Chapter 16.4: [Ghoul] Drooling
[Ghoul] Drooling:
It’s rare for anyone to get close behind me without me noticing!
But this voice, it sounded like hearing your own voice when your ears are plugged, it felt exceptionally clear.
“Gluttony Hair?”
I reached behind my head, but I couldn’t feel that mouth, and my hair was still in its original condition.
Huh? What’s going on?
“Hahaha, didn’t I tell you? I’m you? This voice is also using your vocal cords.”
The hoarse voice let out an unpleasant laugh while speaking with an arrogant tone, and its voice surprisingly came from within my own body!
It wasn’t that I had never heard it make a sound before, but it was mostly hiccups. It had only spoken once or twice before, and those were just simple thoughts like ‘not tasty’ or ‘not enough to eat’. So I had once thought that Gluttony Hair didn’t have a complete consciousness, just existing to eat like I used to… I never expected Gluttony Hair to have its own will!
When Juncheng mentioned seeing Gluttony Hair speak before, I thought it was strange… Did it only recently become able to talk?
“You can speak so fluently!”
“Isn’t that obvious? Mouths aren’t just for eating, they’re for speaking too. Hahaha~”
“Then why didn’t you speak before?”
We’ve been together for hundreds of years, and you’re only speaking now! Don’t you think it’s too late!
“You’re so stupid. When you’re hungry, do you have time to speak? Your mouth is busy eating, how can you speak!
” …That makes some sense. So, are you finally full?”
“Hmph, only half full at most.”
“You have quite an appetite…
After hundreds of years of eating, you’re only half full? You eat even more than Nana.
Speaking of which, aren’t you growing on me? Why is your fullness separate from mine…
Knowing that no dangerous person was approaching, I relaxed my guard. It was also nice to have someone to talk to, to alleviate my loneliness…
After patting myself off and cleaning my clothes, I started moving. I didn’t want to stay in this desolate mountain forest anymore.
I’ll go back first. I’ll ask Nana later about a way to suppress my wicked appetite.
“Wicked? Heh! Ridiculous! What’s wicked or evil about appetite! You want to eat that kid called Juncheng An, isn’t that your keenest desire?”
“What are you talking about! Juncheng is my friend! How could I eat him!”
“Does being friends have anything to do with wanting to eat someone? You’re a ghoul, and he’s a zombie! Wanting to eat him is perfectly normal, isn’t it!”
“What nonsense is this hair of yours spouting!”
“Am I wrong!”
“You! I’ll shave my head bald tomorrow!”
“Hahaha, I’m afraid of you! Go shave yourself bald! At most, I’ll just disappear for a while, but you’ll be hated by your beloved friend Juncheng An! Oh my, a bald girl… But he’s so hypocritical, he’ll definitely force a smile and pat your bald head! Hahahaha!”
“Ugh…”
This hair! Why is it so infuriating to talk to!
It’s so annoying, their personality is terrible. Can we still have a pleasant conversation!
“Hey, and let me tell you, Kaoru Tsukiyose. It’s inevitable that you’d have the thought of wanting to eat him.”
“…How could something like this be inevitable…”
“You like Juncheng An, don’t you?”
“…Of course! Of course I like Juncheng!”
That’s right, I can proudly say “I like him,” and I like him the most! He’s the reason I am who I am today. This feeling is not just gratitude; I genuinely fell for him while spending time with him.
“Then, is there anything wrong with wanting to eat the thing you like the most to your heart’s content?”
“It’s completely different!”
“It’s not different… is it, Kaoru Tsukiyose? You clearly know that the line between appetite and lust is very thin.”
His words pierced my chest like sharp swords.
No matter how much I denied it… my actions towards Juncheng just now had completely exposed my desires. To explain further would be to slap myself in the face.
I couldn’t help but open my mouth and touch my tongue with my finger. It seemed like Juncheng’s taste still lingered on my tongue, and saliva began to flow uncontrollably.
‘I want to taste what he’s like too.’
‘It looks delicious… No!’
Suddenly snapping back to reality, I smacked my head hard, dispelling these thoughts.
What was I thinking!
I was actually captivated just by recalling Juncheng’s taste!
No! It’s not!
I’m not drooling over someone I like…
“Hahaha, see? I told you? This is your true thought!”
“No! It’s not! Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!”
I continued to shake my head, flinging my hair back and forth, desperately covering my ears, not wanting to hear this annoying voice say annoying things.
However, how could covering my ears possibly block out the voice emanating from my own body?
It just stopped talking. I walked alone on the deserted street, the world returning to silence.
Walking in silence, it was already past 1 AM when I returned to the apartment. I took out my key, opened the door, and walked in.
The living room lights were still on. Nana had been waiting for me until now…
Seeing me enter, she put down her phone and turned to look at me.
“You’re back really late. You didn’t have any work outside today, did you? Have you eaten? I’ll warm up some food for you.”
I, who am immortal, wouldn’t die even if I didn’t eat…
But why do I still feel hungry…
No more eating… I’m going to bed.
“Xun’er?”
I threw the thought of discussing it with Nana to the back of my mind. I wobbled back to my room, and as soon as I entered, I collapsed onto the bed.
I couldn’t forget that taste anymore.
That taste was incredibly sweet, making me want to…
The saliva produced was swallowed and swallowed, dripping down my esophagus.
I clutched my chest tightly. “Heart, stop beating!”
“It’s just like a girl in love.”
“…I told you to shut up.”
Burying my face in the pillow, I let out an unintelligible sound.
“Kaoru Tsukiyose, do you know? ‘Hunger’ doesn’t just refer to food; sometimes it’s used to describe the craving for love.”
“Huh? What are you talking about…”
Why did this guy suddenly become so serious…? He was just talking like a punk a moment ago, but now he’s changed to a serious tone.
Annoying, that tone sounds a bit like Juncheng’s…
“Loneliness is also a kind of hunger, a spiritual hunger for love.”
“You say I’m lonely? What a joke, I have many friends!”
“That’s just a facade. In reality, you’re still lonely because you’re afraid of losing them, just like your past friends.”
My past friends…
They all died…
My lifespan is too long for a human. I would definitely be sad about the loss of friends, so I started avoiding making human friends.
But in reality, I know that no matter who they are, human or not, we will eventually part ways. It’s just a matter of sooner or later.
“Hunger becomes fuel for desire. The more you suppress it, the more energy accumulates, eventually forming unimaginable destructive power. By then, the boundaries between emotions and desires will become increasingly ambiguous, and your mind will become clouded. When you can no longer distinguish between emotions and desires, you’ll be unable to resist eating everything you love, one by one. Perhaps you’ll save the person you love most, Juncheng An, for last, to be savored slowly. No, it will definitely become that way. Why, you ask…
…Because you are a [Ghoul].”
Devouring your beloved down to the bone is absolutely unforgivable and the worst kind of behavior.
It’s an incredibly selfish act where only I am satisfied.
But… a part of my heart feels like that might not be too bad… Something must have gone wrong with me…
“The pain and fear of loss cannot make people forget hunger, but eating everything can alleviate the soul’s pain.”
It chattered on, saying things that were hard to understand, but I could grasp its meaning.
Because if I eat them, I’ll feel like they’ll be with me forever, ‘We’ve already become one.’
This is a wrong idea, but I can’t help but want to…
“What exactly are you…”
Why come and shake me…
Why come and dig into my heart…
“Well, who knows? I don’t even know what I am. Anyway, I’ve been attached to you since I gained consciousness. But looking at me, I’m just a mouth, right? Just think of me as a liar trying to seduce you, hahaha~”
“Then you, a liar, have quite a silver tongue.”
“Hehe, thanks for the compliment~”
…However, I still don’t plan on eating my friends! Give up!
“Oh, don’t jump to conclusions. It’s not too late to decide after you’ve tasted it, is it?”
“Taste? How do I taste? You’re not suggesting I take a bite out of Juncheng, are you!”
Not to mention that doing so would only scare Juncheng, and I can’t guarantee I’d be able to control myself after one bite… Today, just seeing Juncheng’s intestines made me unable to control myself. If I ate one bite…
“No, you don’t need to bother him. Don’t you remember? A part of his body is with your host.”
Reminded by it, I suddenly remembered.
Because of Xue’er, Juncheng cut off a part of his body and gave it to Xue’er.
That…
“Left pinky finger!”
Once this thought arose, it could not be dispelled.
Just one bite… I really want to taste Juncheng.
My heart beats with my stomach, my emotions stimulate my appetite, and once my appetite surges, I can no longer control myself….
My mouth once again filled with saliva.
