Chapter 771 Elizabeth – Don’t You See
“Your Majesty Isabel, please calm down, calm down!”
“Get out of the way!”
“Lady Elizabeth has already given orders. No one is allowed to enter except for the nearly personal maid attending her.”
“I said, get out of the way!”
“Understood.”
Deep within the Golden Palace, Isabel, who had completely transformed from a youthful girl into a mature adult, pushed open the inner court officials beside the door. She was about to furiously kick open her sister’s chamber, but seemed unable to bring herself to do it, halting her action in mid-air.
With gritted teeth, Isabel ultimately chose not to kick the door but gently pushed it open.
The palace was dimly lit, the air heavy, permeated with a sense of dusk.
Every time Isabel arrived here, her brows could not help but furrow, a mix of anger and heartache.
“Ha…”
Fortunately, the windows inside were ventilated, allowing a faint light to spill through the gaps, rolling up the drapes and revealing the frail figure sitting on the bed.
Seeing that shadow, Isabel opened her mouth. Just as she was about to speak, a clear female voice came from behind the curtains in the living room.
“Your Majesty Isabel.”
Startled by the voice, Isabel turned her head toward that shadow. She was about to address that person but suddenly changed her tone.
“… Yuer, thank you for your trouble.”
“No trouble at all.”
The shadow behind the curtains nodded, looking like the personal maid mentioned by the inner court officials outside.
Isabel averted her gaze to the frail figure sitting on the bed behind the drapes and called out.
“Sister.”
“What are you doing here?”
Hearing that somewhat hoarse voice, Isabel’s anger surged again. She glanced towards Yuer’s standing direction and quickly walked towards Elizabeth’s bed, pulling back the curtains to reveal the scene on the bed.
There, a woman with dull, lifeless but exceptionally neat golden hair sat on the bed, clad in an oversized white robe that was far too large for her. A white ribbon covered her eyes; though she could see nothing, she still gazed towards the window sill.
An arm, thin as a twig, extended from beneath the covers that barely covered half of her body. Yet despite this, she appeared impeccably taken care of.
Looking at Elizabeth, Isabel took a deep breath and hoarsely asked.
“Sister, you know exactly why I came.”
Elizabeth lowered her head slightly for a moment before replying.
“I said no, you can forget it.”
“Enough! How long do you intend to self-destruct like this? Why won’t you see Fisher? After all these years, he has come so many times, and you refuse to see him? He has returned safely, and he has told you he has a way to cure your eyes. And you?! You keep him at the door, saying you’d rather die than let him in. What does that even mean?”
Isabel could no longer restrain herself, furiously tearing the bed curtains down, the wall above producing a tearing sound that clearly revealed her inner anger and unwillingness.
“Do you need him to kneel before you and beg, or do you want him to completely disregard you to be at ease, sister?!”
“…”
No matter how desperately the now-sovereign Isabel expressed these feelings to Elizabeth, she remained unmoving, gazing outside the window, clearly unable to see anything, and seeming not to hear anything either.
“You’ve driven everyone out of your chambers, and even I have to ask permission to see you. Hundreds of maids have rotated in the six years gone by. Every day, you lie on the bed, doing nothing, not even agreeing to step outside. What on earth are you doing, sister?”
As Isabel said this, she couldn’t hold back her sobs any longer. She covered her face, forcing herself not to look at her too-thin sister on the bed, stammering through her tears.
“You are seeking death; you are abusing your life like this, aren’t you?”
“…”
Elizabeth merely gazed at the window, remaining as silent as a statue, seemingly unable to hear her words.
“Time is so precious, and everything has finally passed, yet you cannot get over this hurdle. It was like this before, and it is still like this now. Sooner or later, you will regret it.”
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Isabel knew better than anyone where Elizabeth’s heartache lay; it seemed to have become a noose around her sister’s neck, leaving her helpless.
Since everything ended, Fisher had sought to see Elizabeth multiple times, all of which were rejected.
Unable to meet with her, Fisher started sending letters, time and again, even if Isabel recited them for her, they were still in vain.
Isabel could only watch as her sister’s condition worsened, seeing her become more despondent and dim, until one day she left her. How could she not be angry?
Isabel took out the letter Fisher had sent half a year ago and said to her.
“In this letter, Fisher already mentioned that this is the last one. If there’s still no response, he may never disturb you again. Think carefully.”
“…”
However, Elizabeth ignored it completely, remaining silent for a moment, simply saying calmly.
“There are state affairs to attend to. You should go handle them.”
“…Alright.”
Isabel sighed deeply, gritting her teeth as she gradually tore the letter into shreds, breaking a corner of the stuffy air in the palace.
With bits too shredded to be recognizable slowly falling to the ground, Isabel finally stood up and turned toward the door.
Her expression was sorrowful, and she couldn’t help but glance once at Yuer’s direction, who was hidden behind the curtains. She opened her mouth again and said softly.
“Thank you, Yuer.”
“Your Majesty Isabel, please take care.”
Isabel finally walked out of the palace without looking back. The inner court officials outside, who had not dared to listen to the noise within, finally breathed a sigh of relief, slowly closing the door.
“Click, click, click.”
The heavy room fell silent once more, while Yuer stepped out from behind the curtains, moving towards the spot where Isabel had torn the letter.
Elizabeth could not see, but her ears were particularly sensitive, and due to her self-destructive nature, her personality had become increasingly eccentric.
It was a near-impossible task to make no sound around her, nor could one move about freely. She wanted to make Isabel satisfied with looking after her sister but was led to do this and forbidden from that. It was almost not a human thing to do.
Over the years, the countless maids that Isabel had hired to care for her could barely last a few days before being driven away by Elizabeth or resigning out of stress.
As Isabel mentioned, Elizabeth was indeed walking towards a dead end.
Unbeknownst to her, six months ago, Isabel had managed to find the maid who now assisted Elizabeth, and she had surprisingly stayed by Elizabeth’s side for six months, to the point where even the meticulous Elizabeth could find no reason to dismiss her.
“…”
At this moment, a tiny breeze drifted through the silence. Although no footsteps were heard, Elizabeth understood that Yuer would be sweeping up the pieces of the shredded letter.
She looked at the window and suddenly gestured with her hand, voice hoarse.
“No need to sweep.”
“No need to sweep?”
Yuer’s voice was gentle and like a whisper, as soon as it was heard, Elizabeth felt drowsy.
Elizabeth turned her head slightly in the direction of Yuer’s voice.
There had originally been curtains outside the bed, but they had just been pulled down by Isabel, so the separation between her and Yuer was gone.
“I’ll pour you a glass of water.”
Elizabeth propped herself up a bit, shaking her head and saying.
“Let’s talk a bit.”
“…”
Yuer fell silent for a moment. Elizabeth couldn’t see her face, but she could guess the expression must have contained surprise.
“Okay, my lady. What would you like to talk about?”
“I don’t know. Just say something random, alright?”
“…”
However, it seemed that after having been around quiet Elizabeth, Yuer now found it hard to say anything at all.
Elizabeth gazed into the profound void before her and softly said.
“Then let’s talk about what Isabel said earlier.”
“Me?”
“Yes, tell me what you think of it. Don’t hold back. Do you think Isabel is right?”
“I don’t quite understand, because… I know very little about your situation, only hearing some vague rumors from others. Even when listening to you and Her Majesty Isabel, it’s half-understood. It seems you don’t want to see someone. How can I speak rashly?”
“Is that not enough?”
“…Is that person important to you?”
Elizabeth’s thin hand clutched the edge of the bedding, her head bowed as she spoke without thinking.
“Well, that person… is my most unutterable secret from my youth. The time spent with him was the happiest in my life. My mother left me at a young age, and I’ve never felt anyone’s love. In this vast royal family, I have walked on thin ice for over a decade. People say, ‘It doesn’t freeze three feet in one day,’ yet all the grudges of those years seemed unimportant when I met him.
“When I was young, the thing I desired most was to be with him for a lifetime. To have a family with him, a real family. I didn’t need him to be extraordinarily wealthy or powerful; even if he had nothing, I would willingly follow him, giving my all without expecting anything in return.”
At this point, Elizabeth paused slightly, giving a sad smile.
“Unfortunately, the beauty I wished to grasp would eventually disperse. My family, the wars between nations, various destinies have set me against him. Perhaps it’s all due to destiny being too unjust; in reality, it is because of myself, my selfishness, and my unwillingness.
“So, my wishes to be with him for the long term ultimately turned into tools to hurt him; my thoughts of wanting to be close to him became nothing but coldness and cruelty that pushed him away.”
By the bed, Yuer remained silent for a moment and then said.
“You must have done a lot for him.”
But Elizabeth merely shook her head, as if she didn’t remember what she had given up for that person. She softly said.
“I must be a very selfish person. I have done many things to hurt him. If I were to really speak, it was all for myself.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I wanted to take warmth and love that I had never received from him. Because I couldn’t bear to lose him, I frantically wanted to bring him back, to reclaim those moments. To regain that warmth, I repeatedly deceived him, putting him in danger time and again. Despite the fact that he could have almost never returned, even after he had been gravely injured, he still couldn’t bear to see me go.
“And now, it’s not any different. Both I and Isabel know he truly wants to see me, yet it’s entirely because of me. I’m the one who is terrified, the one who has done all of this, the despicable me who is afraid to face him.”
Elizabeth hung her head, and over these years, the words hidden in silence and stillness began to seep out; she painfully revealed a bit of her vulnerability.
“I don’t know how to repay the consequences of my selfishness, even my fear and stubbornness cannot be overcome.”
And the reason vulnerability is vulnerability is its pain.
Indeed, just thinking of this made Elizabeth tremble with sadness.
Yuer appeared to fall into deeper silence, and when she spoke again, she merely asked.
“My lady, I have somewhat understood you. Would you like to hear my thoughts on what Her Majesty Isabel said earlier?”
“…Alright, please go ahead.”
Elizabeth could not see Yuer, only hearing her gentle, lullaby-like voice as she softly said.
“My lady, if you don’t want to see him, then don’t.”
“…”
In the impenetrable darkness, the maid’s voice continued.
“Although I don’t understand much about your past with that person, I feel that if you love someone, you certainly wouldn’t care who gives more or less. It wouldn’t involve debt and repayment either. I firmly believe he only wants you to be well. If facing him again will reopen your wounds and make you feel guilty and suffer, then let it be, that’s just fine.
“Saying that Her Majesty Isabel is wrong is one thing, but there is one point where I believe she is right. You indeed should take care of your health. You should step outside of the palace, and even if you don’t wish to see him, please take good care of yourself and your health.”
Elizabeth, reclining, seemed to turn her face directly toward the source of that voice upon hearing it.
Yet, in the darkness, she still could not see anything, only hearing the maid’s voice.
Along that profound void where she could see nothing, under the now torn drapes beside the bed, no more blurry figures, but instead, a dark-haired gentleman with a sorrowful smile appeared.
The soft voice belonging to Yuer emanated entirely from the lips of that dark-haired gentleman.
The afternoon sunlight, streaming through the slightly opened window, illuminated his features clearly.
It turned out that the maid, who had been able to care for this soul with countless wounds perfectly, was none other than Fisher Benavides, the one she had been yearning for.
Thus, by that seemingly instinctive understanding, the emotions that had long ceased to be harmonious pulled their past into its present shape.
Only to say, you do not see, nor do you speak.
Listening to the voice of “Yuer” before her, Elizabeth did not respond again, only nodding, not confirming or denying.
Once more, she slowly lay back down on the bed, covering her frail body with the bedding.
She opened her mouth and softly said,
“I’m tired; I want to sleep for a while.”
“Alright, my lady, I will watch over you.”
“Mm, thank you.”
Elizabeth gradually relaxed her body. For the past six months, Fisher had watched her fall into a deep sleep many times, knowing her reactions even while she was asleep.
Why say watch over her?
Because she would have nightmares night after night.
Sometimes she would wake up sobbing, sometimes terrified to the point of cramping in her limbs, and sometimes weak enough to have trouble breathing.
At those times, Yuer would always timely bring her a cup of hot water, and after she drank it, she would ask,
“What time is it?”
“Still early; please continue resting, my lady.”
And so, it repeated, day and night.
Today seemed no different. Time ticked by until after a long while, Elizabeth finally managed to fall asleep.
As Elizabeth’s breathing gradually calmed under Fisher’s watchful gaze, her brow slightly furrowed, a fine layer of cold sweat appeared, and her breathing began to speed up little by little.
“Ugh…”
Nightmares came once again.
Fisher lowered his gaze slightly, gently picked up a fan beside him, bringing her a faint breeze, hoping to dispel the nightmare.
Yet this time, perhaps due to the earlier argument with Isabel, or the letter that Isabel had torn apart, the nightmare intensified.
Not only her expression but even the muscles in her limbs began to tense. As her chest slightly rose and fell, a hoarse and weak voice seemed to call out a name from deep within her heart.
“Fe…”
“Fisher…”
“Where are you? I’m so scared.”
“Fisher, Fisher.”
The boundless nightmare, like a torture, brought unbearable torment to the already weakened Elizabeth, causing Fisher, by the bed, to struggle.
He looked with deep concern at Elizabeth, who was suffering from the nightmare. He wanted to help her but feared exposing himself, causing her fragile soul further harm.
He was simply worried because of her earlier words, “I’d rather die.”
“Fisher, Fisher.”
Yet in front of him, the low call of his beloved, that pale face, those frail and cold hands, all made it difficult for his heart to bear.
He opened his mouth, took a deep breath, and then decisively reached out toward Elizabeth, who was still lost in her dreams.
For the first time in the past six months, he did not use the power of the Life Completion Manual to alter his skin or voice when touching her; he simply could not bear to let his frail lover suffer from nightmares.
Thus, Fisher gently extended his hand, delicately grasping her right hand, which was exposed outside the covers, resting beside her.
The icy touch warmed under his continuous heat, and feeling the frail hand, Fisher’s tongue trembled, momentarily unable to speak.
But he soon slowly tightened his grip on her hand without disturbing her sleep.
“Don’t be afraid, Elizabeth.”
He took a deep breath and gently spoke in his own authentic voice to her.
“I’m here.”
His voice seemed to have magic; under the warmth of his body, it felt as if the nightmare was effortlessly driven away.
Even her trembling limbs gradually regained their peace, and her rapid breathing began to return to a regular rhythm.
Watching her gradually return to normal, as if she could finally fall into a deep sleep, a heavy stone in Fisher’s heart finally fell.
He could not help but gaze at her face, and ultimately, in order not to disturb her light sleep, he wanted to loosen his grip on her hand so that when she awoke, it would be Yuer, who had stayed by her side for the past six months.
But just as he was about to let go, another cold hand suddenly grasped his hand, tightly holding onto his wrist.
“…”
Fisher’s pupils contracted slightly as he slowly raised his gaze.
He saw that Elizabeth, lying under the covers, actually turned her head towards him, her sight obscured by a ribbon, her pale yet familiar face looking at him.
All the deep sleep, the terrifying nightmares vanished without a trace.
Elizabeth, it turned out, had not been asleep at all.
Only her turned face, only the sightless visage.
“Isabel…”
Fisher instinctively called out in Yuer’s voice, but Elizabeth’s two hands gripping his palm gradually tightened.
She opened her parched lips, and a hoarse voice finally squeezed out from her heart.
“Fisher, I’m sorry.”
Given Fisher’s rank and the unpredictable power of the Life Completion Manual, such concealment ought to be seamless.
Yet, even if unseen, even if untouchable, and even if her voice was entirely different, after six months in each other’s company, that understanding instinctively guided Elizabeth’s realization.
She knew that person had always been by her side.
He said, if you find it difficult, then don’t see him; as long as you can live well, that would be enough.
At that moment, perhaps it ignited her courage, making her resolve to face everything from their past, good or bad.
Thus, trembling, Elizabeth spoke, just as she had previously confessed, facing all her mistakes and confronting the person she desired yet could not have, made her fearsome.
But holding her lover’s hand, she voiced that long-delayed apology and calling.
She said, “I’m sorry.”
Though merely another soft call of his name, and just a simple apology, all their entangled grievances from youth seemed to evaporate into thin air.
Looking at Elizabeth, who seemed to muster all her courage to grasp his hand, a tear formed in Fisher’s eyes, replacing words.
That tear gathered more and more, as if it had weight, forcing him to lower his head.
He merely reached out and embraced the emaciated Elizabeth on the bed tightly, plunging his head into her golden hair and began to cry,
“Thank goodness, Elizabeth. Thank goodness.”
Feeling the breath of his beloved, sensing that long-desired heartbeat, that warm embrace, Elizabeth seemed to recall long ago the urge to cry.
She tightly held onto the person before her; perhaps it was an illusion, but from the edge of the ribbon covering her eyes, a single tear like a gem slid down.
In the silence, that fragility, that guilt, that fervent love all flowed down with that tear.
That was their precious treasure.
Only you do not speak, only you do not see.
(End of the whole book)
(Chapter End)
