Chapter 618: 96. Contradiction
“Ah, I guess the factor triggering my death might just be this thought of ‘I want to live,’ right?”
“….”
Fisher and Emhart, who was on Fisher’s shoulder, were both stunned at the same time. At that moment, when Holland said this, he appeared unusually calm. He merely turned to look at the distant lava, allowing the intense heat and brightness from it to hit his face, bringing a bit of warmth to his initially corpse-like pale cheeks.
“This is really….”
Emhart couldn’t help but make a sarcastic remark, and Holland picked up on his words.
“Fate playing tricks on us?”
“That’s part of it, but how could that be?”
“Who knows?”
Holland cracked his fingers, but certain thoughts had already crossed his mind, and he gradually opened his heart to Fisher.
“In the place where I lived, every day was filled with war and famine. I left home seeking food and eventually joined the cult that worshipped Heya. I had no choice but to risk my neck around those madmen, and essentially, it was also to survive. The members of the cult would randomly assign numbers to those preparing for the rituals to determine the order. I was both lucky and unfortunate; I drew the last number.
“So afterward, I watched as those ahead of me met dreadful fates in experiments, while I counted down the days until it was my turn for the ritual. By now, I have forgotten what that feeling was like, but I do feel that those countdown days should mean something to me… it should be a desire to survive, right? So, as time approached, I finally could not overcome my fear of death and escaped from the cult early, only to be captured in the process.”
Fisher finally realized where Holland’s stolen death came from. When he chose to escape from the cult out of a desire to live and got caught, his death had already arrived, and it was Ag who had taken it away from him.
“So, you actually want to live deep down inside, right, Holland?”
“…. Um.”
Holland thought for a long while, seeming to exhale in confirmation of his own thoughts, but Fisher wasn’t sure whether to congratulate him.
By normal standards, being able to survive is certainly a reason for joy, but Holland’s expression was very complex, leaving Fisher somewhat at a loss about his thoughts.
Sure enough, the next moment, while looking at the lava, Holland spoke again.
“But I’ve still decided to die, Fisher.”
“Hey, come on, brother, didn’t you just say you wanted to live? Why are you suddenly changing your mind? Are you experiencing a split personality?”
Emhart opened his mouth, then sarcastically commented on it, while Fisher remained silent, casting an inquiring glance at him.
Holland chuckled humorously, shaking his head as he explained.
“Ag stole the factor that triggered my death, leaving me forever waiting in the cult for death. I feel like I’m still inside that cage, putting myself on the death list just to eat a few days’ worth of meals, waiting for someone to call my name and take me out. The death stolen by Ag just made the queue of people in front of me infinitely long, calming my heart, but, Fisher, I am destined never to escape this cage.
“What my heart desires and the reality of the outcome is a contradiction that is inevitable for me. When I want to live, the death I lost will return, and when I want to die, everything will pause as it did before, including death; it’s like a choice, either anxiously waiting for the infinitely approaching line of death or fearfully grabbing the next death number ahead of time.”
He fell silent for a moment, reached into his pocket, and took out an ancient book with “Death Completion Manual” engraved on the cover, placing it in front of Fisher, who could see it.
“Fisher, if it were you, how would you choose?”
“…. I would choose to die.”
Fisher remained silent for a moment before looking into Holland’s eyes as he said,
“The latter might be a mistake, but the former, you have already genuinely experienced its pain and want to be rid of it. If you can regret any choice, it’s better to choose the one that is worthy of your past self, which is [Death].”
Holland smiled, lowered his head, and murmured,
“Yes, that makes sense. No wonder you are a scholar from Nali. But perhaps that’s how I am [normal].”
“Why?”
“Well, because the arrival of death and your thoughts can sometimes be contradictory. When you want to seek death, life will subconsciously resist, bringing you extreme fear that makes you abandon that idea; while when you want to live, no matter how much you struggle, to it, it’s like a flickering candle, extinguished with a puff. If that’s the case, then let me die in contradiction.”
At this moment, even Emhart, who usually spoke a lot, fell silent, and Fisher remained quiet as well. He opened his mouth, just as Holland raised his finger to point at the direction above, his expression becoming more serious.
“And the situation up there is very serious. The crevice has begun to show signs of collapse. Although burning takes time and the crevice is still Dalasgon’s domain, it may be able to delay time to some extent. But the destruction of the crevice is inevitable. This may just be the beginning, especially since that undying old man has said that as long as these manuals exist, extinction will not stop.
“There are a total of six Completion Manuals, each corresponding to six different natures and sources of chaos. Currently, the whereabouts of four are clear: the Fate Completion is with the undying old man, Death is with me, Life and Soul are with you, while the Mechanism and the former president’s Magic Manual are missing. However, according to the undying old man’s research over the past several thousand years, their whereabouts are likely related to the Spirit Realm.”
Six Completion Manuals, six different sources of chaotic nature.
Fisher suddenly remembered the reminder left for him by the Subhuman Girl Enthusiast through Cidi, where she said, “There exists one or six kinds of entities attempting to destroy the world.” If those six kinds are the sources of these six Completion Manuals, then what is that “or” “one”?
“And there’s another thing, the method that Baemon the Demon God used to release the two Demon Gods was not the base.”
“Yes, I know that.”
Fisher had already figured this out when Emhart mentioned the urgency of the situation. However, he had been considering whether to inquire about this matter with Hela or keep it to himself to investigate further, because even if he asked Hela, he couldn’t be sure whether the answer he got was true or false.
She said the plan failed and that she wanted to stop, but Fisher couldn’t tell if she was serious.
Fisher had already resolved to collect all the Completion Manuals to attempt to solve the Apocalypse Prophecy. He knew that the Apocalypse Prophecy was related to the women he knew because they were figures who appeared in the Supplement Handbook for Sub-Humans’ prophecy. If Hela was still considering letting him abandon the Apocalypse Prophecy to preserve herself, would he just let it go?
Rather than getting an uncertain answer, it was better for him to find the clues himself.
“…. Um, I know that your connection with that Baemon the Demon God is unusual, but at this time, I won’t judge your private life. However, if you don’t want to exchange ideas with her, I do have some clues here that might relate to her releasing Ag and Barbatos.”
Upon hearing Holland mention Fisher’s private life, Emhart suddenly became excited as if wanting to share experiences and thoughts with a kindred spirit, but Fisher had already predicted his action and gently held him back.
“What clues?”
Holland thought for a moment, then questioned,
“Do you…. um, Fisher, have you ever heard of an elf named ‘Ch’?”
Fisher’s pupils constricted slightly, and his brow instinctively furrowed.
“That’s the little sister of the Elf Trio.”
“I don’t know her; I just felt the situation inside the Dynasty when Jasmine the Priestess used the Base’s power upon entering it not long ago. Jasmine said she didn’t feel the effect of the Base, so I checked the sealing situation of Barbatos and Ag, and then I found two strange trees with peculiar wood there. Ch’s wood should be related to some kind of elf’s essence, which seemed to react with the Mother’s power, allowing them to escape.”
“….”
Ch’s power can break the Mother’s seal?
As Holland mentioned this, Fisher suddenly recalled something.
Ch and Renee looked exactly alike, and now Ch’s whereabouts were unknown. The Infinite Authority and Death had even developed a new consciousness, so would there be some connection between the Mother and Ch?
Moreover, coincidentally, Hela had met Ch, and she even had a mirror given to her by Ch, and she said that she was the key to solving the Apocalypse Prophecy.
Fisher felt that he had grasped the logic behind it, but he wasn’t sure why Ch’s power could distort the Mother’s seal, and what kind of relationship existed between Ch and the Mother.
“I understand, thank you, Holland, this is a very crucial clue.” Fisher nodded, took a deep breath, then asked Holland, “If you have decided what to do, is there anything I can help you with?”
Holland thought for a moment, stood up to look upward, then turned back to Fisher and said,
“I indeed need your last favor. You probably want to meet Jasmine the Priestess and Queen Raphael outside the Dynasty, right? Then let’s go, we’ll head to the surface first and I’ll tell you the details.”
Fisher also stood up to agree, as he was indeed worried about the current status of Raphael and Jasmine.
“Eil?”
He turned back to let Eil know, but after calling her twice, she remained still. When Fisher jumped up to check, he found that she was sprawled out, fast asleep, her mouth slightly open as she breathed in and out, looking quite peaceful.
“….”
“Huhuhu!!”
Above the Southern Continent, a massive void was continuously spreading. That sense of space being burned was something no ordinary beings could feel. In the eyes of the humans and subhumans of the Southern Branch Mountains, they wouldn’t even realize what was happening.
The tiny individuals completely lost their ability to sense and measure in the face of terrifying power, simply being dragged by their survival instincts to dodge until everything settled, and only then could they perceive the traces left behind with their limited senses.
At that moment, the heavy rain had finally stopped. After a day and a night, the sky over Southern Avenue was clear again, illuminating the Southern Branch Mountains that had just been penetrated and transformed overnight.
Unable to see the burning crevice above them, the beings could only recognize the crimson mist spreading from it, thinking it was merely a red cloud that would never dissipate and was expanding.
The human army scattered completely, and it was estimated that they would have to escape dozens or hundreds of miles north to finally report the situation here—keywords being natural disaster, missing commander, and the military in disarray; the Dragon Court’s situation was not much better either since Eil and Barbatos had fought from there to the far end of the Southern Continent, causing them to fall out of formation. Not to mention, they couldn’t find their leaders, Raphael and Jasmine; they were still engaged in rescue efforts for the casualties, while some forces were still searching for the Queen on the battlefield below.
Fisher, Holland, and Emhart quickly passed through a portal and arrived on the surface.
After Eil fell asleep earlier, Fisher had to take Holland back to find Hela. He needed a portal to leave the Dynasty.
Hela generously gave Fisher the runes for the portal outside her palace. With this rune, Fisher could open a portal to her palace from any location on the Southern Continent.
As soon as he emerged, Fisher’s attention was immediately drawn to the highly oppressive crevice overhead. Just as Holland had said, the crevice was collapsing but still required some time.
Looking at this situation, it might hold for another month or two?
Fisher looked at the crevice that had expanded to several hundred miles after a day and a night, his expression appearing somewhat serious.
“Fisher!!”
At that moment, not far away, a figure appeared, first surveying the area, and soon after, Jasmine’s voice came, prompting Fisher to rush over.
He hurriedly reached Jasmine’s side, observing her face covered in sand and dust kicked up by the storm stirred up by Barbatos earlier. Even her blue hair was dotted with some dirt, but it couldn’t hide her excitement and joy upon seeing Fisher. She leaped into his embrace as soon as she landed.
“Jasmine.”
“That’s great! Fisher, I’m so glad you’re okay!”
Jasmine buried her head in his embrace and suddenly recalled something, pointing towards a dune not far away.
“Raphael is over there. She’s been affected by what happened in the Demon Dynasty, so her progress has been very slow. She still hasn’t awakened, but she should be fine soon; Raphael is about to reach the Mythical Life Tier.”
Jasmine initially said this happily, but soon her expression showed a subtle trace of melancholy.
Because she had not yet reached myth, still revolving at the gate of the Mythical Rank. Although she was indeed glad for Raphael, compared to her own stagnation, she still felt a bit down.
Fisher noticed her thoughts and hugged her tightly, whispering,
“It’s okay, Jasmine. If it weren’t for you, I might be dead down there. Thank you.”
“Hehe.” Hearing Fisher’s praise, Jasmine’s mood improved slightly, and she nodded, saying, “Although it seems I didn’t help much, being the first person to be thanked by Fisher-sensei is worth it!”
“….”
Um, but hadn’t he previously thanked Eil for helping him?
Forget it, it’s fine; it should be like Jasmine said.
“Sir Book! Mr. Holland! You’re both okay. Oh, I almost forgot about Mr. Holland’s condition.”
Holland smiled and nodded to Jasmine, then looked up at the sky, observing the illusory crimson mist, the sunlight penetrating it, and the clouds passing through. He finally took a deep breath and turned to Jasmine and Fisher.
“Then it’s time to say goodbye. Priestess Jasmine, farewell.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
Jasmine pursed her lips, still not comprehending what Holland meant, while Emhart fluttered onto her shoulder and shook his head.
“Is it really that urgent?”
“Ah, I’m not sure, but I feel this is the most suitable time. After all, I’ve been waiting for so long, haven’t I?”
“…. That’s true.” Fisher sighed wryly and then left Jasmine’s side, walking towards Holland, asking, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Um, come with me this way. Then, I need a knife, and you’ll use that knife to behead me, just like an execution.”
Finally, Holland added,
“The ritual I drew at the time was the beheading ritual. Those madmen thought that losing head and body consciousness would bring them closer to Heya.”
“…. I understand. Give me a moment; I’ll prepare the knife.”
“No problem, I need to make some preparations too.”
Holland smiled faintly, then moved a short distance away from Fisher, took off his coat, followed by his shirt, revealing his extremely emaciated, malnourished, and hunched body.
Fisher sat in silence for a moment on a nearby mound of dirt, then took out Ouyun’s essential oil and the Fluid Sword’s hilt from the Supplement Handbook for Sub-Humans.
The essential oil had no color, just like clear water in a glass bottle. Fisher suspiciously shook the liquid, doubting whether the Subhuman Girl Enthusiast had mistakenly put it in.
“Haha. Fisher, have you ever done something like this before?”
“…. I haven’t executed anyone, but I have killed before.”
“This is something that every Nali person has, to varying degrees, blood on their hands in this era.”
After he took off his upper clothing, he began to tug at his shirt with all his might, tearing it into strips. This was a strain on his malnourished body, causing him to start breathing heavily.
Fisher smiled slightly, opened the cap of the essential oil, and an intense burning scent immediately surged into his nose, making him turn his head slightly away.
He glanced at Holland, who was seemingly doing something, and happening to see his calm expression, he asked,
“Your expression doesn’t look like someone who doesn’t want to die.”
“Well, maybe a little, after all, the past me who wanted to die is still me. Under such circumstances, my death probably won’t come. Earlier, when I fell from the Ten Gates into the lava, I wondered if I would just die from falling. I felt fear and thought I didn’t want to die, then… I sensed the existence of death. But as I fell, I thought, ‘Isn’t this what I’ve been pursuing all along?’ wanting to die this way, yet unexpectedly, I still didn’t die when I hit the lava.”
“So, if you let me behead you, won’t I need to do it hundreds of times until you reach that moment when you don’t want to die anymore?”
“That is a possibility.”
“….”
Holland pantingly tore off a long piece of cloth, teasing Fisher, then turned back to look at him, saying,
“It can begin now.”
He then knelt on the ground, wrapping the cloth around his eyes, circling it again and again, securing it tightly.
Fisher also lowered his head, dripping the essential oil onto his Fluid Sword.
Originally, Fisher thought that with such a large bottle of essential oil, he could use just a couple of drops to repair the Fluid Sword, leaving the rest for later use. However, after dripping a couple of drops, it was utterly useless, just like a middle-aged gentleman from Nali with male dysfunction benefiting from only a tiny drop of dragon blood.
In that case, he simply poured all the essential oil onto the hilt of the Fluid Sword.
Miraculously, the essential oil dropped onto the Fluid Sword was completely absorbed, with not a single drop falling to the ground or onto Fisher’s hands, instead all entering the sword.
Following that, the long-ailing Fluid Sword finally began to slowly grow once again with the help of the “tonic,” as the期待 of Fisher, its mercury-like blade slowly unfolded, revealing its sharpness.
Watching the “execution instrument” ready in his hands, Fisher then slowly approached the kneeling Holland, who was facing away from him, his naked upper body exposed.
He lowered his head, placing his hands behind his back, a back that was already deformed from hunching became even more visible due to his skinniness.
“When should I strike? Do you need me to give you a signal?”
“…. No need, but it’s best to wait a bit longer. After a while, without telling me the time, just go for it.”
“Alright.”
Fisher took a deep breath, raised the blade, aiming for Holland’s neck, while not far away, Jasmine held her breath, covering her mouth in anticipation.
“…. Farewell, Mr. Holland Dionysius.”
“….”
Holland didn’t respond again, only bowing his head.
The winds of the Southern Continent were always boisterous, and it wouldn’t help with the impending storm, but in Holland’s ears, there was only silence, even a faint buzzing noise reminiscent of tinnitus.
His mind continually echoed past joys, trying to evoke a hope for life and a fear of death through such means, so that he could naturally die.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember anything, not even his childhood sweetheart, Laika, could evoke any hope in him.
She was already dead, while he was not, so he should die.
No, why should he think of such things? If that’s the case…
Behind him, the blade in Fisher’s hand remained still, making Holland even more confused as to why he hadn’t struck yet. At this moment, Holland himself couldn’t even confirm his true thoughts in his heart, only wishing Fisher would drop the blade quickly and free him from his torment.
“Buzz buzz buzz.”
But amidst the buzzing and the darkness from the blindfold, something suddenly lightly tapped Holland on the shoulder.
In the next second, a calm, slightly hoarse man’s voice unexpectedly whispered in his ear, that voice belonging to Fisher, whose voice had been changed by the chaos of life.
“The next one, it’s your turn.”
“….”
Holland, kneeling, used the voice altered by the chaos of life to slowly step back, then gently raised the Fluid Sword in his hand toward his neck.
He didn’t know what Holland was thinking, but just before the Fluid Sword in his hand fell, Holland’s head suddenly detached from his neck.
“Pff!”
Amidst the splatter of countless blood, Holland’s headless body abruptly collapsed to the ground, heading towards the embrace of death.
(End of Chapter)
