Jared, who had just finished a lively dinner party, was taking a moment to relax. As he was about to go to bed early for the next day, he noticed Ernesta standing alone in the mansion’s garden through the window.
Concerned, he went down to the garden and called out to her, as she hadn’t noticed him.
“Aren’t you sleeping?”
“Jared-sama?”
Ernesta, looking much the same as she did during dinner, had slightly flushed cheeks, likely from the wine.
“I know I don’t have much room to talk, but you should rest properly since you’re recovering from being ill,” Jared said.
“I’m sorry. I don’t feel unwell myself, but since I have no memories, I feel uneasy… I couldn’t sleep even if I tried.”
“I understand that completely,” Jared replied.
“Um…”
Ernesta looked up, seemingly about to say something, but hesitated and fell silent. Then, she spoke again.
“Would you mind talking for a bit, if you have the time?”
“Of course.”
They sat down side-by-side on the edge of the fountain. Looking up, the stars were beautiful. As Duke R’s territory is located in the northernmost part of the Wethered Kingdom, it was cooler than the Capital City. The air was also clearer, making the night sky look different from any he had seen before.
As he gazed at the stars, waiting for Ernesta to speak, she finally said,
“When we first met, I said many things to you out of emotion. I apologize.”
Her words were an apology.
“I don’t mind. Regardless of the reason, I was the perpetrator and you are the family of the victim. It would be strange not to be emotional. But why are you bringing this up now?”
“The other day, I saw you fighting and it reminded me of my older brother—no, my brothers.”
Ernesta’s eyes narrowed as if recalling a fond memory.
“I remember my brother, full of justice and dreams, when he was a Court Mage Candidate. He would discuss matters with Tres-sama and our other friends for the sake of the Kingdom, for magicians, and for the citizens.”
“I have no sense of justice or dreams. I fought because I had to fight. That’s all.”
Jared never dreamed of becoming a Court Mage like Barnabas Kaif, nor did he have any noble goals. Even if he hadn’t become a Court Mage, Jared could have easily moved on with his life, feeling only slight disappointment.
He, however, could not and instead pursued revenge. Being framed by Count Brauer further fueled his anger.
Jared couldn’t say he understood her feelings completely, but he could comprehend them. Barnabas, though perhaps partly for his own sake, had also considered the country and its people. Yet, he lost everything due to nobles and officials of the Mage Association who were supposed to protect the country and its people. The stronger his feelings, the greater his anger must have become.
He wondered what it was about him that reminded her of Barnabas.
“However—Jared-sama, you saved many people. There are many lives that would not have been saved without you.”
“I’m happy to hear you say that.”
“My brother had noble aspirations, but he had low self-esteem. You are similar to him.”
Jared didn’t consciously think of himself as having low self-esteem, but in Ernesta’s eyes, he resembled her late brother.
Every time she mentioned Barnabas, a small pang of pain shot through his chest.
“I no longer resent you for my brother’s sake.”
“…What?”
“I am truly sorry for projecting my selfish emotions onto you. And once again—thank you for stopping my brother.”
Ernesta bowed her head with a gentle smile. Jared was taken aback by her smile, which seemed to have lifted a great burden from her.
“…Why?”
Ernesta responded to his unspoken question.
“You suffered because of my brother. Everyone would say you are not to blame, and indeed, you are not responsible. Yet, you carry guilt for our sake, for my brother’s sake. That alone is a great comfort to us.”
“But,” she continued,
“Please don’t feel guilty about my brother anymore. You corrected my brother’s misguided path. I am grateful for that. However, if—if you cannot let go of that guilt, then please become a good Court Mage for the sake of the people. That was the ideal my brother once strove for.”
“…I don’t have the confidence that I can become such a person—but I promise to try.”
“Yes. That alone makes me happy.”
Seeing Ernesta’s calm expression, Jared’s heart felt a little lighter. He knew that it would take a long time for the guilt to disappear, and it might never truly vanish. Nevertheless, as he had promised, he hoped that by aiming to become a good Court Mage, it would bring some solace to her and the surviving family of Barnabas.
“Hey, Ernesta—”
“Hm?”
Taking Lily’s advice, he summoned his courage and called her by her name. She looked surprised by the sudden address, but not displeased.
“To fulfill my promise, I’d like you to continue as my Secretary Officer from now on. Also, you don’t have to call me ‘Jared-sama’ so formally.”
“…Thank you. Then, outside of formal occasions—how about I call you Jared-kun?”
Feeling that they had finally bridged the gap between them, Jared smiled gently and nodded.
