Chapter 31: A Date with My Girlfriend
“Ara, you’re quick. I thought Jun Cheng would come at nine, or not at all.”
“I won’t waste time on transportation.”
If anything, the most wasteful thing in a person’s life is ‘transportation.’ It takes up a small portion of one’s limited lifespan just to reach a certain place with no substantial meaning. If everyone could teleport or had a spatial gate, they could save a lot of time for other activities.
“Hehehe~ Jun Cheng is the type of person who can’t enjoy traveling properly.”
“Yes, yes, I prefer to stay home.”
I rolled my eyes and sat down opposite Ji Lianbing.
A commotion rose around us.
Listening closely, I could hear murmurs like, ‘Oh, the person the beautiful girl was waiting for has finally arrived!’ ‘Is that her boyfriend? It’s such a waste for someone so beautiful to be with him! It’s like a fresh flower stuck in cow dung!’ ‘Making a girl wait, how ungentlemanly.’ ‘And he has such a scowl. How did this person even get a girlfriend like that? The chance is smaller than winning the lottery!’
It was the same reaction as in the cafeteria. As expected, wherever Ji Lianbing appears, she becomes the center of attention.
Public opinion was completely on Ji Lianbing’s side, an expected reaction. Beautiful girls are always more popular than a loser like me.
The waiter, however, calmly approached and asked me in a steady tone.
“Welcome. What would you like to order?”
“A glass of hot milk.”
“…Okay.”
The waitress gave me a speechless look and then asked Ji Lianbing if she wanted a refill. Ji Lianbing changed her order to a different coffee and also ordered a slice of cheesecake.
As for me, I sat there like an immovable Buddha statue, radiating an aggressive aura, my eyes practically spitting fire.
“You don’t look like you’re in a good mood. Did someone toy with you?”
“It was you!”
“Nonsense! It’s because you, this guy, deceived my feelings!”
Ji Lianbing casually brushed past my anger and said with an indifferent attitude.
“Ara, there isn’t a single lie in my text message. You were the one who misunderstood it.”
“…Tsk.”
Alright, I’m in the wrong. I can’t argue with her.
This time, I was indeed too impulsive. As soon as I heard ‘maid cafe,’ I got excited without thinking.
I can’t blame anyone for this. I just didn’t consider it properly.
“So, what do you want to talk to me about?”
“Honestly, Jun Cheng, you still haven’t called me by my name properly. Call me Lianbing.”
Ji Lianbing puffed out her cheeks with a hint of dissatisfaction, suddenly bringing up the matter of names.
I raised an eyebrow, wearing a strange expression.
“You’re saying that, but don’t you always get my name backward?”
“That’s my way of showing affection!”
“Then this is my way of showing that we are inseparable.”
I rarely called Ji Lianbing by her name. I usually used ‘you,’ ‘hey,’ or ‘this guy.’ That’s right, I used the same way Xinran used to address me on Ji Lianbing.
Let you feel my indifference (referring to Xinran’s)!
“You can call Teacher Yang by her name, but you can’t even say your girlfriend’s name? Or is there something going on between you and Teacher Yang…”
I was once again impressed by Ji Lianbing’s powerful information network. Miss Shirley, who exactly are you… How can you investigate private information to this extent? This is practically spy-level intelligence gathering ability!
I wonder how much she knows. She couldn’t possibly know that Lily is actually a succubus, right?
Well… that’s unlikely. The illusion she has should be impossible for an ordinary person to see through.
If that’s the case, I shouldn’t reveal too much information to her.
“That’s because the teacher and I are very close. Like Teacher Xiaozhen, I call her by her name too.”
“Then you should call me by my name even more, since I’m Jun Cheng’s girlfriend!”
If I don’t satisfy her, the conversation seems to stall… Fine.
I took a deep breath and was about to say ‘Lianbing’ when Ji Lianbing suddenly spoke, cutting me off.
“Come on~ Try saying ‘I love Lianbing so much I could die’.”
“The difficulty suddenly increased?! And you added your own desires into it!”
“You have to add ‘My Lianbing is the cutest!’ at the end of every sentence.”
“That’s enough! My Lianbing is the cutest! Huh?”
“Hehehehe~”
So, in the end, you were just toying with me!
Just then, the waitress brought the things we ordered.
“Please enjoy.”
Throughout the entire process, the waitress kept staring at me as if I were some rare animal… Is it really that serious?
“Honestly…”
I somewhat impatiently brought the milk to my lips, but then Ji Lianbing suddenly leaned in, covered her mouth with her hand, and whispered mysteriously.
“Jun Cheng, I’m not wearing anything today.”
“Pfft!”
I spat out all the milk in my mouth, spraying it all over Ji Lianbing’s face which was right in front of me! Most of the milk splashed on her face and hair, with a small portion dripping down her chin and onto her neck.
“…”
Damn it!
What was she saying all of sudden!
No, wait, does this mean I’m dead for sure!
I remembered how she looked at me with killing intent during lunch the day before yesterday… She’s definitely going to kill me this time!
This isn’t my fault! Who told you to say something like that! I’m innocent, the passive party!
I thought I was doomed this time, but Ji Lianbing didn’t get angry. The color of her title didn’t turn red; instead, her cheeks did.
She put on a shy expression, covered her face, and closed her eyes bashfully, saying.
“Oh my, I’m covered in Jun Cheng’s milk~”
A gasp went through the surrounding area.
“Ugh…!”
This woman…!
With her saying that, it does look a bit like… like that…
Ji Lianbing scraped the milk off her face with her finger and brought it to her mouth, meticulously licking her finger, not even sparing her fingernails… I have to say, seeing this really stirred up desires and impure thoughts.
This woman is more like a succubus than Lily, the real succubus.
“Right now, Jun Cheng must be consumed with the thought of pushing me onto the bed and doing whatever he wants to me, how lewd~ Hehehe~”
“What kind of monkey is that? I’ve evolved into a higher animal.”
Ji Lianbing mumbled, “Is that really true~?” with a doubtful expression and stood up.
At first, I thought she was leaving or going to the restroom to dry her hair, but I didn’t expect her to only take three steps after standing up!
“La la la~”
She suddenly plopped into my lap, startling me. I hurriedly spread my legs and leaned back against the chair.
There were constant murmurs of surprise.
See, even the waitress who was about to bring a handkerchief is shocked. Don’t do such attention-grabbing things! Everyone is staring at us!
“Don’t sit on me, this is a single seat, right? Sit opposite me properly!”
Ji Lianbing ignored my protest, grabbed both my arms, and pressed them against her chest, rocking back and forth like rowing a boat.
“Rock-a-bye baby~ Rocked all the way to Grandma’s house~”
“Hey, wait, stop! Don’t shake anymore! My brain is trembling!”
Ji Lianbing seemed to find it amusing, laughing “Hehehehe~” as she transferred the milk from her hair onto me and said.
“You’re thinking too much. As punishment, you have to recite the Heart Sutra.”
“I only know that one line, ‘Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.’ You can’t make me recite anything else even if you kill me.”
“Actually, ‘form’ in that sentence doesn’t refer to female beauty, so it doesn’t mean abstaining from lust.”
“Why are you suddenly spouting that kind of trivia! And if it doesn’t mean that, why are you making me recite a Buddhist scripture!?”
Only an idiot can recite that entire thing!
After lingering in my arms for a while, wiping off all the milk from her hair and face, she returned to her seat.
So she was using me as a towel… And I even wore relatively decent clothes…
“My hair feels sticky and uncomfortable.”
Phew… She’s finally back in her seat!
That short while felt as if the Grim Reaper’s scythe was at my neck…
Perhaps the psychological trauma from Ji Lianbing trying to kill me has left a significant shadow. So every time she gets close to me, especially when her body touches me, I feel uneasy and my heart beats faster.
Of course, that’s definitely not a sign of affection, it’s a reaction of fear!
Ji Lianbing took a sip of her coffee and started eating her cheesecake. After a couple of bites, she suddenly remembered something and said.
“Oh right, when I fed you something yesterday, that poker-faced guy interrupted me. Let’s try again.”
I looked at Ji Lianbing teasingly, remaining silent. Did she think I would be stupid enough to fall for the same trick twice?
“What’s wrong? Worried I might have poisoned it? Then how about this…”
Ji Lianbing brought that bite of cake into her own mouth and held it for a while. Then, very deliberately, she stuck out her moist red tongue and licked the fork clean.
After coating the entire fork with her saliva, she picked up another piece of cake and brought it towards my mouth, saying.
“Ahhh~”
I pursed my lips, still not buying it.
“This won’t do either…”
Ji Lianbing lowered her head with a hint of disappointment, revealing a heartbreaking expression… The titles of some nearby customers instantly turned gray and black, casting jealous and resentful glares at me.
Hmph, you superficial people, you don’t understand Ji Lianbing’s true nature! This woman can instantly switch from crying to laughing, control her emotions at will, and manipulate people’s hearts. She is a truly devilish woman!
“In that case…”
“Hmm?”
Ji Lianbing slightly raised her head, closed her left eye, and rubbed her right eye with her left index finger.
Then, her titles flickered and changed!
The title 【Jun Cheng Type Girlfriend】 reappeared before my eyes! Ji Lianbing! You can even switch personalities freely now! What a terrifying woman!
“Jun Cheng…”
Her timid demeanor. That’s right, it’s ‘Ruansui’! (Weak Ji Lianbing, abbreviated as Ruansui).
“Can I feed you something?”
She cautiously picked up the fork again. Seeing her saliva on the fork, she blushed and flusteredly ate it herself. Then, she picked up another piece and brought it towards my mouth.
I ate it in one bitewithout hesitation.
She beamed with a happy and satisfied smile.
“…”
Unlike when I’m with Ji Lianbing, I became a bit sluggish, my brain a little slow, my thoughts blocked. To put it bluntly, I was dumbfounded (beep).
For some reason, facing Ruansui, I found myself unable to say much.
The time that followed, I don’t even know how I spent it. It felt like looking at a distant view, a blurry, indistinct memory.
It was probably… a very ordinary date.
Ruansui happily held my hand as we strolled, and she even diligently picked out a pair of non-prescription glasses for me.
We had lunch together, watched a movie together, and took photo booth pictures together.
Just like… ordinary couples.
As a result, we didn’t discuss any important matters all day, and I couldn’t get anything out of Ji Lianbing in her Ruansui state.
Honestly, what’s going on…
“I had a great time today, Jun Cheng.”
“Ah, me too…”
Finally, by a park, our date ended. Her family’s luxury car and Miss Shirley were already waiting at the exit.
I guess they were tracking and monitoring us the whole time during the date. I vaguely felt many eyes on us, but I just didn’t know their exact locations.
It seems that ever since I gained the ability to see people’s titles, my danger-sensing ability has also improved a lot.
“Then, Jun Cheng, finally… I want…”
Ruansui tilted her head slightly towards me, closed her eyes, and pouted her lips gently. The setting sun and the blush on her face created a stunning scene.
It was obvious she wanted me to kiss her.
Kiss her? Or not kiss her? She’s my girlfriend, but this is a fake relationship, and her true goal is to kill me and take my corpse…
“Jun Cheng…?”
Her voice, tinged with a hint of unease, reached my ears. As I hesitated, her heart must have been sinking too.
Tsk, why are you struggling, Jun Cheng An! You don’t have a choice phobia, so why are you being indecisive!
Just as I made up my mind to respond to her… I was suddenly alarmed!
A killing intent!
And this sudden killing intent didn’t come from Ruansui!
I looked around in alarm, but saw no one else. Miss Shirley’s title was green; the killing intent couldn’t have come from her.
“What’s wrong? Jun Cheng?”
“It’s nothing. I just suddenly felt a chill down my spine… It’s probably nothing.”
“Then…”
I scratched my cheek. Being interrupted like this deflated my resolve. In the end, I only kissed her forehead.
But Ruansui still looked very happy, blushing and stroking her forehead, chuckling “Hehehehe~”.
“She’s satisfied, but I’m not yet, Jun Cheng~”
“What? Ugh!”
Her tone suddenly changed, and before I could react, my collar was pulled, and my teeth clacked together with a crisp sound.
Ah! It hurts!
My lips were bitten, and I started bleeding.
I quickly pushed her away and covered my mouth.
“Ugh!”
“Hehehehehe~”
Ji Lianbing, who had reverted to the 【Necrophiliac Killer】, looked at me with a sinister smile and let out her signature four-stage laugh.
“I want you more and more, Jun Cheng~”
She smeared my blood on her lips, her eyes like a hunter’s gaze fixed on its prey.
“Well then, I’ll give you a reward for spending the day with me. Watch closely, don’t blink, okay?”
Ji Lianbing slowly lifted her skirt with both hands…
The evening breeze blew, and the sunset’s rays struck my face, making it shimmer with that hint of light. Miss Shirley nearby covered her mouth in slight surprise, and the masked maid in the driver’s seat pulled down her mask, her face filled with astonishment.
My brain had been completely formatted.
The only file left in my blank brain was the image file of that scene. I think I won’t delete this photo even when I die.
Ji Lianbing, she really wasn’t wearing anything!
