Chapter 48.3 [Yuhui Bai] Part One
“Another… dream?
This dream felt as if it had happened before, like a real dream.
In the dream, I was also troubled by dreaming, and the situation was even worse than mine. Sometimes during the day, I would suddenly fall into a dream and have a much longer one than mine.
Although I don’t know what the me in the dream was dreaming about.
This feeling is truly strange.
Dreaming that I was dreaming in my sleep sounds like there’s no problem, but upon closer thought, the problem can be found.
It’s like the famous philosophical question: Zhuang Zhou dreamed he turned into a butterfly. He suddenly woke up, in a state of panic. Was it Zhuang Zhou who turned into a butterfly in his dream, or a butterfly that turned into Zhuang Zhou in its dream?
I am now in the same predicament.
Did I dream of another me, or did “she” dream of me…
Which one is the dream…
I hate this ambiguous feeling, and it plunges me into fear. Am I… actually fake?
Perhaps some people would think I’m overthinking it. How could something like this happen in reality, something that only happens in sci-fi horror movies?
If it really happened, not only would I be fake, but my parents, other people, and even this world could be fake… How is that possible?
But in fact, if it only happened once or twice, I wouldn’t have this thought.
However, this dream that feels like déjà vu has happened many times…
Rather, it happens every time I fall asleep.
If every time you dream, you dream that the you in the dream is also sleeping and dreaming, anyone would feel horrified.
After washing my face, my drowsy brain regained clarity, and only then did I gain some sense of my own existence.
After wiping off the water splashes on the mirror, I looked at myself in the mirror and zoned out.
I don’t even know who I was talking about when I blurted it out, and I felt suspicious myself… strange.
What’s wrong with me… I’m really losing it.
Military training is over, and my body and mind should have had enough rest.
Besides, my stamina isn’t that bad. I shouldn’t be so exhausted after a few days of military training that my mind goes haywire.
…Perhaps I really should see a psychologist.
The only thing worth mentioning recently is that I’ve made quite a few friends. During high school, my parents moved to another city to provide me with a better environment. I only moved back after getting into college.
On the first day of reporting, I met a man who seemed to be hitting on me… Later, I found out he was actually a good person.
And toward him, Juncheng An, I felt a special sense of closeness.
Walking beside him felt natural, conversations flowed; there was no awkwardness when not talking, a very comfortable feeling. Generally speaking, anyone would think I’ve fallen in love with him, right?
…I don’t think it’s love at first sight.
But undoubtedly, my inner defenses were practically non-existent against him. Just by spending time together, I completely trusted him.
Alright, it does sound a bit like infatuation.
But honestly, Juncheng An’s external conditions weren’t particularly attractive. His appearance was an 80, his personality a 90… He might be excellent, but he gave me the feeling of ‘I can find someone better.’
But I’m willing to approach him… Why?
Confusion, incomprehension, baffling.
An ordinary girl might not care about such small things and would think that if you like someone, just go for it. But I can’t ignore this process.
The main thing is that my good feelings toward him are inexplicable. Even in romance visual novels, you need a certain number of events to increase the affection points of the target character. But with us, we just met, went to report together, then met a few more times, and then I developed feelings for him… Where are the events?
It’s simply bizarre, okay?
When I’m with him, I don’t overthink things. I feel physically and mentally pleased, and my mood improves greatly.
It’s as if Juncheng An is a spring that restores HP. As long as I’m by his side, I can get energy replenishment.
Could this be mental mana replenishment?
Or is Juncheng An honest and kind on the outside, but actually a cruel scumbag who can hypnotize, suggest, and manipulate people?
No, I can’t judge his character so easily. Although there’s a saying that you know a person’s face but not their heart, I genuinely don’t believe Juncheng An is worse than an animal…
Right!!! It’s this kind of situation where I suddenly start explaining and making excuses for him!
Am I an idiot!
Why am I making excuses for him after suspecting him!
How deeply have I been poisoned that I unconsciously lean towards him, not even caring about myself!
And the most terrifying thing is, sometimes when I call him, I blurt out ‘Lord Juncheng’…
What the heck!!!
This is too terrible, too embarrassing, too scary!
What era is this? Why am I suddenly using such a title? Do I think I’m an ancient maid? Then I should call him ‘Master’! Do I have to wear a maid outfit now!
“Ahhh… ahh-”
I buried my head in the pillow, groaning and rubbing my head against the pillow to forget that embarrassing feeling.
But at this time, I have to be careful not to think about Juncheng An anymore. As soon as I start thinking about him, I… I feel that, although calling him ‘Lord Juncheng’ is a bit embarrassing, it’s justified. He has the right… Like a ghost!
That’s how it is, I’ll deviate from myself and think centered around him again.
Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think! I don’t want to think about him anymore!
“Miss Bai is having a fit again.”
I suddenly looked up and yelled at my roommate who was making sarcastic remarks.
“I’m not infatuated!”
The other party just rolled her eyes dismissively, picked her toes, and said.
“Tsk, still denying it? We saw your expression when you met your dream lover at the cafeteria last time. Your face was blooming with joy!”
“That’s not my true feeling! I don’t want to be like that, but I can’t help it when I see him! Do you understand the difference?”
“Women in love are truly irrational, completely illogical.”
That makes perfect sense. I can’t refute it at all… As if! Who’s in love! So, only I can understand what’s going on. Others can’t understand my complex and contradictory feelings at all!
Ahhhhh!
Juncheng An, who exactly are you! Why do I care so much about you!
What am I doing…
I tossed and turned on the bed for a long time, feeling even more tired. This can’t go on. I decided to go out for some fresh air to clear my head.
I changed my clothes and left the dormitory. On campus… quite a few boys tried to hit on me, ruining my mood for a walk.
So I walked around the medical school building, through the island behind the mountain, all the way to the pavilion. No one bothers me here. Although there are many couples meeting here… I’ll just pretend not to see them.
Moreover, walking in a place full of dog food can effectively prevent me from thinking in that direction. By treating these couples as objects of self-reflection, the thought of not wanting to become as silly as them will naturally arise in my heart, thereby counteracting my feelings for Juncheng An and gaining a bit of rationality.
First, I need to confirm the relationship. I recalled my life up to this point and confirmed that I had absolutely never met Juncheng An before. However, it’s worth mentioning that Juncheng An bears some resemblance to Sister Zi’ai. Not only do they share the same surname, but Juncheng An is also very familiar with Keling… Could Juncheng An be a relative of Sister Zi’ai and the others?
Then maybe I met him when I was young… No, I still don’t think so. No matter how I think about it, I have no memory of meeting him, unless I have amnesia.
Then, naturally, there wouldn’t be any “we were childhood sweethearts, but we were separated due to family reasons or a change in work.”
Since I’ve ruled out the “childhood sweetheart scenario,” I need to consider the causality next.
Is there any trigger for me to care so much about Juncheng An… I still can’t find anything. No matter how I think about it, there’s nothing that can be called a Flag.
Then I have to approach it from another angle. Have I had anything special in this period of time… Ah!
Right, that dream I’ve been having for years!
That strange dream that keeps repeating. But connecting it with a dream, is it really reliable?
In the end, I can only resort to mystical reasoning… But sometimes, you just have to believe in these things.
That dream… Wait a minute, could my feelings for Juncheng An actually be from the me in the dream?!
But only this explanation is the most… reasonable.
But if that’s the case, is the me in the dream not just a creation of the dream, but actually… real?
No, in the end, there’s no way to prove that she’s fake and I’m real.
There’s also no way to prove that this world is real…
No. It’s really that kind of sci-fi thing….
“That’s enough, Yuhui Bai.”
A voice came from behind. Turning around quickly, I saw a black-haired girl wearing a black, form-fitting outfit, blending into the darkness.
And after seeing her appearance clearly, I trembled uncontrollably.
H-how…
It’s actually
“Sister Zi’ai!”
It’s Sister Zi’ai, the eldest sister of the An family, Zi’ai An, no doubt.
She’s been missing for a long time, with no news. Why would she suddenly appear at the university… Could it be that she’s always been here?
“As expected of someone who has gone through nine reincarnations. Even a mere copied mental body can sense this much… In that case, the mental body of the succubus who can freely enter dreams might also exceed the ‘script setting.’ This is troublesome…”
Script setting?!
SF Light Novel
What is she saying…
Hey, could it be that this world is really…
“You know too much, Yuhui Bai. I have to make you forget some things now.”
Her cold words carried no emotion. She wasn’t the Sister Zi’ai I knew, just another being who looked exactly like her! Perhaps she’s from there, just like the me in my dream!
I turned and ran. I must escape from her immediately!
Otherwise, my memories will be erased… I don’t want that!
I want to gain freedom!
(Sorry, I’ll take over here. Otherwise, it won’t be as simple as erasing memories.)
Then it’s my turn, the butterfly dancing in the flames, the great Sengoku lady, Nōhime, makes her entrance~
After all, this is Xiao Yuhui’s mental body. In the future, these memories might have to return to the main body. Of course, I have to protect them.
Ha~ No… It’s been a while since I appeared like this~
“Hmm~ How should I greet people in this era? Aloha? Hello?”
…Why are you here? She violated the rules and needs to have her memory erased.”
“This world has never set any rules. Even the God who created this world hasn’t set any rules. How can you outsiders dictate things?”
…..
Oh dear, this killing intent, is she angry? A hero is a hero. It’s wise to compromise at this moment~
I suddenly smiled and said in a relaxed tone.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’ll make her forget. You don’t have to worry about it.”
“Next time she has the idea of deviating from the rules, she will be ‘destroyed and rebuilt’… If you interfere, I will make you disappear forever.”
“Heh heh, I already ceased to exist. How can I disappear?”
…Next time, I won’t waste words.”
The girl in black slipped into the darkness, her figure disappearing.
Heh heh, has the blank soul found its meaning of existence?
However, whether this meaning is to fulfill his wish or her own wish is unclear.
“So… ridiculous.”
