“Looking at it this way, I’m incredibly hated.”
“——–”
“Is that so? Well, it’s fine.”
“—————-”
“By the way, where is this place?”
Ul had arrived in yet another location.
After finishing watching the video in what could be called a “viewing room,” Ul passed through a newly appeared white door and found himself in this room. Unlike before, the room was bright. He could tell it was inside a building, but there was wind, and plants were planted, perhaps for viewing. Several children’s playground equipment were lined up. It was like a park occasionally seen in the city.
Ul was sitting at a desk in the center of the space.
Several writing instruments were scattered on the desk. Faint graffiti marks remained on the desk, and there were scratches too. However, despite that, it didn’t look dirty when he touched it with his finger. It was clear that it had been cleaned carefully and used repeatedly.
There was a strong lingering scent of life.
The remnants of those who had used this place evoked a strange nostalgia.
“——–”
“–”
“—————-”
The white haze had increased slightly in number. Two or three, it was difficult to be precise visually. Perhaps there were more, or perhaps fewer. They seemed to be playing happily, or so it felt.
Like a mirage, they remained hazy and unclear even when Ul approached. They disappeared and reappeared in the blink of an eye.
There was only one white haze beside Ul. It tugged at Ul’s arm and then pointed at the center of the table with a hazy finger. Then, an image appeared from the void.
Her journey continued.
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
His journey continued.
Encountering the Hero, one of Israelia’s greatest forces, early on was purely by chance. At the time of contact, she hadn’t even realized he was the Hero, so the surprise when it was revealed was immense.
He couldn’t help but be anxious that she might discover his true identity.
He wondered what fate awaited him, meeting her so soon.
In hindsight, it was a baseless fear, but even so, it was terrifying. If she, the Hero and guardian of the world of Israelia, had learned his true identity, she would have killed him, no matter how close their relationship had become.
When he spoke with her, tension inevitably ran through him. He continued to feign the appearance of a benevolent saint, making sure not to show the slightest hint of it. It was easy to deceive himself and put on a facade.
“I like it when everyone seems happy. It makes me feel warm.”
Except for the blinding brilliance of her true self, so different from his own fake self, that it felt like his eyes would be burned out, it was nothing.
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
His journey continued.
His encounter with Rock, the soldier made of human bones, was an unexpected stroke of luck for her.
Initially, his recruitment was driven by a clear intention to confuse the enemy’s forces and, if possible, gain a powerful Familiar. However, in the end, he became an indispensable force in their journey.
His presence, brightening the mood and bringing laughter even outside of battles, was immeasurable help during their travels.
That’s why it pained her to use him for her own purposes.
He was frustrated by being used by cultists.
She couldn’t help but hesitate to force him to commit acts far worse than that.
As a result, revealing everything to him was greatly delayed.
She had always maintained the facade of sincerely trying to keep his promise in front of him.
“Well, I figured as much. So, you wanna do it? Ka ka ka!!!”
Just before everything truly began, before plunging into Greed, around the time she secretly made a pact with the Demon King, when the coward revealed everything, he smiled broadly.
When she asked if he wasn’t angry with her, he answered immediately, “No.”
“Don’t worry, I definitely chose the path with you! Ka ka ka!!!”
Rock gently stroked Shizuku’s head, who had continued to doubt his choice until the very end. She couldn’t look up at his words and kindness.
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
His journey continued.
The encounter with Rine was initiated by Ul and his companions, and in terms of combat ability, it brought about a revolutionary advancement. The power of the White King Array she bestowed upon Shizuku and the others brought about revolutionary development.
For them, who were progressing rapidly in their activities as Adventurers, the number of walls that hindered them due to their immaturity was too great. She gave them the power to break through those walls.
However, beyond these practical benefits, her presence was also a shock to Shizuku.
The existence of a girl who ran for dreams and passion, unrelated to survival, was vivid.
Although she couldn’t help but feel a slight irritation towards her, who pursued dreams and passion in Israelia while the world was in such dire straits, it was, of course, not her fault that she was unaware of it. In the face of her vibrant spirit, such things became irrelevant.
“I want to regain my family and my pride. I’m willing to die for that.”
“Isn’t that natural?” Her radiance, as she appealed to that sentiment, was overwhelmingly brilliant.
It strongly reminded her of him and her, talking about their futures with sparkling eyes in that nostalgic, luminous garden, and there were many times she couldn’t look directly at her.
May her wish come true.
However, she herself was the one who would turn the world upside down for her wish to come true. Each time she realized this, Shizuku felt an urge to stab herself multiple times.
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
His journey continued.
“I want to be happy. This time, I want to do what I truly desire and work hard for it.”
The process of traveling with Escher, and her, was complicated. Honestly, it was hardly a good encounter. Shizuku had thought she could use her circumstances. She thought she could win over the mentally weakened her.
However, she hadn’t expected her to become a true ally.
Was it Ul’s charisma that made it possible? After a complicated sequence of events and a struggle between family members, she had finally regained a healthy spirit.
Abused by her family, nearly killed by her brother, betrayed by her own kin.
Even after enduring all conceivable tragedies, the fact that she still wished to work hard to become happy was dazzling to Shizuku. She worked hard for her own happiness and the happiness of those she loved, unbound by a tragic past. It was impossible not to see it as noble.
She was so different from herself.
Shizuku knew she envied her standing beside Ul, but she herself was the one who was truly dazzled and couldn’t help but be envious. After all, she was far more advanced, moving further ahead.
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
His journey continued.
There were Adventurers who, by circumstance, became his collaborators.
Priests who, by the same flow of events, were forced to shed their excess weight.
Warriors who forged a strong trust with him while they were apart.
A Saint who, though never having met him, dedicated her very soul to him.
A blacksmith with extraordinary talent who chose them as the place to wield her power.
A swordswoman with exceptional strength, a vivid will, and hidden kindness.
She continued to encounter many more.
The world surrounding him continued to expand, and she was swallowed by it. And she, too, expanded that world. She made excuses that it was more efficient that way.
Before she knew it, she was in a warm place. A place as gentle and warm as that white classroom, and she was creating that place herself.
Please, forgive me, she pleaded.
Please, overlook this place, this paradise, she prayed.
I will definitely leave, so please, just for now, forgive me, she implored.
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
“Well… but seriously.”
“——–”
“Shizuku is such a ‘do-in-kyā’ (extreme introvert).”
“——–!”
“What else can you say? There’s no other way to describe it.”
Ul walked with the white haze, glancing at many of Shizuku’s pasts. Ul’s thoughts, reading her inner feelings and emotions towards her companions, prompted the white haze to make a motion of protest, as if. The haze moved violently, brushing past Ul.
Although it blocked his vision and was a bit bothersome, Ul had no intention of retracting his words.
“Inferiority complex, sullenness, guilt about everything. Hiding her heart with thick makeup. She’s not even close to what Escher was back then.”
He wasn’t unaware of the void within her or the hidden self-loathing lurking beneath the surface, but actually experiencing it directly from her perspective was more than he had imagined. He realized that she had rarely revealed her true feelings when acting with Ul and the others.
If Escher were to know this, she would surely be shocked. Although she never said it, she seemed to admire Shizuku, who could do anything.
“——–”
“I know. If that were all there was to it, none of us would be here.”
This is her, from the perspective of her soul, as seen by herself.
It’s natural to be prejudiced. Humans don’t understand themselves.
Ul advanced, carrying the raging white haze. The corridor stretched endlessly, but his field of vision gradually sloped downwards. It was gradually descending.
“However, I understand that if I don’t find the root of her dark side, no conversation will be possible.”
The overwhelming guilt deep in Shizuku’s heart. If he were to truly connect with her, he couldn’t have a proper conversation without understanding that. Ul believes that it’s not always necessary to expose the past of others, but in her case, it’s different.
He couldn’t even touch her true feelings unless he peeled back the layers of heavy past veils.
“That’s why you’re guiding me, right? ‘Mami’.”
Ul asked the white haze.
“Oh, was that wrong?”
As he spoke, the wavering of the white haze intensified. When Ul let go, the haze that had been following him like a mirage began to coalesce into one. In an instant, it solidified into the form of a child, about a head shorter than Ul.
“——–Did you realize?”
The voice was still layered. It wasn’t clear if it was male or female. The appearance seemed childlike, like a girl’s or a boy’s. However, judging by the way it spoke, Ul understood that his guess was not far off.
“Well, it’s a hunch.”
The cruel ritual to strengthen Shizuku’s body and adjust her as a vessel for God.
Ul knew that in the process, Shizuku’s friends had been sacrificed. He knew that their souls had been offered to her. Therefore, he had predicted that something like this might happen.
Having experienced dialogue with absorbed souls, it was easy for Ul to imagine.
“You’ve been inside Shizuku all this time?”
“It’s more like a remnant.”
She spun around in place. With just one movement, Ul saw the figures of several different people. Like a mirage, like a kaleidoscope, she changed into the forms of various children one after another.
“Magic power, memories, and remnants of souls.”
“And Shizuku?”
“She is rejecting us.”
She shook her head sadly. Then she started to lead Ul forward again.
“We are creating a path from fragments of our memories. So don’t wander off.”
“What happens if I do?”
“You’ll be swallowed by the ‘black things’ gathered beneath her.”
“Malicious emotions, huh… Well, that’s only natural.”
Shizuku gained power by being feared throughout Israelia as the Moon God and an Evil God, but it wasn’t a safe method. Escher often mentioned that when she drew upon the power of the Mirror Spirit, she would sometimes be overwhelmed by disgusting emotions, but Shizuku’s situation was likely on a different scale.
Shizuku as the Moon God would not last long. It would collapse soon.
Understanding this, Ul continued forward.
He proceeded further down the corridor. Even as the slope became almost a right-angled descent down a cliff, Ul continued to walk without issue. He felt the lighting gradually dimming. Not only the brightness, but he also felt a sticky sensation on his skin. The ground became viscous. There was humidity and a foul odor that pricked his nostrils. The inorganic and clean-looking corridor became stained with a dark, reddish hue.
“That is ahead.”
The ‘Mami’ guiding him stopped abruptly. They wouldn’t go any further. They looked pained, as if unable to move.
“We cannot go further. We are not allowed to approach.”
“Because Shizuku rejects it?”
He, or rather, they, nodded. Ul understood.
“I see. So this is the real deal.”
Ul pushed forward. There was no obstacle preventing Ul from advancing. However, the moment he stepped foot inside, a strong sense of revulsion and hostility tore through him. Her intense emotions were rejecting him, telling him not to take another step.
With each step forward, he felt a sense of being pierced himself, and a terrifying sensation of piercing her, yet Ul continued to advance.
“Ul-san.”
Midway, he was called from behind, and he turned around. The path Ul had already taken had melted away and disappeared. In the grotesque darkness, only the white haze could be faintly seen.
“Ul is fine.”
“Ul, please. Save her.”
As the space dissolved and disappeared, the last thing he saw of the white haze was its definite form. The child, with a look of great pain, shouted at Ul.
“She’s a quiet, reserved, and kind child. A good child who is happy just being with everyone. So…”
“I know. I understand. It’s alright.”
Ul smiled.
“I have no intention of going back empty-handed after coming this far. I’ll do my best.”
With that, the white haze smiled with relief and vanished.
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Ul continued to walk down the corridor.
The spatial distortion worsened with each step. There was hardly any light from illumination anymore. The foul odor was suffocating, and the feel of the ground was like stepping on the decaying corpse of a living creature. Ul recalled the labyrinthine state of Uuga before it was reborn as a Moving Fortress, but even that was not as bizarre as this.
Still, Ul pressed on relentlessly. Finally, he arrived.
“………Is this it?”
He had arrived in front of what had always appeared as a white door whenever he looked at fragments of Shizuku’s memories—or rather, what had been a white door.
“Disgusting.”
The original form of the door was no longer present. It was shattered, cracked, and distorted. Several dried bloodstains clung to it. Putrid flesh, emanating a foul stench, had fused with the door and was beating sickeningly.
Without a doubt, her “core”—or rather, the source of the problem—existed beyond this.
The oppressive aura and the clear intent of rejection made Ul feel sick. However, this was inside the soul; it wasn’t his actual physical body. He wouldn’t suffer from the stench or the grotesque appearance.
Taking a deep breath, he raised his face. As he told Mami, he had no intention of backing down after coming this far.
“Let’s see what’s behind door number one.”
Saying that, he placed his hand on the door. Unlike before, it didn’t open on its own, so Ul was forced to put strength into his hand.
“Excuse me for intruding.”
Using force, he opened the door. Blood and the stench of decay flowed out. Ul stepped into the darkness that appeared beyond the open door without hesitation.
