Chapter 67: Bodily Exchange
I am Juncheng An, an unfortunate person.
Up until now, I have endured many unreasonable predicaments and navigated countless Shura Fields.
After experiencing so much, my heart has become tempered, making me feel like there’s nothing left to fear.
However, I am now facing the biggest crisis in history, an emotional one.
Perhaps someone has experienced being caught cheating by their wife. So… has anyone ever been caught cheating by their entire harem at once?
In that instant, I felt as if time, my blood, and the surface of my skin all froze.
From the plot progression of the famous Game of Thrones, one clear conclusion can be drawn: people always need a common enemy to unite.
I believe my harem has never been this united before, because… I am that common enemy…
I estimate that each of them wants to ‘take something’ from me. Each of them has ‘turned to ice,’ and in their eyes, I am likely just broken into pieces.
The collective killing intent is higher than the sky.
Inside, I have shrunk into the corner of my mental fortress, trembling.
Lianbing, Ice Wife, Lean Maid, help! Save your husband, your master…
I turned my head 45 degrees, tears welling up in my eyes. Lianbing looked at me and smiled, raising her right hand, palm facing me, just like the first smiley face in QQ’s default emoji pack. It felt like it carried an implicit meaning of ‘good luck to you.’
Lianbing! Ahhh!
On the other side, Xu Jiaojiao also heard my voice and noticed my presence. My last hope was that she would forget about insignificant people like me.
Unfortunately, she seems to still recognize me. She strode proudly towards me, tilted her head up like an arrogant swan, and pointed at me, saying:
“Servant! You’re too late! As my servant, you arrived even later than me. You’re disqualified!”
“Yes, I’m terribly sorry! Lady Jiaojiao!”
I forced a smile, squeezing out the words like toothpaste. If I didn’t have to keep acting, I might have burst into tears.
The other men, seeing that I alone was favored by the ‘goddess,’ all shot envious, jealous, and hateful glances my way. But all of them combined couldn’t compare to the women who could kill me with just their eyes.
“Alright, hold my bag and come with me to the principal’s office.”
“Oh…”
“Hmm? What? You don’t want to?”
“Not at all! I’m more than happy to serve you!”
What I’m actually more concerned about is what’s happening on the other side. Xinran and Keling have already walked over to Lianbing, and the others are also gathering there.
They’re huddled together, whispering… I’m very curious about what they’re discussing, but there are too many people and it’s too noisy to hear clearly.
Could they be discussing distribution? Like, you get the eyeballs, I get the hands, happily dismembering the scum of the earth, everyone getting a piece of the pie, because cake is tastier when shared…
I can’t stop this thought because it might actually become reality.
But for now, I still need to take care of the ancestor here… Oh God, Lou Ling, could you give me a blessing?
Uh, wait, that statement is a bit problematic.
I suddenly realized that it seems I’ve drawn many death flags today… As a man whose name contains ‘Cheng,’ I suddenly feel the shadow of death drawing closer to me.
No, what am I saying closer? Death is living in my house now, and even became my maid.
No, what the hell am I thinking…
“Alright, this is far enough.”
Huh?
Xu Jiaojiao, who was following me, stopped abruptly.
I snapped back to reality and looked around. We weren’t at the principal’s office yet…
But what’s even stranger is that Xu Jiaojiao’s attitude has changed completely, her expression entirely different from before.
Although she might be faking being cute, she was smiling just now. Now, her face is full of impatience, annoyance, and disdain.
“Hey, I’m feeling a bit stuffy. Take me somewhere I can get some fresh air.”
As she spoke, she hooked her collar and tugged, revealing a large expanse of snow-white… Her chest is really flat.
It feels like she’s suddenly become so casual. It’s like… an idol on stage, beloved and admired, but revealing her true nature once she’s back in the dressing room.
In short, I’m feeling a bit lost right now, or should I say, I don’t understand the situation…
I never genuinely fell for this Xu Jiaojiao in the first place, so there’s no particular sense of disillusionment. But this feels like a test of my authenticity.
What would be the psychological reaction of a fan in this situation? Should I act disappointed? Or should I continue to pretend, ‘No matter what you’re like, I still love you’?
I thought for a moment and chose the latter. I’ll go along with her request for now.
“Okay, there’s a pavilion nearby. How about we go there for some fresh air?”
“Lead the way.”
And so, as the school bell rang, I led Xu Jiaojiao to the pavilion.
As soon as we arrived, she let out a sigh, casually sat down, crossed her legs, and looked at me with one eye half-closed, saying:
“Can you please be more professional? You’ve been spaced out the entire way. While it could be interpreted as being stunned, at least keep your gaze on me, okay?”
Did she… notice?
No, she might just be suspicious. This attitude could also be a ‘performance,’ just like mine.
Are we both acting for each other? Since it’s a psychological battle, I should play dumb for now.
So, I was preparing to utter my go-to line again, ‘I don’t understand what you’re saying.’ Right, I must remember to use polite language.
However… the conjunction ‘however.’
Today, Xu Jiaojiao hasn’t acted according to my expectations even once. Before I could even say the sentence, Xu Jiaojiao spoke first, asking a question with no informative content but enough to completely shatter her image and leave me dumbfounded.
“Hey, do you smoke?”
……? ?
I couldn’t even utter fillers like ‘What?’ ‘Huh?’ ‘Eh?’ My face was full of question marks.
However… yes, still ‘however.’
Xu Jiaojiao wore the same confused expression as me.
“Huh? Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost? How strange.”
Then, she took out a pack of cigarettes from her skirt pocket, skillfully flicked one out, and put it between her lips. She pulled out a lighter from her other pocket and lit the tip.
Whoa, she’s actually smoking…
She isn’t testing me. She’s genuinely asking me, ‘Do you smoke?’
What the hell!
I’m completely at a loss for words now. I can’t maintain my expression and look vacant.
Xu Jiaojiao, meanwhile, took a puff of her cigarette and looked at me smugly.
“Don’t treat me like an idiot… *puff* You weren’t affected from the beginning, were you?”
So I was discovered. When? Since when? Did she see through me from that first glance?
“Haha, you’re wondering when I saw through you, right? Isn’t that obvious? Of course, it was from the very beginning. You reacted pretty quickly, but your acting is terrible.”
I see. So she saw through me then, but still went along with my act.
“And your eyes are different from theirs. How many men have I seduced, do you think?”
Well, I thought she was an idiot back then. Now I finally know that flat-chested people have high IQs.
It seems this is the real Xu Jiaojiao now. Everything she did in front of everyone was an act.
“You pretended to like me because you wanted to use me for something.”
“I…”
“Hmph, no need to explain. I’m just using you anyway. Since that’s the case, there’s no need to reveal each other’s objectives, right? After all, we’re not companions, neither in terms of our positions nor our identities.”
Positions… identities…
Did she even guess that I’m the Master of Fate?
“I must say, you really can’t hide anything. It’s all written on your face. Just like your name, truly ‘jian shi’ (realistic/honest).”
So she knows I’m using a fake name too. Maybe she’s known me from the start.
“It’s obvious. A man who can’t be influenced by me is 100% the Master of Fate. Of course, they could also be a lesbian.”
“Impressive… No wonder you could captivate so many men. Your mental fortitude is beyond ordinary people.”
“Pfft, that’s not because I wanted to seduce them. Those disgusting men were just drawn to me, okay? I never actively seduced them. In the end, it’s all this damn passive halo.”
“Huh? But it felt like you were enjoying it…”
“Are you kidding me! Who would enjoy that kind of environment! It’s disgusting! If it were beautiful girls, maybe… What’s so fun about a bunch of stinky men? Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!”
She spat out her tongue several times, then extinguished the cigarette butt with her foot, crushing it fiercely. Her disgust seemed genuine.
But beautiful girls… So she’s a lesbian after all…
“So you’re a lesbian.”
I blurted it out.
Hearing this, Xu Jiaojiao looked more confused than ever, looking at me like I was an idiot.
“Huh?! What are you saying?… Wait, hold on, you don’t mean… Hahahaha! Hahahaha! I’m dying of laughter!”
Mid-sentence, Xu Jiaojiao seemed to realize something and burst into uproarious laughter.
But I had no idea what she was laughing at, or why it was so funny.
I just stood there, watching her laugh for a long time, until she was almost breathless. Finally, she wiped away tears and said:
“I say, are you for real? You honestly didn’t realize?”
Xu Jiaojiao’s eyebrows furrowed into an inverted V, and with a wicked smile like an evil prankster, she joyfully announced in a clear voice.
“Do you know what I’m laughing at? I’m laughing because you thought I was a woman!”
N-no way… you…
“That’s right! Damn it, I’m a man!”
Xu Jiaojiao isn’t a girl. She… I mean… is a boy!
