for her, without needing to give herself like Eil did so foolishly.
“For demons, overcoming one’s nature is indeed difficult, right?”
Eil hesitated for a moment upon hearing this, then nodded without evasion,
“It really is so. It is the strongest and most unbeatable enemy I have encountered since my birth. No matter the opponent, even those ranked higher than me, I can devise strategies and methods, but I am utterly helpless against it. I can only hide away, passing time through sleep. I don’t know how Cidi accomplished it, but he and Barbatos turned out to be the only two demons within the dynasty to succeed.”
Cidi and Barbatos, huh?
Fisher vaguely felt that their ability to overcome their demonic nature might have something to do with the Subhuman Girl Enthusiast aspect; otherwise, he wouldn’t be helped so much, not even choosing sides with Barbatos but opting for neutrality.
“The experiences of Cidi and Barbatos are unrepeatable because their natures are completely different from mine; even the nature of demon gods behind the same door can differ. It is only when I am beside you that I feel a glimmer of hope. I begin to think, ‘Living like this isn’t so bad,’ while you are out there hustling, I’m home sleeping waiting for you.”
Fisher felt a bit amused at that, recalling his time in Saint Nali; it was as if he had raised a giant fat cat at home—eating a lot, doing no work, and only sleeping. Who wouldn’t feel happy about that?
“Well, it certainly sounds rather comfortable,”
As Eil spoke, she also began to feel embarrassed. She touched her head, her face turning red again,
“Isn’t it wrong to think so? Moreover, even if you ask me to do something, I can learn, as long as it’s not like before. Also, back then, I genuinely thought that having a little demon with you would be nice. Not those mindless and brainless little demons outside; I mean, a child between you and me would be quite nice.”
Fisher opened his mouth, raising his head to meet Eil, who sat on the desk, just inches away from him.
Under the gaze of Hela’s picture behind him, amidst the swirling scent of nitrate, Fisher uncontrollably swallowed again.
Eil’s tail behind her swayed once, and the atmosphere suddenly became silent, as if the distance between them closed slightly during their eye contact.
However, when Fisher’s hand, resting on the table, gently placed itself on her thigh, Eil suddenly trembled, seemingly startled. She quickly stepped back a short distance with a slightly flushed face, scratched her cheek, and forced a smile, saying,
“…But I am just a soul right now, and my body is also a mythical being, so I cannot bear offspring; you should know this?”
“…I know.”
Fisher said this, yet his hand didn’t leave her thigh. He looked at his hand and suddenly asked,
“I’m just curious why I have the ability to make you suppress your nature. Is it because of the supplement handbook? Or do I possess some special quality? More than one person has said that I can read more than one supplement handbook.”
“Who can say? But for demons, that person who can solve the existence of their nature may only be special to them. Just like Cidi and Barbatos, back then, none of us anticipated that those two beings with utterly unrelated natures could alleviate their respective instincts. Such occurrences are serendipitous; your appearance at that time indeed seemed a god-send opportunity for me.”
Eil surveyed Fisher before her, seemingly finding nothing special about him. She shook her head and said,
“Back then, I wasn’t quite sure whether it was fate’s trickery, for you showed up precisely when I was sealed; moreover, our compatibility was so good. But I had to face the harsh reality that I needed to return to my seal and that you actually weren’t mine. Perhaps due to the long suppression of my nature, even when Baemon appeared, upon first seeing everything she left behind, I found myself thinking that being with you and that free, unbound guy might also be a correct choice; at least she likely wouldn’t care about the other ladies around you, probably even less than I do?
“But my nature told me I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to concede.”
Eil’s eyes still shone, but the fervor contained within wasn’t just the fire in her eyes; it seemed as if she would ignite the environment surrounding her.
She exhaled a breath of scorching air, then gently grasped Fisher’s collar, leaning closer bit by bit until her hardened horns touched Fisher’s forehead, their noses brushed against each other.
“This time, even with you by my side, I don’t want to overcome my nature.”
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(End of this chapter)
