Chapter 734: 34. Full Moon (Part 1)
“Buzzing.”
It was as if a faint tremor from the void emanated an instinctual sense of rejection and oppression that compelled Fisher’s body to instinctively want to retreat, making him hesitate to turn his head and check on what was happening on that side.
After breathing for a moment, he slowly turned his head to look, like a newlywed husband cautiously lifting the veil from his bride’s face.
Following the direction of his tilted head, the once gentle moonlight grew increasingly bright, forming a ring of ethereal halo around a vague, enormous shape. At the edge of the pristine moonlight, Fisher was the first to see strands of constantly swirling material that resembled some kind of black feathers.
The moment he saw the black feathers, Fisher felt a burning discomfort in his eyes, yet he continued to gaze further into it. Soon, he fully captured the “moon” that was rising from the void.
To be honest, it was not something that could be simply referred to as a “moon.”
Before Fisher, there floated a colossal shape similar in size to the moon, covered with layers of sparkling black feather-like material that eternally moved like tides.
This material was very smooth, continuously generating faint fluorescence as it moved, yet the feather-like things on the surface of this giant entity constantly squirmed, contracting deeper into its body while continuously emerging from another direction, as if the number of these black feathers was endless and innumerable.
Fisher merely felt that its body seemed to be in constant motion, and its surface eternally sprouted feathers, but the sheer volume of newly generated feathers quickly buried the older ones beneath them, leaving them tilted and lying flat.
However, when the old feathers tilted, they seemed to vanish from Fisher’s sight. Yet, he sensed that those feathers hadn’t disappeared; they were merely accumulating.
Constantly growing, constantly accumulating, yet the increase remained imperceptible to the eye because their quantity was already vast beyond measure by any entity or wisdom.
Fisher stared blankly at the ever-growing black feathers of the “moon.” In a haze, he seemed to see the movement trails of those black feathers shining with silver light, resembling a Möbius strip filled with magical mystery.
Amidst layers upon layers of endless black feathers, a phantom purple ring glowed softly, looking down at Fisher, who stood above the Sea of Souls, like an opened eye.
Its form was indeed too gigantic, making Fisher’s human shape appear exceedingly small.
After the purple ring lit up, purple ethereal ribbons resembling wings extended from the moving black feathers, creating a dazzling display in the air akin to the aurora.
This is… Renee’s true form?
Fisher stared dazedly at the enormous amorphous entity in mid-air. It seemed Renee grew shyer under his gaze, and during this process, Fisher noticed that the black feathers moving on her body seemed to tighten further, causing the overall shape to shrink a circle.
Is she shy?
Why does she give Fisher the impression of curling up her body?
For reasons unknown, as he watched the enormous indescribable twisted form in mid-air, Fisher unexpectedly felt an indescribable
beauty?
“Fisher”
Renee’s voice came from the void, that somewhat shy tone snapped Fisher back to reality.
“Um… how do you feel about this?”
“Very beautiful.”
Fisher unconsciously said this while gazing at the enormous form in front of him.
“…”
But what greeted him was a silence.
Then, he heard Renee’s slightly despondent voice.
“Actually, you don’t need to lie to me, Fisher. I know you can’t accept it, and you won’t accept it either. This is just my true form; in the eyes of ordinary beings, we are all indescribable monsters.”
“No, I…”
Fisher blinked, originally wanting to explain that “this is how I truly feel,” but would saying this make Renee think he was being more hypocritical or perhaps a bit too strange?
Indeed, from the ordinary person’s perspective, this was indeed a bit difficult to accept; even Fisher felt that way himself. But truthfully, for some reason, he felt an inexplicable attraction emanating from Renee’s true form.
He swallowed hard and then asked,
“Renee, is your body a little… unnatural?”
“Unnatural?”
In mid-air, her enormous body paused slightly. It wasn’t until Fisher said this that Renee seemed to realize there might be something.
If forced to make a comparison, it was probably like the action of hugging herself while squatting down, somewhat concealing her usual posture?
But Fisher shouldn’t have been able to see that, why would his senses be so keen?
“No, no.”
Fisher opened his mouth and nodded, smiling,
“Alright, then let’s begin.”
“. Huh? Begin what?”
It seemed Renee had been completely overwhelmed by shyness.
“You forgot? Let me adapt to the training of authority.” Fisher couldn’t help but chuckle and said to the enormous form of Renee in the air, “Or there’s no need to rush. Actually, adapting just requires my effort; you just stay in place, and I’ll slowly approach you. If I can’t adapt, I’ll just step back.”
After saying that, Fisher stepped toward Renee, but in mid-air, Renee’s gigantic shape began to retreat the moment Fisher moved forward.
Renee’s true form was enormous, and this retreat took her far back in the deep space of the Spirit Realm, making the giant “moon” in Fisher’s view shrink considerably.
“…”
Fisher opened his mouth, looking puzzled at the distance Renee had retreated, and asked,
“Why are you stepping back?”
Surely it couldn’t be because she was used to her avatars running away, so even her true form would do the same?
However, on the other hand, it was quite embarrassing that now Renee’s true form, with such a high rank, was shyly backing away, seemingly scared off by Fisher.
“I’m just worried that you’re not adapted yet.”
“Hmm.”
Fisher looked down at his own hands, shook his head, and said,
“The distance just now was actually okay; in fact, we are still quite far apart. If we were really close, you should occupy my entire view and I wouldn’t know if I could handle it.”
Renee, oh Renee, now you are in your true form; anyway, Fisher can’t read your expressions, so there’s no need to be shy.
“Alright.”
Renee thought like this and slowly approached Fisher, returning to her previous position.
“Is this uncomfortable?”
Fisher shook his head, feeling the changes in his body. After confirming it was okay, he actively looked in the direction of Renee and lightly stepped on the ground, starting to move closer to her.
This time, Renee’s body trembled slightly but did not retreat, only watching Fisher step by step walking across the Sea of Souls towards her.
As he got closer to Renee, Fisher soon felt the sense of rejection emanating from the authority.
It felt as if he was being pricked all over by needles, and as this pain and discomfort intensified with each step closer to Renee, Fisher slowly stopped before he could no longer bear it, his face pale as he adapted to the discomfort brought on by Renee’s authority.
“Is it very uncomfortable, Fisher? Do you want to step back a bit and take a break?”
“Huh, it’s fine, just let me adapt here for a moment.”
Fisher took a deep breath, feeling the pain radiating throughout his body. He supported himself on his knees and eventually sat down directly above the Sea of Souls, splashing layers upon layers of illusory ripples.
Seeing him still enduring, Renee did not move recklessly but quietly watched Fisher with her enormous body, gazing at him with his head down, unsure of what he was thinking.
After a while, Fisher finally lifted his pale face and smiled as he looked at the gigantic Renee, saying,
“Let’s chat a bit; maybe distracting ourselves will help.”
At this moment, both his body and soul began to suffer damage under the influence of the authority, sprouting fleshy buds that seemed to want to flee his body, while his soul was affected to a lesser extent.
Because that precious nature seemed to be buried deep within his soul.
“…What should we talk about? Hmm.”
Numerous topics flashed through Renee’s mind, but as each one surfaced, it would be overshadowed by another question, causing several attempts to speak to come to a standstill.
In the void, the gaze from Renee’s massive purple eyes seemed to condense. She looked down at Fisher and hesitated to ask,
“Fisher, do you really not care about my true form?”
Fisher paused slightly, slowly lifting his head to look at Renee in front of him. He shook his head and said,
“I don’t care, or rather…”
“Hmm, really?”
“Really.”
“Really really?”
“…”
Fisher could only helplessly say,
“How much do you hope I care, Renee?”
“I just…”
“Or rather, it’s not a matter of whether I care; it’s a matter of whether you care, right, Renee?”
Fisher’s words silenced Renee, and even the oscillating movements of her body paused for a moment.
“Because it’s you who cares, you keep asking me. But how can seeking answers from me resolve your question?”
“…You’re right, Fisher.”
Renee’s voice became somewhat low and uncertain. “Actually, I was lying to you before not just to protect myself but because I hoped to present myself in a way that aligns me more with a certain persona in your eyes.”
Fisher was a bit confused. “Persona?”
“Hmm.”
Renee’s gigantic, indescribable form seemed to shrink a bit more, and even the moonlight surrounding her dimmed slightly.
“Because I always feel lonely and want to stay by your side, but I have to pretend I’m not like that, afraid of exposing my dependence on you. So I told you I was busy outside, leaving even when it wasn’t time, while I was actually hiding in the Cardu hotel, using Hart Bird to watch over you.
“Because I’m always shy; I clearly like you, but every time you come near, I feel a contradictory heat. In truth, my mind goes blank every time. But I didn’t want you to notice, so I kept teasing you and pretended to be mature to lure you.”
Fisher was slightly taken aback. He rubbed his sweaty forehead and smiled, saying, “I thought you were just bored, so you played with me.”
“Actually, that’s part of it.”
“…”
Renee’s enormous form shrank again, and her voice became softer, as if whispering in Fisher’s ear.
“Even as a beautiful sorceress, maybe in some way, I became this way because I know my true form wouldn’t be accepted by human aesthetics. Other gods don’t care about this at all; it’s just I’m different. I feel I’m more suitable for, and envy being a ‘human’ rather than a ‘god.’
“Since I awoke from my unclear consciousness, I lost my freedom due to bearing the sins of my former self, signing many treaties with Ramastia to ensure I no longer cause trouble. Watching beings in reality grow old, get sick, and die amidst the companionship of family and friends along the journey, fleeting yet splendid; I feel this is the life I desire.
“And while I possess such powerful authority, when other deities are fighting desperately against incomparably powerful outer gods, my first thought was actually to escape with you. Such thoughts sometimes make me feel undeserving.”
Renee’s ethereal purple eyes lowered slightly, but her divine-like form revealed emotions differently from mortals, leaving her thoughts unreadable.
Yet Fisher could empathize with her voice at that moment; these were Renee’s true feelings.
“If I weren’t a god, I wouldn’t have to feign grandeur due to my elevated position. Spending time in reality with you would also be a good choice. If I weren’t a god, maybe I wouldn’t feel so fidgety today. Even if I appeared ordinary or had a lower rank, perhaps I could confidently stand before you with my true feelings instead of today, like a monster hiding in the background, called upon endlessly to emerge.
“If only I were a human; if only I weren’t a god, Fisher.”
Renee said.
(End of Chapter)
