Chapter 1.1: Lianbing and Killing Intent
My body froze, and even the breath I exhaled turned cold.
I… can’t suppress it any longer.
“Young Miss?”
“…Help me.”
This was the first time in my life I had ever asked Shirley for help.
If this continues… I might go mad.
Seven Days Ago
After taking a bath and drying my hair, Shirley was brushing it for me.
My complicated feelings hadn’t eased at all; they had only gotten worse.
It was all Juncheng An’s fault.
Although it sounds unreasonable, right now, I just want to carelessly blame him for everything.
For some reason, I’ve come to hate him intensely, a hatred that feels more profound than any physical disgust.
I feel uncomfortable even sharing the same air as him. Just seeing him disrupts my thoughts, leaving me flustered and inexplicably uneasy.
But my reason tells me this feeling is abnormal.
Because… this hatred came out of nowhere.
Initially, when I first met him, I was merely curious. A normal person like him standing out in this class was probably akin to a strange fascination with a living fossil. I approached him proactively.
Then I was rejected, avoided, ignored.
I’m rather confident in my looks, so being avoided like that was unpleasant… He managed to reject me decisively every single time.
Many things happened afterward. He saved me several times, yet our relationship didn’t improve one bit.
What’s with this guy? Treating a girl like this, he deserves to be alone forever.
But I have to admit, I became even more interested in him that way.
Hehehe… Perhaps I have a bit of an M-tendency? The more I’m rejected, the more I want to approach him. The more unattainable something is, the more I want to possess it. Is this greed inherited from that person?
Juncheng An is special. I want to understand him ‘more deeply.’ Once I’ve set my sights on a target, I never change them. I think it’s time to move to the next stage…
But just as I had planned everything and was ready to execute it, on the day of preparation, he suddenly changed.
Did he transform from a green apple to a ripe one? No, it was more like he became an ‘apple orchard.’
I couldn’t understand why this person could change so drastically overnight, as if he had transmigrated from the future. His entire demeanor had matured.
He no longer ignored me when speaking, and he could deal with me more calmly, as if he had known me for a long time.
This change made me even more curious about what had happened to him.
However, on the other hand, I knew my plan had failed.
I couldn’t kill him anymore.
He had suddenly become immense. Even if I give it my all, I probably won’t be able to kill him successfully.
I felt unwilling and a bit regretful. Why didn’t I act sooner?
But, on the other hand, I felt a little delighted that he was willing to talk to me.
No, what am I happy about? This is just like a girl in love.
“What’s wrong? Young Miss?”
“It’s nothing, nothing at all. Don’t mind it.”
“Heh, then did you remember something?”
“When it’s just the two of us, you don’t need to use honorifics with me, Shirley.”
“Hehehe, I understand. So, what did you remember that made you sigh?”
“Almighty Miss Shirley, you know exactly what I’m thinking, don’t you?”
“My, my, calling me that is just like Young Master Juncheng. It seems you are thinking about him, aren’t you?”
Asking me when you already know.
Shirley, I hate you.
But I hate that guy more.
“…I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I suddenly started hating that guy, but it’s not just simple hate. This vague, ambiguous feeling is making me so nauseous I could puke.
It probably started a few days ago, and this feeling has become more and more apparent. By today, I’m thinking about him almost constantly.
This isn’t normal. I must be under some kind of curse.
My desire to turn him into a corpse stems from ‘liking’ him. It’s the same with my killing intent.
But this feeling of ‘hate’ is something I’ve never experienced before.
“You bear the mark of Destiny Power. You should have been affected by the Destined Ability of some Master of Fate.”
“Destiny Power?”
I learned about these special concepts during that incident last time. It was also when Juncheng An saved me… Hehe, he saved me.
“Young Miss?”
“Mhm, Shirley, can you not remove it?”
“I regret to say, I cannot do that. However, there might be other ways.”
Shirley saying she can’t do it means she truly can’t. But there should be other ways; she’s deliberately not mentioning them.
Things like ‘finding the person who activated this ability’ are likely within her capabilities. But even if I asked, Shirley wouldn’t agree.
Although Shirley is my maid, she doesn’t agree to everything. She has her own considerations.
“But there is one person who can help you. Young Miss, as long as you re-establish a destined connection with Young Master Juncheng, you won’t be affected.”
“You mean letting him lick me?”
I replied without hesitation.
I’m your master, and you’re suggesting a man freely lick his master? You truly are a devilish maid, aren’t you.
Hehehe. Perhaps I should dismiss you?
“Oh, but I’ve already promised Young Master Juncheng that I would help him in any way I could.”
…You sure care about him. Is he actually your true master?
“Hehehe, Young Miss, are you jealous?”
Shirley gently stroked my hair, but I impatiently brushed her hand away. Still, she embraced me from behind.
“I do have some connection with Young Master Juncheng, but it’s all thanks to you, Young Miss. Helping him is equivalent to helping you.”
“Is this about what happened in the ‘previous world’ again?”
Shirley had told me about such things, and I had roughly pieced together the entire process in my mind.
To put it simply, the reason Juncheng An suddenly became so different from me was because he came from a previous world.
“You know what happened in the original world?”
“I don’t know everything. After all, I’m not in my complete form right now. I can only observe what happened in a general sense, like historical events.”
Shirley never told me what my relationship with Juncheng An was in the original world.
But I could roughly guess. Perhaps we were lovers.
If I only felt pure hatred towards him, I wouldn’t be this troubled right now.
It’s precisely because I’ve realized this possibility that I’m so angry, as this feeling came out of nowhere.
What kind of feeling is it to like and hate at the same time?
I can’t explain it, can’t articulate it.
But I’ve had enough of this feeling.
“Shirley, as long as I find the person who used this ability on me, I can get rid of this hateful feeling, right?”
“Theoretically, yes. However, I won’t help you. Nor will I allow you to use the Ji Family’s power. Actually, even if you did, it probably wouldn’t be very effective.”
“Hehehe. I don’t need your help. Didn’t you say I just need to find Juncheng An? Then I’ll see what he can do for me.”
“Oh dear… Young Master Juncheng is very kind, but he doesn’t offer help unconditionally.”
“I know, but I also know what can make him… He likes maids, right?”
“Hmmph~ That is indeed a very good bargaining chip.”
“If he can really help me, I don’t mind becoming his maid.”
If he truly helps me find the culprit, this hateful feeling will disappear, leaving only liking. I will willingly become his ma…
Finally, I’ll kill him and make him my collection.
And if he ultimately can’t help me, and the hateful feeling continues to grow… there’s no use keeping such a person around.
As revenge, I’ll send him to his death.
Hehehe. I sincerely hope for your death, Juncheng An… Become my corpse.
