Chapter 39: Purple Born From Blue, Deeper Than Blue
“I feel like I’m going to become useless—
I don’t know how much time has passed. It feels both impossibly long and fleeting, a paradox that has sharpened my senses.
Lan was sleeping in my arms. I gently shifted her, then carefully got out of bed. I’d repeated this action many times, and this time, I finally managed not to wake her.
If I woke her, she would cling to me again, and this cycle would repeat.
I had tried to separate from Lan multiple times before, but it was like being stuck in a spiderweb; no matter how much I struggled, I couldn’t break free.
Anyone would become lazy and good-for-nothing if they stayed in this environment for too long.
I felt my rationality evaporating, gradually becoming unable to think of anything, completely immersed in happiness, unable to extricate myself. My spirit was being devoured.
But I knew Lan wasn’t doing this to harm me. On the contrary, she genuinely cared for me, which was why she dedicated everything to me.
I just couldn’t resist the temptation and became numb.
This was truly terrifying—a soft approach that I couldn’t resist, a perfect honeypot scheme. It left me with no room to fight back.
What Lan desired was for ‘me to stay here forever.’
Although I had promised Lan that if no one reached out to me, I wouldn’t try to escape and would stay with her.
But if my spirit became so numb that I myself willingly gave up the idea of leaving, then…
Perhaps I would also give up voluntarily then. When people are taught, they form fixed ideas. After these fixed ideas are formed, when faced with unexpected situations, people will instinctively reject them.
It’s like the villagers in the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” When ‘fixed ideas’ influence one’s own concepts—
Therefore, I must stay clear-headed now.
I can’t continue like this.
Before, because of Lan’s work, she wasn’t in the room all the time, always giving me some time to recharge.
But now… Lan had locked herself in the room too.
When I was hungry, I would use the communication screen to contact ‘someone,’ and they would deliver food. It wasn’t just food; anything I wanted would be delivered immediately with a single command. Everyone else seemed to be Lan’s servants, demonstrating her powerful dominance.
It was as if this place had become the center of the world, and people from the outside world were—
How could I maintain my sense of self against such a perfect woman?
Severing emotional ties?
I got up from the bed, walked into the bathroom. I knew using the showerhead would wake Lan up again, making my efforts to clean myself a waste.
I used the wet towel to wipe my body, even skipping the step of wringing out the towel.
My dizzy head felt slightly better under the touch of the cold, wet towel.
I wasn’t ‘polluted.’
After wiping myself clean, I returned to the living room and put on my clothes. Fortunately, the clothes were still in the cabinet and hadn’t been used.
The room had become a mess, a true ‘love nest’ with traces of our intimacy everywhere. The familiar, strong smell began to drag me back into the abyss of instinct, as my body had been freshly cleaned.
No. I directly rejected my instincts.
I amplified my rationality, spreading it out.
I started tidying up the room.
After composing myself and getting dressed, I finally began cleaning up the mess and packing the trash. After considerable effort, I managed to restore the once unsightly room to its original state. I finally breathed a sigh of relief.
…
The air in here still wasn’t great.
However, even if I wanted some fresh air, there were no windows in this room.
There was a ventilation system, but turning it on would make a loud noise and wake Lan. Then all my efforts would be in vain.
So, the only option was to open the door for ventilation.
Lan was asleep now, so just opening the door should be fine.
Of course, it would be even better if I could “incidentally” gather some information about this place.
I walked to the door naturally and reached out. The moment my hand was about to grasp the doorknob, I felt time freeze.
No, not just time. It was only me!
No, that’s not right. A gaze, like countless needles piercing through my back, caused me to stiffen involuntarily.
What made me suddenly freeze was Lan’s gaze. I didn’t dare turn to look at her.
A drop of cold sweat trickled down my forehead. I already knew where that gaze was coming from—a creature that should be sleeping.
At this moment, Lan was definitely not the one I knew. She was a creature consumed by insane possessiveness.
So… she was awake? No, had she been faking sleep from the beginning?
This was terrible. I had made the wrong move. Lan must be on alert now.
What should I do?
What was the correct course of action?
… ‘Continue’ was the correct choice. I pretended not to notice, walked back to the room, and put on an innocent expression.
I forced myself to continue opening the door, but I didn’t step out. Instead, I stayed put, acting as if nothing had happened.
That gaze slowly receded. I looked back, and Lan was still ‘sleeping.’
It was clear I had almost walked into a dangerous situation, but after safely passing it, this might not be a bad opportunity.
At least Lan would pretend to be asleep until she figured out what I was up to, and I would have time to make this place unsuitable for continuing such activities. Then, I could wake her up, pull her out of this ruined life, and restore her sanity.
And what do I need to do? It’s simple: stop this intense feeling of being in a ‘love nest,’ that is, the atmosphere of a family. Therefore, what’s needed is to transform this passionate love into warm affection.
So, after making all the necessary preparations, I called out to Lan.
Lan cooperatively got out of bed, then looked up with closed eyes, expecting a kiss.
I just kissed her forehead and said, “Alright, stop being clingy. We’ve been indulging for how many days? It’s time to get up.”
“What’s the difference? No one will disturb us anyway~ No matter how long it continues, no matter how many more times, it’s all up to you, Hoo~”
Lan’s reaction was like she had dependency syndrome. Her yandere traits were becoming increasingly apparent, and she had completely fallen into depravity.
“We can’t keep living like this forever. My brain feels like it’s melting. Our lives are already detached from common sense. We can’t live like this. It’s like Adam and Eve in Eden, just making babies because they have nothing else to do. My workload has increased significantly.”
“However, there are already too many humans now. They don’t need us anymore.” I picked her up, carried her to the bathroom, and placed her in the bathtub before starting to fill it.
As the cold water touched Lan’s feet and hips, she shivered slightly and said in a pained voice, “Ugh~ It’s so cold~ Juncheng, you’re so mean~”
“Are you a bit more awake now? Adjust the water to your liking. I’ll go make something to eat.”
This time, she didn’t try to force me to stay, which was a relief. It seemed the progress was going smoothly.
This time, it wasn’t just through physical communication. Words were used. The scene of just directly getting down to business without saying a word was finally over.
Leaving the bathroom, I first prepared Lan’s clothes. Of course, all the provocative, revealing, and flashy ones were excluded. In the end, I found out Lan had no clothes to wear.
I had no choice but to put my shirt and pants in the locker room.
Then, I prepared to make dinner. That is to say, there was hardly any fresh food left at home, only some rice and various canned goods.
In the manga I had read, people often cooked with canned food. I decided to search and try to make a meal with these cans.
The final result actually looked quite presentable.
Perhaps my cooking talent was decent. The final dish looked quite appetizing.
I looked back and saw Lan had finished washing up and was sitting at the dining table wearing my shirt, holding a plate of food.
Of course, she was just admiring it… I had expected this. It was still better than having nothing to do. The temptation hadn’t reached the point where I would rush up and push her down.
“Wow, there wasn’t much at home, so I just made something simple. Please bear with it for now. I’ll buy some ingredients tomorrow and make you something else.”
“As long as it’s made by Juncheng, I’ll eat anything.”
“Your standards are really low.”
“Of course, what I want to eat the most is Juncheng~”
“We can talk flirtatiously later. I’m seriously asking for your opinion now. Even if it’s just the taste, is there anything you particularly want to eat?”
Seeing my serious expression, Lan stopped joking. She pondered for a moment, then said, “Something sour. I know.”
Thinking about it… could this be a sign of pregnancy?
I stumbled, almost falling, and looked back at Lan in surprise.
“Really? Really? Are you really pregnant?”
“Because, you know, we’ve done it so many times. I should be pregnant by now, right?”
… Based on the frequency, it would be strange if I *wasn’t* pregnant.
After all, no condoms were used, and no birth control pills were taken, for so many days.
Am I really pregnant?
Am I going to be a father?
I didn’t feel this way when I was raising Xiao An, but I suddenly felt flustered now.
“I just don’t know if it’s possible to have children in this world~”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
Instead, Lan looked at me with a strange expression.
“Huh? Juncheng, you don’t know yet?”
“Ah? Know what?”
When I replied again, Lan wore a thoughtful expression. After half a minute of thinking, she continued.
“…So, that’s how it is.”
“What’s wrong? What do you know?”
I had a feeling that what Lan understood now was extremely important to me!
If possible, I wanted to understand clearly!
“Juncheng, do you know how I came to this world?”
“Uh, how you came to this world—I don’t know.”
I had never really investigated it. Could there be something fishy going on? Why would Lan know about me being a singer? Did our memories merge?
“Zi Hua sent me here. That ‘spirit’ that appeared…”
“Zi Hua? You mean that… *cough*, the spirit you split off, appeared like a ghost in front of her, but I couldn’t see it.”
Lan had mentioned before that there was someone identical to her named Zi Hua. At first, Lan could only see her, so I concluded that Zi Hua was a spirit born from Lan’s mind, just like Ruansui.
But now it was different. Lan shook her head and denied it.
“She’s not a spirit I split off. In fact, her spirit is even more complete than mine.”
“What do you mean?”
“Juncheng, the reason you and others can’t see her is because she has no body and no soul; she cannot appear in this world. But her spirit exists completely. So, it’s not that I can see her, but rather I can ‘perceive’ her, as she already exists.”
“Huh?”
I was getting more confused. What did that mean? A spirit born from me, but she already existed? Where did she come from?
“Zi Hua… she is me.”
“Zi Hua is you? But you said she wasn’t a spirit you split off?”
‘My body is decaying, my soul scattered, but my spirit… In the near future, I will face death. The me who died after that… did not dissipate. And with my abnormal ability to rewind time, I returned from the future to the present.”
Lan managed a weak smile, a smile that was tragically beautiful and sorrowful.
“Zi Hua is me. The me who died in the future.”
