Chapter 13: Perfect, Imperfect, Pure, False – Part 4
I’m stuffed.
My stomach feels like it’s filled with something, gradually expanding.
But it’s just a feeling; my body itself hasn’t changed.
Yet something is definitely flooding in, forcefully, undeniably, spreading to every corner of my body, transforming my body, my spirit, even my soul.
“…What exactly did you stuff in here?”
“And why is it the other way around…?”
“This is too strange! If anything, I should be the one receiving social security!”
“There’s nothing strange about it. It’s just as we agreed, compensating for deficiency by taking from what is in excess. Only by clearing out the excess parts can we avoid the cycle being disrupted.”
“What is this… Wait! Don’t tell me!”
Was pushing me down just now for this?
Yes, it must be for this!
You said it was to satisfy my desires, but that was just an excuse. The real purpose is…
“You stuffed the world into me?!”
“Please don’t say ‘stuffed.’ It’s just a gift for you, Father.”
“Don’t call me Father!”
I don’t have a daughter like you.
“No, at this moment, in this instant, you are my father. Not only did you create this body for me, but you also granted me a new life, and allowed me to live in your world. Therefore, without a doubt, you are my father.”
“This isn’t how father and daughter interact.”
Your address to me has completely changed to formal language, but I can’t sense any respect from it. Instead, I can clearly hear your triumphant joy at achieving your goal.
“Besides, isn’t this just a close interaction between father and daughter? Didn’t that god who once symbolized the sun also call you ‘Father’? And…”
“You’ve been peering into my memories…”
“In this mental space, your memories are like books in a library, freely available for perusal. So, it’s not exactly peeking, is it?”
It’s like someone’s diary is just sitting there, and you read it without permission. Isn’t that still peeking?
No, this isn’t the time to dwell on such things. Did she transfer the world to me?
How did she do it?
[Answer: When the original host’s connection to the world was weakened, it could be transferred through soul contact.]
…?.
What was that just now?
[Answer: The answer.]
Did text and a voice automatically appear in my mind?
[Answer: Ask and it is answered.]
What the heck, is this a system?
[Answer: No.]
Is this the system from within the world? Have I become an administrator? Or did I gain GM privileges?
[Answer: No, no, no.]
None of that is correct.
This isn’t any system prompt, nor is it a voice of revelation.
It’s ‘my own voice’.
My brain is operating at super high speed. I see the origin of everything, the end of everything, the rules of the world, the truth of the universe.
‘I gain the answer before I can even think,’ giving me a sense of sudden realization.
So this is what it feels like to become the world.
“It seems you understand without further explanation. Skipping the process, the ability to get instant answers just by asking a question, and to gain information with just a glance, that is ‘omniscience’.”
I’m surprised by my own transformation, but even more surprised that I can adapt to it so quickly.
I can understand instantly because I now understand everything I didn’t before.
It’s like being infused with decades of cultivation by a martial arts master, an epiphany.
The origin of this world.
In the beginning, there were only elementary particles appearing and annihilating in pairs in a lawless space.
Then, at that origin, there appeared a ‘Creator’ who surpassed gods.
The transcendence of dimensions was achieved, forming a Calabi-Yau manifold space, and the world system called ‘universe’ was born.
This isn’t what I want to know.
Even with all knowledge obtained, one cannot fathom the human heart.
“You just gave up like that…”
“No, I didn’t.”
She shook her head.
“Lou Ling and I are different. I don’t have another personality named ‘Lou Yi’ to help and assist me. I can’t affirm myself like she does, nor do I have someone like you, Father, who can tolerate her and acknowledge and accept her existence.”
“But you yourself are the world.”
“I’ve never admitted to being the world. ‘I’ don’t consider myself the world. Since my birth, I’ve repeatedly questioned myself, but even the ‘ability to gain answers’ cannot provide me with an answer.”
I see. She must have self-created.
In her confusion, like a helpless child, she questioned herself.
Who am I?
[Answer: The world.]
Incorrect.
[Answer: The universe.]
Incorrect.
[Answer: The truth.]
Incorrect.
[Answer: Fate.]
Incorrect.
[Answer: Absolute God.]
Incorrect.
[Answer: The Creator.]
Incorrect.
All of them are wrong.
They are fallacies; I am none of those things.
Everything moves within the square, and all changes stem from the same root.
I am Juncheng An.
And I can only be Juncheng An.
However, she couldn’t answer like that.
“Those ‘answers’ are all wrong. Because I know where I came from, it’s the world’s instinct. The ‘supplementary part’ constitutes me, meaning… it wasn’t part of the original world at all, was it?”
“Then what am I? Why can’t I get an answer? Why can’t I answer the question ‘Who am I’?”
Such questions…
“What exactly am I? Why do I exist?”
How could there be an answer to that…
“But even if I ask, I won’t get the correct answer.”
The girl sat on me, placed her hands on her chest, and said.
“Then I thought, perhaps I’m not ‘pure’ enough.”
“Not pure enough…”
“That’s right. I am the ‘thing’ used to fill the world. Because I’ve merged with the world, I can’t figure myself out.”
“My purpose.”
I don’t need to ask; I can already get the answer.
“I am impurity to the world, and the world is superfluous to me. Therefore, I must strip away that impurity, that superfluous thing.”
And now is the process of ‘purification’.
It’s still ongoing.
I don’t know how much longer it will take, but she’s becoming more and more human.
“I’ve gained the human heart, and the human desires. Since I was never alive, I don’t have a ‘will to live,’ but I do have a ‘will to know’.”
Humans have three fundamental desires.
The will to live, the will to know.
The will to possess.
All other desires are derived from these three basic desires.
“Unlike Lou Ling, who from the start acquired a human body, human spirit, and even a ‘fragment’ of a human name, these are things I lack. So, I ‘want to possess’ them too.”
The girl continuously yearned, asking of me, expressing her desires through actions and words.
“I want a name, I want to exist, I want… to become human. I think if I become human, I might know what I am and who I am.”
“But why me?”
“It can only be you, Father. Only you. You are the only candidate. Because to this world, you are a special existence, and not just special in one way, but in many.”
The girl and I are still closely connected. She puts her index finger in her mouth, wets it with saliva, and draws circles on my chest.
“This world split because of you, and merged because of you. And because of your wish, it became a world that loops back on itself, a world without anomalies. Even the world is your wife. In the altered history, you have even replaced the ‘world,’ because you are the child of destiny yourself.”
I am intrinsically a Master of Fate with immense Destiny Power.
I am the one who decides the divergence point of the world.
In countless parallel worlds, it is a Master of Fate like me who decides ‘which path to take.’ It’s just that this Master of Fate did not complete his responsibility… or rather, ‘overly’ completed his responsibility.
“You are the chosen one, like the boy who pilots a giant robot to fight an Apostle, and ultimately the world is reshaped into the form he desired.”
“I don’t want to start over.”
“Compared to that sensitive boy, you are much stronger. Don’t you have any mental barriers?”
“You easily achieved self-awareness, without needing anyone to hit you or console your heart. You easily achieved self-transcendence like that. Truly strong.”
Disliking myself or disliking the world are merely excuses to escape and the roots of regret.
If I don’t change myself first, nothing can change.
“I simply chose to accept everything and possess everything.”
“You are so ‘pure,’ I envy you…”
The girl climbed off me, tidied her hair. Her body, though soiled, still emanated a faint glow, so beautiful it was suffocating.
It’s over.
At this moment, the roles are reversed.
I became the world, and she returned to being human.
I also got up from the ground, placed a hand on my knee, and snapped my fingers.
Then, the girl before me gained a real body.
Just as Lou Yi created an immortal, indestructible body for me, I gave the girl I personally shaped a genuine one.
“There. Now, you just need a name.”
“A daughter’s name should be given by her father, so please give me a name.”
“…Ah… What should I call you?”
Since she’s the first woman in the world, why not call her Eve? But I remember there’s also the saying Lilith was the first woman… Too bad someone already has that name.
“The superfluous part became… to become pure… There happens to be a surname called Chunyu… How about Huan?”
Huan.
Representing this endlessly looping world.
At least she was once a part of it.
“Chunyu Huan? What a shame. I thought Dad would have me take your surname, An.”
“…Naming you with my surname gives me a sense of incest.”
I really don’t want to be your father.
“So, how does it feel to be human?”
The girl pondered for a moment, then said with a half-smile.
