Chapter 1105
The So-Called Ouroboros
Such a strong temptation…
For Eivass, who was accustomed to the shortcut of the Shepherd’s Method, it should have been irresistible.
—To even be willing to sacrifice one’s life, for a price of merely deviating slightly from one’s true heart and losing oneself…
But for some reason, when Eivass seriously considered whether to accept this powerful strength, he inexplicably felt a sense of nausea and a vague feeling of being watched.
That kind of feeling was like walking alone in a lightless alley late at night.
A cold and damp wind pierced through his chest, and he always felt like someone was watching him from the darkness—that level of unease.
An Absolute Shortcut… could also be an absolute trap.
Although this level of suspicion made Eivass feel somewhat ridiculous… it was precisely because of the strong revulsion in his heart that he chose to refuse.
“…No, I still refuse.”
Eivass thought seriously for a long time, then smiled and politely refused the temptation: “I would rather pay the price of flesh and blood, even life, or perhaps even my Energy Level… but that price is too heavy for me. So… thank you, but no thank you.
“I still hope… that the legend of this sword will end here. Merlin was right, this sword is still too demonic. To be able to silently and permanently alter a person’s mind… I don’t have the confidence to wield a curse of this magnitude.
“…If we believe Merlin and consider it a living beast. The fact that ‘Galahad could use this sword normally without falling’ might just be a trap set by itself. Releasing one prey to deceive more prey into falling into the trap… there are intelligent beasts of this caliber.”
Once the choice was made, Eivass suddenly felt a sense of relaxation.
Although there was some regret… Eivass would not go back on a decision already made.
If it were before Eivass’s “separation and reunion,” where he hadn’t yet recognized his true heart, he might have accepted it.
But the current Eivass would not.
Every single component of his current personality came from his past experiences, from his family and friends around him.
The sacrifice and transcendence he experienced in reaching the Fifth Tier came from Alistair’s sacrifice, Isabel’s love… from his elder brother’s affection, Sherlock’s friendship… even from his foster father’s expectations, and from every person he knew, good or bad. His growth was not achieved overnight but was tempered through countless events.
He no longer wanted to fall into such divine emptiness like the “Pope Eivass” of the past, nor did he want to have such unrestrained desires like the “beast-like Alistair.”
His current personality, every bit of it, was something he had personally obtained and did not wish to lose.
Any deviation that appeared out of nowhere could mean that some experience had lost its meaning.
—It was like Eivass not liking to use cheat codes when playing single-player games. Of course, it would be great to skip the meaningless time and effort of “grinding for items”… but if just a slight touch of a finger could grant countless resources and items that couldn’t be obtained in hundreds of hours, wouldn’t the time spent grinding for items beforehand be wasted?
Eivass suddenly recalled a memory from his childhood:
When his family was still intact, he used to enjoy playing Pokémon games on an emulator. Although it was a pirated single-player game that couldn’t be played online, and even the translation had some issues… he still enjoyed it immensely.
Continuously encountering new Pokémon in the tall grass, battling NPCs to earn money, planting berries, breeding eggs… even if the bred Pokémon couldn’t be used in battles with others, the act of capturing and nurturing them was fun in itself.
But one day, he found a game modifier online.
With just a flick of his finger, he could modify the stats of the Pokémon in his backpack. Whether it was perfect IVs, rare traits, money, levels, or experience points in his backpack… or obtaining late-blooming Pokémon or even legendary beasts during the beginner stage, it was all easily done.
He excitedly played with it for a while, constantly trying out various novel starting options and team compositions. But one day, he suddenly felt it was meaningless.
—He could no longer calmly face repeated battles to grind for experience, nor could he ride his bike to hatch a backpack full of eggs. If the modifier could easily accomplish these things, then deliberately ignoring it and continuing to waste time was nothing more than playing make-believe. For a moment, he even felt that his past happiness was just a meaningless waste of time…
There were many such experiences…
As Eivass recalled this event, those memories that had seemed non-existent in his heart suddenly began to unseal one after another—
In Diablo 2, obtaining a small charm with +7 to all skill levels through a modifier;
When playing RPGs, directly granting the protagonist’s entire team with divine gear;
When playing action games, allowing the controlled character to acquire actions or skills that required repeatedly clearing dungeons to unlock, early in the game…
Once one tried such things, there was no turning back. After a brief moment of euphoria, the game suddenly lost its fun… or rather, the pleasure that was originally obtained slowly was acquired and consumed too quickly in a short period, leaving no memorable memories.
A commonality in using game modifiers was that they made one feel stupid for having spent a long time grinding for resources and items in the past—yet at the time, one had felt happy because of that sense of accomplishment.
Was that happiness also foolish?
Yet he clearly remembered them being so vivid.
Even the glittering memories themselves became cheap.
“—I cannot accept the arbitrary alteration of my self-awareness.”
Eivass said seriously, “I always feel like I’ve made similar mistakes before… this feeling is annoying.”
Isabel suddenly seemed to sense something and raised her head to look at the sky.
There was clearly an empty ceiling there.
But for some reason, Isabel felt as if an eye was gazing at them from there. It was like Janis peeking at her from within a painting…
Not a single mistake, one phrase, one shot, one inside, one content, one at a time!
Dream Realm, Focal Point.
The Ring Heavenly Envoy, who had been intently watching Eivass in front of the display screen, curled the corners of his mouth upward.
A strand of silver thread was wrapped around the index finger of his left hand—it was a cluster of memories he had just extracted from his own mind.
Just now, through Eivass’s confirmation, he had found another fragment that could be identified as existing in reality—
To protect this memory and prevent it from being eroded by the Whisper of the Void, he had sent it into Eivass’s mind.
He had done this many times.
Each time, he proceeded with extreme caution.
It was like trying to rescue some files that had not been infected by a virus from a compromised computer and sending them to a backup machine. Unless he was certain that the memory was absolutely correct, he would never transmit it.
Of course, strictly speaking… it was not “transmission,” but rather an unlocking. They were the same person, like two computers in an internet café, both connected to the same database. And the Ring Heavenly Envoy had blocked Eivass’s individual access to “all of Little Ai’s” memories, which was why Eivass’s memories were so vague and fragmented.
—Any of his memories could be fabricated.
Because “memories” themselves were merely a form of thought. Only memories that Eivass also possessed could be confirmed as real.
“Even if he remembers nothing, he instinctively resists the Whisper of the Void…”
As expected of me—the Ring Heavenly Envoy should have had such a thought.
But his remaining emotions were now so indifferent that he couldn’t even utter such praise. He watched it all with a heart as calm as water. The entire world felt separated from him by a vast barrier—no one could understand him, just as he could not connect with anyone.
But then, a new thought arose in the Ring Heavenly Envoy’s mind:
If he were to keep separating his memories bit by bit and giving them to Eivass like this… who would be the main body?
Who was the true serpent? And who was the discarded serpent’s tail?
“Noisy.”
Watching Eivass completely destroy the Red-Hilted Sword under Haibasha’s guidance, the Ring Heavenly Envoy let out a slight sigh of relief and said calmly, “That kind of thing is completely irrelevant. What, are you in a hurry?”
The so-called Ouroboros… was a serpent that knew no head or tail.
—The serpent’s head is the serpent’s tail, and the serpent’s tail is the serpent’s head.
(End of this chapter)
