Chapter 33: Sleepless Night
…Huh?
What’s wrong?
What happened?
Did time stop?
Why aren’t we moving?
Questions filled my mind, making me want to open my eyes. But I was afraid of seeing Keling’s body and her almost-broken expression, so I dared not open them.
So I didn’t know what had happened.
I had already given up, no longer resisting, prepared to silently bear the consequences of failing to harmonize my relationships with my younger sisters. But after I said that sentence, there was no more movement.
Hmm… Did that sentence have some kind of impact?
In the end, I couldn’t help but secretly open my left eye, squinting to peek at Keling’s expression.
Keling… she was completely frozen.
Her eyeballs were like a rusted lock cylinder, unable to move anymore. Her gaze was unfocused, staring at something unknown… her thoughts were still wandering in her mind. Even though I opened my eyes, she didn’t react at all.
Then her expression slowly turned gloomy, as if her soul had been hollowed out. Her lips trembled unconsciously a couple of times, but no sound came out.
She looked as despairing as if she had fallen into a bottomless abyss, her will to live completely gone.
When had the innocent and cute Keling ever shown such a despairing expression?
What on earth happened?
Was it my sentence that caused the problem?
Just then, Xinran’s cool hand touched my cheek, making me shiver. I quickly looked up at her with a bewildered expression.
She lowered her head and looked at me, then squeezed her eyebrows towards the dazed Keling.
Then she released her leg that was pinning my neck and freed my hands, allowing my upper body to move freely.
She wanted me to comfort Keling, didn’t she? Xinran… she didn’t seem too surprised by Keling’s state.
As expected, she already knew Keling’s true face.
Perhaps only I was unaware… Ahh, I’m becoming more and more convinced that I’m a failure as an Older Brother.
And now is the time to salvage my image as an Older Brother!
So I slowly pushed my upper body up… I seem to have done this action quite a few times recently. My back is a little sore. Speaking of which, doesn’t this mean I’ve been inexplicably tackled recently? This is not good…
Cough, this is not the time for this. I need to bring Keling back to her senses first.
“Keling.”
I reached out and placed my hand on Keling’s shoulder, softly calling her name. She trembled all over upon hearing me, her eyes regained focus, and she slightly tilted her head, looking at me with unease.
My heart ached…
She suddenly looked like she was about to cry…
“Brother… do you think I’ve changed?”
“…”
Ah, ahh, so that’s it.
Keling still doesn’t know that I already know her other side through her title. The Keling I knew before gave me an impression of being innocent, cute, and lively, while hiding her dark side.
Therefore, when I said, “You weren’t like this before,” she thought her hidden personality had been exposed, which made her feel lost and bewildered like a child whose secret had been revealed.
To leave a good impression on me, she would only show her good side when I was around.
And I truly thought Keling was a well-behaved and innocent younger sister, completely unaware of Keling’s other side.
I want to dote on my younger sisters and not let them suffer… It sounds nice, but this idiot hasn’t even understood his younger sisters’ true feelings.
Now, the one causing Keling to suffer isn’t someone else, but me, her Older Brother!
But this time, due to jealousy, she lost control and acted in a way completely opposite to her usual self.
Then, I saw through it with a single sentence.
Thinking my silence was tacit approval, Keling covered her face.
“Brother… you must think Keling has become a bad girl… *sob*… Keling, I just…”
Her voice began to tremble. Was she covering her face to hide her tears from me…
Yes, Keling had never cried in front of me… she was always smiling and laughing, all for my sake…
“I just don’t want to lose Brother…”
Liquid fell pitter-patter onto my cheek.
It flowed into my mouth, salty.
It was Keling’s tears.
“I don’t want to be taken away from Brother!”
The insecurity born from jealousy caused Keling to finally break down.
“I like Brother… Keling likes Brother… I’ve liked Brother since a long time ago… *sob*… *sob sob*…”
The tears flowing to my cheek, I didn’t wipe them away, nor did I have the right to. Because my younger sister was crying for me.
“I hope Brother can like me too… I hope Brother can always like Keling, so Keling has always… has always been trying hard to show Brother my best side… *sob sob*…”
Keling released her hands covering her face, tearfully tugged at my collar, and squeezed out an apology with all her might in a hoarse voice.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… Brother, don’t hate me… Keling will be good… don’t hate Keling…!”
Because her hidden personality was exposed, she thought I might hate her?
That’s why she cried out in distress, hoping for my forgiveness.
What a mess… Why didn’t you just tell me earlier…
“You’re so silly… Keling.”
I smiled bitterly and rubbed Keling’s head, then gently pressed the back of her head, letting her lean on my shoulder.
Keling sniffled hard, then quickly looked up and said.
“Brother, it’s dirty!”
But I still forced her, pressing her cheek against my chest.
“It’s not dirty. What’s dirty about a sister’s snot and tears? Besides, they’re for me… It’s my responsibility and my happiness to have them on me.”
“Mhm…”
She let out a soft little meow like a kitten.
The crying stopped, and her mood seemed to have improved. I sighed inwardly, relieved that Keling had finally recovered…
Xinran came to my side, showing an envious expression.
Heh… I really can’t do anything about you two.
I wiped my nose with my left hand, thought for a moment, and then beckoned to Xinran. She happily leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder as well.
But this time, don’t think about doing anything strange with my hand!
Holding one younger sister in each hand, I lay down on the bed, looking at the ceiling light, and said faintly.
“Your brother is a straightforward person. If you don’t tell me exactly what’s on your mind, I won’t know what you want…”
Trying to guess people’s thoughts is tiring. Even though I can now distinguish people’s emotions, I still don’t know what they are specifically thinking.
So, whatever is on your mind, don’t hide it. Just say it directly.
“So, you don’t need to deliberately please me anymore, Keling. Just show your most authentic self naturally. No matter what you become, I will never hate you…”
Because you are my sister.
How could I hate my own family…
“Like Xinran, she used to disdain to even talk to me. It was as if she ignored my existence as her Older Brother.”
Ouch! It hurts!
Don’t pinch my lower back, Xinran!
“Brother… please don’t blame Xinran-jie. It’s because Xinran-jie and I agreed that Brother would be mine during the day and then Xinran-jie’s at night, so she has always been so cold to you…”
“Uh? Okay, you two actually divided me up without consulting me!”
So that’s why Xinran was “night raiding” me every night! It was because of this!
“Hehe~ Brother, you’re the best…”
“Mhm… Brother is always the best…”
Ah, really, you two make me shy!
To cover my awkwardness, I kicked the unfolded quilt over and spread it over the three of us, saying.
“Then let’s go to sleep! Sleep! I took the subway back from Jinhua Department Store today, switched lines twice, and was almost exhausted!”
Of course, the main reason was meeting Lanhua, which doubled my fatigue… Hmm, at this time, Gao Yingnuo should have found Lanhua by now, right?
After receiving her best friend’s comfort, Lanhua might be a little more cheerful…
Speaking of which, I made two girls cry tonight… My conscience is practically riddled with holes.
“Jinhua Department Store? Did Brother go shopping? Didn’t we agree to go shopping together tomorrow… Are we not going tomorrow then?”
Keling pouted with disappointment, expressing her dissatisfaction.
“No, tomorrow’s schedule is the same. First, we’ll go to Dad’s to check the wound, then we’ll go shopping…”
I didn’t mention Kaoru Tsukiyose. That matter… is not something that can be spoken of.
“Then, let’s sleep, no more talking.”
“Brother, aren’t you turning off the lights?”
“Mhm, not turning them off. My room’s lights aren’t that bright anyway, so let’s just leave them on like this.”
If I turned them off, something big would happen…
I closed my eyes and lay on the bed motionlessly. Since I slept on the subway, I wasn’t too sleepy yet.
After a while, Keling suddenly said.
“Brother… we’ve never slept like this in a ‘川’ shape before…”
“Ah, it seems so.”
Indeed, we siblings had never slept together before.
“That time… it was all Keling’s fault for being so willful. Thinking about it now, it was really silly…”
I thought for a moment before understanding when Keling was referring to. It was probably when she first came to our home.
“Well, after all, you didn’t know me or Xinran then. Let alone Older Brother and Older Sister, you were basically strangers.”
I remember when Keling first moved in, she was very shy and not familiar with me or Xinran. She even kept avoiding us.
At that time, Mom wanted the three of us to share a room to get to know each other, but Keling cried and said she didn’t want to. In the end, I stepped forward and gave up my room for Keling.
This is also why Xinran and I shared a room.
Before, Xinran and I shared a room, but we just had separate beds. We never slept in the same pile of blankets… At least, in my subjective impression, I never slept with her, excluding the times she sneaked into my blanket while I was asleep.
And after moving to the attic, there was even less opportunity to sleep together.
As for sleeping with Keling, it only happened a few times, when I held her tightly to comfort her after she had a nightmare.
Sleeping together, the three of us, this is the first time. I wonder if it will be the last.
“If only it could stay like this forever…”
Xinran’s faint whisper reached my ears. Perhaps that was Xinran’s most sincere thought.
“Hehe, it would surely be very happy then~”
“…”
I didn’t reply, pretending to be asleep.
My younger sisters also stopped talking, just drawing closer to my body.
For it to stay like this forever, it’s impossible… impossible…
That night, I didn’t sleep at all.
The lights remained on, illuminating until dawn along with my spirit…
